Re: Living The turnarounds

July 20, 2002

Dear Doug,

One possible way to live the turnarounds is to go through your

worksheets and make amends to the people you wrote about,

(not unlike steps 8 and 9 of the 12 Steps of AA). In my

experience, it was me all along -- never them, and this is

basically what I say to them, plus I apologize for anything hurtful I

might have said or done. Facing the people who I thought were

my problem and sharing my realizations has been an amazing

experience for me and it has brought in much more peace and

compassion to my life. I also have written letters to my father that

never got sent, had converstions in my head with my mother,

sent emails and left voicemails to others when that felt right. It

seems to work whether I do it in person or not. To go even

deeper, I read the letters turned around to myself, making

amends to me as well, because I also have the propensity to

beat up on myself for my perceived mistakes.

Two other thoughts I had about your post:

Sometimes our story -- or our denial -- is so big, that it only drops

incrementally. So we revisit the same belief until it undoes itself.

This is why we turn number six around to " I look forward to " and

" I am willing to " (experience the same situation again).

Lastly, can you really know that you have left your realization " in

the mental realm " ? Can you really know that you haven't

" brought the new awareness forth into your life " ? It might be

worth investigating.

Love,

B.

> Hey all,

>

> Some nice threads going on here and I've been appreciating

them a lot.

>

> Here is one that I want to ask about. Does anyone care to

share their

> experience with living the turnarounds? I have trouble in that I

get

> to the " aha " and sort of leave it there in the mental realm. I

realize

> that the point is to bring the new awareness forth in your life

> otherwise you " trash " the Work as says. I've been using

that as

> a new and fresh way to beat up on myself...

>

> I shouldn't trash the Work

>

> Is it true?

>

> Yes.

>

> What's the reality of it?

>

> I do trash the Work sometimes.

>

> How do you live when you notice yourself not living the

turnarounds and

> attach to the belief in the moment that you should always live

the

> turnarounds?

>

> I experience war and conflict and even more internal

resistance to

> change. I go into another mindspin.

>

> Can you see a reason to drop the thought?

>

> Yes.

>

> Any reason to keep it that isn't stressful?

>

> Actually no.

>

> Who would you be in the moment that you see yourself

trashing the Work

> without the thought that you shouldn't trash the Work?

>

> Hah, a little more compassionate. Being and seeing a guy just

doing

> his best.

>

> t/a I should trash the Work.

>

> I'm willing to trash the work. I look forward to trashing the Work.

>

> Hah this is funny. I love it.

>

> Any feedback is welcome. On adeeper level I can see how I've

trashed

> alot of relationships which feels kinda sad. Then again we can

only

> begin now.

>

> doug

July 20, 2002

>>Here is one that I want to ask about. Does anyone care to share their

experience with living the turnarounds? I have trouble in that I get

to the " aha " and sort of leave it there in the mental realm.<<

Doug,

I'm not really sure what it means to trash the work. You said you get the

aha and then leave it in the mental realm. Maybe I'm not following your

question but when you get the aha...you got it, right? Aren't all our

issues in the mental realm? When we get it, the truth of it, we find the

beliefs/lies underneath that caused our stress to begin with and can let go

and/or accept what is.

Laurie o.

-- Living The turnarounds

Hey all,

Some nice threads going on here and I've been appreciating them a lot.

Here is one that I want to ask about. Does anyone care to share their

experience with living the turnarounds? I have trouble in that I get

to the " aha " and sort of leave it there in the mental realm. I realize

that the point is to bring the new awareness forth in your life

otherwise you " trash " the Work as says. I've been using that as

a new and fresh way to beat up on myself...

I shouldn't trash the Work

Is it true?

Yes.

What's the reality of it?

I do trash the Work sometimes.

How do you live when you notice yourself not living the turnarounds and

attach to the belief in the moment that you should always live the

turnarounds?

I experience war and conflict and even more internal resistance to

change. I go into another mindspin.

Can you see a reason to drop the thought?

Yes.

Any reason to keep it that isn't stressful?

Actually no.

Who would you be in the moment that you see yourself trashing the Work

without the thought that you shouldn't trash the Work?

Hah, a little more compassionate. Being and seeing a guy just doing

his best.

t/a I should trash the Work.

I'm willing to trash the work. I look forward to trashing the Work.

Hah this is funny. I love it.

Any feedback is welcome. On adeeper level I can see how I've trashed

alot of relationships which feels kinda sad. Then again we can only

begin now.

doug

July 21, 2002

> >>Here is one that I want to ask about. Does anyone care to share their

> experience with living the turnarounds? I have trouble in that I get

>

> to the " aha " and sort of leave it there in the mental realm.<<

>

> Doug,

>

> I'm not really sure what it means to trash the work. You said you get the

> aha and then leave it in the mental realm. Maybe I'm not following your

> question but when you get the aha...you got it, right? Aren't all our

> issues in the mental realm? When we get it, the truth of it, we find the

> beliefs/lies underneath that caused our stress to begin with and can let go

> and/or accept what is.

>

> Laurie o.

Hi Laurie

Trashing the work is a phrase has used. She says living the turn

arounds is how the Work comes alive but if you don't then you " trash

the Work " . When I heard that it got my attention. Where I go with

that is that I find it possible to do the Work as just a head trip or

with a motive (maybe to make your problems go away). I agree with

that ultimately no motive can survive the Work but dang if I

don't still find motives.

I brought this up because I am noticing some old habits and patterns

come up and some pain associated with it. Yet I don't find much desire

to move out of that. It's masochistic and I'm tired of me when I'm

there. (Is that true?) Maybe I just have a high tolerance for pain or

maybe my awareness is becoming more acute and as old patterns come up

the pain is more noticable.

As I write this post I'm beginning to think you're right. Maybe I'm

making this too complicated and I just need to do the Work on this

subject and see what's at the root of my discomfort. Action will

follow organically.

on it goes...

doug

July 21, 2002

" Lastly, can you really know that you have left your realization " in

> the mental realm " ? Can you really know that you haven't

> " brought the new awareness forth into your life " ? It might be

> worth investigating. "

Thanks , No I can't say for sure if I haven't brought the

awareness forth. although last night my wife said she was tired of me

obsessing over " my stuff " . She said it's not working to be doing this

work and why don't I get my head out of books and analyzing my crap and

just live. and she's right. sometimes I ignore my family and real

problems and I'm off in some mental place that's out of touch. Missing

the gift in the moment. Hmmm I think I'm seeing the confusion a bit

clearer already.

I appreciate hearing your suggestions and how the turn-arounds worked

for you. Yes it might be small increments I looking at here. I don't

care how long it takes but I sometimes feel like time is running out.

And how does it feel to attach to the thought that time is running out?

Nervous.

Thank God for the Work.

Doug

> Dear Doug,

> One possible way to live the turnarounds is to go through your

> worksheets and make amends to the people you wrote about,

> (not unlike steps 8 and 9 of the 12 Steps of AA). In my

> experience, it was me all along -- never them, and this is

> basically what I say to them, plus I apologize for anything hurtful I

> might have said or done. Facing the people who I thought were

> my problem and sharing my realizations has been an amazing

> experience for me and it has brought in much more peace and

> compassion to my life. I also have written letters to my father that

> never got sent, had converstions in my head with my mother,

> sent emails and left voicemails to others when that felt right. It

> seems to work whether I do it in person or not. To go even

> deeper, I read the letters turned around to myself, making

> amends to me as well, because I also have the propensity to

> beat up on myself for my perceived mistakes.

>

> Two other thoughts I had about your post:

> Sometimes our story -- or our denial -- is so big, that it only drops

> incrementally. So we revisit the same belief until it undoes itself.

> This is why we turn number six around to " I look forward to " and

> " I am willing to " (experience the same situation again).

July 21, 2002

hi doug- also living the turn arounds to me means when someone in your life says

something like- gee- i love it when you can just be with me and not get so upset

over......(whatever) like you used to, and i notice that my behavior has

changed. or when i notice that i have done the work on so and so MANY times,

and i don't want to have " lunch with her " , and then one day, i have lunch with

her. laurie s