Re: Just need a shoulder...

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/16/2006 2:34:43 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

liz.desantis@... writes:

I am so depressed today. I am so overweight and have absolutely no energy

to keep up with Miss Tori. We are having financial difficulties and I cannot

help because I need to be home for her. I feel so low and cannot pull

myself out of it.

Have you ever watched the movie Pollyana? Maybe you could try her " glad

game " whenever something gets you down, try to think of something that you are

glad about. Like, I'm glad I'm home right now because I can spend more time

with my cyber friends. :-)

As far as weight and finance, I do understand, I gained about 30 or more

lbs when I quit smoking and I lost my job last year the week before Trisha's

birthday so I have no finance, just bill collectors. :-)

But you know something, I'm happier now than I have been in a long time and

I have less stress too. Trying to work and be a single parent and try to go

to all the meetings and take care of all of Trisha's needs was eating me up.

Now I'm making a little money by doing something I enjoy, crocheting. It's

tight but we make it and we haven't starved yet (otherwise I wouldn't still

be over weight!) :-)

Hey there ya go, another thing to be glad about, that you aren't me! lol

Carol

Trishasmom

She isn't Typical, She's Trisha!

[Guest guest]

Liz,

So sorry to hear that you are down(no pun intended!) Sometimes I think the

holiday(Easter, Passover0 brings on bluesy feeling. My sweet son Chris16, D.s.

gets overwhelmed at holiday time. He misses hi s Grandma who died in 91. We all

get depredd from time to time. I am overweight too. and you just have to " chip

away " at it. Do the best you can, try to get in even a little exercise..it is

better than none.. and as we tell our kids, " make better choices " ...I know easier

said than done.... I tell myself this all of the time. We all have so many

issues.. You can only do so much for your kids and yourself...Be good to

yourself.

A lot of people on this list care for you and your opinions..and welfare...so

keep your chin up.

Fondly,

Brigid

Just need a shoulder...

I am so depressed today. I am so overweight and have absolutely no energy to

keep up with Miss Tori. We are having financial difficulties and I cannot help

because I need to be home for her. I feel so low and cannot pull myself out of

it. It must be the weather..the family not all together anymore. I don't know

what or why. I wish I could just snap my fingers and things could change...but

I know that is all a dream.

Liz

Success manifests in small daily events, not only in accomplishing great

things- Remez Sasson

[Guest guest]

What kind of work would you like to do, are trained to do?? Let us help you

brainstorm on ways that you can do what you need to do and still support

Tori. She goes to school, doesn't she??? That is at least 5 hours a day

for you to do something for you.

I will be your virtual partner for a walk around the block. We can start

this evening if you have someone to keep an eye on Tori. I get off work at

4 and can be ready to walk at 5PM If that doesn't work, tell me when she is

in school and we will schedule a walk then!!! I plan to sing my favorite

anti PC song - walking to PRetoria.

Tonite, I plan on having a huge snack at 9PM - want to join me?? A full can

of diet soda and a handful of nuts. Bet I can make my handful last 30

minutes - how about you????

Tomorrow is Monday. I have to work then too, but I am off at 4PM again.

Can walk with you at 5 PM. Ready??? No fancy clothes now just sturdy shoes

- we are only walking around the block - no marathon.

Ready, set, lets go!!!!!!!

Sara - Choose to make lemonade, not complain about the lemons.

>

>Reply-To:

>To: < >

>Subject: Just need a shoulder...

>Date: Sun, 16 Apr 2006 14:34:15 -0400

>

>I am so depressed today. I am so overweight and have absolutely no energy

>to keep up with Miss Tori. We are having financial difficulties and I

>cannot help because I need to be home for her. I feel so low and cannot

>pull myself out of it. It must be the weather..the family not all together

>anymore. I don't know what or why. I wish I could just snap my fingers

>and things could change...but I know that is all a dream.

>

>Liz

>

>Success manifests in small daily events, not only in accomplishing great

>things- Remez Sasson

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

You guys are so good. I knew if I sent this, you would lighten my day. I

just wish we could all live closer. Share our miseries, and our successes

in person.

Liz

Just need a shoulder...

>

>

> I am so depressed today. I am so overweight and have absolutely no

> energy to keep up with Miss Tori. We are having financial difficulties

> and I cannot help because I need to be home for her. I feel so low and

> cannot pull myself out of it. It must be the weather..the family not all

> together anymore. I don't know what or why. I wish I could just snap my

> fingers and things could change...but I know that is all a dream.

>

> Liz

>

> Success manifests in small daily events, not only in accomplishing great

> things- Remez Sasson

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Unfortunately, Tori only goes to school 1/2 days in the PM. I have 2 hours

to do something. I already tried the candle distribution (which I love) but

can't afford the Candle of the Month, so I had to drop it. I was a licensed

real estate sales person for 9 yrs. (up until Tori got diagnosed), I have

worked in a day care, ran my own day care (for kids with special needs) and

right now am caring for a ddx child after school-but mom can't afford what I

typically charge. My dh travels 85 miles a day each way to get to & from

work..and it kills me that we still are broke.

About the virtual walk....I love it. However, I have bad knees/legs and

they don't like to walk much. We have a gym in our development, but I don't

even get there because when I am alone, I have to run my errands.

It really sucks! Sorry!

Liz

Just need a shoulder...

>>Date: Sun, 16 Apr 2006 14:34:15 -0400

>>

>>I am so depressed today. I am so overweight and have absolutely no energy

>>to keep up with Miss Tori. We are having financial difficulties and I

>>cannot help because I need to be home for her. I feel so low and cannot

>>pull myself out of it. It must be the weather..the family not all

>>together

>>anymore. I don't know what or why. I wish I could just snap my fingers

>>and things could change...but I know that is all a dream.

>>

>>Liz

>>

>>Success manifests in small daily events, not only in accomplishing great

>>things- Remez Sasson

>>

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

Hey Liz,

Sorry you are feeling down, perhaps after a restful nights sleep and in the

morning sunshine you will feel better. Try to focus on all of the positive

things you have in your life!! We love you Liz!! wish i lived close by I

would come by and have a few laughs with you, hugs!! Viola

[Guest guest]

Sara - Choose to make lemonade, not complain about the lemons.

>

>Reply-To:

>To: < >

>Subject: Re: Just need a shoulder...

>Date: Sun, 16 Apr 2006 15:28:30 -0400

>

>Unfortunately, Tori only goes to school 1/2 days in the PM. I have 2 hours

>to do something. I already tried the candle distribution (which I love)

>but

>can't afford the Candle of the Month, so I had to drop it. I was a

>licensed

>real estate sales person for 9 yrs. (up until Tori got diagnosed), I have

>worked in a day care, ran my own day care (for kids with special needs) and

>right now am caring for a ddx child after school-but mom can't afford what

>I

>typically charge. My dh travels 85 miles a day each way to get to & from

>work..and it kills me that we still are broke.

>

>About the virtual walk....I love it. However, I have bad knees/legs and

>they don't like to walk much. We have a gym in our development, but I

>don't

>even get there because when I am alone, I have to run my errands.

>

>It really sucks! Sorry!

>

>Liz

> Just need a shoulder...

> >>Date: Sun, 16 Apr 2006 14:34:15 -0400

> >>

> >>I am so depressed today. I am so overweight and have absolutely no

>energy

> >>to keep up with Miss Tori. We are having financial difficulties and I

> >>cannot help because I need to be home for her. I feel so low and cannot

> >>pull myself out of it. It must be the weather..the family not all

> >>together

> >>anymore. I don't know what or why. I wish I could just snap my fingers

> >>and things could change...but I know that is all a dream.

> >>

> >>Liz

> >>

> >>Success manifests in small daily events, not only in accomplishing great

> >>things- Remez Sasson

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

[Guest guest]

Whoops - sent a blank one!1

Licensed to sell rel estate. ....Just talked to a friend of mine. She says

that her real estate office hires a person (not licensed!) to do some of the

paper work and phone calls, on call phone, etc. which this lady does from

home. You already have a phone and a computer. Just a thought.

Half days??????? How old is Tori - sorry aaged brain, I forget.

I also have a bad knee - torn meniscus and torn achilles. My PT says to

warm up for 10 minutes before serious walking. I do do that. Will write

again after my walk.

Sara - Choose to make lemonade, not complain about the lemons.

>

>Reply-To:

>To: < >

>Subject: Re: Just need a shoulder...

>Date: Sun, 16 Apr 2006 15:28:30 -0400

>

>Unfortunately, Tori only goes to school 1/2 days in the PM. I have 2 hours

>to do something. I already tried the candle distribution (which I love)

>but

>can't afford the Candle of the Month, so I had to drop it. I was a

>licensed

>real estate sales person for 9 yrs. (up until Tori got diagnosed), I have

>worked in a day care, ran my own day care (for kids with special needs) and

>right now am caring for a ddx child after school-but mom can't afford what

>I

>typically charge. My dh travels 85 miles a day each way to get to & from

>work..and it kills me that we still are broke.

>

>About the virtual walk....I love it. However, I have bad knees/legs and

>they don't like to walk much. We have a gym in our development, but I

>don't

>even get there because when I am alone, I have to run my errands.

>

>It really sucks! Sorry!

>

>Liz

> Just need a shoulder...

> >>Date: Sun, 16 Apr 2006 14:34:15 -0400

> >>

> >>I am so depressed today. I am so overweight and have absolutely no

>energy

> >>to keep up with Miss Tori. We are having financial difficulties and I

> >>cannot help because I need to be home for her. I feel so low and cannot

> >>pull myself out of it. It must be the weather..the family not all

> >>together

> >>anymore. I don't know what or why. I wish I could just snap my fingers

> >>and things could change...but I know that is all a dream.

> >>

> >>Liz

> >>

> >>Success manifests in small daily events, not only in accomplishing great

> >>things- Remez Sasson

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

[Guest guest]

many hugs, i wish they could help. shawna

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+

countries) for 2¢/min or less.

[Guest guest]

Hi there Liz,

<<<<<<<<<BIG hugs>>>>>>>>>>>

I feel your pain and understand where you are coming from. I've been having a

tough time lately too. Today I was cleaning up another poopy pants accident,

the 7th in 2 days, and I just couldn't deal with it. I'm crying in between

yelling at no one, and cleaning the poop off of the bathroom floor. There I am

leaning over the tub rinsing poo chunks out of 's underwear and shorts

and just crying, " I didn't sign up for this! " . I kept saying outloud, " I don't

know anyone who could live one day in my shoes except the people on the list! "

There's poor in the shower just looking at me like, geez Mom - get it

together! Well, some days just suck!!!

It's tough, no one understands what we go through on a daily basis - sometimes

it's just hour by hour just to get by. Please know how much we all care about

you and know how you're feeling. I think most of us have days like this. The

good thing is that we aren't all having bad days at the same time - this could

become a really dark list if that was the case!

As far as the overweight issue goes, you've got to take it in baby steps, hour

by hour somedays just like with the kids.

I don't know if you're familiar with Flylady at all??? www.flylady.net

She's changed the way I look at lots of things - check out her website.

http://www.flylady.net/pages/TableOfContents.asp

Her latest endevor is Body Clutter, it's a new book and way of life for

dealing with weight. Check out this pledge, I think it really sums up the best

way to tackle weight loss:

http://www.flylady.net/images/bc_release.pdf

Face your stuff — don't just stuff your mouth

By Marla Cilley

For the Deseret Morning News

I have been overweight since giving birth to my son more than 30 years

ago. Yes, I have tried to lose weight, but I was never really successful, and I

have finally figured out why. It took writing the book " Body Clutter " for me to

see that you just can't wish weight away; you have to develop a structure in

your life that will help you to succeed with your new lifestyle. I am thankful

that I have finally faced my body clutter and made healthy changes in my life.

Just like we had to build our routines to get our homes in order we have

to do the same thing when it comes to becoming healthy. The best part is that we

can piggy-back these routines with the effective ones we already have in place.

It does not take much planning to make these essential changes that will put us

on a healthier path in life.

I have always hated the word diet! When I look at the word all I see is

DIE! When I used to diet I would feel so deprived that I would think that I

would die if I couldn't have that piece of candy. We always want what we can't

have. This is why changing our lifestyle is hard.

I have found a simple game I can play with myself that helps me to

celebrate with each meal. If I have a salad, it is hard for me to eat it without

some sort of dressing. So I put the dressing on the side. It is there if I feel

like touching my lettuce to it. The secret is not depriving myself of it; giving

myself permission and then celebrating that I did not eat it all and ask for

seconds. Do you see how this can be empowering?

My perfectionism used to cause me to throw my meal plan out the window

when I messed up and eat something that I was not supposed to. I have realized

that I don't have to be perfect to enjoy eating better. That one little bite of

a taboo food is not the end of world. I am celebrating the fact that I did not

eat the whole thing!

Do you see the difference? I am not beating myself up anymore. I don't

have to continue to punish myself. In the long run, when you toss the plan out

the window over one mistake, you are saying that you are not worth it. Well, I

am worth it! Warts and all! It is such a relief to know that I don't have to be

perfect anymore; I can make mistakes and still lose the body clutter that is

between my ears and on my thighs.

As I look back at my years of weight gain I see denial that there was a

problem. When we stick our heads in the sand we don't evolve. We just continue

to grow by adding more body clutter. We make excuses for our eating. We slip

around and try to even fool ourselves into thinking that no one sees. What can

it hurt, anyway? Well, it does hurt us even if no one sees.

We have been lying to ourselves for a very long time. When a tree falls in

the forest does it still make a noise? Yes, that body clutter does still collect

on our backside even when no one is around to see us eat it. When are we going

to face our stuff instead of stuffing our faces?

---------------------------------

Marla Cilley, a k a FlyLady, is the author of Sink Reflections (Bantam Books

Trade Paperback). For more help, please go to: www.FlyLady.net. © 2006

Hang in there Liz - know that I'm thinking of you!

Take care,

Jayne

Liz D wrote:

I am so depressed today. I am so overweight and have absolutely no energy to

keep up with Miss Tori. We are having financial difficulties and I cannot help

because I need to be home for her. I feel so low and cannot pull myself out of

it. It must be the weather..the family not all together anymore. I don't know

what or why. I wish I could just snap my fingers and things could change...but

I know that is all a dream.

Liz

Success manifests in small daily events, not only in accomplishing great things-

Remez Sasson

[Guest guest]

Liz, You are not alone. Recently I went to the Dr. after not having

gone for 2 yrs.I went because I was depressed. The first thing she

said after I told her I was depressed about life was the first thing

she noticed is that I had put on weight.Oh ya about 15 lbs since

November.This Dr. is a hugging loving Dr. and she said I want to try

you on Wellbutrin to help with Depression and it should help you

lose weigth.I have been on it about 2-1/2 weeks and finally the med

is kicking in. I am pushing food away.When I was in my twentys I was

a 5/6 and now I am 18/20. I don't even reconize myself and I hate

the hundreds of commercials about losing weight.I always think if

they can lose 100 pounds why can't eye.I want to look like the women

on desperate housewives and it makes me sick that they are my age

but they look younger.We are having financial trouble also.I worked

as a mortgage loan officer full-time and made great money then the

company I worked for went out of bus. Then I worked for a

telemarketing company part time and made decent money and it went

out of bus. The telemarketing company helpeds Special Olympics, and

Cancer foundations.All of those breaks in income have hurt. I now

work part time for Garden Ridge and they have been great I work 9-2

Mon-Fri but the pay is awlful. I need more. Plus my husband changed

jobs to better us and then got downsized and was out of work for 6

months.Then after he finally went back to work he got Typoid Fever

and almost died.The weather is a big factor in how I feel.Sunny warm

days perk me up and make me want to accomplish things.Liz many days

I feel just like you and wish I could snap my fingers and make

's life normal and mind to.I wonder how many people live like we

do and stuggle like we do. On Oprah one day they said 70% of America

is 2 paychecks away from Bankrupcty and I believe it. We only have

our home, no car payments, no credit cards, and yet we struggle. We

do have one child in private school but this year we were able to

get some help with tuition.Some days I feel that this is not the

life I was supposed to have but I cannot give up on because he

is a little person that needs me.I have to help him be the best

person he can be and that is what keeps me going.Life is what you

make of it.We have to try to make our own fun and the fun of our

children.Ya know Liz I believe some day we will be rewarded. Have a

Happy Easter and I do hope your days get better. Cyndi

>

> I am so depressed today. I am so overweight and have absolutely

no energy to keep up with Miss Tori. We are having financial

difficulties and I cannot help because I need to be home for her. I

feel so low and cannot pull myself out of it. It must be the

weather..the family not all together anymore. I don't know what or

why. I wish I could just snap my fingers and things could

change...but I know that is all a dream.

>

> Liz

>

> Success manifests in small daily events, not only in accomplishing

great things- Remez Sasson

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> About the virtual walk....I love it. However, I have bad

knees/legs and

> they don't like to walk much. We have a gym in our development,

but I don't

> even get there because when I am alone, I have to run my errands.

>

HI Liz,

So, let's think of some things that are not hard on your knees that

you can do when Tori is home. How old is Tori? I remember those 1/2

days...they're just a big tease - you think you'll have enough time

to do something, but there's barely time to go to the bathroom.

Visit www.ncpad.org and see if you can find some activities that you

can do around the house. I am willing to send you some theraband

tubing (enough for Tori to have her own) if you will use them.

Building some muscle is better than nothing!

If you went to the gym, what would you do? Could you do a pilates

mat routine?

As for the REST of you (and LIz too), let's not focus on weight.

Let's focus on feeling better, gaining energy. Getting some exercise

does so many different things - most important it produces

endophins...the happy hormones. And we all need a bit of that. Small

steps. Brain storm a list of what you can do to be more active.

STart there. The money situation will need a little more thought and

I think you'll problem-solve better once you are feeling better

about yourself overall. No falling for scams!

We care,

Joan

[Guest guest]

I understand about the weight thing. I really resent the articles on the celebs

who lost so much weight in such a short period of time. *I* could do that too,

IF *I* had a personal trainer AND a personal chef, plus the money to pay both!

Tina

I love someone with autism . . . April is Autism Awareness Month.

[Guest guest]

Oh Liz know that your not alone,I have no family around me.Steve has a huge

family with lots of kids and he has 3 adult kids. He took Mic to his mothers for

Easter and I stayed home because his family thinks what I am doing with Mic is

all wrong and his daughter called cps on me 3 years ago and my lawyer told me to

cut all ties with them so it doesnt keep happening.Thats what I did and I will

never trust any of them around me and Mic again.Steves oldest daughter is

getting married next month and Steve thinks I just ought to suck up and go, no

way I cant trust them And Steve hates me for it..Im so skinny they think I have

anorexia.I wish I was closer and we could help each other out.Heres a cyber hug

and your not alone. Laurie