[DS/Autism] Follow up to Welcome to Holland

[Guest guest]

I received this from another list and thought this list might like to read

it as well.

A Canadian responds to Welcome to Holland, so first, here's Welcome to

Holland by Perl Kingsley

c1987 by Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a

disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience

to

understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...... When you're

going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy.

You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum.

The Michelangelo . The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy

phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation,

the day

finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the

plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, " Welcome to Holland. "

" Holland?!? " you say. " What do you mean Holland?? I signed

up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going

to Italy. " But there's been a change in the flight plan.

They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is

that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of

pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out

and buy new guide books. And you

must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of

people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced

than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while

and you catch your breath, you look around....

and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has

tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy

coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a

wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say " Yes,

that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned. " And the pain of

that will never, ever, ever, ever go

away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy,

you

may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ...

about Holland.

+++++++++++++++++

By

(my follow-up to the original " Welcome to Holland " by Perl

Kingsley)

I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have had

time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something different

than I'd planned.

I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in Holland. I

remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger - the pain and uncertainty. In

those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland

was where I was to stay. Today, I can

say how far I have come on this unexpected journey. I have learned so much

more. But, this too has been a journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I

slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others whose plans had

changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We

supported one another and some have become very special friends.

Some of these fellow travellers had been in Holland longer than I and were

seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me. Many

have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and

gifts to behold in this new land. I have discovered a community of caring.

Holland wasn't so bad. I think that Holland is used to wayward travellers like

me and grew to become a land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to

assist and to support newcomers like me

in this new land. Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been

like if I'd landed in Italy as planned.

Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have

learned some of the important lessons I hold today?

Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and still

do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest.

And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy, but

this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down in ways

too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable

beauty of Holland with its' tulips,

windmills and Rembrandts.

I have come to love Holland and call it Home.

I have become a world traveller and discovered that it doesn't matter where

you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you

see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any

land, has to offer.

Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am

thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined!

( is a parent, advocate and presently the executive director of

the Family Support Institute in Vancouver, BC)

Carol

Trishasmom

She isn't typical, She's Trisha!