Spontaneous Family Gatherings

[Guest guest]

How do you all deal with spontaneous family gatherings? Reason i ask

is because, my in laws are very spontaneous people. When ever out of

town family comes into town, things are done on the spur of the

moment, and they get very touchy if we do not participate.

For instance, last night was dinner and playing pool at a local

establishment(alcohol free). They coudln't really understand why I

would not take Landon to this establishment.(Firstly, he's never been

there, that's a huge minus since he doesn't like change. Second, it's

noisy, and his sensory issues include obsesseive noise.)My husband

went, and I felt like a huge heel for not participating. At first, he

wasn't going to go either, but they kept calling, asking him why we

weren't going to go, and got really put off by the fact that we might

not attend.

Tonight, they called while we were eating dinner to tell us that

tonight's activity was bowling, and we should go. My DH tells them

that we are eating dinner and can not go at the moment. So they show

up at the door. While we're eating dinner. To tell us that we need to

participate. I politely explained that Landon would never step foot in

a bowling alley, and even if I was lucky enough to avoid the " stop,

drop and flop " long enough to get him in the door, the noise alone

would send him right back out of it. They could not even begin to

grasp this concept. They ended up not going to the bowling alley but

instead going to a local church to play basketball. And again, I feel

like a huge heel for not going, because I'm really expected to. They

just can't grasp the concept that bringing Landon to places he's never

been to before, is a HUGE fight. Plus, he's not going to just sit

there and watch these people play basketball, and the noise alone

would probably be enough to send him into a fit of stress and he

doesn't need.

Why can't people just take my word for it?! Even my husband looked at

me like, " Why wouldn't you take him to a metal building that has a

large hardwood floor?? "

I don't do anything spontaneous with Landon, and I can't seem to

convince my in laws that I don't do things like this for very good

reasons. Especially since he's having unpredictable seizures right now!

So my question is, how can I convince my family that I must live in a

well planned, scheduled environment. That I must go to places that

Landon will have an easy out when he gets too much input, a place

where he can go to be alone?