Re: somebody help me understand

[Guest guest]

how long has it been for you? I know it sounds trite but I really believe

the hurt, the " wounds " one is left with after a break-up such as what you're

describing - take time to heal and they do

heal. You're miserable and lonely right now. that is reality. I have been

through the same thing and all I can say is don't fight it. I truly believe

that when you're feeling comfortable with being alone, others will naturally

be attracted to you...hang in there. your wounds will turn to scabs, the

scabs will heal and you may or may not be left with scars. but life will

feel like it's worth living again - you just need to get through this

particular story...

Reply-To: Loving-what-is

Date: Sun, 30 Jun 2002 23:23:46 -0000

To: Loving-what-is

Subject: somebody help me understand

i left my marriage because it felt right. i watched byron katie sit

in a chair and say " i want to stand, i want to stand. " well i wanted

to stand so i gathered my courage and stood. i really thought that i

would enjoy being single and spending time alone. but every day,

every hour, i struggle with this constant story of unbearable

loneliness. i tell myself it is a story, but it seems so real. it

seems to be accompanied by an ache in my heart, my body, my soul, and

i want to reach out to someone. i have been devoting myself to

charity work, and intellectual pursuits, just trying to fill that

void and it isn't working. i'm looking for a place in me where i can

just be, without a story of this constant emotional ache. but the

more i deny it exists the worse it gets. at least for today, this

minute, i'm not getting to a place where aloneness is anything but

misery. how do you make decisions about what to do? go back where

i at least have the illusion that i'm loved, as opposed to this

nothingness? move forward to another dumb illusion? and how do you

live without kisses, without hugs, without sensual fulfillment?

every story that comes up tells me i'm missing out on something. and

i have even tried talking to other singles on the net, to get some

temporary relief, even if it is a story, but no one seems to want to

talk soul and substance. please, somebody help me undertand.

without a story how will i know what to do? when to act? is there a

state of being you can get to that doesn't hurt so much? the worse

part is that i really detest myself for being such a neurotic,

emotional, mess. i can't even listen to the radio because love songs

bring embarressing unwanted tears. heck, i cried at he end of shrek

when the two ogres decided they loved each other. as harry said, in

when harry met sally, " i'm not well " .

[Guest guest]

for those dealing with grief

I recently went through a 12-week workshop on learning how to grieve,

becuase grieving is typically stifled in this society. Since this process

is not the Work, those interested in this information, please email me

privately.

steve

[Guest guest]

Suren

I am confused as to the point of your email. Are you offering something

here or wanting something?

Steve

Re: somebody help me understand

I am new to 's teachings, and I do not have a good grasp of the

teachings. However, I have been exposed to

" what is is " for more than 40 years through the teachings of J.

Krishnamurti. J.K's teachings may be a profound restatement of

Buddha's teachings.

To me staying with what is, is the most effective way of transforming a

negative emotion. When you stay with an emotion without any movemnet

away from it then that energy undergoes a radical change. This is similar

to Zen meditation but no one has articulated this as well as J.K. I highly

recommend reading his books. For Tabrina, I think the three volumes of

" Commentaries On Living " will be very helpful.

Choiceless awareness from moment to moment without condemnation and

justification or staying with what is without condemnation or justification

or staying with

it without any division... these are all different words to reach the same

state of embracing the psychological problem at a given instant. It is

important to sit in a firm position without any

movement. Some practise of vipassana or Zen will give a taste of this.

Basically one is not thinking but one is aware of thinking along with the

other five sensory inputs. The problem is created

by thinking and thinking cannot solve it. The kind of thinking is

offering, it seems to me, is to ultimately go beyond thinking and stay with

the raw energy of What Is.

Suren

somebody help me understand

i left my marriage because it felt right. i watched byron katie sit

in a chair and say " i want to stand, i want to stand. " well i wanted

to stand so i gathered my courage and stood. i really thought that i

would enjoy being single and spending time alone. but every day,

every hour, i struggle with this constant story of unbearable

loneliness. i tell myself it is a story, but it seems so real. it

seems to be accompanied by an ache in my heart, my body, my soul, and

i want to reach out to someone. i have been devoting myself to

charity work, and intellectual pursuits, just trying to fill that

void and it isn't working. i'm looking for a place in me where i can

just be, without a story of this constant emotional ache. but the

more i deny it exists the worse it gets. at least for today, this

minute, i'm not getting to a place where aloneness is anything but

misery. how do you make decisions about what to do? go back where

i at least have the illusion that i'm loved, as opposed to this

nothingness? move forward to another dumb illusion? and how do you

live without kisses, without hugs, without sensual fulfillment?

every story that comes up tells me i'm missing out on something. and

i have even tried talking to other singles on the net, to get some

temporary relief, even if it is a story, but no one seems to want to

talk soul and substance. please, somebody help me undertand.

without a story how will i know what to do? when to act? is there a

state of being you can get to that doesn't hurt so much? the worse

part is that i really detest myself for being such a neurotic,

emotional, mess. i can't even listen to the radio because love songs

bring embarressing unwanted tears. heck, i cried at he end of shrek

when the two ogres decided they loved each other. as harry said, in

when harry met sally, " i'm not well " .

[Guest guest]

I am new to 's teachings, and I do not have a good grasp of the teachings.

However, I have been exposed to

" what is is " for more than 40 years through the teachings of J. Krishnamurti.

J.K's teachings may be a profound restatement of

Buddha's teachings.

To me staying with what is, is the most effective way of transforming a negative

emotion. When you stay with an emotion without any movemnet

away from it then that energy undergoes a radical change. This is similar to

Zen meditation but no one has articulated this as well as J.K. I highly

recommend reading his books. For Tabrina, I think the three volumes of

" Commentaries On Living " will be very helpful.

Choiceless awareness from moment to moment without condemnation and

justification or staying with what is without condemnation or justification or

staying with

it without any division... these are all different words to reach the same state

of embracing the psychological problem at a given instant. It is important to

sit in a firm position without any

movement. Some practise of vipassana or Zen will give a taste of this.

Basically one is not thinking but one is aware of thinking along with the other

five sensory inputs. The problem is created

by thinking and thinking cannot solve it. The kind of thinking is

offering, it seems to me, is to ultimately go beyond thinking and stay with the

raw energy of What Is.

Suren

somebody help me understand

i left my marriage because it felt right. i watched byron katie sit

in a chair and say " i want to stand, i want to stand. " well i wanted

to stand so i gathered my courage and stood. i really thought that i

would enjoy being single and spending time alone. but every day,

every hour, i struggle with this constant story of unbearable

loneliness. i tell myself it is a story, but it seems so real. it

seems to be accompanied by an ache in my heart, my body, my soul, and

i want to reach out to someone. i have been devoting myself to

charity work, and intellectual pursuits, just trying to fill that

void and it isn't working. i'm looking for a place in me where i can

just be, without a story of this constant emotional ache. but the

more i deny it exists the worse it gets. at least for today, this

minute, i'm not getting to a place where aloneness is anything but

misery. how do you make decisions about what to do? go back where

i at least have the illusion that i'm loved, as opposed to this

nothingness? move forward to another dumb illusion? and how do you

live without kisses, without hugs, without sensual fulfillment?

every story that comes up tells me i'm missing out on something. and

i have even tried talking to other singles on the net, to get some

temporary relief, even if it is a story, but no one seems to want to

talk soul and substance. please, somebody help me undertand.

without a story how will i know what to do? when to act? is there a

state of being you can get to that doesn't hurt so much? the worse

part is that i really detest myself for being such a neurotic,

emotional, mess. i can't even listen to the radio because love songs

bring embarressing unwanted tears. heck, i cried at he end of shrek

when the two ogres decided they loved each other. as harry said, in

when harry met sally, " i'm not well " .

[Guest guest]

Hi Tabrina

I have been where you are and I know that this feels scary and empty.

I found out that all these " stories " we have have their value. The ones that

hurt us, show us that we are dependent on a certain outcome or behaviour of

either circumstances or people. The " outside " world, i.e. everything we perceive

outside of our body - and to a certain degree even our own body - is only a

mirror of us. We all have our belief systems (stories) how things should be so

that we would be happy and we don't realize that we want to bend what is. This

cannot work, because most people want to bend everything differently. But we can

change our point of view (this is what we do with the work). We shift

perception. We are always with a story, but we may chose one that does not make

us feel bad. When we do the turn-around we do the shift of perception, we look

at the same circumstance or person, but from a different standpoint.

By reaching a different view of what is, we give ourselves the opportunity to no

longer be dependent on what is. You are yearning for love, for kisses, for hugs,

for appreciation and so on. There is a place inside of you - right where your

heart is - where you can find this grandiose feeling. Every time you feel good

about something, it is this Love inside of YOU that comes " into action " . But we

make ourselves believe that it comes from the outside.........! and this is

where the suffering starts and never ends. Once you understand that YOU are your

own Source of Love, life starts to look a whole lot different.

There could be a thousand guys out there, telling you that they love and adore

you....... it won't change one iota your feelings, only if YOU allow so. You can

tap into this Love anytime during the day...... it's burning and waiting to be

tapped.

I have done the work for the last one and a half years and I have come across

many many limiting beliefs and one day I understood the whole principle behind

the work and I was free. I kept watching the same videos many many times and I

always listened to the words of and I got a different meaning out of it

every time I listened. I do the same with her new book. I keep reading the same

dialogues over and over and I understand myself better and better.

IS this LOVE on a consistent basis and I don't know if I'll ever get where

she is, but I am on my way.

Besides doing the work, try to find every day a few things that you can trigger

this Love or Joy feeling and then just concentrate on this feeling without

making it dependable on the outside appearance. Let this feeling flood you and

circle in your body. It raises the vibration in your body and you will be able

to think and catch lighter thoughts. You are in a better position to inquire

your beliefs and you can shrug them off. You know, there are trillions of

thoughts floating around us and they are all free and we have the choice to pick

whichever we want to......

If you keep your head lowered, you only have access to " low flying " thoughts;

but when you vibrate higher, your head goes up automatically and new thoughts

can enter and you can change your viewpoint.

Everything is o.k., just the way it is and you have the choice to look at it any

way you want to.

When I say that everything is a mirror of you: Yes, ALL IS YOU, there is ONLY

YOU and all you see, is only a reflection of you. You are pure Light or Love or

Joy and this light is darkened with your beliefs (the more limiting beliefs, the

darker the view). You are watching the world through YOUR beliefs and I am

watching the world through MY beliefs and so does everyone else. What we are

looking at, is in REALITY Light, Love and Joy, but since it is only our mirror

we perceive our own " darkness " or beliefs. When we change our " stories/beliefs " ,

we see more light in the other person or circumstance which is nothing but the

reflection of our own light. has reached the point where she sees her own

light in all there is. That is why she loves everything and everybody. She looks

at her SELF, her own LIGHT, God or whatever you want to call it.

Tabrina, I hope that these thoughts of mine may help you to find this place

inside of you - calls it Peace, I call it Love - from where you find all

the satisfaction and which fills you from INSIDE and you no longer have to run

for your happiness around in the outside world.

A big hug and kiss

somebody help me understand

i left my marriage because it felt right. i watched byron katie sit

in a chair and say " i want to stand, i want to stand. " well i wanted

to stand so i gathered my courage and stood. i really thought that i

would enjoy being single and spending time alone. but every day,

every hour, i struggle with this constant story of unbearable

loneliness. i tell myself it is a story, but it seems so real. it

seems to be accompanied by an ache in my heart, my body, my soul, and

i want to reach out to someone. i have been devoting myself to

charity work, and intellectual pursuits, just trying to fill that

void and it isn't working. i'm looking for a place in me where i can

just be, without a story of this constant emotional ache. but the

more i deny it exists the worse it gets. at least for today, this

minute, i'm not getting to a place where aloneness is anything but

misery. how do you make decisions about what to do? go back where

i at least have the illusion that i'm loved, as opposed to this

nothingness? move forward to another dumb illusion? and how do you

live without kisses, without hugs, without sensual fulfillment?

every story that comes up tells me i'm missing out on something. and

i have even tried talking to other singles on the net, to get some

temporary relief, even if it is a story, but no one seems to want to

talk soul and substance. please, somebody help me undertand.

without a story how will i know what to do? when to act? is there a

state of being you can get to that doesn't hurt so much? the worse

part is that i really detest myself for being such a neurotic,

emotional, mess. i can't even listen to the radio because love songs

bring embarressing unwanted tears. heck, i cried at he end of shrek

when the two ogres decided they loved each other. as harry said, in

when harry met sally, " i'm not well " .

[Guest guest]

...thank you for your wonderful, loving email to Tabrina. It helped

me to understand more clearly the work, and who we really are. thanks! mary

Reply-To: Loving-what-is

Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 08:51:16 +0200

To: <Loving-what-is >

Subject: Re: somebody help me understand

Hi Tabrina

I have been where you are and I know that this feels scary and empty.

I found out that all these " stories " we have have their value. The ones that

hurt us, show us that we are dependent on a certain outcome or behaviour of

either circumstances or people. The " outside " world, i.e. everything we

perceive outside of our body - and to a certain degree even our own body -

is only a mirror of us. We all have our belief systems (stories) how things

should be so that we would be happy and we don't realize that we want to

bend what is. This cannot work, because most people want to bend everything

differently. But we can change our point of view (this is what we do with

the work). We shift perception. We are always with a story, but we may chose

one that does not make us feel bad. When we do the turn-around we do the

shift of perception, we look at the same circumstance or person, but from a

different standpoint.

By reaching a different view of what is, we give ourselves the opportunity

to no longer be dependent on what is. You are yearning for love, for kisses,

for hugs, for appreciation and so on. There is a place inside of you - right

where your heart is - where you can find this grandiose feeling. Every time

you feel good about something, it is this Love inside of YOU that comes

" into action " . But we make ourselves believe that it comes from the

outside.........! and this is where the suffering starts and never ends.

Once you understand that YOU are your own Source of Love, life starts to

look a whole lot different.

There could be a thousand guys out there, telling you that they love and

adore you....... it won't change one iota your feelings, only if YOU allow

so. You can tap into this Love anytime during the day...... it's burning and

waiting to be tapped.

I have done the work for the last one and a half years and I have come

across many many limiting beliefs and one day I understood the whole

principle behind the work and I was free. I kept watching the same videos

many many times and I always listened to the words of and I got a

different meaning out of it every time I listened. I do the same with her

new book. I keep reading the same dialogues over and over and I understand

myself better and better.

IS this LOVE on a consistent basis and I don't know if I'll ever get

where she is, but I am on my way.

Besides doing the work, try to find every day a few things that you can

trigger this Love or Joy feeling and then just concentrate on this feeling

without making it dependable on the outside appearance. Let this feeling

flood you and circle in your body. It raises the vibration in your body and

you will be able to think and catch lighter thoughts. You are in a better

position to inquire your beliefs and you can shrug them off. You know, there

are trillions of thoughts floating around us and they are all free and we

have the choice to pick whichever we want to......

If you keep your head lowered, you only have access to " low flying "

thoughts; but when you vibrate higher, your head goes up automatically and

new thoughts can enter and you can change your viewpoint.

Everything is o.k., just the way it is and you have the choice to look at it

any way you want to.

When I say that everything is a mirror of you: Yes, ALL IS YOU, there is

ONLY YOU and all you see, is only a reflection of you. You are pure Light or

Love or Joy and this light is darkened with your beliefs (the more limiting

beliefs, the darker the view). You are watching the world through YOUR

beliefs and I am watching the world through MY beliefs and so does everyone

else. What we are looking at, is in REALITY Light, Love and Joy, but since

it is only our mirror we perceive our own " darkness " or beliefs. When we

change our " stories/beliefs " , we see more light in the other person or

circumstance which is nothing but the reflection of our own light. has

reached the point where she sees her own light in all there is. That is why

she loves everything and everybody. She looks at her SELF, her own LIGHT,

God or whatever you want to call it.

Tabrina, I hope that these thoughts of mine may help you to find this place

inside of you - calls it Peace, I call it Love - from where you find

all the satisfaction and which fills you from INSIDE and you no longer have

to run for your happiness around in the outside world.

A big hug and kiss

somebody help me understand

i left my marriage because it felt right. i watched byron katie sit

in a chair and say " i want to stand, i want to stand. " well i wanted

to stand so i gathered my courage and stood. i really thought that i

would enjoy being single and spending time alone. but every day,

every hour, i struggle with this constant story of unbearable

loneliness. i tell myself it is a story, but it seems so real. it

seems to be accompanied by an ache in my heart, my body, my soul, and

i want to reach out to someone. i have been devoting myself to

charity work, and intellectual pursuits, just trying to fill that

void and it isn't working. i'm looking for a place in me where i can

just be, without a story of this constant emotional ache. but the

more i deny it exists the worse it gets. at least for today, this

minute, i'm not getting to a place where aloneness is anything but

misery. how do you make decisions about what to do? go back where

i at least have the illusion that i'm loved, as opposed to this

nothingness? move forward to another dumb illusion? and how do you

live without kisses, without hugs, without sensual fulfillment?

every story that comes up tells me i'm missing out on something. and

i have even tried talking to other singles on the net, to get some

temporary relief, even if it is a story, but no one seems to want to

talk soul and substance. please, somebody help me undertand.

without a story how will i know what to do? when to act? is there a

state of being you can get to that doesn't hurt so much? the worse

part is that i really detest myself for being such a neurotic,

emotional, mess. i can't even listen to the radio because love songs

bring embarressing unwanted tears. heck, i cried at he end of shrek

when the two ogres decided they loved each other. as harry said, in

when harry met sally, " i'm not well " .

[Guest guest]

Yeah...what says! Well said .!

-- Re: somebody help me understand

Hi Tabrina

I have been where you are and I know that this feels scary and empty.

I found out that all these " stories " we have have their value. The ones that

hurt us, show us that we are dependent on a certain outcome or behaviour of

either circumstances or people. The " outside " world, i.e. everything we

perceive outside of our body - and to a certain degree even our own body -

is only a mirror of us. We all have our belief systems (stories) how things

should be so that we would be happy and we don't realize that we want to

bend what is. This cannot work, because most people want to bend everything

differently. But we can change our point of view (this is what we do with

the work). We shift perception. We are always with a story, but we may chose

one that does not make us feel bad. When we do the turn-around we do the

shift of perception, we look at the same circumstance or person, but from a

different standpoint.

By reaching a different view of what is, we give ourselves the opportunity

to no longer be dependent on what is. You are yearning for love, for kisses,

for hugs, for appreciation and so on. There is a place inside of you - right

where your heart is - where you can find this grandiose feeling. Every time

you feel good about something, it is this Love inside of YOU that comes

into action " . But we make ourselves believe that it comes from the outside..

......! and this is where the suffering starts and never ends. Once you

understand that YOU are your own Source of Love, life starts to look a whole

lot different.

There could be a thousand guys out there, telling you that they love and

adore you....... it won't change one iota your feelings, only if YOU allow

so. You can tap into this Love anytime during the day...... it's burning and

waiting to be tapped.

I have done the work for the last one and a half years and I have come

across many many limiting beliefs and one day I understood the whole

principle behind the work and I was free. I kept watching the same videos

many many times and I always listened to the words of and I got a

different meaning out of it every time I listened. I do the same with her

new book. I keep reading the same dialogues over and over and I understand

myself better and better.

IS this LOVE on a consistent basis and I don't know if I'll ever get

where she is, but I am on my way.

Besides doing the work, try to find every day a few things that you can

trigger this Love or Joy feeling and then just concentrate on this feeling

without making it dependable on the outside appearance. Let this feeling

flood you and circle in your body. It raises the vibration in your body and

you will be able to think and catch lighter thoughts. You are in a better

position to inquire your beliefs and you can shrug them off. You know, there

are trillions of thoughts floating around us and they are all free and we

have the choice to pick whichever we want to......

If you keep your head lowered, you only have access to " low flying " thoughts

but when you vibrate higher, your head goes up automatically and new

thoughts can enter and you can change your viewpoint.

Everything is o.k., just the way it is and you have the choice to look at it

any way you want to.

When I say that everything is a mirror of you: Yes, ALL IS YOU, there is

ONLY YOU and all you see, is only a reflection of you. You are pure Light or

Love or Joy and this light is darkened with your beliefs (the more limiting

beliefs, the darker the view). You are watching the world through YOUR

beliefs and I am watching the world through MY beliefs and so does everyone

else. What we are looking at, is in REALITY Light, Love and Joy, but since

it is only our mirror we perceive our own " darkness " or beliefs. When we

change our " stories/beliefs " , we see more light in the other person or

circumstance which is nothing but the reflection of our own light. has

reached the point where she sees her own light in all there is. That is why

she loves everything and everybody. She looks at her SELF, her own LIGHT,

God or whatever you want to call it.

Tabrina, I hope that these thoughts of mine may help you to find this place

inside of you - calls it Peace, I call it Love - from where you find

all the satisfaction and which fills you from INSIDE and you no longer have

to run for your happiness around in the outside world.

A big hug and kiss

somebody help me understand

i left my marriage because it felt right. i watched byron katie sit

in a chair and say " i want to stand, i want to stand. " well i wanted

to stand so i gathered my courage and stood. i really thought that i

would enjoy being single and spending time alone. but every day,

every hour, i struggle with this constant story of unbearable

loneliness. i tell myself it is a story, but it seems so real. it

seems to be accompanied by an ache in my heart, my body, my soul, and

i want to reach out to someone. i have been devoting myself to

charity work, and intellectual pursuits, just trying to fill that

void and it isn't working. i'm looking for a place in me where i can

just be, without a story of this constant emotional ache. but the

more i deny it exists the worse it gets. at least for today, this

minute, i'm not getting to a place where aloneness is anything but

misery. how do you make decisions about what to do? go back where

i at least have the illusion that i'm loved, as opposed to this

nothingness? move forward to another dumb illusion? and how do you

live without kisses, without hugs, without sensual fulfillment?

every story that comes up tells me i'm missing out on something. and

i have even tried talking to other singles on the net, to get some

temporary relief, even if it is a story, but no one seems to want to

talk soul and substance. please, somebody help me undertand.

without a story how will i know what to do? when to act? is there a

state of being you can get to that doesn't hurt so much? the worse

part is that i really detest myself for being such a neurotic,

emotional, mess. i can't even listen to the radio because love songs

bring embarressing unwanted tears. heck, i cried at he end of shrek

when the two ogres decided they loved each other. as harry said, in

when harry met sally, " i'm not well " .

[Guest guest]

Suren,

I find that I'm curoius what drew you to come take a look at this message

board.. What was your orignal motive and intention? Will you share it?

[Guest guest]

Steve,

I am sorry, I did not take enough time to write it clearly. I am suggesting

that J.K's teachings will be helpful for Tabrina in facing her sorrow.

Suren

somebody help me understand

>

>

> i left my marriage because it felt right. i watched byron katie sit

> in a chair and say " i want to stand, i want to stand. " well i wanted

> to stand so i gathered my courage and stood. i really thought that i

> would enjoy being single and spending time alone. but every day,

> every hour, i struggle with this constant story of unbearable

> loneliness. i tell myself it is a story, but it seems so real. it

> seems to be accompanied by an ache in my heart, my body, my soul, and

> i want to reach out to someone. i have been devoting myself to

> charity work, and intellectual pursuits, just trying to fill that

> void and it isn't working. i'm looking for a place in me where i can

> just be, without a story of this constant emotional ache. but the

> more i deny it exists the worse it gets. at least for today, this

> minute, i'm not getting to a place where aloneness is anything but

> misery. how do you make decisions about what to do? go back where

> i at least have the illusion that i'm loved, as opposed to this

> nothingness? move forward to another dumb illusion? and how do you

> live without kisses, without hugs, without sensual fulfillment?

> every story that comes up tells me i'm missing out on something. and

> i have even tried talking to other singles on the net, to get some

> temporary relief, even if it is a story, but no one seems to want to

> talk soul and substance. please, somebody help me undertand.

> without a story how will i know what to do? when to act? is there a

> state of being you can get to that doesn't hurt so much? the worse

> part is that i really detest myself for being such a neurotic,

> emotional, mess. i can't even listen to the radio because love songs

> bring embarressing unwanted tears. heck, i cried at he end of shrek

> when the two ogres decided they loved each other. as harry said, in

> when harry met sally, " i'm not well " .

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

Kati's work was highly recommended by some one in Adyashanti's group, and I

believe even Adyashanti had good words

for the work. That's how I came to know of . I was into J.K's style of

inquiry and also into other Advaita teachers.

I am able to sit with troubling emotions and transmute them by staying with

them but I am finding that it is temporary.

My psychological problems, such as anger, are deep rooted and I am exploring

's work to see if it will help. I like to

know the differences and similarities between 's work and JK's

teachings. If some one can do that I will be happy.

I have read the little book but I have not seriously worked on any issue. I

just ordered Loving What Is, and hoping it

will motivate me to dig deeper into work.

Suren

Re: somebody help me understand

> Suren,

> I find that I'm curoius what drew you to come take a look at this message

> board.. What was your orignal motive and intention? Will you share it?

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Suren,

I had my doubts about the work when I first encountered it..I liked it but I

thought it was merely a pschological or " personality " tool..Not something

that would cause me to realize any absolute truth or awaken me according to

my idea (which at the time I would have said was experience) of what it was

to be awake...

You can play at the periphery comparing idea's about non-dual teachings from

this method and idea's about non-dual teachings from another method (or

non-method) for quite a while...Or you can write a worksheet about someone

or something that is troubling you and then ask someone to ask you the 4

questions..Since you have spent time noticing when the bodymind contracts in

" negative " emotions, I would suggest you answer question #3 and #4 in light

of the presence or absence of this contraction.. You have an advantage here

because you have a habit already of awareness at that level... My idea is

that that represents your best opportunity to find out if the 4 questions

really represent the opportunity you're looking for...

,

Kati's work was highly recommended by some one in Adyashanti's group, and I

believe even Adyashanti had good words

for the work. That's how I came to know of . I was into J.K's style of

inquiry and also into other Advaita teachers.

I am able to sit with troubling emotions and transmute them by staying with

them but I am finding that it is temporary.

My psychological problems, such as anger, are deep rooted and I am exploring

's work to see if it will help. I like to

know the differences and similarities between 's work and JK's

teachings. If some one can do that I will be happy.

I have read the little book but I have not seriously worked on any issue. I

just ordered Loving What Is, and hoping it

will motivate me to dig deeper into work.

Suren

[Guest guest]

Wow

I recently went to an Adya workshop. And he had added some questions that

reminded me of the work. Now I see a connection.

Steve

Re: somebody help me understand

,

Kati's work was highly recommended by some one in Adyashanti's group, and I

believe even Adyashanti had good words

for the work. That's how I came to know of . I was into J.K's style of

inquiry and also into other Advaita teachers.

I am able to sit with troubling emotions and transmute them by staying with

them but I am finding that it is temporary.

My psychological problems, such as anger, are deep rooted and I am exploring

's work to see if it will help. I like to

know the differences and similarities between 's work and JK's

teachings. If some one can do that I will be happy.

I have read the little book but I have not seriously worked on any issue. I

just ordered Loving What Is, and hoping it

will motivate me to dig deeper into work.

Suren

Re: somebody help me understand

> Suren,

> I find that I'm curoius what drew you to come take a look at this message

> board.. What was your orignal motive and intention? Will you share it?

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

I am looking forward to do that. Thanks for clarifying.

Suren

Re: somebody help me understand

> Suren,

>

> I had my doubts about the work when I first encountered it..I liked it but

I

> thought it was merely a pschological or " personality " tool..Not something

> that would cause me to realize any absolute truth or awaken me according

to

> my idea (which at the time I would have said was experience) of what it

was

> to be awake...

>

> You can play at the periphery comparing idea's about non-dual teachings

from

> this method and idea's about non-dual teachings from another method (or

> non-method) for quite a while...Or you can write a worksheet about someone

> or something that is troubling you and then ask someone to ask you the 4

> questions..Since you have spent time noticing when the bodymind contracts

in

> " negative " emotions, I would suggest you answer question #3 and #4 in

light

> of the presence or absence of this contraction.. You have an advantage

here

> because you have a habit already of awareness at that level... My idea is

> that that represents your best opportunity to find out if the 4 questions

> really represent the opportunity you're looking for...

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ,

>

> Kati's work was highly recommended by some one in Adyashanti's group, and

I

> believe even Adyashanti had good words

> for the work. That's how I came to know of . I was into J.K's style

of

> inquiry and also into other Advaita teachers.

> I am able to sit with troubling emotions and transmute them by staying

with

> them but I am finding that it is temporary.

> My psychological problems, such as anger, are deep rooted and I am

exploring

> 's work to see if it will help. I like to

> know the differences and similarities between 's work and JK's

> teachings. If some one can do that I will be happy.

>

> I have read the little book but I have not seriously worked on any issue.

I

> just ordered Loving What Is, and hoping it

> will motivate me to dig deeper into work.

>

> Suren

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

I forgot to ask you one thing. Do I need some one to ask me the four

questions or I can do that myself if no one is available?

Suren

Re: somebody help me understand

> Suren,

>

> I had my doubts about the work when I first encountered it..I liked it but

I

> thought it was merely a pschological or " personality " tool..Not something

> that would cause me to realize any absolute truth or awaken me according

to

> my idea (which at the time I would have said was experience) of what it

was

> to be awake...

>

> You can play at the periphery comparing idea's about non-dual teachings

from

> this method and idea's about non-dual teachings from another method (or

> non-method) for quite a while...Or you can write a worksheet about someone

> or something that is troubling you and then ask someone to ask you the 4

> questions..Since you have spent time noticing when the bodymind contracts

in

> " negative " emotions, I would suggest you answer question #3 and #4 in

light

> of the presence or absence of this contraction.. You have an advantage

here

> because you have a habit already of awareness at that level... My idea is

> that that represents your best opportunity to find out if the 4 questions

> really represent the opportunity you're looking for...

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ,

>

> Kati's work was highly recommended by some one in Adyashanti's group, and

I

> believe even Adyashanti had good words

> for the work. That's how I came to know of . I was into J.K's style

of

> inquiry and also into other Advaita teachers.

> I am able to sit with troubling emotions and transmute them by staying

with

> them but I am finding that it is temporary.

> My psychological problems, such as anger, are deep rooted and I am

exploring

> 's work to see if it will help. I like to

> know the differences and similarities between 's work and JK's

> teachings. If some one can do that I will be happy.

>

> I have read the little book but I have not seriously worked on any issue.

I

> just ordered Loving What Is, and hoping it

> will motivate me to dig deeper into work.

>

> Suren

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

you can do it yourself of course - early on a " facillitator " helped me

inquire in directions i might not have gone, however, just as people do for

one another here on this thread...

B

[Guest guest]

Thank you All/Me!

Tabrina, I've been sitting with the same sorts of

feelings [single mom whose two daughters are with

their father for two weeks].

Yesterday I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my

skin; it was so uncomfortable. I found my original

story of lonliness; and I cried myself to sleep. I

cried for the child left alone without any support;

and I comforted her last night. I found the Source.

I remind myself constantly to go within...to see the

" high-flying " thoughts. I'm still dropping the story

i've attached to and am still dropping the

" low-flying " thoughts. But now my head is higher and I

can smile (especially in the mirror).

Thank-you for sharing your wisdom.

I lurk a lot on this list but was inspired by to

share that this thread was just what I needed now.

Bless You all/Bless Me,

--- Gould wrote:

> ...thank you for your wonderful, loving

> email to Tabrina. It helped

> me ...

>

>

> Hi Tabrina

> I have been where you are and I know that this feels

> scary and empty. I found out that all these

" stories " we have have their value. The ones that

> hurt us, show us that we are dependent on a certain

> outcome or behaviour of either circumstances or

people. The " outside " world,

> i.e. everything we

> perceive outside of our body - and to a certain

> degree even our own body -

> is only a mirror of us. ... You are

> yearning for love, for kisses,

> for hugs, for appreciation and so on. There is a

> place inside of you - right

> where your heart is - where you can find this

> grandiose feeling. Every time

> you feel good about something, it is this Love

> inside of YOU that comes

> " into action " . But we make ourselves believe that it

> comes from the

> outside...> IS this LOVE on a consistent basis

.... It raises the

> vibration in your body and

> you will be able to think and catch lighter

> thoughts. ..You know, there

> are trillions of thoughts floating around us and

> they are all free and we have the choice to pick

whichever we want to......

> If you keep your head lowered, you only have access

> to " low flying " thoughts; but when you vibrate

higher, your head goes up automatically and

> new thoughts can enter and you can change your

> viewpoint.

> ...> Tabrina, I hope that these thoughts of mine may

help you to find this place

> inside of you - calls it Peace, I call it Love

> - from where you find

> all the satisfaction and which fills you from INSIDE

> and you no longer have

> to run for your happiness around in the outside

> world.> > A big hug and kiss

>

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> i left my marriage because it felt right. i

> watched byron katie sitin a chair and say " i want to

stand, i want tostand. " well i wanted to stand so i

gathered my courage and stood. i really thought that

i

> would enjoy being single and spending time alone.

....> trying to fill that void and it isn't working.

i'm looking for a placein me where i can just be,

without a story of this constant emotional ache. but

the more i deny it exists the worse it gets. at

leastfor today, this minute, i'm not getting to a

place where aloneness is anything but misery. how do

you make decisions about what to do? go back where i

at least have the illusion that i'm loved, as opposed

to this nothingness? move forward to another dumb

> illusion? and how do you live without kisses,

without hugs, without sensual fulfillment?every story

that comes up tells me i'm missing out on something.

and i have even tried talking to other singles on the

net, to get some> temporary relief, even if it is a

story, but no one> seems to want to> talk soul and

substance. please, somebody help me undertand.

....

>

=== message truncated ===

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

mary, thank you for writing. i have been separated from my husband

for 2 months. your words brought me comfort. it certainly helps to

know someone else understands. how long should it take? isn't

needing time a story

too?

> how long has it been for you? I know it sounds trite but I really

believe

> the hurt, the " wounds " one is left with after a break-up such as

what you're

> describing - take time to heal and they do

> heal. You're miserable and lonely right now. that is reality. I

have been

> through the same thing and all I can say is don't fight it. I truly

believe

> that when you're feeling comfortable with being alone, others will

naturally

> be attracted to you...hang in there. your wounds will turn to

scabs, the

> scabs will heal and you may or may not be left with scars. but life

will

> feel like it's worth living again - you just need to get through

this

> particular story...

>

> From: " tabrinaweaver " <tabrinaweaver@y...>

> Reply-To: Loving-what-is@y...

> Date: Sun, 30 Jun 2002 23:23:46 -0000

> To: Loving-what-is@y...

> Subject: somebody help me understand

>

> i left my marriage because it felt right. i watched byron katie sit

> in a chair and say " i want to stand, i want to stand. " well i

wanted

> to stand so i gathered my courage and stood. i really thought that

i

> would enjoy being single and spending time alone. but every day,

> every hour, i struggle with this constant story of unbearable

> loneliness. i tell myself it is a story, but it seems so real. it

> seems to be accompanied by an ache in my heart, my body, my soul,

and

> i want to reach out to someone. i have been devoting myself to

> charity work, and intellectual pursuits, just trying to fill that

> void and it isn't working. i'm looking for a place in me where i

can

> just be, without a story of this constant emotional ache. but the

> more i deny it exists the worse it gets. at least for today, this

> minute, i'm not getting to a place where aloneness is anything but

> misery. how do you make decisions about what to do? go back where

> i at least have the illusion that i'm loved, as opposed to this

> nothingness? move forward to another dumb illusion? and how do you

> live without kisses, without hugs, without sensual fulfillment?

> every story that comes up tells me i'm missing out on something.

and

> i have even tried talking to other singles on the net, to get some

> temporary relief, even if it is a story, but no one seems to want to

> talk soul and substance. please, somebody help me undertand.

> without a story how will i know what to do? when to act? is there

a

> state of being you can get to that doesn't hurt so much? the worse

> part is that i really detest myself for being such a neurotic,

> emotional, mess. i can't even listen to the radio because love

songs

> bring embarressing unwanted tears. heck, i cried at he end of shrek

> when the two ogres decided they loved each other. as harry said, in

> when harry met sally, " i'm not well " .

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

i don't know if what i am feeling qualifies as grief. i chose it.

its not like an event happened to me against my will. please do

email the workshop info. thanks, tabrina

> for those dealing with grief

>

> I recently went through a 12-week workshop on learning how to

grieve,

> becuase grieving is typically stifled in this society. Since this

process

> is not the Work, those interested in this information, please email

me

> privately.

>

> steve

[Guest guest]

Suren, thank you for your thoughts. It did not occur to me that I

was avoiding sitting through the feelings until you mentioned staying

with an emotion without movement. I have had such hilarious

experiences, floundering around, seeking a new story to attach to.

Not that it works. I will look for " commentaries on living. " thank

you for the suggestion.

> I am new to 's teachings, and I do not have a good grasp of

the teachings. However, I have been exposed to

> " what is is " for more than 40 years through the teachings of J.

Krishnamurti. J.K's teachings may be a profound restatement of

> Buddha's teachings.

>

> To me staying with what is, is the most effective way of

transforming a negative emotion. When you stay with an emotion

without any movemnet

> away from it then that energy undergoes a radical change. This is

similar to Zen meditation but no one has articulated this as well as

J.K. I highly

> recommend reading his books. For Tabrina, I think the three

volumes of " Commentaries On Living " will be very helpful.

>

> Choiceless awareness from moment to moment without condemnation and

justification or staying with what is without condemnation or

justification or staying with

> it without any division... these are all different words to reach

the same state of embracing the psychological problem at a given

instant. It is important to sit in a firm position without any

> movement. Some practise of vipassana or Zen will give a taste of

this. Basically one is not thinking but one is aware of thinking

along with the other five sensory inputs. The problem is created

> by thinking and thinking cannot solve it. The kind of thinking

is offering, it seems to me, is to ultimately go beyond

thinking and stay with the raw energy of What Is.

>

> Suren

> somebody help me understand

>

>

> i left my marriage because it felt right. i watched byron katie

sit

> in a chair and say " i want to stand, i want to stand. " well i

wanted

> to stand so i gathered my courage and stood. i really thought

that i

> would enjoy being single and spending time alone. but every day,

> every hour, i struggle with this constant story of unbearable

> loneliness. i tell myself it is a story, but it seems so real.

it

> seems to be accompanied by an ache in my heart, my body, my soul,

and

> i want to reach out to someone. i have been devoting myself to

> charity work, and intellectual pursuits, just trying to fill that

> void and it isn't working. i'm looking for a place in me where i

can

> just be, without a story of this constant emotional ache. but

the

> more i deny it exists the worse it gets. at least for today,

this

> minute, i'm not getting to a place where aloneness is anything

but

> misery. how do you make decisions about what to do? go back

where

> i at least have the illusion that i'm loved, as opposed to this

> nothingness? move forward to another dumb illusion? and how do

you

> live without kisses, without hugs, without sensual fulfillment?

> every story that comes up tells me i'm missing out on something.

and

> i have even tried talking to other singles on the net, to get

some

> temporary relief, even if it is a story, but no one seems to want

to

> talk soul and substance. please, somebody help me undertand.

> without a story how will i know what to do? when to act? is

there a

> state of being you can get to that doesn't hurt so much? the

worse

> part is that i really detest myself for being such a neurotic,

> emotional, mess. i can't even listen to the radio because love

songs

> bring embarressing unwanted tears. heck, i cried at he end of

shrek

> when the two ogres decided they loved each other. as harry said,

in

> when harry met sally, " i'm not well " .

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Suren, thank you for your thoughts. It did not occur to me that I

was avoiding sitting through the feelings until you mentioned staying

with an emotion without movement. I have had such hilarious

experiences, floundering around, seeking a new story to attach to.

Not that it works. I will look for " commentaries on living. " thank

you for the suggestion.

> I am new to 's teachings, and I do not have a good grasp of

the teachings. However, I have been exposed to

> " what is is " for more than 40 years through the teachings of J.

Krishnamurti. J.K's teachings may be a profound restatement of

> Buddha's teachings.

>

> To me staying with what is, is the most effective way of

transforming a negative emotion. When you stay with an emotion

without any movemnet

> away from it then that energy undergoes a radical change. This is

similar to Zen meditation but no one has articulated this as well as

J.K. I highly

> recommend reading his books. For Tabrina, I think the three

volumes of " Commentaries On Living " will be very helpful.

>

> Choiceless awareness from moment to moment without condemnation and

justification or staying with what is without condemnation or

justification or staying with

> it without any division... these are all different words to reach

the same state of embracing the psychological problem at a given

instant. It is important to sit in a firm position without any

> movement. Some practise of vipassana or Zen will give a taste of

this. Basically one is not thinking but one is aware of thinking

along with the other five sensory inputs. The problem is created

> by thinking and thinking cannot solve it. The kind of thinking

is offering, it seems to me, is to ultimately go beyond

thinking and stay with the raw energy of What Is.

>

> Suren

> somebody help me understand

>

>

> i left my marriage because it felt right. i watched byron katie

sit

> in a chair and say " i want to stand, i want to stand. " well i

wanted

> to stand so i gathered my courage and stood. i really thought

that i

> would enjoy being single and spending time alone. but every day,

> every hour, i struggle with this constant story of unbearable

> loneliness. i tell myself it is a story, but it seems so real.

it

> seems to be accompanied by an ache in my heart, my body, my soul,

and

> i want to reach out to someone. i have been devoting myself to

> charity work, and intellectual pursuits, just trying to fill that

> void and it isn't working. i'm looking for a place in me where i

can

> just be, without a story of this constant emotional ache. but

the

> more i deny it exists the worse it gets. at least for today,

this

> minute, i'm not getting to a place where aloneness is anything

but

> misery. how do you make decisions about what to do? go back

where

> i at least have the illusion that i'm loved, as opposed to this

> nothingness? move forward to another dumb illusion? and how do

you

> live without kisses, without hugs, without sensual fulfillment?

> every story that comes up tells me i'm missing out on something.

and

> i have even tried talking to other singles on the net, to get

some

> temporary relief, even if it is a story, but no one seems to want

to

> talk soul and substance. please, somebody help me undertand.

> without a story how will i know what to do? when to act? is

there a

> state of being you can get to that doesn't hurt so much? the

worse

> part is that i really detest myself for being such a neurotic,

> emotional, mess. i can't even listen to the radio because love

songs

> bring embarressing unwanted tears. heck, i cried at he end of

shrek

> when the two ogres decided they loved each other. as harry said,

in

> when harry met sally, " i'm not well " .

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

thank you for sharing your thoughts stephanie. i think you are

correct, i do want to bend what is, as if i could, and i don't even

know if that would make me happy. lol... i think i am doing better.

i'm starting to feel amused by my own adorable search for the things

that are already right here. thanks again...

> Hi Tabrina

>

> I have been where you are and I know that this feels scary and

empty.

> I found out that all these " stories " we have have their value. The

ones that hurt us, show us that we are dependent on a certain outcome

or behaviour of either circumstances or people. The " outside " world,

i.e. everything we perceive outside of our body - and to a certain

degree even our own body - is only a mirror of us. We all have our

belief systems (stories) how things should be so that we would be

happy and we don't realize that we want to bend what is. This cannot

work, because most people want to bend everything differently. But we

can change our point of view (this is what we do with the work). We

shift perception. We are always with a story, but we may chose one

that does not make us feel bad. When we do the turn-around we do the

shift of perception, we look at the same circumstance or person, but

from a different standpoint.

> By reaching a different view of what is, we give ourselves the

opportunity to no longer be dependent on what is. You are yearning

for love, for kisses, for hugs, for appreciation and so on. There is

a place inside of you - right where your heart is - where you can

find this grandiose feeling. Every time you feel good about

something, it is this Love inside of YOU that comes " into action " .

But we make ourselves believe that it comes from the

outside.........! and this is where the suffering starts and never

ends. Once you understand that YOU are your own Source of Love, life

starts to look a whole lot different.

> There could be a thousand guys out there, telling you that they

love and adore you....... it won't change one iota your feelings,

only if YOU allow so. You can tap into this Love anytime during the

day...... it's burning and waiting to be tapped.

> I have done the work for the last one and a half years and I have

come across many many limiting beliefs and one day I understood the

whole principle behind the work and I was free. I kept watching the

same videos many many times and I always listened to the words of

and I got a different meaning out of it every time I listened.

I do the same with her new book. I keep reading the same dialogues

over and over and I understand myself better and better.

> IS this LOVE on a consistent basis and I don't know if I'll

ever get where she is, but I am on my way.

> Besides doing the work, try to find every day a few things that you

can trigger this Love or Joy feeling and then just concentrate on

this feeling without making it dependable on the outside appearance.

Let this feeling flood you and circle in your body. It raises the

vibration in your body and you will be able to think and catch

lighter thoughts. You are in a better position to inquire your

beliefs and you can shrug them off. You know, there are trillions of

thoughts floating around us and they are all free and we have the

choice to pick whichever we want to......

> If you keep your head lowered, you only have access to " low flying "

thoughts; but when you vibrate higher, your head goes up

automatically and new thoughts can enter and you can change your

viewpoint.

> Everything is o.k., just the way it is and you have the choice to

look at it any way you want to.

>

> When I say that everything is a mirror of you: Yes, ALL IS YOU,

there is ONLY YOU and all you see, is only a reflection of you. You

are pure Light or Love or Joy and this light is darkened with your

beliefs (the more limiting beliefs, the darker the view). You are

watching the world through YOUR beliefs and I am watching the world

through MY beliefs and so does everyone else. What we are looking at,

is in REALITY Light, Love and Joy, but since it is only our mirror we

perceive our own " darkness " or beliefs. When we change

our " stories/beliefs " , we see more light in the other person or

circumstance which is nothing but the reflection of our own light.

has reached the point where she sees her own light in all there

is. That is why she loves everything and everybody. She looks at her

SELF, her own LIGHT, God or whatever you want to call it.

>

> Tabrina, I hope that these thoughts of mine may help you to find

this place inside of you - calls it Peace, I call it Love -

from where you find all the satisfaction and which fills you from

INSIDE and you no longer have to run for your happiness around in the

outside world.

>

> A big hug and kiss

>

>

> somebody help me understand

>

>

> i left my marriage because it felt right. i watched byron katie

sit

> in a chair and say " i want to stand, i want to stand. " well i

wanted

> to stand so i gathered my courage and stood. i really thought

that i

> would enjoy being single and spending time alone. but every day,

> every hour, i struggle with this constant story of unbearable

> loneliness. i tell myself it is a story, but it seems so real.

it

> seems to be accompanied by an ache in my heart, my body, my soul,

and

> i want to reach out to someone. i have been devoting myself to

> charity work, and intellectual pursuits, just trying to fill that

> void and it isn't working. i'm looking for a place in me where i

can

> just be, without a story of this constant emotional ache. but

the

> more i deny it exists the worse it gets. at least for today,

this

> minute, i'm not getting to a place where aloneness is anything

but

> misery. how do you make decisions about what to do? go back

where

> i at least have the illusion that i'm loved, as opposed to this

> nothingness? move forward to another dumb illusion? and how do

you

> live without kisses, without hugs, without sensual fulfillment?

> every story that comes up tells me i'm missing out on something.

and

> i have even tried talking to other singles on the net, to get

some

> temporary relief, even if it is a story, but no one seems to want

to

> talk soul and substance. please, somebody help me undertand.

> without a story how will i know what to do? when to act? is

there a

> state of being you can get to that doesn't hurt so much? the

worse

> part is that i really detest myself for being such a neurotic,

> emotional, mess. i can't even listen to the radio because love

songs

> bring embarressing unwanted tears. heck, i cried at he end of

shrek

> when the two ogres decided they loved each other. as harry said,

in

> when harry met sally, " i'm not well " .

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

sounds like a story to me.

Re: somebody help me understand

mary, thank you for writing. i have been separated from my husband for 2 months.

your words brought me comfort. it certainly helps

to know someone else understands. how long should it take? isn't needing time a

story too?

[Guest guest]

lol...help - stories coming out everywhere. someone needs to write a

horror movie about this. instead of the birds gathering outside the

windows...

> sounds like a story to me.

>

> Re: somebody help me understand

>

> mary, thank you for writing. i have been separated from my husband

for 2 months. your words brought me comfort. it certainly helps

> to know someone else understands. how long should it take? isn't

needing time a story too?

[Guest guest]

Hi Tabrina,

so glad you found comfort in what I wrote...it took me a solid year to heal

and I did heal completely. but yes, I guess " how long it took " is a story in

itself. I would be very gentle with yourself. and you absolutely ARE

grieving, it doesn't matter if this is something you initiated, it's a loss.

I have a little tiny book that helped me so much - it's called " how to

survive the loss of a love. " it described exactly the things I was feeling

and it helped calm me and give me peace, mainly beccause I realized that

these feelings were completely natural. someone actually wrote a book about

them. if you go to www.half.com you can buy it used for like 1 or 2

dollars...of if you'd like I can lend you mine! let me know & hang in

there....mary

Reply-To: Loving-what-is

Date: Mon, 08 Jul 2002 15:53:04 -0000

To: Loving-what-is

Subject: Re: somebody help me understand

lol...help - stories coming out everywhere. someone needs to write a

horror movie about this. instead of the birds gathering outside the

windows...

> sounds like a story to me.

>

> Re: somebody help me understand

>

> mary, thank you for writing. i have been separated from my husband

for 2 months. your words brought me comfort. it certainly helps

> to know someone else understands. how long should it take? isn't

needing time a story too?