Re: Fw: [eToxResearch] Digest Number 754

September 9, 2004

You go girl! I believe you are on the right track with your thinking. I

have been without white flour and sugar for almost two months (in addition to

using some essential oils and doing colon cleansing and liver cleansing) and I

haven't felt such relieve in years. I had a cheat day this weekend and am

paying for it drastically this week. Already missed 1 1/2 days of work and it's

only Thursday. Getting rid of the yeast in our bodies is crucial. When we feel

better and not in excruitiating pain - the depression lifts. Case closed.

Have a wonderful rest of your week and keep on the " good food " new way of

life.

Loree

September 9, 2004

Yes I am insulted by this...but I am also rather used to this stupid and

ignorant line of thinking too. Even my own husband (who thinks he is very

understnading and compassionate) has this attitude.

The problem is, there you are in life, going along with gusto, and full

of purpose then BAM! you are hit with a bout of Fibro which you pass off as

some terrible flu...most of us can think back to our very first symptoms and

remember them as something like that. After a long, long time of these

symptoms not going away, we eventually find out one way or another that we have

Fibromyalgia. Along this long journey to discovering what the hell is wrong

with us...our lives slowly deterioate, bit by bit because we are feeling so

damn

bad. We have never felt like this before and whatever it is we have is

taking a toll on us. Once we actually know what it is we have, then we have a

life long journey of self cures to explore, all the while trying to keep up or

pre-fibro lifestyle.

Along comes friends and family members with all their judgements.

Hmmm...we look fine, and somedays we just plain look great and some days we

even

feel fine so why can't we just will it away or why do we give in to it and

have these pity parties? I know thats what they are thinking. Why do we sit

around instead of just getting on with life. Why do we let even the smallest

things confuse us. Why do we have no energy? They all have their ideas on

what we should do to " fix " it once and for all. Never once considering that we

may not be capable of doing their " fix " or doing it on a continuing basis

since many of those fixes mean enough time, money, energy or brain organization

that I do not posess on a constant basis.

What they do every single day just as a regular routine that they don't

even think about, I can barely do and if I get them done, I feel like I had a

sucsessful day. If I can get up on time, get my kids to school in clean

clothes and actually find their homework and its been done and I can clean up

the dishes and maybe even make the beds and if I'm lucky even do one more thing

before I pick them up from school...then I have almost over extended myself.

On top of this I am being very pressured by my extremely sensitive and

compassionate husband to bring in an income and get a job so I am trying to use

all my spare energy (theres just so much of it) to create a home based

business..or he is going to leave me. He is sick and tired of me being sick

and

tired and not having a purpose.

I thought my purpose was to use every bit of my energy to get well.

Like try to organize my brain to cook for them then cook special things for me

that would not aggravate this condition. This means I have to cook separately

3 times a day...no make that 9 times a day since he will not eat what I make

the kids...then I have to clean it all up...there goes my energy.

Yes I am very insulted by the idiot who wrote it...and they are not

intuitive. I wish I could wave a magic wand and have them live with this

condition exactly how I live with it for 6 months, especially in the winter

months

when even the smallest of cold temps causes me to cry in pain almost all day

long. Then I wonder what they would say.

Donna

Anyone out there as insulted as I am about this e-mail below????

September 9, 2004

Thank you Joanie for all you said,

It brought tears to my eyes. About 2 weeks ago I had yeat again a

terrible fight with my husbnad who was putting me down saying I was living a

life

of luxury since i get to stay at home with the kids. He went on and on and

got nastier and meanier, He went so far as to say that he wished he never had

married me because he didn't know then that I would be sick all the time and

he could divorce me, move on and marry someone else who could pull their

weight finacially. I pointed all the things you said in your email, how I

totally throw myself into being a very good wife and mother, have his dinner

waiting for him when he arrives home, I massage his feet every night, supply

sex

every single night because he gets angry if I don't...I totally parent the

kids because his temper prevents him much interaction. He said his temper is

all my fault because I am sick all the time. He said I have bright our family

so far down into an abiss that he hates his life and wants to be free but

feels stuck and that I am a burden. It was like he crushed my soul, so I simply

got up, went inot the other room, hugged the kids good-bye and left.

I went to ther bank, retrieved money, went to a motel and took 48

sleeping pill, a bottle of vicodin and an entire bottle of alcohol, then waited

to

die. I made sure there was no way he could track me and no one knew where I

was. He didn't know I had any intention of killing myself because I said

nothing, I just left. I woke up later, alive but extremely groggy. I realized

that I failed even at that. I could not believe that taking all that did not

kill me. So I called home, at that time it was 3am and he answered. I was

sure he was in the process of packing and leaving with the kids and all I

wanted to do was say goodbye to them because I was going to find a sure fire

way

of ending it. He however sounded worried, which was a surprise, why be

worried about the person who apparently has ruined your life? I was convinced

at

the time that if I was such a burden to my husband with all I do now, what

would my kids life we like later whern my health gets worse. I did not wish

to be a burden to them ever and I did not wish to be in so much emotional pain

and be made to feel so responsible for something I cannot control.

Long story, I'm sorry...anyway my husband convinced me he did not want

me to kill myself and ddi not want to divorce me and he came to the motel and

got me. I went home and after about 2 days, all the pills seemed to have

gotten out of my suystem by drinking lots of water.

However, I did change from that day on. My husband has not but that is

really not of any concern to me any longer. I do believe God saved me and it

was an actual miracle that I survived with absolutely no intervention what

so ever. My husband says my not dying is not a miracle but merely a " fluk. "

He is wrong. I have experienced many cahnges since that day and the only way

to describe them are God working in my life. I cannot explain why God would

give me a second chance but he did. I am not religious but I am very

spiritual. I am an artist and writer and since this short time that this has

happened, I have written two books, and completed several things. As you all

know

any person doing so much in a short time, that would be remarkable but to do

this with Fibro, well it is truly miraculous. I asked God for help and he

is helping me. I am feeling tremondous pain this week and a lot of it is

directly related to the extreme verbal attacks I am experiencing from my

husband.

I can see that but I do know that I will take one day at a time and I will

explore each avenue to health.

My husband is in terrible emotional and physical pain everyday and seems

to have no outlet for any of it so he has directed it to me...the only

change has been that I am growing stronger at not taking it in now and not

allowing him to drag me down and believe his words. I love him and remember

the

wonderrful man that resides within and I have faith that he will return. I

however am not going to be harmed again by him. I am going to work on me and

making myself well...THEN and only then can I focus so much time and energy on

him and then we can get him well. If after all that he continues to berate

me, he will have no excuse and we will go from there. But I will give him the

benefit of the doubt that his health is taking a terrible toll on the man he

truly is.

Thank you all for putting up with such long posts. I know it can get

boring.

Sincerely,

Donna

Amen Donna,

You know, I feel so bad for mother's even when they don't have fibro.

because that is a full time job to be a stay at home mom and do all that

you do. And too often they are not appreciated by the new age husband and

even the new age woman. No husband could find a sitter or house keeper to

do even half of what you do. And he can never accomplish what you do

either. Not to mention the importance of what is instilled in your children

and are they being raised the way that you want them raised? Do they have

the loving connection that you give them? Mother's teach through example,

they show responsibility, etc. Now a day care or sitter cannot provide half

of the good nurturing, be a moral example to fullest degree, or be a safe

place to go when they fall down, etc. (not like mom) They can to a small

degree, but nothing or no one can replace a mother.

Then there is all the things that mother's do to keep the house clean and

do things for their husband's. If he had to hire enough people to do what

you and other mother's do he would be begging you to stay home. I'm 59 and

my kids are raised, " Thank God " . I know the importance of your job. And

your job is raising your children and being the manager of your home. And

God Bless you for doing it all while in pain. Even if you cannot do

everything perfectly, the most important thing is to be there emotionally

for your kids and to meet their physical needs as best as you can on those

bad days. I think you are a hero. (:>) And you certainly have a purpose

don't you.

There are a lot of books on Fibromyalgia that explain the truth and that

don't put us down nor try and tell us it is in our heads.

Maybe your husband would read one?

Yes, we all have a purpose.

God Bless...............Joanie

September 9, 2004

I agree with you, thanks for saying it!!!!

September 9, 2004

It was an inspiring post. I am so happy that you are not taking in his

negativity any more. We can do amazing things even though we are sick. Think

of Hillenbrand who wrote Seabiscuit while flat on her back.

Peggy

www.splendidsoap.com

Thank you Joanie for all you said,

It brought tears to my eyes. About 2 weeks ago I had yeat again a

terrible fight with my husbnad who was putting me down saying I was living a

life

of luxury since i get to stay at home with the kids. He went on and on and

got nastier and meanier, He went so far as to say that he wished he never

had

married me because he didn't know then that I would be sick all the time and

he could divorce me, move on and marry someone else who could pull their

weight finacially. I pointed all the things you said in your email, how I

totally throw myself into being a very good wife and mother, have his dinner

waiting for him when he arrives home, I massage his feet every night, supply

sex

every single night because he gets angry if I don't...I totally parent the

kids because his temper prevents him much interaction. He said his temper is

all my fault because I am sick all the time. He said I have bright our

family

so far down into an abiss that he hates his life and wants to be free but

feels stuck and that I am a burden. It was like he crushed my soul, so I

simply

got up, went inot the other room, hugged the kids good-bye and left.

I went to ther bank, retrieved money, went to a motel and took 48

sleeping pill, a bottle of vicodin and an entire bottle of alcohol, then

waited to

die. I made sure there was no way he could track me and no one knew where I

was. He didn't know I had any intention of killing myself because I said

nothing, I just left. I woke up later, alive but extremely groggy. I

realized

that I failed even at that. I could not believe that taking all that did not

kill me. So I called home, at that time it was 3am and he answered. I was

sure he was in the process of packing and leaving with the kids and all I

wanted to do was say goodbye to them because I was going to find a sure fire

way

of ending it. He however sounded worried, which was a surprise, why be

worried about the person who apparently has ruined your life? I was

convinced at

the time that if I was such a burden to my husband with all I do now, what

would my kids life we like later whern my health gets worse. I did not wish

to be a burden to them ever and I did not wish to be in so much emotional

pain