Re: new here - To Candace

[Guest guest]

Hi Candace,

Congratulations! You are so blessed to have three children AND two more on the way! There are so many people that cannot have children, for one reason or another, and look at all of us!

My husband, Joe, & I have twin girls who are 28 months old, BOTH with DS, and we have a typical fast-developing 9 month old son, too. We did not have an amnio with the twins and did not know about the DS. I'm not sure what Tetrology of Fallot is so I can't comment on that. Some of your questions are tough to answer but very important questions at the same time. We remember asking the same questions, too.

Every child is different, even special needs kids that are identical with identical diagnoses, like our twin girls. And my husband and I have found that looking too far into the future about what to expect of the twins for us is a mistake. It can bring on unnecessary sadness & grief. This is because no one knows what medical science & the educational field will discover and be able to do for our special needs children. Looking too far is overwhelming for us. So we just take it one step at a time and focus on the present. And presently, they are doing fine! They are beautiful and sweet and fun to be with! Having special needs children is not easy, it's just different.

Once your children are born, just like any other, you can't help but fall in love with them. They look to you for everything and your parental instincts just kick in to love and protect them and make available to them the best life that you can.

When our twin girls were born, the priority we focused on was making sure they received the best medical care. We tried not to look into the future because it was too hard for us. So we got referrals from people who had special needs kids for the best doctors, specialists, and a great geneticist that specializes in Trisomy 21. You can also join the Down Syndrome group in your area and get on their listserve. There's a wealth of information out there.

Now that the girls are growing and the medical concerns are starting to significantly subside, the priority is education. So we make sure that they have the best therapists, etc. We also are learning how to properly advocate in the school system. If you don't get the therapies you need for your child during their IEPs, you just respectfully go around the person that's slowing you up. We do everything we can to make sure they get the best education that's appropriate for them. We don't care if they don't know when Columbus sailed the seas, we want them to learn proper social skills and learn how to be as independent as possible, as well as contribute to society and have a good job as an adult.

Now that our 9 month old son is here, all three of them are like triplets. They are all learning (slowly) how to walk, eat textured foods, feed themselves, etc, at the same time. The children all absolutely adore each other and crawl all over the house together like a pack of dogs, laughing and playing and competing, like any other children. My son is creating competition with the twins; when he starts walking and I praise him, they want to walk, too. Typically-developing kids naturally push up the potential of special need kids significantly!

As they grow, I believe my son will be their best protector! He will learn patience, tolerance, and grace, above and beyond, what "normal" kids typically learn, because of his special needs sisters.

I hope you really try to enjoy your pregnancy and drink lots of H20 and try not to worry. It will go fast!

I've typed probably too much. My kids are needing my complete attention. Let me just say that I have a strong feeling that everything will be just fine for you, too!

Congratulations again,

new here

Hi,I am new here, this is actually my first day on! I am pregnant with twins, and one of them is suspected to have DS. (Haven't had amnio)I have 3 older children as well. I guess my million dollar question is what can I really expect with a child that has DS. How "different" is raising them, compared to my children w/o DS, and how will it, if at all, affect my other children? I have experience with Early Intervention and intergrated preschools, my 4 1/2 year old has ADHD and a pretty severe language impariment (although she is doing better now) and "they" suspect learning disabilities with her as well. I have this overwhelming fear of the "unknown" right now, which in alot of ways you feel no matter what when you are pregnant. Twin A (the one with the issues!) is a boy, and has also been diagnosed with Tetrology of Fallot, so I am fearful of that as well. I am not due until the beginning of May, but I am trying to learn what I can now, not that I know that it will prepare me at all!!! Just the thought of 2 little babies at once seems overwhelming!!!ThanksCandaceMultiples-DShttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/Multiples-DS