Re: Does not like his birthday, why?

[Guest guest]

In my daughter's case, I think she liked her birthday but didn't like

all of the personal attention that came her way with it. She liked the

presents but didn't like opening them in front of people. She loves her

extended family but has a hard time when they all wish her a happy

birthday and look at her and expect her to say something back....her

social anxiety has prevented her from fully enjoying special times like

birthdays. Now that she's older--15---it's getting better though.

Maralee

**** Does not like his birthday, why?

****

****

****Hello Everyone,

****

****My 5 year old ASD son says he does like his birthday and does not

****want to celebrate. My DH also says he does not like his own

****birthday. My DH and son both cannot explain why they feel

****that way.Is it becoz

****on a subconsious level they feel life has been unjust to them and

****they are different from others?

****

****Anyone elses child feels so?

****

****

****

****

****

****

****

[Guest guest]

> veritable00 wrote:

> > Hello Everyone,

> >

> > My 5 year old ASD son says he does like his birthday and does not

> > want to celebrate. My DH also says he does not like his own birthday.

> > My DH and son both cannot explain why they feel that way.Is it becoz

> > on a subconsious level they feel life has been unjust to them and

> > they are different from others?

>

> It could be just too many surprises. Our Louie has never liked

> surprises at all. Surprises scared him, because he likes to know what's

> coming and what to expect. It makes him feel secure. Could also be, as

> someone else said, that parties are a minefield of expectations...you're

> expected to say thank you for gifts and good wishes, to open the

> packages and taking out the goodie before going on to the next package,

> to follow a schedule that is out of sync with the regular schedule.

> Just too many expectations. And too much noise! And all those faces!

>

I'd agree with Annie here. Adam once said to me " I don't like surprises " . He

makes a list of the presents he'd like - and has done since he was 5 or so.

He's always understood that there is a price limit and has always stuck to

it. I buy the presents on behalf of his grandparents too. They all go into

one cupboard and he is able to go and look at any time to check what I've

bought. Then I wrap them up the night before.

He is quite happy then to unwrap them on the day (either birthday or

Christmas).

Maybe your son doesn't want to celebrate because it involves all sorts of

unexpected people and him not knowing what the social script is for the

occasion.

My husband is not bothered about celebrating his birthday either and I don't

think he would care if no-one gave him any presents. You have to try and

understand that people with ASD do not have the same emotional reaction to

things as NTs (that is why some have thought that they are unemotional).

So maybe you are trying too hard to make his birthday special, because that

is what you would like. He would probably prefer it if it was as much like a

normal day as possible and no disruption to his routine.

in England

[Guest guest]

I dislike all the attention I get on my birthday. I'd imagine it's

the same for others with AS as well.

> Hello Everyone,

>

> My 5 year old ASD son says he does like his birthday and does not

> want to celebrate. My DH also says he does not like his own

birthday.

> My DH and son both cannot explain why they feel that way.Is it

becoz

> on a subconsious level they feel life has been unjust to them and

> they are different from others?

>

> Anyone elses child feels so?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thankyou all who responded to my posting.

I understand its more of thing about not liking surprises and

to handle so many peoples attention at the same time.

ON the other hand my DH said he likes to celebrate birthdays & cut

cake only with his immediate family.