AW: Re: Frouke from Holland

[Guest guest]

Thank you Frouke for your thoughts and Kirsten for your reply.

" And if I ever managed to join them from that place of peace I learned

for myself that this is an embracing of all my own painful thoughts

and attachments, not to deny and expel them but to meet them with

understanding. "

This is the part I keep forgetting - it's as if when the so-called other (my

mirror) is feeling pain, I feel it - maybe just because of that - it's

mirroring my own pain ?? What are the thoughts and concepts behind that ? It

just keeps going on and on, layers and layers. Incredible.

Thank you so much for showing me my Work !!

Love,

-----Ursprüngliche Nachricht-----

Von: kirstenwitt@...

Gesendet am: Donnerstag, 27. September 2001 12:53

An: Loving-what-is

Betreff: Re: Frouke from Holland

Dear Frouke,

thank you very much for asking for my thoughts on your experience!

Yes, I can hear that so well, I think this situation and struggle is

very familiar to me. When you see someone being in stress, anger,

fear and sadness, apparently attaching to some very painful stories,

and you can see it so clearly from the outside, and what to do

then???? Should I try to tell him? Can I help? - In my experience

this attempts were very difficult. And painful and seperating. (As

you experienced it, too) I think the reason is, that I had been

thinking that there was something wrong in the first place... " People

should not attach to concepts and feel pain " ...hopeless, " He would be

much better off if he investigated his thoughts " ... " it would be much

better for him not to be in pain and fear and anger " - can I really

know if that would be the best for him in this moment??

I sometimes found it very hard to let my friends and loved ones be in

their pain, to accept their very situation like it was, not to try to

help them out of there if they didn´t ask for it. And I think it´s

actually possible to help - but only when I come from a place of

acceptance and understanding for the truth in the moment. How do I

know he should be in pain? - He is!... How do I know my friend should

be confused and feel lonely? - He does! - And that doesn´t say

anything about the next five minutes, hours, days...

And if I ever managed to join them from that place of peace I learned

for myself that this is an embracing of all my own painful thoughts

and attachments, not to deny and expel them but to meet them with

understanding.

You may want to write down your thoughts on your boyfriend, what you

think he should think and not think, how he should change for his own

best and the worlds; and maybe also your thoughts on how you should

have reacted differently, since I hear that you felt bad about your

part in the situation. And investigate. And give yourself a wonderful

time in your own truth and love.

Your work is my work, thank you!!

love, Kirsten