RE: Venting and Crying

[Guest guest]

Hi Pam!!

Welcome to the group!! I'm Missy and I have 5 kids, 3 boys and 2 girls ages 15b,12g,12b,4b,2g. My 15, 4 and 2yr old have all been diagnosed with Asperger's. What you feel is how many of us have and still do feel. We kick ourselves for not seeing the problems before the diagnosis. Once you get the diagnosis a hige lightbulb goes on and while there is a feeling of relief you also feel horrible for not having known yourself.

I know some people do homeschool there kids who have AS. My oldest has asked me numerous times to homeschool him but he is far too advanced for me. Another reason I don't homeschool-and this is a catch 22 thing-is when they are homeschooled they don't develop the social skills they need. By the same token, some do very well and like your son, plays sports and such that they normally wouldn't do in a school setting.

I think it's ironic that you bring up the bullying problem. It seems on several of the lists I am on this seems to be a problem. It is a problem for us as well right now. What I would do is take it to the top. Go see the vice principal and talk with your son's guidance counselor. If the counselor and the teachers aren't aware of the AS then they can't help him either. My oldest son is having a heack of a time with his teachers. Most refuse to learn anything about his AS or how to effectively teach him. Their theroy is why should they change their methods for one child out of 150. Sad, huh?

Depression is very common with kids with AS. They know they are different yet have no idea why. They don't understand why they get picked on or why people don't like them when they have done nothing wrong. I have, and still, cry many tears over this. The pain my 15yr old has endured I pray my 4yr old won;t have to. But as long as their are people who are destined to be bully's(adults as well) then the pain and frustration will be there.

Places like this group are great. We all have and are going thru similar if not the same things.

MISSYSAHM to some special kids!!!

Excuse Me While I Go Raise Tomorrow's Future.

Venting and Crying

Hi, my name is Pam and I am new to the group. My son, age 13, has not yet been formerly diagnosed Asperger's, but it seems very probable that AS will be diagnosed. It is relatively mild, which is why we are just arriving at the diagnosis phase, but it does not "feel" at all mild to him or to us. I don't know how we could have not realized something was this seriously wrong, considering I am an avid reader and read anything and everything in sight about just about everything. The poor kid started a new middle school this year, and we are just about to the point of pulling him and homeschooling him again (we homeschooled the last 3 years, having no idea that what he was dealing with was AS, or something very close to it.) He was comfortable and happy when we homeschooled (although it wasn't easy for me with his as yet undiagnosed learning disabilities and the meltdowns. He did very well academically, however, and tested into the advanced math class when he started school.) He was also in a drama class and started playing baseball when we homeschooled, whereas before we homeschooled he would do NO extracurricular activities. Since starting this new school in August (an excellent private school that we love) he has slowly unraveled, and was moved from the advanced classes to the regular classes. The kids in the regular classes are teasing him mercilessly, and the final straw came yesterday when one of the boys put a sign on his back that said "kick me if I'm ugly and have big eyebrows." He unknowingly wore this sign to a pep rally at school where it was visible to everyone. (He is actually a handsome boy, with "actor like" eyebrows--dark and striking.) But he is very awkward and very thin and not athletic, misses social cues, and is a very easy target. The kids in the advanced classes were nicer to him, although there were a couple in there that were not especially nice, but even my son acknowledges that he probably "annoyed them without meaning to." All of this is causing much anxiety and depression for him, along with the fact that he is unable to keep up with the homework. We are crushed, because from the first day, he has loved this school---the teachers, administration, the "atmosphere" (as he calls it) are all wonderful. I am considering homeschooling again, but since there are many aspects of school he does like, I would really rather make it work. Also, I started a new job (just two days a week) two months ago that I like, so I would really rather not quit. For those of you that have been in a similar situation (with a child being teased rather cruelly), how have you dealt with this? I would like to see the boy who did it be rather severely reprimanded, but I fear how this would affect my son. I don't want them to treat him even more badly for being a "tattletale." But if nothing is done, it will continue I am sure. On Monday, I am going to have him moved back into his original classes, but I am hoping that since he has been so publicly ridiculed that he won't start to be teased by the whole 7th grade class. Thanks in advance for any advice. Also, feel free to email me anytime.Pam

[Guest guest]

I wish I could pull my son out of school and homeschool him. I know he

would

thrive and

sail way above those his age. Projects would be limitless, but I

don't have

the knowledge to do it. I wish I did.

MISSY

ly Missy, if I Home School then I

figure most would be able to if the true desire is there. Mainly it requires a lot of patience, flexibility

and determination. As far as knowledge, my eleven year old is way above me.

However, I am an avid reader, enjoy learning and know this is what is best for

my son. There are days when says he’s not sure which one of us needs

schooling! He loves History and Geography and likes to give me pop quizzes. He

takes classes with other Home Schooled kids. The difference in these kids is so

noticeable. They are so nice, polite and patient. Such a pleasure from what I

see every week at the local Ps. where takes music lessons. Pretty much any

subject can be covered by going to the Public Library. Anyway, I can assure you

I never thought I’d be Home Schooling: “Never Say Never”….Gail

[Guest guest]

I learned right along with my children when I pulled them out of

public school. 8 years ago.. One is 18 now and has 2 years college

behind her already A student, my special needs??? son is A/B

highschool student and I feel was SAVED by coming home, my other son

is A student highschool and all very respectable and kind wonderful

kids. I used ABEKA curriculum and it is great way to teach they also

have VIdeo school where actual teachers in classroom teach your

student. Homeschool is not scarey as you may think. My sis just

started and has called daily to say her daughter is thriving and

learning MORE than in school. No training needed, just love and time

and curriculum or books. Read some webpages for support and ideas.

SO happy I took my kids back and became in charge of them versus the

school full of people who did not understand them, know them or have

time for them. IEPs were never met.... I could go on and on. Most of

all my son's behavior ,self esteem and personality all improved 100%

in homeschool.

BARB R

[Guest guest]

Anyway, I can assure you I never thought I’d be Home Schooling: “Never Say Never”….Gail

****************************************************

LOL,,Gail,,,I think you are reading my mind,lately !! I SWORE I could NEVER homeschool,,,,no way,,no how. I didn't have the patience,,time,,money,,and I barely graduated high school. Well fast forward a few years,,and here I am,,homeschooling all 4 kids. I took my 2 oldest out,last year, for different reasons (my oldest has severe asthma,,and gets pneumonia alot,,and misses alot of school,,,and my second oldest was being bullied) Then,,this year,,it just seemed easier to have the other 2 home also. My youngest was floundering around in Pre K,,and he hated going. My other ds was so advanced,he was bored out of his mind.

So,,here we are,,,a homeschooling family,,with very little support,from my dh,,but ,,oh well,,,you can't have everything you want in life,huh?

Kim mom to Meaghan 14~~Katelyn 11,Bipolar,OCD~~Logan 6 Aspergers,,connective tissue disorder,,and JRA~~and Ethan 4 and 100% BOY !!