Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Thanks Candace, I'm just learning how to do The Work and it was helpful to me to see how you did it. Gwin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 WONDERFUL OFFERING! Thanks.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Thank you Candace for clearing the air for me. I've been feeling frustrated and bored with the group of late, lots of judgement arising - wanting to intercede but no movement was happening. Your Work is my Work and I realize I really need to write it out for myself. A few one-liners that come to me: We should be using the yahoo group to undo ourselves. We shouldn't be using the group to air our theories and looking for specialness in that. The second one really hits home because I know I do that. This morning I'm going to do The Work on these and dissatisfaction with my body because it aches and won't do enough exercise! On a lighter note (what could be lighter than doing the Work?), there is a big headline on the sports section of The Oregonian this morning ANOTHER ONE COMES UNDONE I don't know what they're talking about but I love it. In love, Margaret > I've been scrolling and reading and scrolling and not reading for several > months now. > > Lots of judgements about words. Too many words. Too much talk about The > Work. Too little doing of the work. Too many ideologies.... too much to > sift through. > > Today I scrolled down without reading one single posting and finally: > > People should be using the yahoo group for doing The Work. I'm disappointed > that more is not being brought into inquiry. People talk too much. People > are talking about this as a process instead of actually inquiring. People > should stick to the questions instead of philosophizing (to speculate in a > superficial or imprecise manner) about the work. I don't want to read long > winded emails talking about the work. I don't want to read emails about > people beliefs. > > **People should be using the yahoo group for doing The Work. > > Is it true. Self righteously she says yes but in going deeper.....no, of > course I can't know that for sure. > > How do I react/feel when I believe that thought? > righteous > superiour > I don't join in > I feel like I'm missing something > disappointed > judgemental > separate > i'm a kid standing on the outside looking in > > Can I think of a stress free reason to keep the thought? No. > > Who would I be without the thought? > Woman sitting in chair looking at (little black marks on the screen) > hmmmmm. > > **More should be brought to inquiry. > > Is that true? I can't know that's true. > > How do I react/feel when I believe the thought? > disappointed > think i'm missing something > needy > in everyone else's business > separate > > Stress free reason to keep the thought? none > > Who would I be without that thought? receptive, peaceful open sitting on > chair > > **People talk too much. > > Is it true. I often have that judgement and sometimes I wish it were true > but no I can't know that for sure. > > How do I react/feel when I believe that thought? > don't listen > scroll through > disregard > tune out > afraid to join in > frustrated > judge substance of words > righteous > > Stress free reason to keep the thought? None > > Who would I be without the thought? quiet inside no resistance to words > > **People are talking about this as a process instead of actually inquiring. > > Is that true. That's how it appears to this one but I can't really know > that's true. > > How do I react/feel when I believe the thought? > disregard postings > stay separate > judgemental > righteous > lonely > > Stress free reason to keep the thought? None > > Who would I be without the thought? More open....more curious......less > separate > > **People should stick to the questions instead of philosophizing about the > work. > > Is it true. In this one's righteous mind it feels true but of course I > can't know that for sure. > > (I'm laughing at this one right now) > > How do I react/feel when I believe the thought? > task master > righteous > feel like God > controlling > > Who would I be without the thought? bubbling laughter.....lightness woman > sitting on chair > > Turnarounds: I should be using the yahoo group for doing the work. People > shouldn't be using the yahoo group for doing the work (unless they are) > > More shouldn't be brought into inquiry (unless it is) Nothing should be > brought into inquiry (unless it is) > > People don't talk too much. I talk too much (just as true) I don't talk > too much. > > I'm talking about inquiry as a process instead of inquiring (sometimes > that's true) > > I should stick to the questions instead of philosophizing (especially about > whether people are doing the work or not) hahahahaha > > I look forward to reading long winded emails talking about the work. > > I look forward to reading emails about people beliefs. > > Yours, > Self righteously :0) > Candace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Thank you for doing my work. I did read most of your worksheet, and I've had the same story. Thanks for your courage to " walk your thoughts " Terri --- Candace Kirby wrote: > I've been scrolling and reading and scrolling and > not reading for several > months now. > > Lots of judgements about words. Too many words. > Too much talk about The > Work. Too little doing of the work. Too many > ideologies.... too much to > sift through. > > Today I scrolled down without reading one single > posting and finally: > > People should be using the yahoo group for doing The > Work. I'm disappointed > that more is not being brought into inquiry. People > talk too much. People > are talking about this as a process instead of > actually inquiring. People > should stick to the questions instead of > philosophizing (to speculate in a > superficial or imprecise manner) about the work. I > don't want to read long > winded emails talking about the work. I don't want > to read emails about > people beliefs. > > **People should be using the yahoo group for doing > The Work. > > Is it true. Self righteously she says yes but in > going deeper.....no, of > course I can't know that for sure. > > How do I react/feel when I believe that thought? > righteous > superiour > I don't join in > I feel like I'm missing something > disappointed > judgemental > separate > i'm a kid standing on the outside looking in > > Can I think of a stress free reason to keep the > thought? No. > > Who would I be without the thought? > Woman sitting in chair looking at (little black > marks on the screen) > hmmmmm. > > **More should be brought to inquiry. > > Is that true? I can't know that's true. > > How do I react/feel when I believe the thought? > disappointed > think i'm missing something > needy > in everyone else's business > separate > > Stress free reason to keep the thought? none > > Who would I be without that thought? receptive, > peaceful open sitting on > chair > > **People talk too much. > > Is it true. I often have that judgement and > sometimes I wish it were true > but no I can't know that for sure. > > How do I react/feel when I believe that thought? > don't listen > scroll through > disregard > tune out > afraid to join in > frustrated > judge substance of words > righteous > > Stress free reason to keep the thought? None > > Who would I be without the thought? quiet inside no > resistance to words > > **People are talking about this as a process instead > of actually inquiring. > > Is that true. That's how it appears to this one but > I can't really know > that's true. > > How do I react/feel when I believe the thought? > disregard postings > stay separate > judgemental > righteous > lonely > > Stress free reason to keep the thought? None > > Who would I be without the thought? More > open....more curious......less > separate > > **People should stick to the questions instead of > philosophizing about the > work. > > Is it true. In this one's righteous mind it feels > true but of course I > can't know that for sure. > > (I'm laughing at this one right now) > > How do I react/feel when I believe the thought? > task master > righteous > feel like God > controlling > > Who would I be without the thought? bubbling > laughter.....lightness woman > sitting on chair > > Turnarounds: I should be using the yahoo group for > doing the work. People > shouldn't be using the yahoo group for doing the > work (unless they are) > > More shouldn't be brought into inquiry (unless it > is) Nothing should be > brought into inquiry (unless it is) > > People don't talk too much. I talk too much (just > as true) I don't talk > too much. > > I'm talking about inquiry as a process instead of > inquiring (sometimes > that's true) > > I should stick to the questions instead of > philosophizing (especially about > whether people are doing the work or not) hahahahaha > > I look forward to reading long winded emails talking > about the work. > > I look forward to reading emails about people > beliefs. > > Yours, > Self righteously :0) > Candace > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Candace, I want to thank you twice for reminding me to do the work by doing the work yourself..So wonderful... ps..I want to thank me for reminding me to do the work after reading your worksheet.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Well, from the lack of replies I've seen lately...I guess that explains some of the quietness going on. From now on, I will try to just write about the work. From what I have seen going on in the past, I've seen loose lines in this group and just figured it was okay to veer off a bit from just the work. Converse, get to know, hear other's take on things, ask questions. It just never occurred to me that some of the conversations were off topic, offensive, or taboo or inappropriate (or whatever you want to call it). I think it's wonderful that some of you found something in yourselves thru this. I can't say I'm sorry for veering off. I will say that if you would rather I didn't encourage other conversations thru my questions and sharings as has been happening lately, then I will not do it here. Just let me know. It's okay. I can respect that wish. Thanks all, Laurie too much talking > I've been scrolling and reading and scrolling and not reading for several > months now. > > Lots of judgements about words. Too many words. Too much talk about The > Work. Too little doing of the work. Too many ideologies.... too much to > sift through. > > Today I scrolled down without reading one single posting and finally: > > People should be using the yahoo group for doing The Work. I'm disappointed > that more is not being brought into inquiry. People talk too much. People > are talking about this as a process instead of actually inquiring. People > should stick to the questions instead of philosophizing (to speculate in a > superficial or imprecise manner) about the work. I don't want to read long > winded emails talking about the work. I don't want to read emails about > people beliefs. > > **People should be using the yahoo group for doing The Work. > > Is it true. Self righteously she says yes but in going deeper.....no, of > course I can't know that for sure. > > How do I react/feel when I believe that thought? > righteous > superiour > I don't join in > I feel like I'm missing something > disappointed > judgemental > separate > i'm a kid standing on the outside looking in > > Can I think of a stress free reason to keep the thought? No. > > Who would I be without the thought? > Woman sitting in chair looking at (little black marks on the screen) > hmmmmm. > > **More should be brought to inquiry. > > Is that true? I can't know that's true. > > How do I react/feel when I believe the thought? > disappointed > think i'm missing something > needy > in everyone else's business > separate > > Stress free reason to keep the thought? none > > Who would I be without that thought? receptive, peaceful open sitting on > chair > > **People talk too much. > > Is it true. I often have that judgement and sometimes I wish it were true > but no I can't know that for sure. > > How do I react/feel when I believe that thought? > don't listen > scroll through > disregard > tune out > afraid to join in > frustrated > judge substance of words > righteous > > Stress free reason to keep the thought? None > > Who would I be without the thought? quiet inside no resistance to words > > **People are talking about this as a process instead of actually inquiring. > > Is that true. That's how it appears to this one but I can't really know > that's true. > > How do I react/feel when I believe the thought? > disregard postings > stay separate > judgemental > righteous > lonely > > Stress free reason to keep the thought? None > > Who would I be without the thought? More open....more curious......less > separate > > **People should stick to the questions instead of philosophizing about the > work. > > Is it true. In this one's righteous mind it feels true but of course I > can't know that for sure. > > (I'm laughing at this one right now) > > How do I react/feel when I believe the thought? > task master > righteous > feel like God > controlling > > Who would I be without the thought? bubbling laughter.....lightness woman > sitting on chair > > Turnarounds: I should be using the yahoo group for doing the work. People > shouldn't be using the yahoo group for doing the work (unless they are) > > More shouldn't be brought into inquiry (unless it is) Nothing should be > brought into inquiry (unless it is) > > People don't talk too much. I talk too much (just as true) I don't talk > too much. > > I'm talking about inquiry as a process instead of inquiring (sometimes > that's true) > > I should stick to the questions instead of philosophizing (especially about > whether people are doing the work or not) hahahahaha > > I look forward to reading long winded emails talking about the work. > > I look forward to reading emails about people beliefs. > > Yours, > Self righteously :0) > Candace > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Laurie, Candace's piece of work was about her and her relationship to her own thinking..We can't avoid doing things that other people will judge/project on..that's what they do..that's what we all do... " People are judging you for veering off.. " Is it true? I either do the work or I don't - I either get lost in my head/philosophy or I don't - It's never worked for me to " try " to be different in that regard... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 I don't take it as just judging me solely...but since the subject arose I wanted to mention it, AND I did participate in the off topic conversations. If others feel or think we really need/should or whatever stick to simply " the work " I will respect that. I understand they did the work for them but it appeared that several had that thought and maybe this group was intended for solely that purpose. When is doing the work with someone and they get off the subject, she brings them back in. If we are getting off subject in this group, I was just letting anyone/everyone know you can bring me back in...I am not going to fight it or judge it. I'm okay with it. Thanks . Laurie Re: too much talking > Laurie, > Candace's piece of work was about her and her relationship to her own > thinking..We can't avoid doing things that other people will judge/project > on..that's what they do..that's what we all do... > > " People are judging you for veering off.. " > Is it true? > > I either do the work or I don't - I either get lost in my head/philosophy or > I don't - It's never worked for me to " try " to be different in that > regard... > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Thank you Candace so much for posting that. My words/my Work exactly a few weeks ago, though I had not the courage to post it. Instead I unsubscribed from the individual emails. This one was seeing a lot of seeking love-approval-appreciation in the posters. I realized it made me angry. I also had: " People shouldn't waste my time " --as though this group is all for me! Interesting that what I got to when I inquired on posting my Work on it was " Why post at all? Want do I get for posting? " I found out in my turnarounds that posting for me means seeking LAA - the VERY thing I was so angry about. So I don't post. I am silent. Unheard. Invisible. Today I realize how perfectly this payoff fits my childhood story. Its tricky and confusing. To post or not to post? Who do we post for - ourselves or others? Do we post because we want something? So what, we are human. Who would I be without the story I shouldn't post? Someone seeking LAA, until I'm not. A life's work. Now, without my story, I scroll through the messages, sift through the concepts, knowing I will read what I need to read, miss what I need to miss. I am willing / I look forward to reading the philosophizing, LAA seeking, superficial mumbo-jumbo because it is there in front of me (reality) until its not. And in this way, it IS all for me. We are not separate. And noticing what is in front of me is NEVER a waste of time. Today, however, I also realize that rather than attaching to my story of being silent/unheard/invisible, it is O.K. to take action and ask for what I want. I would therefore like to ask that this Yahoo group be more focused on The Work of Byron and less focused on philosophies and debates about concepts. When the message is not about The Work and not related to what someone else's Work brings up for us, (i.e. when we feel the need to express agreement or appreciation of what they've read), rather than responding publicly (to the whole group), may I suggest that we respond privately (to the individual's email)? In my vision this would strengthen rather than dilute the group. Who am I? Nobody-Somebody. Love to all, B. > I've been scrolling and reading and scrolling and not reading for several > months now. > > Lots of judgements about words. Too many words. Too much talk about The > Work. Too little doing of the work. Too many ideologies.... too much to > sift through. > > Today I scrolled down without reading one single posting and finally: > > People should be using the yahoo group for doing The Work. I'm disappointed > that more is not being brought into inquiry. People talk too much. People > are talking about this as a process instead of actually inquiring. People > should stick to the questions instead of philosophizing (to speculate in a > superficial or imprecise manner) about the work. I don't want to read long > winded emails talking about the work. I don't want to read emails about > people beliefs. > > **People should be using the yahoo group for doing The Work. > > Is it true. Self righteously she says yes but in going deeper.....no, of > course I can't know that for sure. > > How do I react/feel when I believe that thought? > righteous > superiour > I don't join in > I feel like I'm missing something > disappointed > judgemental > separate > i'm a kid standing on the outside looking in > > Can I think of a stress free reason to keep the thought? No. > > Who would I be without the thought? > Woman sitting in chair looking at (little black marks on the screen) > hmmmmm. > > **More should be brought to inquiry. > > Is that true? I can't know that's true. > > How do I react/feel when I believe the thought? > disappointed > think i'm missing something > needy > in everyone else's business > separate > > Stress free reason to keep the thought? none > > Who would I be without that thought? receptive, peaceful open sitting on > chair > > **People talk too much. > > Is it true. I often have that judgement and sometimes I wish it were true > but no I can't know that for sure. > > How do I react/feel when I believe that thought? > don't listen > scroll through > disregard > tune out > afraid to join in > frustrated > judge substance of words > righteous > > Stress free reason to keep the thought? None > > Who would I be without the thought? quiet inside no resistance to words > > **People are talking about this as a process instead of actually inquiring. > > Is that true. That's how it appears to this one but I can't really know > that's true. > > How do I react/feel when I believe the thought? > disregard postings > stay separate > judgemental > righteous > lonely > > Stress free reason to keep the thought? None > > Who would I be without the thought? More open....more curious......less > separate > > **People should stick to the questions instead of philosophizing about the > work. > > Is it true. In this one's righteous mind it feels true but of course I > can't know that for sure. > > (I'm laughing at this one right now) > > How do I react/feel when I believe the thought? > task master > righteous > feel like God > controlling > > Who would I be without the thought? bubbling laughter.....lightness woman > sitting on chair > > Turnarounds: I should be using the yahoo group for doing the work. People > shouldn't be using the yahoo group for doing the work (unless they are) > > More shouldn't be brought into inquiry (unless it is) Nothing should be > brought into inquiry (unless it is) > > People don't talk too much. I talk too much (just as true) I don't talk > too much. > > I'm talking about inquiry as a process instead of inquiring (sometimes > that's true) > > I should stick to the questions instead of philosophizing (especially about > whether people are doing the work or not) hahahahaha > > I look forward to reading long winded emails talking about the work. > > I look forward to reading emails about people beliefs. > > Yours, > Self righteously :0) > Candace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Gerry, Cool to see you online. Your work brought to mind some ways I've been playing with questions 1 and 2 since seeing do something similar in Asheville last month.. When I do inquiry with a should or shouldn't that is really tough to see as untrue I ask myself this variation or subquestion of #2 Can I really know - I ask my self which seems more true - which seems truer or which one do I feel less argument within myself as I say it a) it should(n't) be that way or it is this way So in your worksheet I'd ask look at a) Priests shouldnt molest young boys Priests do molest young boys (sometimes) For me I can more easily see that it's more true to say that they do molest boys sometimes than it is to that they shouldn't - By asking the question that way, I don't get stuck on trying to believe the opposite of what I wrote on my worksheet...Also, it's really clarifying to feel the peace of recognizing that I feel less argument within myself when I say "Priests do molest young boys" vs. "Priest shouldn't molest young boys" - I also like that i don't get stuck thinking asking the 1st 2 questions are about negating ethics or morality.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Welcome Gerry, 'I contract around an ancient story of resenting how the Church distorted my life, especially around the subject of sex' I suspect this is why you are being triggered strongly. It might be helpful to explore that in depth - The Church distorted my life - is it true? Good luck, Margaret > Hello All- > I've just started keeping up with this group. Nice to see some familiar > names. hi and Carol. I've been shy about posting mostly because of > mild paranoia regarding the attention seeking aspect. I wonder if I could > just ask for a rousing standing ovation and get that piece behind us. I > thank you in advance. > > After a number of worksheets on very petty shallow issues I find myself > really rattled by the pedophilia scandal in the Catholic Church. Igrew up in > the church and attended catholic schools. I'm angry at the church hierarchy > for perpetrating such enormous hypocrisy by tolerating and concealing sexual > abuse of young children while preaching a stringent puritanical sexual code > to me. The inquiry goes... priests shouldn't molest young boys... is it > true? I can see the reality is that they do. AT this point, though, I can't > hear " priests should molest young boys " and have it sound true. So, yes... > it's true. How do I react? I get really pissed off, outraged, resentful, and > I contract around an ancient story of resenting how the church distorted my > life, especially around the subject of sex. I can see a reason to drop the > story that priests shouldn't molest boys but I am really stuck here. Who > would I be without the story? I would observe the story about priests with > some equanimity. I could see the suffering of both perpitrator and victim. I > could be available to both and could extend some compassion to both. When I > get here I can feel some real movement around this story. Turnaround. The > obvious one is priests should molest young boys. That one still packs some > charge but much less than before. I can begin to see it. The other one... I > should not molest priests with my resentful thinking about them. That one > rings 100% true. > > Thanks again for the round of applause. > > Gerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Hello All- I've just started keeping up with this group. Nice to see some familiar names. hi and Carol. I've been shy about posting mostly because of mild paranoia regarding the attention seeking aspect. I wonder if I could just ask for a rousing standing ovation and get that piece behind us. I thank you in advance. After a number of worksheets on very petty shallow issues I find myself really rattled by the pedophilia scandal in the Catholic Church. Igrew up in the church and attended catholic schools. I'm angry at the church hierarchy for perpetrating such enormous hypocrisy by tolerating and concealing sexual abuse of young children while preaching a stringent puritanical sexual code to me. The inquiry goes... priests shouldn't molest young boys... is it true? I can see the reality is that they do. AT this point, though, I can't hear " priests should molest young boys " and have it sound true. So, yes... it's true. How do I react? I get really pissed off, outraged, resentful, and I contract around an ancient story of resenting how the church distorted my life, especially around the subject of sex. I can see a reason to drop the story that priests shouldn't molest boys but I am really stuck here. Who would I be without the story? I would observe the story about priests with some equanimity. I could see the suffering of both perpitrator and victim. I could be available to both and could extend some compassion to both. When I get here I can feel some real movement around this story. Turnaround. The obvious one is priests should molest young boys. That one still packs some charge but much less than before. I can begin to see it. The other one... I should not molest priests with my resentful thinking about them. That one rings 100% true. Thanks again for the round of applause. Gerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 What is LAA? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 That helped a lot, . Thank you. The other part of my attachment to this strory, besides the anger over the suffering caused... is that I am thrilled out of my head that it is all coming to light. If I let go of the anger part I lose a lot of the thrill part. I'm convinced that one cannot do this work sincerely and not lose the story.... unless one just can't or won't lose the story. There is a way in which I am getting too much mileage out of this to let it out of my grasp. I loved finding that. Puts me toe to toe with the question: do I want to be right or free? Gerry on 4/22/02 6:21 PM, Adler at brianadler@... wrote: Gerry, Cool to see you online. Your work brought to mind some ways I've been playing with questions 1 and 2 since seeing do something similar in Asheville last month.. When I do inquiry with a should or shouldn't that is really tough to see as untrue I ask myself this variation or subquestion of #2 Can I really know - I ask my self which seems more true - which seems truer or which one do I feel less argument within myself as I say it a) it should(n't) be that way or it is this way So in your worksheet I'd ask look at a) Priests shouldnt molest young boys Priests do molest young boys (sometimes) For me I can more easily see that it's more true to say that they do molest boys sometimes than it is to that they shouldn't - By asking the question that way, I don't get stuck on trying to believe the opposite of what I wrote on my worksheet...Also, it's really clarifying to feel the peace of recognizing that I feel less argument within myself when I say " Priests do molest young boys " vs. " Priest shouldn't molest young boys " - I also like that i don't get stuck thinking asking the 1st 2 questions are about negating ethics or morality.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 >From now on, I will try to just write about the > work. From what I have seen going on in the past, I've seen loose lines in > this group and just figured it was okay to veer off a bit from just the > work. Converse, get to know, hear other's take on things, ask questions. > It just never occurred to me that some of the conversations were off topic, > offensive, or taboo or inappropriate (or whatever you want to call it). > Naybe because they're not any of those things. I don't recall any strict guidelines about what gets discussed here and how we are to discuss it. There are over 200 people on this listserver. Perhaps 6 have voiced their opinion of Candace's post. That's not exactly a majority rule. What can be off-topic in this forum? The Work is about our thinking about our lives. What we think often leads us to very valuable self-inquiry. I like that if someone wants to ask a question they're free to do so and someone else is free to answer. And someone else is free to have feelings about that, and do a piece about it. And everyone's free to skip over what they don't wish to read. I don't see a problem. And at the same time I am happy for Candace's reminder that we can use this forum to do The Work. I'll enjoy seeing more of that...and not necessarily to the exclusion of anything els Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2002 Report Share Posted April 22, 2002 Thank you for this. I'm was lost here for a moment I wrote my response to . Can I safely assume that the first rule is there are no rules...eh? I simply want to respect and abide by any guidelines for this group. Some groups are very strict about following on topic. I usually unsubscribe if they get too anal about it. I don't want to play like that. I do groups for pleasure and/or learning. If I can't handle the heat, I get out of the kitchen. in appreciation, Laurie Re: too much talking > > > >From now on, I will try to just write about the > > work. From what I have seen going on in the past, I've seen loose > lines in > > this group and just figured it was okay to veer off a bit from just > the > > work. Converse, get to know, hear other's take on things, ask > questions. > > It just never occurred to me that some of the conversations were > off topic, > > offensive, or taboo or inappropriate (or whatever you want to call > it). > > > > Naybe because they're not any of those things. I don't recall any > strict guidelines about what gets discussed here and how we are to > discuss it. > > There are over 200 people on this listserver. Perhaps 6 have voiced > their opinion of Candace's post. That's not exactly a majority rule. > > What can be off-topic in this forum? The Work is about our thinking > about our lives. What we think often leads us to very valuable > self-inquiry. > > I like that if someone wants to ask a question they're free to do so > and someone else is free to answer. And someone else is free to have > feelings about that, and do a piece about it. And everyone's free to > skip over what they don't wish to read. > > I don't see a problem. And at the same time I am happy for Candace's > reminder that we can use this forum to do The Work. I'll enjoy seeing > more of that...and not necessarily to the exclusion of anything els > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 23, 2002 Report Share Posted April 23, 2002 on 4/22/02 6:41 PM, madodeane at madodeane@... wrote: Welcome Gerry, 'I contract around an ancient story of resenting how the Church distorted my life, especially around the subject of sex' I suspect this is why you are being triggered strongly. It might be helpful to explore that in depth - The Church distorted my life - is it true? Good luck, Margaret Margaret, Thank you thank thank you. I didn't see it before. When I reread my post I also found some very juicy turnarounds regarding hypocrisy and concealing sexual abuse. Thanks for helping me go a little deeper. Gerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 23, 2002 Report Share Posted April 23, 2002 pashyantnick (before she got cut off) wrote: What can be off-topic in this forum? The Work is about our thinking about our lives. What we think often leads us to very valuable self-inquiry. I like that if someone wants to ask a question they're free to do so and someone else is free to answer. And someone else is free to have feelings about that, and do a piece about it. And everyone's free to skip over what they don't wish to read. I don't see a problem. And at the same time I am happy for Candace's reminder that we can use this forum to do The Work. I'll enjoy seeing more of that...and not necessarily to the exclusion of anything els I'll second that. Dear Laurie, please don't be distressed. I love your questions. (In fact I'm still pondering some replies.) And Carol is surely right - there is nothing off-topic. As I see it, the only thing I have to watch in this is the motive for writing. Is it to promote my self-image? Seem clever, or better still cleverer, more loving, more understanding etc. etc. than other people? If so, best shut up, Katharine. (And I don't have to agonise over this - I know right away.) But if it's a simple response, or to share a discovery, or ask for help, then my heart tells me - this is OK, go ahead. At the same time I do enormously appreciate it when people do The Work here, and it seems like a precious gift to have this place in cyberspace to meet in honesty and integrity. Love to all, Katharine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 24, 2002 Report Share Posted April 24, 2002 Candace, I read this and was truly amazed at the detail of thought you got out of this. When I do the work, I have trouble getting to this inside me. I'm glad you shared this because it gives me something more to find and work with inside myself. Thanks, Laurie too much talking > Hi everyone, > > I had a thought this morning that some are taking the piece of work on " my " > mind very seriously.....(turnaround) sometimes I take my thoughts very > seriously. Usually until I do the work. > > Just because I had a thought does not mean it's true but until I inquire I > act as if it is. > > This inquiry started off for me with a realization that I felt separate from > the group and the thought that kept coming up was, " People should be using > the yahoo group to do the work " . The most obvious turnaround for that > was..... " I should be using the yahoo group to do the work " and there began > the piece that I shared. > > Someone mentioned something like......Candace's reminder........it could be > a reminder if taken that way and possibly that was my motive. I'm not sure > but I do know that just because I have a thought or judgement doesn't mean > it's true. > > What I can see more clearly now than before is that no one can do or say > anything wrong here. (turnaround: I can't say or do anything wrong here) > > I love the attention (is that true) and I watch myself scrolling down now > for more responses to my email. I notice a certain reaction to " things > being stirred up " and I kind of like it. I notice a little feeling here and > there about being responsible for how others interpret what I say. I have a > thought here and there about what people think of me or what I said and I'm > happy because finally I feel more connected to this group. > > What I notice is that it always seems to come down to me. Totally and > absolutely self-centered. Women in chair sitting here smiling loving me > loving you. Loving this. > > Candace > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2002 Report Share Posted May 4, 2002 Hi e, I'm very, very new to this, only beginning baby steps. But, something that struck me in your post was your feeling that if you find a "bigger lie" you will be "totally crushed". Is that really true for you? Blessings, Fern Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2002 Report Share Posted May 4, 2002 I have been reading your emails for months and I am sending on eow because I am having trouble cracking one big story for me. When I suspect people are hiding something from me, i always find clues that lead me to the lie and the I go mad because they lied to me when I have spoken to them that they have to be true to me. this drives me insane! So I have tried to do the work but I can' t seem toget it to the heart or i am not true doing it and avoiding the issue. People should not lie to me especially when they know i value truth! Can i really know that its true? No some people lie sometimes. How do I react when I think the thought people should lie to me. I feel bretrayed, I feel they don't respect my values and integrity, i hate them and i want them out of my life because i can't trust them to be close to me in case I find out some bigger lie and I will be left totally crushed! No I can't find one could reason to keep the story that is not stressfull but I am still raging! Turn around My thinking shoudn't lie to me especially when I value truth! Yes, i get it, it keeps me from being free, I put my value on them and my integrity too. How stupid! How can other people value and respect me when i am out there in their business puting my own worth on them not telling lies! I will try to deepen this story further on my own and maybe you have different input on this! Welcoming your answers e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2002 Report Share Posted May 4, 2002 why is it true that they need to be honest with you? Even if you have told them to do so? what's the reality-- they are NOT being honest. OK Now you need to be honest and accept their dis- honesty. Only then can you overcome your discomfort. > I have been reading your emails for months and I am sending on eow because I am having trouble cracking one big story for me. > > When I suspect people are hiding something from me, i always find clues that lead me to the lie and the I go mad because they lied to me when I have spoken to them that they have to be true to me. this drives me insane! So I have tried to do the work but I can' t seem toget it to the heart or i am not true doing it and avoiding the issue. > > People should not lie to me especially when they know i value truth! > Can i really know that its true? No some people lie sometimes. > > How do I react when I think the thought people should lie to me. I feel bretrayed, I feel they don't respect my values and integrity, i hate them and i want them out of my life because i can't trust them to be close to me in case I find out some bigger lie and I will be left totally crushed! > > No I can't find one could reason to keep the story that is not stressfull but I am still raging! > Turn around > My thinking shoudn't lie to me especially when I value truth! Yes, i get it, it keeps me from being free, I put my value on them and my integrity too. How stupid! How can other people value and respect me when i am out there in their business puting my own worth on them not telling lies! > > I will try to deepen this story further on my own and maybe you have different input on this! > > Welcoming your answers > > > e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2002 Report Share Posted May 4, 2002 " martinefordham " wrote: >I will try to deepen this story further on my own and maybe you have different input on this! > >Welcoming your answers >e why is " truth " more important then loving what is? steve __________________________________________________________________ Your favorite stores, helpful shopping tools and great gift ideas. Experience the convenience of buying online with Shop@Netscape! http://shopnow.netscape.com/ Get your own FREE, personal Netscape Mail account today at http://webmail.netscape.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2002 Report Share Posted May 5, 2002 e, I think the truth is different for everyone. Maybe lies don't really exist. After all they are just someones story. which will be different from your story. Is the issue really the lie or is it some other issue with that person. Re: too much talking I have been reading your emails for months and I am sending on eow because I am having trouble cracking one big story for me. When I suspect people are hiding something from me, i always find clues that lead me to the lie and the I go mad because they lied to me when I have spoken to them that they have to be true to me. this drives me insane! So I have tried to do the work but I can' t seem toget it to the heart or i am not true doing it and avoiding the issue. People should not lie to me especially when they know i value truth! Can i really know that its true? No some people lie sometimes. How do I react when I think the thought people should lie to me. I feel bretrayed, I feel they don't respect my values and integrity, i hate them and i want them out of my life because i can't trust them to be close to me in case I find out some bigger lie and I will be left totally crushed! No I can't find one could reason to keep the story that is not stressfull but I am still raging! Turn around My thinking shoudn't lie to me especially when I value truth! Yes, i get it, it keeps me from being free, I put my value on them and my integrity too. How stupid! How can other people value and respect me when i am out there in their business puting my own worth on them not telling lies! I will try to deepen this story further on my own and maybe you have different input on this! Welcoming your answers e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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