Guest guest Posted January 1, 2000 Report Share Posted January 1, 2000 this thing appears too much like a hoax help dear friend I ask you to read this letter till the end! Don't treat to my words with indifferens. On Your understanding it will depend my fate and the fate of my child! Also my need to write this because funds don't help individuals 501©(3) <<clipped>> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2002 Report Share Posted June 7, 2002 Dear , I understand your concern about this decision making.No doubt it appears hugely important to you right now. My thought is that you can't make a wrong decision. Wherever you end up on the other side of this decision is exactly where you are supposed to be. No accidents. No mistakes. Your learning continues there and you are always in the place where your highest learning can occur. No matter which way you go, finally there are only beliefs to be investigated. I find it helpful to pray to be shown the way. It gives me a feeling of surrendering to my highest good, because I can't know what that's supposed to look like. Of course you have investment in certain outcomes - this is part of the angst - this is the journey, letting go of our investment. As to dropping a chunk of stories in one swoop, I think that's entirely possible. We sometimes do the Work on some core belief and other beliefs fall away. However, my experience is that it is a gradual process of undoing - at least for me and others I have contact with. I am willing to do the Work with you today or any time over the phone. I charge for my time. You can email me privately if you'd like that. Much love, Margaret > > Hi folks, > I have to make a momentous decision today. I was recently introduced to the work and would like to use it get clarity on this decision. Iss it possible to work through a bunch of stories quickly? Is anyone willing to facilitate this for me, perhaps via an online chat session? I am not very effective with this process by myself, yet. It takes a long time, and I am left dissatisfied with the results. > Warm regards, > > > > > --------------------------------- > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2002 Report Share Posted June 7, 2002 Dear anna, You ask if doing this work brings up more stress. I think any serious spiritual path we embark on will bring up everything we have managed to keep down and buried before. It has to come to the surface to be seen, investigated and released. It sounds to me like you are in a great place, with lots surfacing. Of course it feels terrible - that's why we buried it in order to survive and keep going. In the files there is a great article about depression, seeing it in a new light -it could be very comforting for you to read that these times. " Is it that I was such a people pleaser for so many years that I did not even know what I wanted " ? The fact that you ask that suggests it is true for you. Welcome to the Recovering People Pleasers Club. I am the President. I wore myself to a thread taking care of my late husband for over four years because I was afraid the world/I would see me as selfish. It's OK not to know what you want. It's OK to be scared of going out in the world. Is it true I shouldn't be scared? What is the reality? I'm scared. The fear will leave you - everything comes to pass and not to stay. Your job right now is to be with the fear - making room for it, allowing it to be there, giving it a home - it's been pushed out in the cold for a long time and it's longing to come home. This satsang teacher, Adyashanti, says " Illusions are dying to open " . And they open by being welcomed, not by being pushed away which is what we've always done. What's that expression about if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten. Take care, Margaret -- In Loving-what-is@y..., " anna K.Tracey " <maturner@u...> wrote: > Dear group...I have read that doing this work brings up more stress...is that true for everyone?I did it for a concentrated time and now I find myself in a deeper depression,I have been doing several types of what I call release work for 2-3 yrs.my Mother has recently died..she was 91 yrs old,now that she is gone I have found that she was an excuse to keep me bound to the house,now I have no excuse and I am still bound to the house.I have kept myself busy getting rid of things...she was a pack rat,I am overwhelmed by the work I have to do,which reminds me of Kts socks.I hate houseworkit is six months since my Mom died.This is the > first time I have felt aoooooooo depressed is it the work > or is it that I was such a people pleaser for so many years > that I did not even know what I wanted and now faced with this I am totally FRIGHTENED she was the reason I stayed home.Now I have no reason.I am totally scares will this go away.It is my job to release these feelings from others,,,I do Rieki and other energy stuff what do ypu suggest I work on now going to NYC is not an optiion. > anna > who defines morality? > > > <pastortomiowa@y...> wrote: > > >If I do the work properly, will I come to see Bill as my friend and see what he did for me as a favor--something that has led me into a better future than the one I was heading for? Will I welcome the opportunity to get together with him again on a Sunday afternoon and drink a cold one? > >Any thoughts or insights would be welcomed! Thanks again. > > > > i have a best friend, who has been my closest lifetime friend for 45 years. > about 15 years ago, he disrespected me for motives i did not respect, and i refused to talk to him for a year and a half, maybe 2 years. > we and all of our mutual friends laugh about this, and some others will also bring up stories about how stubborn i can be, i also would not talk to my brother for 3 years, and a guy at work for a couple. > it is clearly a weakness of mine that lead to this way of dealing with emotional problems, it is how i had learned to deal with my oppressive overly authoritative father. > it is not a strategy a healthy balanced enlightened person would use, but in each of those situations it was the best that i could do, or so i thought at those times, and so it is what i chose. > down the road i see with love , empathy, and understanding my own weakness, my immature way of dealing with these emotional difficulties. i see myself and my patterns more clearly in the present illustrated by these way that i was at those times. > so it is not that i condone those ways for me now, but in allowing a strong point of view in my own expression, allowing myself to combat all ideas and morality, and choosing to deal with these situations in the way that i did, to allow a less destructive version of anger then i had had in situations previous to these, there were things that came about that were good for me. > primarily two things i can think of, one is the view of these situations as stories about me, for me to understand, and the second is that my honest expression of anger, resentment, disappointment, did communicate to these others, that they had stepped over a line that was not acceptable to me. > i defined my limits in this way, because i had problems defining my limits, but i did define my limits, and those with whom i do have healthy relationships in the present learned along with me, what they were. > it was probably not a text book manner of behavior to prescribe to any one, but by allowing the honest expression of what was true for me, to the best degree, in the best way that i could at the time, did lead to good honest loving situations later. ones that i have no regrets about. there is no thing that i hold onto in resenment, i think because i did some how allow the expression of my hurt, and non agreement with the choices they had made in relation to me. > steve > > > __________________________________________________________________ > Your favorite stores, helpful shopping tools and great gift ideas. Experience the convenience of buying online with Shop@Netscape! http://shopnow.netscape.com/ > > Get your own FREE, personal Netscape Mail account today at http://webmail.netscape.com/ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2002 Report Share Posted June 7, 2002 Thank you , and that is your story of me. Smile. Re: Re: Help , I have real feedback for you now that is really for you... I see you as someone who claims to be honest with himself (and others) because you like that story about yourself but that you are actually afraid to take a look...Or I see as you as someone who is afraid to admit you have petty or manipulative motivations...I hope that's helpful.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2002 Report Share Posted June 7, 2002 I will definately look . Thanks, I love it when you tell me these things. Re: Re: Help ps..Let me know if you can find that or not...I can for sure especially in how I relate to my wife... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2002 Report Share Posted June 7, 2002 "Thank you , and that is your story of me. Smile" I am so appreciative you reminded me of this ...LOL I haven't even met you (and even if I had, all I'd have is my story of you)...I feel so light remembering this... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 8, 2002 Report Share Posted June 8, 2002 > , I have real feedback for you now that is really for you... I see you as someone who claims to be honest with himself (and others) because you like that story about yourself but that you are actually afraid to take a look...Or I see as you as someone who is afraid to admit you have petty or manipulative motivations...I hope that's helpful.... I had to laugh here . I'm wanting to ask, has this technique of helping others to see their inauthenticity ever worked out well for you? And I'm not laughing at you. It's just funny sometimes the things we do or see when we're looking out from behind our eyes. I'm equal to that. Do I hear a belief that it's not ok, or desirable to come from dishonesty and being afraid to take a look? 'Cause there are things that I'm afraid to take a look at. I can't tell you what they are at the moment. I'M AFRAID TO LOOK AT THEM. So they remain in the territory of things I don't know that I don't know. And I'm dishonest about it too. And you know what, I absolutely need that dishonesty, until I reach a time when I don't. Just like you need to believe that being a dishonest coward is bad... until you don't. And, I saw your other email where you copped to having a story about . Well done. Love, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 8, 2002 Report Share Posted June 8, 2002 Dear ones, Yes, I had to make a decision, maybe not yesterday, but within a few hours. I will be offline in a few hours, perhaps " permanently. " Basically, the decision to be made is whether to go to another state, where there is a warrant for my arrest, and turn myself in. Court actions from afar have already rendered me homeless and jobless, and I am rapidly becoming penniless. Jail for the next three months will probably be preferable to the street, and homeless shelters, for the same period. I have been seeking another solution. The court wants money that I do not have, and have not been able to earn. I have been seeking a better-paying job, but am running out of time. (Yes, that is true.) I can stay in the area where I'm presently located, licing on borrowed money, and keep seeking a solution via employment for another month or two, or go ahead and bite the bullet, putting myself in the not-so- loving hands of the state. If I can show good faith to the state, perhaps I can use that borrowed money to re-establish myself after getting out of jail. Perhaps. There are no guarantees in any of this, which is part of what makes the decision difficult. I have done the work on my assumptions about going to jail, and it has defused my terror and horror of going there, and of being homeless and jobless in the aftermath. I have not spent time in jail in my past, nor have I been homeless and jobless. (I have been homeless, and I have been jobless, but never both at the same time and combined with penniless.) Those are situations that most of us would prefer to avoid. Still, I suppose I can deal with them, if necessary. You can probably imagine how painful it is for me to deal with all of this. In case you are wondering why I am wanted, it is for non-payment of child support. I lost a very good income as a result of psychological, emotional, and spiritual turmoil, five years of treatment for depression and anxiety being the tip of the iceberg, and when I began to recover and stabilize my life, my ex-wife sued me for child support enforcement. The measures the court is using to try to force me to do the impossible are destroying my life. Love and regards, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 please take me out of the group, it is too many emails for me, thanks who defines morality?> > > <pastortomiowa@y...> wrote:> > >If I do the work properly, will I come to see Bill as my friend and see what he did for me as a favor--something that has led me into a better future than the one I was heading for? Will I welcome the opportunity to get together with him again on a Sunday afternoon and drink a cold one?> >Any thoughts or insights would be welcomed! Thanks again.> >> > i have a best friend, who has been my closest lifetime friend for 45 years.> about 15 years ago, he disrespected me for motives i did not respect, and i refused to talk to him for a year and a half, maybe 2 years. > we and all of our mutual friends laugh about this, and some others will also bring up stories about how stubborn i can be, i also would not talk to my brother for 3 years, and a guy at work for a couple.> it is clearly a weakness of mine that lead to this way of dealing with emotional problems, it is how i had learned to deal with my oppressive overly authoritative father.> it is not a strategy a healthy balanced enlightened person would use, but in each of those situations it was the best that i could do, or so i thought at those times, and so it is what i chose.> down the road i see with love , empathy, and understanding my own weakness, my immature way of dealing with these emotional difficulties. i see myself and my patterns more clearly in the present illustrated by these way that i was at those times.> so it is not that i condone those ways for me now, but in allowing a strong point of view in my own expression, allowing myself to combat all ideas and morality, and choosing to deal with these situations in the way that i did, to allow a less destructive version of anger then i had had in situations previous to these, there were things that came about that were good for me.> primarily two things i can think of, one is the view of these situations as stories about me, for me to understand, and the second is that my honest expression of anger, resentment, disappointment, did communicate to these others, that they had stepped over a line that was not acceptable to me.> i defined my limits in this way, because i had problems defining my limits, but i did define my limits, and those with whom i do have healthy relationships in the present learned along with me, what they were.> it was probably not a text book manner of behavior to prescribe to any one, but by allowing the honest expression of what was true for me, to the best degree, in the best way that i could at the time, did lead to good honest loving situations later. ones that i have no regrets about. there is no thing that i hold onto in resenment, i think because i did some how allow the expression of my hurt, and non agreement with the choices they had made in relation to me.> steve> > > __________________________________________________________________> Your favorite stores, helpful shopping tools and great gift ideas. Experience the convenience of buying online with Shop@Netscape! http://shopnow.netscape.com/> > Get your own FREE, personal Netscape Mail account today at http://webmail.netscape.com/> > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 Hey ! I clicked and dragged on your all-black screen from the Yahoo board. It highlighted blue for reading. Invisible ink indeed! Jocelyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 , I really have no interest in pursuing this. I am sorry you felt offended, no offense was meant. Re: Re: Help "Thank you , and that is your story of me. Smile" I am so appreciative you reminded me of this ...LOL I haven't even met you (and even if I had, all I'd have is my story of you)...I feel so light remembering this... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 ", I really have no interest in pursuing this. I am sorry you felt offended, no offense was meant. " , it's resolved already in my mind...You previous post helped me see that I was just relating to my own thinking and not to you....I stopped being offended when I saw that, when you last responded on Friday... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 , This is what the black screen email from me says: ", I really have no interest in pursuing this. I am sorry you felt offended, no offense was meant. " , it's resolved already in my mind...You previous post helped me see that I was just relating to my own thinking and not to you....I stopped being offended when I saw that, when you last responded on Friday... The all black message was a mistake..Sorry for the confusion... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2002 Report Share Posted July 9, 2002 Hi ) Not shallow at all, but brutally honest and very courageous... good for you! It sounds like your inquiry rewarded you with your truth. You know that envy is your issue... its true, its absolutely true )? How does holding that thought make you feel? Shallow? Who would you be without that thought? I WOULD be someone who is satisfied and content with what I have, and be happy for her. Turn it around... I am only envious of other's lives because of my own disatisfaction with my own, or maybe... I am unhappy with me because not having what everyone else does, makes me feel less than I perceive them to be, or maybe... my perception of success is based on societies measure instead of my own, or maybe... I am jealous because I don't have the courage or discipline to create the life I want. I'm not suggesting that these turn arounds honor your truth... they are only examples to help you see all the possibilities. Don't know if that helped at all, but my heart is in the right place ;o). Blessings, Sandi > Hi everyone, > > wondering if someone could give me some suggestions - I'm stuck and can't > quite figure out how to do the work with something... > > the " something " is being jealous. constantly, perpetually jealous. no matter > what I have, or how much I have, I always invariably look at others and wish > I had what they have. > > I just met a woman who I'm very envious of...she doesn't anger, annoy me or > disappoint me. > > She is a lovely, sweet woman - it's her LIFE I'm envious of... > > She lives in an area I wish I could afford, she's got my dreamhouse my > husband and I can't afford, she's married to a very sweet, nice, handsome > man who makes a ton of money...her children seem relatively easy and she > actually has a 5 weeek old that sleeps through the night and my son who's > almost 2 still has trouble sleeping through the night...although she's had a > baby that's 5 weeks old this woman has a body to die for...she has the dog I > wish we had...need I go on? she has the very life I wish I had. how stupid > but this is me. it plagues me. > > I know how shallow this sounds. It is. I'm ashamed because I think of hos > much I have in contrast to others, I think of the people victimized by 9/11, > I think of the poor in Afghanistan and India etc and it just doesn't change > me. It's so embarrassing to admit but I feel I can admit it to you because > you're all doing the work on something...and it's tormented me for years. no > matter where I live, where I work, I always seem to meet people whose life I > envy. and I know this is my lesson in this lifetime, because as soon as I am > able to get away from these people and I think I won't be tormented by them > anymore, I ALWAYS meet someone else who takes their place! > > so here I am - I just met this woman and we had a " playdate " with our > children this morning. I knew I had to go home and do the work while my son > was down from his nap, but I'm stuck because I don't want this woman to > change, there's nothing she should or shouldn't do...I don't need anything > from her...it's more the JEALOUSY I need to work on and I'm not sure how to > do that. I have no idea what the turnaround would be. I wish I could be > satisfied and content with what I have and be happy for her. > > if anyone has any insight or suggestions I'd be most grateful. thanks so > much, > mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2002 Report Share Posted July 9, 2002 Dearest , Do I ever know this one? Envy is what keeps the blood pumping in my veins! It's getting easier so there's hope sweetheart. " I'm ashamed because I think of hos much I have in contrast to others, I think of the people victimized by 9/11, I think of the poor in Afghanistan and India etc and it just doesn't change me. " It never changed me either despite all the crap that's written about this strategy in self-help books. Waste of energy. When your mind goes there just drop it and get back to the real meat. She has the perfect life. Looks like it. Smells like it. Can you ABSOLUTELY know that's true? Can you know what's going on in her head? Perhaps she feels lack too or some other distress. Someone once said " the brighter the light, the darker the shadow " . Perhaps someday she'll share her shadow side with you - but that's neither here nor there. For me the best way to deal with jealousy is to answer honestly what I think these things will give me. I have been/am jealous of spiritual helpers so I'll take that as an example, just to illustrate a way of going at it for you. Being a spiritual helper - what do you think that will give you? More self-worth ,ease, peace, a sense of having arrived someplace, freedom from limitation around money. It will give you more self-worth - can you really know that's true? No. Success never gave me that before. Been there, done that. How do you live? In the future, not here with me now. Etc. Etc. Another question that helps me is: What do you really want? More illusionary self-worth or freedom and the peace of God? A sense of commitment to the truth usually settles in here. Play with it , . Love, Margaret Love, Margaret > Hi everyone, > > wondering if someone could give me some suggestions - I'm stuck and can't > quite figure out how to do the work with something... > > the " something " is being jealous. constantly, perpetually jealous. no matter > what I have, or how much I have, I always invariably look at others and wish > I had what they have. > > I just met a woman who I'm very envious of...she doesn't anger, annoy me or > disappoint me. > > She is a lovely, sweet woman - it's her LIFE I'm envious of... > > She lives in an area I wish I could afford, she's got my dreamhouse my > husband and I can't afford, she's married to a very sweet, nice, handsome > man who makes a ton of money...her children seem relatively easy and she > actually has a 5 weeek old that sleeps through the night and my son who's > almost 2 still has trouble sleeping through the night...although she's had a > baby that's 5 weeks old this woman has a body to die for...she has the dog I > wish we had...need I go on? she has the very life I wish I had. how stupid > but this is me. it plagues me. > > I know how shallow this sounds. It is. I'm ashamed because I think of hos > much I have in contrast to others, I think of the people victimized by 9/11, > I think of the poor in Afghanistan and India etc and it just doesn't change > me. It's so embarrassing to admit but I feel I can admit it to you because > you're all doing the work on something...and it's tormented me for years. no > matter where I live, where I work, I always seem to meet people whose life I > envy. and I know this is my lesson in this lifetime, because as soon as I am > able to get away from these people and I think I won't be tormented by them > anymore, I ALWAYS meet someone else who takes their place! > > so here I am - I just met this woman and we had a " playdate " with our > children this morning. I knew I had to go home and do the work while my son > was down from his nap, but I'm stuck because I don't want this woman to > change, there's nothing she should or shouldn't do...I don't need anything > from her...it's more the JEALOUSY I need to work on and I'm not sure how to > do that. I have no idea what the turnaround would be. I wish I could be > satisfied and content with what I have and be happy for her. > > if anyone has any insight or suggestions I'd be most grateful. thanks so > much, > mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2002 Report Share Posted July 10, 2002 > > m> Being a spiritual helper - what do you think that will give you? > m> More self-worth ,ease, peace, a sense of having arrived someplace, > m> freedom from limitation around money. > m> It will give you more self-worth - can you really know that's true? > m> No. Success never gave me that before. Been there, done that. > m> How do you live? In the future, not here with me now. > > I was that man! (Except it brought me almost *none* of the above). > Only helping myself spiritually (through doing The Work and other > practices) really helped me. Being a 'spiritual helper' was an > identity that I only recently came to inquire about and drop. > > It was largely a burden :-) > > -- > Love, > Tim > > PGP-key request: mailto:tim@t...?subject=pgptim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2002 Report Share Posted July 10, 2002 Hi Margaret, I just got to my emails...thank you so much for the beautiful reply. When you wrote: " What do you really want? More illusionary self-worth or freedom and the peace of God? A sense of commitment to the truth usually settles in here. " it really hit home. because my journey in this lifetime has been about just that, finding my freedom and the peace of God. That has been my priority, my focus, for the last...I'd say 20 years...although sometimes I wish it wasn't!! you know what I mean? It's as if I have to admit it to be true to myself, but there's always been this part of me that just wants to be shallow! and I'll experiment with it, but my truth never leaves me there without questioning it...sometimes I'd love to have what I fantacize would be a fabulous life where we have lots of money and life can be easier. But as I read your email something occurred to me. As has said, 'having' anything external, having the money and the husband, the house and the dog, is not the way to freedom and the peace of God. We all have peace whether we have one penny or millions. I think this is my lesson. I think this is why I always envy others and it never stops - it's because I don't know the truth yet. I need to get it, or else I'll keep being reminded by those " enviable " people...they'll keep coming at me as they have for years. dear Margaret...thank you to you and all who so generously and compassionately responded to my post. What a wonderful group this is. I have another playdate with miss jealousy next week, hopefully I'll be a little more understanding of the situation! xo Reply-To: Loving-what-is Date: Tue, 09 Jul 2002 22:00:22 -0000 To: Loving-what-is Subject: Re: Help Dearest , Do I ever know this one? Envy is what keeps the blood pumping in my veins! It's getting easier so there's hope sweetheart. " I'm ashamed because I think of hos much I have in contrast to others, I think of the people victimized by 9/11, I think of the poor in Afghanistan and India etc and it just doesn't change me. " It never changed me either despite all the crap that's written about this strategy in self-help books. Waste of energy. When your mind goes there just drop it and get back to the real meat. She has the perfect life. Looks like it. Smells like it. Can you ABSOLUTELY know that's true? Can you know what's going on in her head? Perhaps she feels lack too or some other distress. Someone once said " the brighter the light, the darker the shadow " . Perhaps someday she'll share her shadow side with you - but that's neither here nor there. For me the best way to deal with jealousy is to answer honestly what I think these things will give me. I have been/am jealous of spiritual helpers so I'll take that as an example, just to illustrate a way of going at it for you. Being a spiritual helper - what do you think that will give you? More self-worth ,ease, peace, a sense of having arrived someplace, freedom from limitation around money. It will give you more self-worth - can you really know that's true? No. Success never gave me that before. Been there, done that. How do you live? In the future, not here with me now. Etc. Etc. Another question that helps me is: What do you really want? More illusionary self-worth or freedom and the peace of God? A sense of commitment to the truth usually settles in here. Play with it , . Love, Margaret Love, Margaret > Hi everyone, > > wondering if someone could give me some suggestions - I'm stuck and can't > quite figure out how to do the work with something... > > the " something " is being jealous. constantly, perpetually jealous. no matter > what I have, or how much I have, I always invariably look at others and wish > I had what they have. > > I just met a woman who I'm very envious of...she doesn't anger, annoy me or > disappoint me. > > She is a lovely, sweet woman - it's her LIFE I'm envious of... > > She lives in an area I wish I could afford, she's got my dreamhouse my > husband and I can't afford, she's married to a very sweet, nice, handsome > man who makes a ton of money...her children seem relatively easy and she > actually has a 5 weeek old that sleeps through the night and my son who's > almost 2 still has trouble sleeping through the night...although she's had a > baby that's 5 weeks old this woman has a body to die for...she has the dog I > wish we had...need I go on? she has the very life I wish I had. how stupid > but this is me. it plagues me. > > I know how shallow this sounds. It is. I'm ashamed because I think of hos > much I have in contrast to others, I think of the people victimized by 9/11, > I think of the poor in Afghanistan and India etc and it just doesn't change > me. It's so embarrassing to admit but I feel I can admit it to you because > you're all doing the work on something...and it's tormented me for years. no > matter where I live, where I work, I always seem to meet people whose life I > envy. and I know this is my lesson in this lifetime, because as soon as I am > able to get away from these people and I think I won't be tormented by them > anymore, I ALWAYS meet someone else who takes their place! > > so here I am - I just met this woman and we had a " playdate " with our > children this morning. I knew I had to go home and do the work while my son > was down from his nap, but I'm stuck because I don't want this woman to > change, there's nothing she should or shouldn't do...I don't need anything > from her...it's more the JEALOUSY I need to work on and I'm not sure how to > do that. I have no idea what the turnaround would be. I wish I could be > satisfied and content with what I have and be happy for her. > > if anyone has any insight or suggestions I'd be most grateful. thanks so > much, > mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2002 Report Share Posted July 10, 2002 Hi Sandi.. I can't tell you how much your post as well as the others who responded to my cry for help has helped!!!! It has really got me thinking, and doing my work. not only was your heart in the right place (thank you again ) but so were your words. Reply-To: Loving-what-is Date: Tue, 09 Jul 2002 20:42:58 -0000 To: Loving-what-is Subject: Re: Help Hi ) Not shallow at all, but brutally honest and very courageous... good for you! It sounds like your inquiry rewarded you with your truth. You know that envy is your issue... its true, its absolutely true )? How does holding that thought make you feel? Shallow? Who would you be without that thought? I WOULD be someone who is satisfied and content with what I have, and be happy for her. Turn it around... I am only envious of other's lives because of my own disatisfaction with my own, or maybe... I am unhappy with me because not having what everyone else does, makes me feel less than I perceive them to be, or maybe... my perception of success is based on societies measure instead of my own, or maybe... I am jealous because I don't have the courage or discipline to create the life I want. I'm not suggesting that these turn arounds honor your truth... they are only examples to help you see all the possibilities. Don't know if that helped at all, but my heart is in the right place ;o). Blessings, Sandi > Hi everyone, > > wondering if someone could give me some suggestions - I'm stuck and can't > quite figure out how to do the work with something... > > the " something " is being jealous. constantly, perpetually jealous. no matter > what I have, or how much I have, I always invariably look at others and wish > I had what they have. > > I just met a woman who I'm very envious of...she doesn't anger, annoy me or > disappoint me. > > She is a lovely, sweet woman - it's her LIFE I'm envious of... > > She lives in an area I wish I could afford, she's got my dreamhouse my > husband and I can't afford, she's married to a very sweet, nice, handsome > man who makes a ton of money...her children seem relatively easy and she > actually has a 5 weeek old that sleeps through the night and my son who's > almost 2 still has trouble sleeping through the night...although she's had a > baby that's 5 weeks old this woman has a body to die for...she has the dog I > wish we had...need I go on? she has the very life I wish I had. how stupid > but this is me. it plagues me. > > I know how shallow this sounds. It is. I'm ashamed because I think of hos > much I have in contrast to others, I think of the people victimized by 9/11, > I think of the poor in Afghanistan and India etc and it just doesn't change > me. It's so embarrassing to admit but I feel I can admit it to you because > you're all doing the work on something...and it's tormented me for years. no > matter where I live, where I work, I always seem to meet people whose life I > envy. and I know this is my lesson in this lifetime, because as soon as I am > able to get away from these people and I think I won't be tormented by them > anymore, I ALWAYS meet someone else who takes their place! > > so here I am - I just met this woman and we had a " playdate " with our > children this morning. I knew I had to go home and do the work while my son > was down from his nap, but I'm stuck because I don't want this woman to > change, there's nothing she should or shouldn't do...I don't need anything > from her...it's more the JEALOUSY I need to work on and I'm not sure how to > do that. I have no idea what the turnaround would be. I wish I could be > satisfied and content with what I have and be happy for her. > > if anyone has any insight or suggestions I'd be most grateful. thanks so > much, > mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2002 Report Share Posted July 10, 2002 Hello I suggest: Is it true that you do not have that beautiful thing/child/woman you see outside yourself? My love, what you have is splendid! You see the good things of live. And you think it is not you/yours .... and is it true? I find this one an amazing realization! Walking threw the street, what ever you see ... it is in yóúr consciousness, you have that connection - nobody ells, you are the only one experiencing there, it is totally You with your beloved, it is even oneness in reality. You think: " I want that " ? Smile, you already have, in the same moment " . Is that a turne-around? Who is the owner of the taxi I am riding in? The organization or my the user? Who's garden? The man who is working in right now, or the rich man who is never at home? Who's child? The one who is walking with me right now, or the parents in the office? That's ownership in reality. :-)) Michiel > Hi everyone, > > wondering if someone could give me some suggestions - I'm stuck and can't > quite figure out how to do the work with something... > > the " something " is being jealous. constantly, perpetually jealous. no matter > what I have, or how much I have, I always invariably look at others and wish > I had what they have. > > I just met a woman who I'm very envious of...she doesn't anger, annoy me or > disappoint me. > > She is a lovely, sweet woman - it's her LIFE I'm envious of... > > She lives in an area I wish I could afford, she's got my dreamhouse my > husband and I can't afford, she's married to a very sweet, nice, handsome > man who makes a ton of money...her children seem relatively easy and she > actually has a 5 weeek old that sleeps through the night and my son who's > almost 2 still has trouble sleeping through the night...although she's had a > baby that's 5 weeks old this woman has a body to die for...she has the dog I > wish we had...need I go on? she has the very life I wish I had. how stupid > but this is me. it plagues me. > > I know how shallow this sounds. It is. I'm ashamed because I think of hos > much I have in contrast to others, I think of the people victimized by 9/11, > I think of the poor in Afghanistan and India etc and it just doesn't change > me. It's so embarrassing to admit but I feel I can admit it to you because > you're all doing the work on something...and it's tormented me for years. no > matter where I live, where I work, I always seem to meet people whose life I > envy. and I know this is my lesson in this lifetime, because as soon as I am > able to get away from these people and I think I won't be tormented by them > anymore, I ALWAYS meet someone else who takes their place! > > so here I am - I just met this woman and we had a " playdate " with our > children this morning. I knew I had to go home and do the work while my son > was down from his nap, but I'm stuck because I don't want this woman to > change, there's nothing she should or shouldn't do...I don't need anything > from her...it's more the JEALOUSY I need to work on and I'm not sure how to > do that. I have no idea what the turnaround would be. I wish I could be > satisfied and content with what I have and be happy for her. > > if anyone has any insight or suggestions I'd be most grateful. thanks so > much, > mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2002 Report Share Posted July 10, 2002 > " i don't know anything " sweeps through me. I can't >tell you how good that feels - it feels like giving up the >battle, the struggle to figure it all out, 'do with me >what You will'. That sounds so freeing and peaceful. Can I borrow that dream? Again, I'm continually amazed at the insights brought into this group. The insights, work, and honesty of others here help me so much, being the short-cutter that I am. Thank you, laurie o. -- Re: Help > > m> Being a spiritual helper - what do you think that will give you? > m> More self-worth ,ease, peace, a sense of having arrived someplace, > m> freedom from limitation around money. > m> It will give you more self-worth - can you really know that's true? > m> No. Success never gave me that before. Been there, done that. > m> How do you live? In the future, not here with me now. > > I was that man! (Except it brought me almost *none* of the above). > Only helping myself spiritually (through doing The Work and other > practices) really helped me. Being a 'spiritual helper' was an > identity that I only recently came to inquire about and drop. > > It was largely a burden :-) > > -- > Love, > Tim > > PGP-key request: mailto:tim@t...?subject=pgptim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2002 Report Share Posted July 11, 2002 Michiel, thank you for your post and I WISH I could feel this realization you know about me, that what I have is splendid, I am the only one experiencing here... you say You think: " I want that " ? Smile, you already have, in the same moment " ....how I would love to feel that... I wish I could know that with all my being but alas, it's what I'm trying to get to. thanks! mary Reply-To: Loving-what-is Date: Wed, 10 Jul 2002 21:32:15 -0000 To: Loving-what-is Subject: Re: Help Hello I suggest: Is it true that you do not have that beautiful thing/child/woman you see outside yourself? My love, what you have is splendid! You see the good things of live. And you think it is not you/yours .... and is it true? I find this one an amazing realization! Walking threw the street, what ever you see ... it is in yóúr consciousness, you have that connection - nobody ells, you are the only one experiencing there, it is totally You with your beloved, it is even oneness in reality. You think: " I want that " ? Smile, you already have, in the same moment " . Is that a turne-around? Who is the owner of the taxi I am riding in? The organization or my the user? Who's garden? The man who is working in right now, or the rich man who is never at home? Who's child? The one who is walking with me right now, or the parents in the office? That's ownership in reality. :-)) Michiel > Hi everyone, > > wondering if someone could give me some suggestions - I'm stuck and can't > quite figure out how to do the work with something... > > the " something " is being jealous. constantly, perpetually jealous. no matter > what I have, or how much I have, I always invariably look at others and wish > I had what they have. > > I just met a woman who I'm very envious of...she doesn't anger, annoy me or > disappoint me. > > She is a lovely, sweet woman - it's her LIFE I'm envious of... > > She lives in an area I wish I could afford, she's got my dreamhouse my > husband and I can't afford, she's married to a very sweet, nice, handsome > man who makes a ton of money...her children seem relatively easy and she > actually has a 5 weeek old that sleeps through the night and my son who's > almost 2 still has trouble sleeping through the night...although she's had a > baby that's 5 weeks old this woman has a body to die for...she has the dog I > wish we had...need I go on? she has the very life I wish I had. how stupid > but this is me. it plagues me. > > I know how shallow this sounds. It is. I'm ashamed because I think of hos > much I have in contrast to others, I think of the people victimized by 9/11, > I think of the poor in Afghanistan and India etc and it just doesn't change > me. It's so embarrassing to admit but I feel I can admit it to you because > you're all doing the work on something...and it's tormented me for years. no > matter where I live, where I work, I always seem to meet people whose life I > envy. and I know this is my lesson in this lifetime, because as soon as I am > able to get away from these people and I think I won't be tormented by them > anymore, I ALWAYS meet someone else who takes their place! > > so here I am - I just met this woman and we had a " playdate " with our > children this morning. I knew I had to go home and do the work while my son > was down from his nap, but I'm stuck because I don't want this woman to > change, there's nothing she should or shouldn't do...I don't need anything > from her...it's more the JEALOUSY I need to work on and I'm not sure how to > do that. I have no idea what the turnaround would be. I wish I could be > satisfied and content with what I have and be happy for her. > > if anyone has any insight or suggestions I'd be most grateful. thanks so > much, > mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2002 Report Share Posted July 29, 2002 Dear listowner Can you please look into this email? thanks steve help dear friend I ask you to read this letter till the end! Don't treat to my words with indifferens. On Your understanding it will depend my fate and the fate of my child! Also my need to write this because funds don't help individuals 501©(3) I am Byalik Oleg , date of birth 1964 , pssport No 313690364 , repatriated to Israel in March 1999 with my family from Ukraine(Kiev). The beginning of the absorption wasn't simple. It must rise from zero. However on 28 of September 2000 my wife Byalik Alla passport 313690372, left me with with child and went to other man in Kiev. Burdens of immigration , pecuniary difficulties forsed her to do this loathsome step. She robbed me with child , took money from personal savings , left us with our debts and went out Israel. I seven years have suffered from diabetes (diabetes mellitus type II), got per day three injection of insulin. After the endured stress I find myself in hospital with diagnosis : diabetic ketoacidosis (hiperlipidemia). I am 65% Physicaly disabled With unerstanding that we can be thrown out the hired flat , being in state of depression , the child became reserved , stopped regulary to go to school , lost the perspective in the life. Since , he is now treated by psychologist. In situation , I found myself , I was never. We have no relatives and friends in Israel. I shall struggle for our with child surviving till the last breth. But at present moment I am not imagining how I with my child can go out this financial bankruptcy. I have no money to pay for my son's school. Therfore I apply to you , help me as you can. My data: Bank Leumi. Israel Branch 886 Account : 517044\94 Haifa. Israel. Byalik Oleg All information can be gotten by the worker of t in Haifa social worker: GALLA tel.(972) 4-8524237.:(972) 4- 8524238 If you think that this is some kind of scam I can send you my documents that can proof personal information with your request. If you cant help, please send this to any people that you know that can help me. With respect Byalik Oleg contact telefon (972) 58788899 My adress :33064 Ben-Yeuda 8/4 . Haifa . Israel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 If someone has been on Paxil for one month at 10 mgs, how quickly can they go off it? I know it needs to be cut gradually, but it's causing severe depression and agitation. MUCH worse than before taking it.I'm thinking since it hasn;t been very long I can cut it pretty quickly, say 7.5 mgs for 5 days the 5, for 5, then 2.5 for 5... Does this sound OK? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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