All is well that ends well...

[Guest guest]

Hi Helen:

I know Cass did his BEST and it was a teachable moment that I took advantage of and praised him for what he did BUT said, next time these are your options. I also allowed him to explain WHY he did what he did and still praised him for being there for his father. It was a BIG responsibility for any young/old adult. Cass gets it but like you freezes and processes it slower but still did GOOD. I have been through this with Larry before and said I am going to laminate some instructions for the outside of your refrigerator. These are your options and these are the people U need to call. <Wink>

I worked with a gal years ago who was married to a young guy that just went sideways all the time. She divorced him when her kids were young and ALWAYS said, I will let my kids decide and not poisen them with my perception on their father. That always stuck with me thinking you must be an amazing person or I am stuck on revenge and can’t see past it at the moment? I always remember her and her words as her EX- past away 2 years after he reconciled with his kids.

It is not MY choice but their choice and they LOVE their father and who am “I” out of revenge to say differently after the divorce? It is not like they didn’t live through the years like I did in the same home, but he is their father and their memories of him as father to child is all they know. As they grow they will hopefully sort out right from wrong???

My memories will never change as is was a very abusive relationship for me. I would have died on the sword protecting my kids from their dad. How insane is that? Keep them safe and happy and MAYBE they won’t realize the hell they are living in? What was I thinking? I would just reinvent realty and all will be OK? Didn’t work as life went on and we all had to deal with the consequences. BUT we are all stronger for the choices we have made and probably appreciate the other side 100 percent more.

Was I wrong in my choices? That is for a higher power to decide. All my kids are safe and doing good and who can ask for anything more? I have sorted this out and know it is up to them to come to some agreement on their childhood and move FF. The saying, "let's blame my life on my childhood," is old and tells us all ha ha ha ha Move on and find a new excuse. We have all been there and done it. Is this wisdom with age?? lol

Just me. Over and out.