Re: REALLy bad day and I lost it

[Guest guest]

OH I feel your pain and totally understand!!! My 6 year old has rages

too (never had them off med....I wonder about these meds..sigh) The last time

it happened (about a month ago) they lasted 2DAYS!!! It can push you to the

brink. I have not recovered from it yet...I feel like, what kind of future are

we all going to have??...My daughter...my other daughter, me, my husband...what

is it going to be like? It scares the heck out of me. Every time she has a

melt down I think...this is it. Please know you are not alone. We have kiddos

the same age going through the same thing. If you ever need to vent let me

know.

All shall be well

Robin

>

> Just feeling awful . My 6 yearold had the worst meltdowns he has had in a long

time and at the end of the last one I yelled at him and told him he was going to

live with grandma that I didn't want him living here with this kind of behavior.

He did it all today, I had to carry his 50 pound body from the park in full

tantrum mode, tonight he dumped a box of cereal on the floor then threw over the

coffee table that had loads of stuff on it, hit, kicked, etc. I probably made

his anxiety so bad and I apologized but I felt like I was at my wits end. Now I

feel like I am the worst of all mothers and that this meltdown stuff will

never,ever end, ever. And I blew it with him.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi . I have a seven year old boy and have had many days like that.

Sometimes it helps to realize that we should give ourselves as much mercy as we

give the kids. You suffer almost as much as he does, but in different ways. We

won't be perfect parents any more than they will be perfect kids. I know it

stinks because we so want to help these little guys and sometimes it feels like

we've just made it worse, and maybe we have for the moment. If you step back

though, and look at the whole picture, you know you have made his life so much

better because of your love and steadfast care.

Once when my husband were really feeling at our wits end we jokingly told a

friend who asked us how are son was doing, " We're considering foster care. " She

laughed and said, " I think you're too old. " We all had a good laugh. Be kind

and merciful to yourself. You are a good mom and you're doing a great job under

circumstances most people wouldn't even believe.

Walk by Faith

Tyler

________________________________

To:

Sent: Wednesday, March 18, 2009 8:58:24 PM

Subject: REALLy bad day and I lost it

Just feeling awful . My 6 yearold had the worst meltdowns he has had in a long

time and at the end of the last one I yelled at him and told him he was going to

live with grandma that I didn't want him living here with this kind of behavior.

He did it all today, I had to carry his 50 pound body from the park in full

tantrum mode, tonight he dumped a box of cereal on the floor then threw over the

coffee table that had loads of stuff on it, hit, kicked, etc. I probably made

his anxiety so bad and I apologized but I felt like I was at my wits end. Now I

feel like I am the worst of all mothers and that this meltdown stuff will

never,ever end, ever. And I blew it with him.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

If I told you how many times I have done and said things, you wouldn't believe

it! Children with these kinds of behaviors can really push your buttons.

When I do this, I take some breaths and tell myself , Okay tomorrow is a new

day, and i'm going to start over and be the best I can be.Apologize to your son,

so he realizes that you make mistakes too, and tell him you love him.

You are only human!

I can only speak for myself, but I'm pretty sure everyone here has been through

this before!!!

Hugs

judy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Wednesday, March 18, 2009 8:58:24 PM

Subject: REALLy bad day and I lost it

Just feeling awful . My 6 yearold had the worst meltdowns he has had in a long

time and at the end of the last one I yelled at him and told him he was going to

live with grandma that I didn't want him living here with this kind of behavior.

He did it all today, I had to carry his 50 pound body from the park in full

tantrum mode, tonight he dumped a box of cereal on the floor then threw over the

coffee table that had loads of stuff on it, hit, kicked, etc. I probably made

his anxiety so bad and I apologized but I felt like I was at my wits end. Now I

feel like I am the worst of all mothers and that this meltdown stuff will

never,ever end, ever. And I blew it with him.

[Guest guest]

The fact that you feel bad about means that you are not a terrible mom. Can you

remember anything your parents said when you were a child that you forgave them

for saying? I could make a very long list! Your son will eventually see things

for what they are and it'll be OK.

You're only human and I think it's good for kids to see that. Our kids realize

that they have problems that make them different from ordinary and it must be a

comfort to them to know that they don't have to grow up to be perfect. They

have good role models who also have faults! Putting pressure on yourself to

always behave the best way is not teaching your child that it's OK to make

mistakes and be different.

Best wishes,

Bonnie

>

> Just feeling awful . My 6 yearold had the worst meltdowns he has had in a long

time and at the end of the last one I yelled at him and told him he was going to

live with grandma that I didn't want him living here with this kind of behavior.

He did it all today, I had to carry his 50 pound body from the park in full

tantrum mode, tonight he dumped a box of cereal on the floor then threw over the

coffee table that had loads of stuff on it, hit, kicked, etc. I probably made

his anxiety so bad and I apologized but I felt like I was at my wits end. Now I

feel like I am the worst of all mothers and that this meltdown stuff will

never,ever end, ever. And I blew it with him.

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Just feeling awful . My 6 yearold had the worst meltdowns he has had

in a long time and at the end of the last one I yelled at him and told

him he was going to live with grandma that I didn't want him living here

with this kind of behavior. He did it all today, I had to carry his 50

pound body from the park in full tantrum mode, tonight he dumped a box

of cereal on the floor then threw over the coffee table that had loads

of stuff on it, hit, kicked, etc. I probably made his anxiety so bad and

I apologized but I felt like I was at my wits end. Now I feel like I am

the worst of all mothers and that this meltdown stuff will never,ever

end, ever. And I blew it with him.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you EVERYONE for you kind words ! They mean so much. Today was bad but it

helped to have these messages to read.

>

> OH I feel your pain and totally understand!!! My 6 year old has

rages too (never had them off med....I wonder about these meds..sigh) The last

time it happened (about a month ago) they lasted 2DAYS!!! It can push you to

the brink. I have not recovered from it yet...I feel like, what kind of future

are we all going to have??...My daughter...my other daughter, me, my

husband...what is it going to be like? It scares the heck out of me. Every

time she has a melt down I think...this is it. Please know you are not alone.

We have kiddos the same age going through the same thing. If you ever need to

vent let me know.

>

> All shall be well

>

> Robin

>

[Guest guest]

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who replyed to me. I t helped me get

through another tough day. I posted this already but don't know where it went!

> >

> > Just feeling awful . My 6 yearold had the worst meltdowns he has had

> in a long time and at the end of the last one I yelled at him and told

> him he was going to live with grandma that I didn't want him living here

> with this kind of behavior. He did it all today, I had to carry his 50

> pound body from the park in full tantrum mode, tonight he dumped a box

> of cereal on the floor then threw over the coffee table that had loads

> of stuff on it, hit, kicked, etc. I probably made his anxiety so bad and

> I apologized but I felt like I was at my wits end. Now I feel like I am

> the worst of all mothers and that this meltdown stuff will never,ever

> end, ever. And I blew it with him.

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Just feeling awful . My 6 yearold had the worst meltdowns he has had in a long

time and at the end of the last one I yelled at him and told him he was going to

live with grandma that I didn't want him living here with this kind of behavior.

He did it all today, I had to carry his 50 pound body from the park in full

tantrum mode, tonight he dumped a box of cereal on the floor then threw over the

coffee table that had loads of stuff on it, hit, kicked, etc. I probably made

his anxiety so bad and I apologized but I felt like I was at my wits end. Now I

feel like I am the worst of all mothers and that this meltdown stuff will

never,ever end, ever. And I blew it with him.

>

>

I can relate to how you feel. You are definately not alone in this. Last night I

felt like I couldn't take this anymore and told my son again that he has a

disorder and needs to continue with therapy. The sad part about it is nothing

has worked for him up to this point so I don't even want to discuss it with him

anymore. I pretty much shut him down, just couldn't deal with another day of the

same thing.

I wish you the best

Pam

[Guest guest]

Hang in there Pam. It is a long haul and drag on your energy when nothing is

working and you feel stuck right along with them. We are past this place now,

but I remember it, it is hard not to want to just give up, and sometimes you

just do. Think they understand this, as they hate it too, and there is no

escape for them...

It WILL get better!

Barb

> >

> I can relate to how you feel. You are definately not alone in this. Last night

I felt like I couldn't take this anymore and told my son again that he has a

disorder and needs to continue with therapy. The sad part about it is nothing

has worked for him up to this point so I don't even want to discuss it with him

anymore. I pretty much shut him down, just couldn't deal with another day of the

same thing.

> I wish you the best

> Pam

>