Hey all, need help

[Guest guest]

I know, it's me from the dead finally chiming in after all this time. I wanted

to give you all an update on our family and ask everyone for some help.

I know that I haven't written in a while and we have a lot of new people on, so

I will give you an overview of my family and situation.

My oldest, , is 10 and his is diagnosed with DS/ASD. We have had our highs

and lows with and have made it through them successfully. Our current

situation is his behavior, which everyone tells me is typical for a 10 year old.

He is in the teasing stage, but because of him not understanding consequences,

it has become a concern for the safety of others. He will walk by a chair and

think it's hilarious to throw it across the room. These are things we are

dealing with with him, but we are working on it.

My daughter is 4 1/2 going on 20, and is in preschool 2 days a week right now,

and my goodness if I could afford it, would be there all day everyday. She is a

great helper though, and it is nice to have a " typical " child to somewhat rely

on for simple things like getting out the door.

My youngest is . He is 11 months old and is my reason for the e-mail today.

is having problems gross motor wise. He is not crawling, walking, wanting

to pull up or anything of that sort. We are pursuing early intervention and

seeking the help of a developmental pediatrician. We have been given

unsolicited advice from friends and family diagnosing him with " laziness " to

" Muscular Dystrophy " . For obvious reasons, my emotions have been all over the

map.

We currently live in Texas, and I will go on record to say, if you are moving

here, turn back. Texas is a big wealthy state, but the wealth is not in the

health and human services fund, it's in everyone else's wallets. (Not mine of

course) When we had , we lived in Wisconsin and received Medicaid and grant

monies to help us with doctor visits, testing, therapy, medicine, and the grant

money helped us fence in our backyard since was a professional escape

artist. When we moved to Texas when was 4, we soon found out what a

mistake it was financially. The Medicaid programs are based on income, not on

disability, and any financial assistance available without income restrictions

have a 20 year waiting list. My husband and I have been just getting by

financially since moving down here. I own a medical billing service (how

ironic, since I had to become an expert on insurance since moving down here)

that I work out of my home and all the money I make goes toward 's doctor

and therapy bills. With the thought of possibly also needing therapy for

sure but maybe more, we have decided that it maybe time to move somewhere else.

While my comfort level is saying, " go back to Wisconsin " , my body is saying " But

it's so cold and there is snow " . I wanted to know where everyone else lived and

how it was in their states. It's not like there is a website of where the best

places to live with children who have special needs. I tried looking on

different states websites about what they offer, but it's not like they are

going to come out and say, " we have nothing for you here " . Even if you look on

the Texas website, it states the programs they have, but not that there is a 20

year waiting list.

We probably won't be able to move for a year or two, but I wanted to start

looking now and find out where the best places to live are. I know I have been

told California for the Autism portion for , but my goodness, how do you

guys live out there. My home would be a half a million dollars. We would

probably be losing income right now by moving since I would have to restart my

business again, and the set up of doctors and making money at it takes at least

6 months to a year, so the " best, but expensive to live here " may not work for

us, but I would like to know what my options are.

Thank you for your help. I'm sorry I haven't been as helpful to some of you. I

appreciate any comments you all my have.

Tollefson