worksheet on my therapist

[Guest guest]

Dear friends,

I've been feeling very frustrated in my therapy and considering

cutting back or even ending. However, I don't have lots of people in

my life right now--in the flesh, that is, as opposed to you all

--and she is someone i can just cry with. But, i'm just making ends

meet financially and sometimes think $100 a week might be better

spent on a massage or saving up to go to The School, or a number of

other things... Anyhow, here's my worksheet on my therapist. I feel

stuck b/c when i then do the questions and TA on a statement like " she

shouldn't interrupt me with inconsequential questions " , i don't know

if i'm just being stubborn but i can't seem to get it out of my head

that a therapist really shouldn't do that (or maybe I don't want to

pay her to do that!) Anyway, here goes... i'd love facilitating kind

of feedback or suggestions on where i might focus or start.

1. B angers and disappoints me. I don't like B b/c she has her own

agenda for our sessions. She interrupts me and gets me off track. i

don't like that she fills in too quickly when i'm silent. i don't like

that she said: " NOW you tell me, 5 minutes before our session is

over...? " when she was the one who'd kept asking me for the details on

the story she wanted to hear. i'm angry i pay $2/minute and don't feel

like she's helping me very much.

2. I want B to let me speak or not speak w/o interrupting with her own

questions or thoughts. I want B to be more sensitive and aware of my

larger process than the details of what did or didn't happen with P in

any one week.

3. B. should not interrupt me w/ her questions. B should sit back more

and listen deeply. B should not try to fix me. B should see the bigger

picture rather than just the trees. B should not be opinionated or at

least not voice them to me.

4. I need B to help me with the bigger issues/questions i have, rather

than being so hungry for the little details. I need B not to interrupt

me with her own curious questions which aren't my concern (e.g., is

that the restaurant on such and such, next to ___? --who cares where

exactly te restaurant is!)

5. I think B is the stereotypical jewish mother, warm and caring, but

too controling. I think she talks too much in my session and does not

help me get to the root of my issues. she's just in it for the money.

6. i don't ever want her to interrupt me again with an irrelevant

question. i don't ever want to hear her voice a sweeping opinion one

way or the other. i want her to help me find my own truths. i don't

ever want to pay her for a session i thought was a waste.

PS In many ways i also love her dearly. Her warmth is important to me.