Re: New to the group

February 15, 2002

Hi and all sweet beings,

Welcome angel. Just keep reading the posts - you might enjoy reading

the earlier ones - I read them all. Write to us. You are us. As I

wrote that, I realized it's truer to say you are our story of you.

A few bits and pieces, in other words, a few thoughts:

Lana,how beautiful to feel 'in love'. Blessed day.

I was a little sad to hear say 's smile wasn't so

explosive.However,

I'm feeling a lot more peace around the facelift. One could even

think was courageous, to fly in the face of spiritual

convention. But that's not even true, she was just doing the dishes.

Yesterday, I heard say on a tape, 'Until you find YOU totally

attractice, your work's not done.'I can see this is my job.

Carol, that's an interesting definition ' jealousy is the cojoined

twin of love '. What does it mean? I always saw jealousy as a form of

fear, and fear being as defines it: I might lose something I

have or I won't get what I want. When I'm jealous of somebody, I'm

afraid I won't get that thing or state that I'm wanting. I am a Four

on the Enneagram, quite intimate with jealousy. These times it

revolves around people who are more evolved, freer than me.

Love to you all,

Margaret

> Hi

> My name is and I have been doing the work for over a year

now. I

> have found it more beneficial in helping me see my judgements than

> anything else. Inner freedom!

>

> Would like to hear more about the group.

>

> Love and Peace

>

February 15, 2002

>>Yesterday, I heard say on a tape, 'Until you find YOU totally

attractice, your work's not done.'I can see this is my job.<<

Mine too.

>>Carol, that's an interesting definition 'jealousy is the cojoined

twin of love '. What does it mean?<<

Here's what I think it means: it's a turnaround. I can't be jealous

of you if I don't love what I think you are, and that's me. What I

see in the person of whom I'm jealous is what I think I am not;

investigated this is what I am too; and that is what I want and what I

love. Simply put, if I say you are beautiful, I am seeing myself. If

I'm jealous because I think you are beautiful (loved, lovable, lucky,

successful, happy, secure, enlightened) and I think I am not, I'm

confused; I haven't inquired.

There's a Hindu story about a demon who hated Lord Krishna. He

couldn't stand the beautiful god, resented him and all the adulation

he received. This demon spent all of his time thinking about Krishna

and as such, even though the thoughts were " negative, " he became

Krishna. He merged with him. Yogis say that we become what we

meditate on, but in The Work we might say he was already Krishna; if

we believe we are demons and we find that stressful, we can turn that

around.

I had an interesting experience at the Cleanse. There was an exercise

where we looked into the eyes of the person next to us while the song

" The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face " was playing. My neighbor was a

woman, probably close to me in age. She was blonde, blue-eyed,

fair-skinned, really quite lovely, and, I thought, could not have been

more different from me had she been from Mars. The more I looked at

her face the more I saw my own. Seriously, there were all these

things about her face that were just like mine. Little lines, bumps,

the shape of her nose, the way her eyelashes grew, the shape of her

chin, her hairline...small things, but so many of them, a true mirror

image. It was amazing to me to see that, and to see that my

comparisons and judgments -- she's prettier than I, she's nothing like

me -- weren't true. It was an undoing, it was The Work! (duh)

And...she told me she had exactly the same experience. I'm guessing

this would have happened no matter who I was paired with. The first

time ever I saw my face....

>>I always saw jealousy as a form of

fear, and fear being as defines it: I might lose something I

have or I won't get what I want. When I'm jealous of somebody, I'm

afraid I won't get that thing or state that I'm wanting. I am a Four

on the Enneagram, quite intimate with jealousy. These times it

revolves around people who are more evolved, freer than me.<<

I hear you -- I don't know much about the Enneagram but from what

little I've read I think I am a 4 also, and I definitely envy people

who I think are free! And they're free, can we really know that it's

true?

Oh, and a belated Warm Welcome to !

Love,

Carol

May 21, 2002

Hi ,

Thats great that you have already been practising

meditation for a chunk of time !!

--from my own experiences I can tell you that I found

the vipassana I did useful, but hard to commit to on a

regular basis and with no great lasting sense of

peace during the day after my practice ------

I tried the Osho meditations for a long time, and

found them often to take me to stillness and

beautiful release especially kundalini and

dynamic,although with little carry over of that during

the day ----- and I felt the same way with the

meditation taught by an American teacher

Cohen,though I love his books and teaching . ----

It wasnt until recently ,until I began reading and

studying the book, The Power of Now, and listening to

the tapes of Eckhart Tolle that Ive finally found the

meditation that seems right for me--------I havent met

him in person ,yet listening to the tapes he almost

seems to be in the room with me.

and that is ,to detach the consciousness from the

mind to the body ,feel the body ,and feel the

aliveness ,or the energy body ,that is present inside

the body ,--he also suggests tai chi as a way of

feeling that aliveness inside the body,that is the

stillness of peace --chi kung is another possible way

if you bring presence to the practice ---

as he suggests ,you can begin by feeling this in the

hands ,and then in hold that in your awareness ,bring

presence and you are there ,and with practice you can

feel and be present with the stillness (that is an

alert stillness )in most or all of the body ,--

-as he says ,the beautiful thing is that there are no

steps, and no waiting ,as with other meditation

techniques, since many people meditate for many years

and are waiting for the stillness to arrive and

sometimes it does ,and often there is the waiting

,where you are not available to the aliveness of the

moment ,since you are waiting for something to

happen,you are the mind waiting that is not at peace

with what is in the moment. -----

,there is nowhere to arrive to , since you are

connecting with the aliveness that is already there

,and then ,you are there ,and what I am discovering

is that there are times when I can hold this stillness

when I am walking and out having a coffee, instead of

having this stillness present only at the times when

I meditate .

I really credit doing " the work " on a daily basis as

being the source of the spaciousness I often feel in

my heart, and often this feels like a wonderful

reservoir of peace whatever is going on in my life and

whatever thoughts about my past rise and fall in my

consciousness.

So ,doing " the work " on the haziness youve been

experiencing and the confusion about which approach to

choose, may bring you to more peace with what is ,as

it is ---the confusion etc ,and then from there, you

may find that the heart chooses the technique for

you,that you dont have to choose , as you come back to

being at greater peace with what is reality at the

moment.

Hope this helps ,take care ,.

--- cromanyak wrote:

<HR>

<tt>

Hi my name is Chris. I'm 21. I've been practicing

meditation for

about a year now, trying to discover some peace with

myself. Lately

things have been really hazy. There's soo many

practices I'm not sure

which one is for me. Zazen, Vipassana, now I'm trying

some of Osho's

meditations, and now I'm more confused than ever. What

to do?

with metta

Chris

</tt>

<td align=center><font size= " -1 "

color=#003399>

June 20, 2002

Has any one in the group heard of Bays. There is an upcoming seminar

this weekend in Sanfrancisco. She has published a book called the Journey.

This is about her recovery from a football size tumor within 6 weeks after she

had an insight into a process she discovered. I have'nt read the book, only the

reviews. Apparently she was associated with Tony Robbins.

Please let me know if any one has any inputs. Thanks.

Suren

Perfect

Came across this the other day (i've forgotten where):

Nobody is perfect.

I'm nobody.

Therefore,

I am perfect.

--

(aka Gypsy)

gypsywin@...

" A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men " --

Roald Dahl, " Charlie and the Chocolate Factory "

June 8, 2006

Aloha Ria! Welcome to " the group " ! But as usual, I'm sure we'd wish

it were for better reasons.

I took Celexa for only 18 months and had every ED problem a guy

could have. I could STILL get and erection and and orgasm with a LOT

of work from masturbation, but forget just (just?!?) making-loving.

So far, I haven't heard of any " magic pill " . Sorry. It seems to be

so much more complicated than that. From what I've learned here in

the short time I've been here (2-3 months?), I'm astonished at what

actually goes into libido and orgasm!

Yours is the first I've heard from about Cymbalta and was really

hoping it would NOT be the same as other SSRI anti-d's, however, I

see it's the same. Too bad.

The good news is and it's also good news about this group is 99% of

all my sexual dysfunctions have disappeared!

I certainly hope there are others that have something to help you. I

just cannot see how taking even MORE Cymbalta, even with Wellbutrin,

could possibly help. But I'm not a Dr. so.....

Welcome again and I'm sure others will be here to offer odvice.

Aloha for now,

Hawaiian Wayne

>

> Hello. I am new to this group. I too am suffering from the

effects of

> a SNRI called Cymbalta. I no longer have sexual drive OR orgasm. It

> did not happen overnight - it just happened over time. Sneaky

meds...

>

> Is there a list of antidotes to try that you folks have come up

with?

>

> I am willing to _try anything_ at this point. My psych says to take

> drug holidays. He also says that Wellbutrin taken along with the

> Cymbalta can help. Has anyone take Wellbutrin also to bolster drive

> and orgasm?

>

> Any advice you can give is appreciated. I am female but feel free

to

> chat as women also have these problems...

>

> Ria!

>

June 10, 2006

Aloha Vornan! I'm NOT ignoring you at all. I have just been busy

with another project in order to get ready for yet another round of

PROCEDURES due to my Chronic Pain TURNED Intractable Pain. So sorry.

Well, since the first thing I did was have my Testosterone levels

checked and found that they were almost non-existant, I've now taken

about 6-7 shots of " T " Depo-t. Within the very FIRST WEEK I could

feel my libido increase dramatically. I watched and waited for any

nasty side effects,m but all I could tell was I AND MY WIFE felt

everything that had to do with me sexually increased in quantity and

as time ever so slowly passed, QUALITY!!! Well....obviously since I

disovered that, a member from the hypogonadosm2 group gave me this

board and I was HORRIFIED to find out that the20mgs of Celexa I was

taking could damage me PERMANENTLY! I quickly tapered down from

20mgs to 5mgs with my doctors help and in so doing, AGAIN,

everything sexually increased in quantity and the QUALITY kept

getting better!!! We were like kids on Christmas morning....we

actually HAD to REMEMBER how we used to be almost 10 years ago

because we thought we were getting perverse or obsessed with making

love. And IT MADE LOVE too!

Since the Dexadrine was for " wakefulness " and my insurance company

wouldn't let my doc prescribe Provigil until I tried ritalin (yuck)

and Dexadrine first, the " Dex " turned out to be a real 'turn-on' for

ME. I'd forgotten just how horney (horny?) stimulants made me!!!

However, the " Dex " makes me a little too amorous than my wife gets

and one thing I don't like is making love to her when she really

isn't into it.....I simply DON'T DO IT! It's a two-way street and I

never want to be that kind of husband.

If I really need to have just an orgasm, I know many, many ways to

arrive at one (or two).

But hindsight is 20-20 and I do wish I'd had more time between

the " T " injections and the Celexa tapering so I could tell if

tapering down from the SSRI made all THAT much of a difference. But

I was hungry and so was wifey-poo!

So, what you said about the " Dex " appears to be true Vornan. I hope

I covered all the bases enough for you and anyone else. If not,

please post any questions and I'll do my best with the answers.

Aloha Just For Now,

Hawaiian Wayne

Aloha, I'm a brand new

> > > member ...

> > > So it's been slightly over a month, may the Dexadrine

> > > be affecting your sense of time ?

> > >

> > > I'd be interested to know what my GP could prescribe

> > > dexedrine for, though. My urologist said ADHD (which

> > > seems strange).

> > >

> > > Cheers,

> > >

> > > x JanR

> > >

> > > __________________________________________________

> > >

June 12, 2006

Hi Ria:What dosage of Cymbalta you were on? Have you tried other antidepressant, or only Cymbalta? I am not advocating other ADs. -SteveOn 6/8/06,

riagant wrote:

Hello. I am new to this group. I too am suffering from the effects of

a SNRI called Cymbalta. I no longer have sexual drive OR orgasm. It

did not happen overnight - it just happened over time. Sneaky meds...

Is there a list of antidotes to try that you folks have come up with?

I am willing to _try anything_ at this point. My psych says to take

drug holidays. He also says that Wellbutrin taken along with the

Cymbalta can help. Has anyone take Wellbutrin also to bolster drive

and orgasm?

Any advice you can give is appreciated. I am female but feel free to

chat as women also have these problems...

Ria!

June 12, 2006

Hi Ria,

Welcome

To start, most of us here on this group have decided to quit taking

anti-depressants because of the persistant sexual side effects that

you are experiencing right now.

I take DL-PHENYLALANINE 500 mg. tablets to reduce anxiety and I have

found this to do the trick as opposed to taking Prozac.

If you decide to quit taking Cymbalta, you may have to wean yourself

off it and not stop taking it cold turkey. Many here experienced our

worst time with loss of libido and loss of genital sensation from

quiting cold turkey from these anti-depressants.

Wellbutrin has usually been well recieved from members of this group,

especially females. Although, every one is different so this does not

mean Wellbutrin is the cure-all for everyone.

Your are on the right road, now, 1) not to trust Doctors, and 2)

start making your own informed decisions about your health.

> >

> > Hello. I am new to this group. I too am suffering from the

effects of

> > a SNRI called Cymbalta. I no longer have sexual drive OR orgasm. It

> > did not happen overnight - it just happened over time. Sneaky meds...

> >

> > Is there a list of antidotes to try that you folks have come up with?

> >

> > I am willing to _try anything_ at this point. My psych says to take

> > drug holidays. He also says that Wellbutrin taken along with the

> > Cymbalta can help. Has anyone take Wellbutrin also to bolster drive

> > and orgasm?

> >

> > Any advice you can give is appreciated. I am female but feel free to

> > chat as women also have these problems...

> >

> > Ria!

> >

>

February 23, 2007

This is just my opinion, but I think that going off cold turkey is

what causes the side effects to persist for so long. Even at 12.5mg,

you should have used the 5% or 10% withdrawal method. However, most

doctors do not understand this and they will tell you to make drastic

changes in dose. Psychiatry is a fraudlent branch of medicine. Many

do not get to practice medicine until they are in their 30s and you

would think that with all that schooling they would know what they

are doing, but there is little science behind what they do. They

have no real objective test for any of the 500+ " mental illnesses "

listed in their " psychiatrist's manual " the DSM-IV. We've all been

unfairly experimented on and recieved PSSD...

>

> Hi.

>

> I just joined the group, and I would like to ask a question.

> I started taking Paxil about a month ago, and after noticing the

common side

> affects, I've decided to stop. I was on a very low dosage

(12.5mg, CR).

>

> I've just stopped taking it. Cold turkey was OK due to my low

dosage and

> short time on it, per Dr.'s recommendation.

>

> My question is: Is it common to see permanent side effects from

such a low

> dosage and short duration?

>

> Thanks,

> Chris

>

February 24, 2007

thanks abigail.

should i taper off now, or is it too late?

>

>Reply-To: SSRIsex

>To: SSRIsex

>Subject: Re: Re: new to the group

>Date: Sat, 24 Feb 2007 19:49:33 -0800 (PST)

>

>hi chris,

>

>I agree that quitting cold turkey is a bad idea - a

>lot of us with persistent side effects quit cold

>turkey so please do what you can to taper off slowly

>and carefully, just in case.

>

>that being said, you will probably be just fine. the

>majority of people return to normal, even after a much

>longer time and stronger dose than you. only a very

>small minority of people report long-term side effects

>after only a few weeks or less, so try not to worry

>and congratulations on making the right choice so

>early on.

>

>ag

>

>--- zant808 wrote:

>

> > This is just my opinion, but I think that going off

> > cold turkey is

> > what causes the side effects to persist for so long.

> > Even at 12.5mg,

> > you should have used the 5% or 10% withdrawal

> > method. However, most

> > doctors do not understand this and they will tell

> > you to make drastic

> > changes in dose. Psychiatry is a fraudlent branch

> > of medicine. Many

> > do not get to practice medicine until they are in

> > their 30s and you

> > would think that with all that schooling they would

> > know what they

> > are doing, but there is little science behind what

> > they do. They

> > have no real objective test for any of the 500+

> > " mental illnesses "

> > listed in their " psychiatrist's manual " the DSM-IV.

> > We've all been

> > unfairly experimented on and recieved PSSD...

> >

> > >

> > > Hi.

> > >

> > > I just joined the group, and I would like to ask a

> > question.

> > > I started taking Paxil about a month ago, and

> > after noticing the

> > common side

> > > affects, I've decided to stop. I was on a very

> > low dosage

> > (12.5mg, CR).

> > >

> > > I've just stopped taking it. Cold turkey was OK

> > due to my low

> > dosage and

> > > short time on it, per Dr.'s recommendation.

> > >

> > > My question is: Is it common to see permanent

> > side effects from

> > such a low

> > > dosage and short duration?

> > >

> > > Thanks,

> > > Chris

> > >

> >

>

>_______________________________________________________________________________\

_____

>No need to miss a message. Get email on-the-go

>with Yahoo! Mail for Mobile. Get started.

>http://mobile.yahoo.com/mail

February 25, 2007

good website for tapering/weaningof meds - its theroadback.org - I wish i knew about it earlierAOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at AOL.com.

March 30, 2009

Hi Carolina - We started our daughter in with some theraputic concepts at home

at age 3 - and now, at age 6, we have her with a professional therapist (hers

was in " remission " for about 3 years). Personally, I think that the earlier the

child can learn to " boss back " - the better. I think of it as practicing skills

that she may need to learn for life. The longer she can practice under my roof

with support, the better for her to be able to be independent in the future.

They can make CBT & ERP age appropriate if you find a great doc. You might also

want to just read " Up and Down the Worry Hill " by Aureen Pinto Wagner - she has

a book for parents as well. That was our best starting place. Good luck - I

know how hard this is.

March 30, 2009

**********

I haven't considered therapy yet because I feel he's still very young. Are there

any parents in this group with children diagnosed with OCD as young as my son?

If so, are you receiving therapy?

**********

Welcome, Carolina. Glad you found us.

Our son showed signs of OCD when he was really young. I just didn't know what I

was seeing. I wish I had, and he had been able to get the help he needed then.

Since he started CBT/ERP (cognitive behavioral therapy / exposure and response

prevention), he has been able to get a lot of his OCD rituals under control. The

ones he did that needed to feel " just right " were the easiest for him to

overcome.

From what I've read, doing therapy when they are young is ideal, because as they

continue to struggle with them, the rituals can become more ingrained.

I also have a nephew with OCD. When he was young, he also had an issue with his

hands feeling sticky and wanting to wash them all the time. I had forgotten

about that, until I read your post.

I'm glad you are here. )

BJ

March 30, 2009

Hi Carolina, welcome!

So sorry you're having to deal with OCD on top of everything else. With the

language delay you mentiones, what exactly is the delay? Is it his being able

to speak/talk or his articulation or...? With the high IQ but problems

learning, have they identified a learning disability? Glad he's doing better in

that EELP setting. He has lots of years of school ahead, best to get all the

basics down well before putting more learning & work on him. Sounds like he's

very frustrated too, not wanting to work on it at home.

What are some of the things he wants " just so " ?

Have you talked to him yet about OCD? There are some good books out for young

kids about OCD. Once he learns what is OCD and that he needs to boss it back,

he & you could do things like choose something he wants " just so " and mess it up

in some way; see how long he can stand it that way before getting it " just so. "

Or if he has routines he just HAS to do, mess up the routine maybe. Of course

you don't tackle all the stuff at once, choose 1 or 2 easier things to work on.

With soccer - well he is just 5. Having had 3 sons who played soccer (sons now

ages 24 and twins are 20; a twin has OCD), I remember that age! Do you think

he understands the game? Is he excited about playing it? Also am wondering -

with the mention of his struggle with learning letters & numbers, could some of

that difficulty (whatever is causing it) carry over to the soccer or other

things?

Sorry for all the questions! But glad you found our group. My son's OCD began

in 6th grade, though he had his quirks before that. He also has Aspergers

Syndrome, mild I guess. Also a dysgraphia diagnosis that he got when his

handwriting changed after OCD began, became illegible. But then he already had

some fine motor skills difficulties too.

single mom, 3 sons

, 20, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers

>

> My name is Carolina and I'm new to the group. My son (5 years old) has been

> diagnosed with OCD recently (he also has ADHD). I'm so glad I found this

> group. It's great to see that I'm not alone and that other people

March 30, 2009

Hi Carolina,

I have a 5yo daughter diagnosed with OCD. She also has Asperger's and ADHD. So

you definitely are not alone!

I was thinking, if your son has a high IQ and is having trouble learning his

letters, etc.. then there may be a learning disability.

My 8yo daughter, also with Asperger's and OCD tendencies (no OCD diagnosis) has

an IQ of 140, but she scored at grade level in all subjects on the

psychologist's tests (except spelling, which was below grade level). This is

called an IQ/achievement descrepency and usually indicates a learning

disability. I have yet to figure out what my daughter's LD is. I'm still

studying! I suspect dyslexic dysgraphia, but not totally sure. My oldest

daughter (11yo) also with a gifted IQ and Asperger's (and OCD) has dyscalculia

and dysgraphia. So she struggles with handwriting, pen to paper tasking, and

also math. Very gifted children who have learning disabilities usually appear

" normal " to the school because their giftedness compensates for the LD. My

daughter works *just* below grade level in math, but if her IQ were in the

average range, I'm sure she would be a few years behind. We homeschool so I am

able to let my children work at a pace

that suits them for each subject.

Welcome to the group!

Misty

________________________________

To:

Sent: Monday, March 30, 2009 12:01:49 PM

Subject: New to the group

My name is Carolina and I'm new to the group. My son (5 years old) has been

diagnosed with OCD recently (he also has ADHD). I'm so glad I found this

group. It's great to see that I'm not alone and that other people

experience similar situations.

My son is in Kindergarten. He's funny, smart, and very creative. Even

though things have gotten better at school, we had a very rough start. He

was mainstreamed last year into a regular Kindergarten class (mainly due to

his high IQ scores), but unfortunately this was not the best decision. He

definitely still needed extra support and dedication, and a regular

classroom setting was not adequate for him. He has been struggling

incredibly this year to learn his letters and numbers, and it has been

extremely frustrating for him. He's also had a lot of behavioral issues

related to his OCD, including obsessing over little things, such as his shoe

laces being a certain way, and wanting things " just so. " He also has a

language delay and is currently receiving therapy at school. His current

teachers have been very helpful in trying to find ways to best deal with

him, but it hasn't been easy. And, after numerous IEP meetings, they have

him spending a couple of hours a day with the EELP group again (and since,

he's been doing better). EELP is a special education setting to assist with

school readiness skills here in Florida. The teachers have already told me

that they're looking at retention this next year because he's not ready to

go to 1st grade. I can't even help him at home with these skills because he

literally " hates " doing any of it.

We're currently seeing a psychiatrist at the University of South Florida,

and he's taking medication for his anxiety. We all feel overall he's doing

much better, but it's still a challenge. I also have another son diagnosed

with Sensory Integration Disorder, ADHD, and Semantics & Pragmatics Disorder

(considered by some to be on the Autism Spectrum).

I also struggle with him at home. He wants certain things to be " just so, "

and if I don't agree with him, he gets very upset. To the point where I

feel I can't even negotiate, so I just let it go.He is also a very " needy "

child. I feel he demands so much attention - it's exhausting!! He also

whines a lot, and when he gets mad, sometimes he " hugs " me really tight, or

" pinches " me. It's also very hard to put him in " time-out " - he gets very

upset about it!!

Another area I find difficult is getting him to practice " group " sports. It

is such a challenge!! Right now we're doing soccer, but it's been a battle.

He doesn't listen to me or to the coach; he plays whenever he feels like it,

or when things just feel " right " to him.

I haven't considered therapy yet because I feel he's still very young. Are

there any parents in this group with children diagnosed with OCD as young as

my son? If so, are you receiving therapy?

Anyhow, sorry for such a long post.I just wanted to give you a summary on

his background. Looking forward to being part of the group!!

Thanks!

Carolina Pachano

March 31, 2009

Thanks, Misty!

Yes, when my son was evaluated by the school psychologist, she stated in the

report that she suspected there was a learning disability due to the IQ /

achievement discrepancy.

I, too, don't know what that LD might be at this point, but time will tell -

I think that could be the reason why he's struggling with learning

letters/numbers.

I'm going to look into some of the LD's you mentioned. Thanks!!

Carolina

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of md l

Sent: Monday, March 30, 2009 11:52 PM

To:

Subject: Re: New to the group

Hi Carolina,

I have a 5yo daughter diagnosed with OCD. She also has Asperger's and ADHD.

So you definitely are not alone!

I was thinking, if your son has a high IQ and is having trouble learning his

letters, etc.. then there may be a learning disability.

My 8yo daughter, also with Asperger's and OCD tendencies (no OCD diagnosis)

has an IQ of 140, but she scored at grade level in all subjects on the

psychologist's tests (except spelling, which was below grade level). This

is called an IQ/achievement descrepency and usually indicates a learning

disability. I have yet to figure out what my daughter's LD is. I'm still

studying! I suspect dyslexic dysgraphia, but not totally sure. My oldest

daughter (11yo) also with a gifted IQ and Asperger's (and OCD) has

dyscalculia and dysgraphia. So she struggles with handwriting, pen to paper

tasking, and also math. Very gifted children who have learning disabilities

usually appear " normal " to the school because their giftedness compensates

for the LD. My daughter works *just* below grade level in math, but if her

IQ were in the average range, I'm sure she would be a few years behind. We

homeschool so I am able to let my children work at a pace

that suits them for each subject.

Welcome to the group!

Misty

March 31, 2009

My son started therapy when he was 5yrs old. He was not able to grasp ERP

therapy, but I believe it did help him to learn that he had something that made

him think scary thoughts and feel bad and that he was not a bad boy. He would

sit with the therapist and play a game with her while they talked and he would

tell about the things he was afraid of and she'd say things " like those scary

thoughts are terrible for trying to upset a nice boy like you, you must get

angry about that " ect....Long story short, it helped him begin to be ready for

more intense therapy and it helped preserve his feelings about himself and to

conceptualize these scary thoughts as something outside himself.

Bonnie

>

> **********

> I haven't considered therapy yet because I feel he's still very young. Are

there any parents in this group with children diagnosed with OCD as young as my

son? If so, are you receiving therapy?

> **********

>

> Welcome, Carolina. Glad you found us.

>

> Our son showed signs of OCD when he was really young. I just didn't know what

I was seeing. I wish I had, and he had been able to get the help he needed

then. Since he started CBT/ERP (cognitive behavioral therapy / exposure and

response prevention), he has been able to get a lot of his OCD rituals under

control. The ones he did that needed to feel " just right " were the easiest for

him to overcome.

>

> From what I've read, doing therapy when they are young is ideal, because as

they continue to struggle with them, the rituals can become more ingrained.

>

> I also have a nephew with OCD. When he was young, he also had an issue with

his hands feeling sticky and wanting to wash them all the time. I had forgotten

about that, until I read your post.

>

> I'm glad you are here. )

>

> BJ

>

March 31, 2009

We started therapy out of necessity (she was starting to avoid food, all kids,

playgrounds - she dials OCD up to Panic & Agoraphobia pretty quickly if we are

not actively working on it)at age 3 - and you can do it at pretty much any age,

I think, if you make it age appropriate and fun, and take it in tiny steps.

Maybe this plan will be appropriate for your family - or maybe it will give you

a few ideas. We are still learning every day, but here's what we did at 3 years

old:

* We named the anxiety/OCD in her head as the worryman (some people use names

like " meany " , etc). Some people imaging this as a worry bug that whispers mean

things.

* We agreed that calling the worryman names such as stupid or mean were " ok " ,

even though we don't use those words with other people. She really loved this.

* We learned to boss the worryman back.

* I would help her dial her anxiety down by having her repeat a few phrases with

me - usually took 2-5 times and then the worry would go away. (I would say a

sentence, she would repeat - usually in tears at first) Ex: " That's just the

worryman. I will not throw up if I play on the playground. I love the

playground. I can do anything I want to do " . We discussed these words AHEAD of

an OCD momment - a lot! We practiced all the time, until I could say to her,

" do you want to say the worry words with mommy " .

* Then VERY SLOWLY, we started to boss back by exposure. So if she was afraid

of swings - we would talk about it ahead of time, and decided if today, we just

wanted to walk by the park, but across the street. If we made it, we would

scream & yell & celebrate & boss the worry man. If we did not make it, we'd

figure out something else for the next day. If we made it, we'd work our way

slowly to the park. We might make a game out of running up to the swing,

pushing it, and then running away screaming with joy. It was a LOT of work, but

once she started to boss back, it started to move more quickly. Eventually, she

would swing again, without a care in her head - and little memory of the work

that it took to get there. I'd be all drained & she'd be happily swinging.

Hard to explain to anyone else why I deserved chocolate & a pat on the back, so

be ready to just reward yourself.

* We involved her dad, by letting her smash the worryman and then her dad would

put it down the garbage disposal. This worked great during the " magical " age -

but is useless now that she is 6-7. You'll have to figure out where your son is

- emotionally/intellecutally, and then try things and see if they work.

* For a few weeks, I spent an hour every night after she was asleep, planning

the next day. What were we going to do, how was I going to work exposure in

tiny steps, what did I want to teach her if she had a receptive teachable

moment. What language would I use. Pretty quickly, she came to love this - and

gets the most frustrated if she " gives in " . She is very bossy naturally!

The frustrating thing is that there are not a lot of resources for the young

child. I went to many docs/therapist that just sort of looked amazed that I'd

be looking for help for a young child. We have OCD/Turrets in our family (3

cousins, and uncle, etc), so we could spot it really early - we just could not

find help.

If you work on your plan there are a couple of books that are really helpful.

What to do when your Child has OCD: Strategies and Solutions - by Aureen Pinto

Wagner and Freeing Your Child from OCD: Powerful Practical Program for Parents -

by Tamar Chansky. One of the reasons that I joined this group is because they

answer questions - and they are both my personal heros - I am not exaggerating

to say that they saved my child.

Ok, sorry this was so long! I have also done a blog of our experiences both to

keep myself sane & remind myself of things that worked in the past. Let me know

if you want the link.

Our goal, that I try to keep in mind every day, is to coach her to the skills

that she will need as a successful adolesent and adult. I am very grateful (on

my good days ) to have the chance to coach her as a young child, that is

pretty open to the idea. Every " episode " is getting a little less intense.

Baby steps!

March 31, 2009

When our son was 14 and in crisis, we were searching for a therapist that truly

understood OCD and how to treat it. Sadly, we had trouble finding someone to

take him too. We have very few therapists in our state that understand how to

treat OCD to begin with, but almost all wouldn't take anyone until they were

over 18. The lack of qualified therapists out there is horrible, but then

trying to find one to take a kid is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

It took us about 3 months of me making daily calls, to finally find a therapist

to help. Sad, sad, sad.

BJ

March 31, 2009

Wow, I am so impressed with how much effort you have put into getting your

daughter over her fears! Good for you and thanks for posting this... Very

helpful!!

Misty

________________________________

To:

Sent: Tuesday, March 31, 2009 10:54:33 AM

Subject: Re: New to the group

We started therapy out of necessity (she was starting to avoid food, all kids,

playgrounds - she dials OCD up to Panic & Agoraphobia pretty quickly if we are

not actively working on it)at age 3 - and you can do it at pretty much any age,

I think, if you make it age appropriate and fun, and take it in tiny steps.

Maybe this plan will be appropriate for your family - or maybe it will give you

a few ideas. We are still learning every day, but here's what we did at 3 years

old:

* We named the anxiety/OCD in her head as the worryman (some people use names

like " meany " , etc). Some people imaging this as a worry bug that whispers mean

things.

* We agreed that calling the worryman names such as stupid or mean were " ok " ,

even though we don't use those words with other people. She really loved this.

* We learned to boss the worryman back.

* I would help her dial her anxiety down by having her repeat a few phrases with

me - usually took 2-5 times and then the worry would go away. (I would say a

sentence, she would repeat - usually in tears at first) Ex: " That's just the

worryman. I will not throw up if I play on the playground. I love the

playground. I can do anything I want to do " . We discussed these words AHEAD of

an OCD momment - a lot! We practiced all the time, until I could say to her, " do

you want to say the worry words with mommy " .

* Then VERY SLOWLY, we started to boss back by exposure. So if she was afraid of

swings - we would talk about it ahead of time, and decided if today, we just

wanted to walk by the park, but across the street. If we made it, we would

scream & yell & celebrate & boss the worry man. If we did not make it, we'd

figure out something else for the next day. If we made it, we'd work our way

slowly to the park. We might make a game out of running up to the swing, pushing

it, and then running away screaming with joy. It was a LOT of work, but once she

started to boss back, it started to move more quickly. Eventually, she would

swing again, without a care in her head - and little memory of the work that it

took to get there. I'd be all drained & she'd be happily swinging. Hard to

explain to anyone else why I deserved chocolate & a pat on the back, so be ready

to just reward yourself.

* We involved her dad, by letting her smash the worryman and then her dad would

put it down the garbage disposal. This worked great during the " magical " age -

but is useless now that she is 6-7. You'll have to figure out where your son is

- emotionally/ intellecutally, and then try things and see if they work.

* For a few weeks, I spent an hour every night after she was asleep, planning

the next day. What were we going to do, how was I going to work exposure in tiny

steps, what did I want to teach her if she had a receptive teachable moment.

What language would I use. Pretty quickly, she came to love this - and gets the

most frustrated if she " gives in " . She is very bossy naturally!

The frustrating thing is that there are not a lot of resources for the young

child. I went to many docs/therapist that just sort of looked amazed that I'd be

looking for help for a young child. We have OCD/Turrets in our family (3

cousins, and uncle, etc), so we could spot it really early - we just could not

find help.

If you work on your plan there are a couple of books that are really helpful.

What to do when your Child has OCD: Strategies and Solutions - by Aureen Pinto

Wagner and Freeing Your Child from OCD: Powerful Practical Program for Parents -

by Tamar Chansky. One of the reasons that I joined this group is because they

answer questions - and they are both my personal heros - I am not exaggerating

to say that they saved my child.

Ok, sorry this was so long! I have also done a blog of our experiences both to

keep myself sane & remind myself of things that worked in the past. Let me know

if you want the link.

Our goal, that I try to keep in mind every day, is to coach her to the skills

that she will need as a successful adolesent and adult. I am very grateful (on

my good days ) to have the chance to coach her as a young child, that is

pretty open to the idea. Every " episode " is getting a little less intense. Baby

steps!

July 20, 2009

Welcome to the group.? I have a 7 year old daughter who was recently diagnosed

but whom I've suspected of having OCD since she was 3.? We've been through the

apologizing and also watched her not participate in activities (usually because

she's afraid she will throw up).? It's heartbreaking.? Now that we're all

learning how to respond (or in some cases, not respond) she's doing much

better.? It's all still new to us and I never feel like I'm the right person to

give advice but one thing that usually helps when she keeps apologizing is

to ask her if she thinks it's OCD or her who wants her to apologize.? Usually

she's able to recognize it as OCD and stop.? Good luck to you and your family.

Missy in OH

New to the group

Hello All,

My 5yr old daughter was recently diagnosed with OCD. We always noticed some

quirky behaviors of hers since she was little and they would subside here and

there. This past May, my husband and I were getting ready to put our home on

the market and also start our girl in summer camp. All these changes at once

caused a sudden checking and rechecking behavior that was nonstop. Things have

slowed a little bit in this area but she still is dealing with a lot. We've

moved through the basic ritual of hers which was hand washing. This was easier

than what the future ones will entail. She apologizes all the time, for

everything. She doesn't want to do something wrong and it actually will prevent

her from participating in games and fun activities with her group at camp.

Things need to done right and if she's not sure she can do them right the first

time then she may opt out of trying them at all. This is heartbreaking for a

parent to see as I'm sure everyone on this site already knows. But this is new

for her daddy and I (and her 2yr old brother). It's hard to watch her miss out

on something because of these thoughts. It's also tough to try to get through

one her episodes without taking time from her brother. She's a bright,

beautiful, sweet and loving little girl. I wish I could fix this for her but

realize I can't. I can only help her try to come to the decision herself that

she wants to control the ocd and not let it control her. For a 5 year old, that

is a tough thing to do. I'm happy that I've found this site. Our therapist and

Dr Wagner's book encouraged us to look for support here. Any feedback or advice

you can give us (knowing what it was like to first start dealing with this

illness yourselves) is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

________________________________________________________________________

Email message sent from CompuServe - visit us today at http://www.cs.com

July 21, 2009

Welcome to the group!

One thing that works in our family is to make a character out of the OCD and

teach our child to be in control of that character. For my son's anxiety, we

invented " Warren the Worrier " who's one of those cartoon characters that sits on

his shoulder whispering worry thoughts into his ear. Or Edgar the Angry who

flies into a tizzy fit if something goes wrong. It's helped my son take charge

and separate his own identity from the disease (in his case it's PANDAS, not

classic OCD).

My 4 yr old daughter who doesn't have OCD also finds this strategy helpful to

conquer her fears. In her case, we've invented " fairies " and " angels " . The

fairies try to trick her into being afraid of something (bugs, the dark, etc)

and her job is to yell at the fairies and tell them that they can't trick her.

The angels come to help her when she needs extra strength to flick the fairies

off her shoulder (sometimes she makes the angels beat up the fairies with their

wands).

It helps my daughter feel included - sounds crazy, but the other sibling can

actually get jealous of the attention that a disease gives to the other sibling.

So by giving them each their own characters to boss back, it makes them each

feel like my son is less different. (of course, the rest of the world thinks

we're a little odd when they overhear us in the store, but oh well).

The good news is that at this age, they're willing to believe in imaginary

characters and in magic, so you can use this to your advantage.

Might be worth a try...

She doesn't want to do something wrong and it actually will prevent her from

participating in games and fun activities with her group at camp. Things need

to done right and if she's not sure she can do them right the first time then

she may opt out of trying them at all.

It's also tough to try to get through one her episodes without taking time from

her brother.

July 21, 2009

In our case, strep infections have definitely increased her OCD symptoms.?

We're very suspicious of PANDAS.? Have you heard of it??

I love the name " swirlys " .? When was 5 she called OCD Mr. Guinea Pig :-)?

She was watching a lot of Wonder Pets at the time.?

Anyway, welcome to the group again.? I know we moms (and dads) can help our

little ones if we arm ourselves with knowledge and support.?

Missy

New to the group

>

> Hello All,

>

> My 5yr old daughter was recently diagnosed with OCD. We always noticed some