Re: preschool trouble, advice sought

[Guest guest]

Hi Casey,

We have not yet been where you are, but I definitely can understand your

frustration and anger with this situation. It sounds like you are doing

already everything I would have suggested -- looking around for another

classroom, complaining to the district, making a note for the file. Sadly,

I'm sure this will be just the first of many times you will have to advocate

for your child in the school system. I babysit a 12-year-old with DS

afterschool, and her mom has one horror story after another, almost every

day. And we're in what's considered to be one of the best school districts

in Texas for kids with special needs. Anyway, I'm proud of you for having

the energy it takes to not just let these incidents slide by unaccounted

for. Keep up the good work!

Hugs,

mom to Ally and Katy (DS), almost 3

----Original Message Follows----

From: stephaniesmom200@...

Reply-To: Multiples-DS

To: Multiples-DS

Subject: preschool trouble, advice sought

Date: Tue, 25 Mar 2003 01:26:44 EST

Hello everybody,

There is a problem at 's preschool, and I need to make some

decisions about what to do. Advice or other perspectives are welcome. . .

Last Wednesday afternoon, I got a call from 's morning bus driver

to

say that they had found a lens to a small pair of glasses, and were

wondering

if had lost one. I told them that she was with the respite

provider, I hadn't seen her yet since school, but I would call right back.

Sure enough, it was 's lens. The real problem was, she had been at

school for 2 1/2 hours that morning, and NO ONE NOTICED! I am furious and

trying to figure out what the best course of action is.

There are 9 children in the class, a teacher and full-time aide, as well

as

a part-time aide (who may or may not have been there that day) and

OT/PT/ST's

who float in and out during the day (and may or may not have been there

that

day). This is a school district special -ed preschool.

I think it is very likely that the teachers are overworked, very busy with

the students who need more physical or behavioral assistance, and that

is largely ignored during the day, because she is so easy-going

and

compliant. I firmly believe that if anyone had even looked her in the eye to

say " good morning " , that they would have noticed. These are bifocal lenses,

with a distinct line across the mid point. To have one lens in (and that

eye

magnified) while the other was not. . . I don't see how that could have been

missed, if she was getting any attention at all. Additionally, it was the

left lens that had fallen out, and that eye is the one that crosses in badly

when she isn't wearing her glasses. I don't see how it could have been

missed. . .with any explanation other that total inattention by her

teachers.

I am just so angry! I have been sending her there 5 mornings a week since

Nov, and now am wondering exactly what the quality of it has been, for her.

To make sure I wasn't overreacting, I have talked with her former teacher in

our old district, her preschool teacher from the birth to three program, as

well as her friday (private) OT. They were all at least as upset as I was.

What bothered me at least as much as the incident itself, was the teachers

reaction to it. They both admitted they hadn't noticed and the teacher just

kind of chuckled and said " I'm kind of embarrassed, but no, I didn't

notice " .

As far as I'm concerned, she should have been a lot more than embarrassed,

but horrified and very apologetic.

The question is, what do I do now? I am visiting the 3 other preschools in

our district, to see if there is a classroom that feels better to me, with

fewer kids, maybe without as many with needs so different from 's.

I'm writing a letter to the special services coordinator, to document the

incident and my perception of the problem. I am asking for us to discuss

options at the (regular) conference in 10 days. They don't really want

parents in the classroom, as they find it " disruptive " , but I watched from

outside the door today, for about 15 minutes, as well as the playground

time,

for about 10 more. They were very attentive to her, while I was standing

there, but I shouldn't have to do that to be sure she is getting the

attention she (and all the kids) deserve.

Also, her IEP was done when they had only met her a couple of times, and

many

of the goals set were too easy and have already been accomplished. What is

the procedure for getting them updated? I know many of you have children

quite a few years older than mine and have probably fought these battles to

some degree and may have good suggestions for me as I go into these meetings

to decide the next course of action. Thanks a lot, and sorry if I seem to

" hot under the collar " . I have a pretty long fuse and it takes a lot to

really set me off, but it has happened here. Maybe I'm partially mad at

myself for just trusting all these months as I put her on the bus every

morning. I haven't really checked up on the quality of what she was

receiving, but believed that they were doing well by her. I'm suddenly not

sure at all.

Casey, mom to (DS) and , 3

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[Guest guest]

Gail,

Thanks for your input. I'd love to have the link you mentioned!

Casey, mom to (DS) and , 3

[Guest guest]

Casey, what state are you in?

You can " revisit " and call an IEP at ANY time, just do it in writing to

your case manager, and you might also cc it to the dir. of special

services too.

is only 3? Maybe she would benifit from having her own aide?

Who is responsible in incorporating all her therapies, back into the

classroom setting??

You absolutely need to doucument your situation in writing, make sure

all parties get a copy. And expect an answer in 10 working days.

If the list doesn't mind, I'll forward to you and everyone else a site

I use{and have their books, and attending their conference this April}

They're a husband/wife team , his name is and he's a

special ed attorney......................

hope this helps!!!

Good Luck

Gail

Mom to Bobby 9, Jillian 6 1/2, and Tara{Ds} 4

[Guest guest]

I hardly have any time to respond to this BUT...while I would be very upset by the eyeglasses.....I would also see red flags for a preschool that didn't want parents there! is 3 years old! I have always had open door policies at the schools my children have been in. Obviously, in higher grades parents around would be disruptive (if not weird) even my son, who is in 1st grade, I can go there anytime for any reason. I would investigate this policy too.

Sorry have to run but I am so sad and dissapointed for you for the reactions of these people.

Quinn-6, Sara and Maggie-4, Teddy-2

-----Original Message-----From: stephaniesmom200@... Sent: Tuesday, March 25, 2003 1:27 AMTo: Multiples-DS Subject: preschool trouble, advice soughtHello everybody,There is a problem at 's preschool, and I need to make some decisions about what to do. Advice or other perspectives are welcome. . .Last Wednesday afternoon, I got a call from 's morning bus driver to say that they had found a lens to a small pair of glasses, and were wondering if had lost one. I told them that she was with the respite provider, I hadn't seen her yet since school, but I would call right back. Sure enough, it was 's lens. The real problem was, she had been at school for 2 1/2 hours that morning, and NO ONE NOTICED! I am furious and trying to figure out what the best course of action is. There are 9 children in the class, a teacher and full-time aide, as well as a part-time aide (who may or may not have been there that day) and OT/PT/ST's who float in and out during the day (and may or may not have been there that day). This is a school district special -ed preschool. I think it is very likely that the teachers are overworked, very busy with the students who need more physical or behavioral assistance, and that is largely ignored during the day, because she is so easy-going and compliant. I firmly believe that if anyone had even looked her in the eye to say "good morning", that they would have noticed. These are bifocal lenses, with a distinct line across the mid point. To have one lens in (and that eye magnified) while the other was not. . . I don't see how that could have been missed, if she was getting any attention at all. Additionally, it was the left lens that had fallen out, and that eye is the one that crosses in badly when she isn't wearing her glasses. I don't see how it could have been missed. . .with any explanation other that total inattention by her teachers. I am just so angry! I have been sending her there 5 mornings a week since Nov, and now am wondering exactly what the quality of it has been, for her.To make sure I wasn't overreacting, I have talked with her former teacher in our old district, her preschool teacher from the birth to three program, as well as her friday (private) OT. They were all at least as upset as I was. What bothered me at least as much as the incident itself, was the teachers reaction to it. They both admitted they hadn't noticed and the teacher just kind of chuckled and said "I'm kind of embarrassed, but no, I didn't notice". As far as I'm concerned, she should have been a lot more than embarrassed, but horrified and very apologetic.The question is, what do I do now? I am visiting the 3 other preschools in our district, to see if there is a classroom that feels better to me, with fewer kids, maybe without as many with needs so different from 's. I'm writing a letter to the special services coordinator, to document the incident and my perception of the problem. I am asking for us to discuss options at the (regular) conference in 10 days. They don't really want parents in the classroom, as they find it "disruptive", but I watched from outside the door today, for about 15 minutes, as well as the playground time, for about 10 more. They were very attentive to her, while I was standing there, but I shouldn't have to do that to be sure she is getting the attention she (and all the kids) deserve.Also, her IEP was done when they had only met her a couple of times, and many of the goals set were too easy and have already been accomplished. What is the procedure for getting them updated? I know many of you have children quite a few years older than mine and have probably fought these battles to some degree and may have good suggestions for me as I go into these meetings to decide the next course of action. Thanks a lot, and sorry if I seem to "hot under the collar". I have a pretty long fuse and it takes a lot to really set me off, but it has happened here. Maybe I'm partially mad at myself for just trusting all these months as I put her on the bus every morning. I haven't really checked up on the quality of what she was receiving, but believed that they were doing well by her. I'm suddenly not sure at all. Casey, mom to (DS) and , 3 http://DSyndrome.com/Multiples

[Guest guest]

Hi Casey!!

I'm so sorry to hear of your problem. Please don't be mad at yourself. My daughter is only 14 months old right now but if that happened to her I too would be just as upset and mad as you. It sounds like a good idea to check out the other schools. And it sounds like your right on it when you say is the least work for the teachers. Unfortunately, we have to trust these people to some extent but it was good that you watched for a day knowing they (the teachers) would be on their best behavior. The bottom line is no one will treat our kids like we do and we are their best advocates. But, now they know you will not tolerate this and you are quite aware of what goes on so maybe they will now begin to give the attention she so deserves. But I would still look into other schools. Good luck and please keep us posted.

Sherrill

mom to Jillian age 5 and and (D/s) age 14 months

[Guest guest]

Hi Gail!!

I'm attending the "s Law Boot Camp" in May in Massachusetts. I will be receiving the 2 books also. I'm so happy to hear you use them. is only 14 months old but it's never too soon.

Thanks

Sherrill

mom to Jillian age 5 and and (D/s) age 14 months

[Guest guest]

It is not wierd to be at school for any special needs child-in fact it is

needed, to insure proper treatment. My son I salmost 11(5th grade) and i still

pop in often. It's called showing you care-and he loves it when mom visits.

Donna

" " wrote:

>I hardly have any time to respond to this BUT...while I would be very upset

>by the eyeglasses.....I would also see red flags for a preschool that didn't

>want parents there!   is 3 years old!  I have always had open door

>policies at the schools my children have been in.  Obviously, in higher

>grades parents around would be disruptive (if not weird) even my son, who is

>in 1st grade, I can go there anytime for any reason.  I would investigate

>this policy too.

>

>Sorry have to run but I am so sad and dissapointed for you for the reactions

>of these people.

>

>

>Quinn-6, Sara and Maggie-4, Teddy-2

>   preschool trouble, advice sought

>

>

>  Hello everybody,

>

>  There is a problem at 's preschool, and I need to make some

>decisions about what to do.  Advice or other perspectives are welcome. . .

>

>  Last Wednesday afternoon, I got a call from 's morning bus driver

>to say that they had found a lens to a small pair of glasses, and were

>wondering if had lost one.  I told them that she was with the

>respite provider, I hadn't seen her yet since school, but I would call right

>back.  Sure enough, it was 's lens.  The real problem was, she had

>been at school for 2 1/2 hours that morning, and NO ONE NOTICED!   I am

>furious and trying to figure out what the best course of action is.

>

>  There are 9 children in the class, a teacher and full-time aide, as well

>as a part-time aide (who may or may not have been there that day) and

>OT/PT/ST's  who float in and out during the day (and may or may not have

>been there that day).  This is a school district special -ed preschool.

>

>  I think it is very likely that the teachers are overworked, very busy with

>the students who need more physical or behavioral assistance, and that

> is largely ignored during the day, because she is so easy-going

>and compliant. I firmly believe that if anyone had even looked her in the

>eye to say " good morning " , that they would have noticed.  These are bifocal

>lenses, with a distinct line across the mid point.  To have one lens in (and

>that eye magnified) while the other was not. . . I don't see how that could

>have been missed, if she was getting any attention at all.  Additionally, it

>was the left lens that had fallen out, and that eye is the one that crosses

>in badly when she isn't wearing her glasses.  I don't see how it could have

>been missed. . .with any explanation other that total inattention by her

>teachers.  I am just so angry!  I have been sending her there 5 mornings a

>week since Nov, and now am wondering exactly what the quality of it has

>been, for her.

>

>  To make sure I wasn't overreacting, I have talked with her former teacher

>in our old district, her preschool teacher from the birth to three program,

>as well as her friday (private) OT.  They were all at least as upset as I

>was.  What bothered me at least as much as the incident itself, was the

>teachers reaction to it.  They both admitted they hadn't noticed and the

>teacher just kind of chuckled and said " I'm kind of embarrassed, but no, I

>didn't notice " .  As far as I'm concerned, she should have been a lot more

>than embarrassed, but horrified and very apologetic.

>

>  The question is, what do I do now?  I am visiting the 3 other preschools

>in our district, to see if there is a classroom that feels better to me,

>with fewer kids, maybe without as many with needs so different from

>'s.  I'm writing a letter to the special services coordinator, to

>document the incident and my perception of the problem.  I am asking for us

>to discuss options at the (regular) conference in 10 days.  They don't

>really want parents in the classroom, as they find it " disruptive " , but I

>watched from outside the door today, for about 15 minutes, as well as the

>playground time, for about 10 more.  They were very attentive to her, while

>I was standing there, but I shouldn't have to do that to be sure she is

>getting the attention she (and all the kids) deserve.

>

>  Also, her IEP was done when they had only met her a couple of times, and

>many of the goals set were too easy and have already been accomplished.

>What is the procedure for getting them updated?  I know many of you have

>children quite a few years older than mine and have probably fought these

>battles to some degree and may have good suggestions for me as I go into

>these meetings to decide the next course of action.  Thanks a lot, and sorry

>if I seem to " hot under the collar " .  I have a pretty long fuse and it takes

>a lot to really set me off, but it has happened here.  Maybe I'm partially

>mad at myself for just trusting all these months as I put her on the bus

>every morning.  I haven't really checked up on the quality of what she was

>receiving, but believed that they were doing well by her.  I'm suddenly not

>sure at all.

>

>  Casey, mom to   (DS) and , 3

>        

[Guest guest]

Hi Sherrill,

could you please give me the details on this - date, how to register, etc.

I'd like to attend if I can.

Are you going to the MDSC Conference(massachussetts Down Syndrome Congress)

this Saturday? I'll be there without the kids. We're attending the estate

planning in Session I. Let me know if you are going and how to spot you so

I can say Hello!

Sue McCowan - mom to (DS) and 5 yrs

>From: SETREB@...

>Reply-To: Multiples-DS

>To: Multiples-DS

>Subject: Re: preschool trouble, advice sought

>Date: Tue, 25 Mar 2003 21:41:26 EST

>

>Hi Gail!!

>

>I'm attending the " s Law Boot Camp " in May in Massachusetts. I will

>be

>receiving the 2 books also. I'm so happy to hear you use them. is

>only 14 months old but it's never too soon.

>

>Thanks

>Sherrill

>mom to Jillian age 5 and and (D/s) age 14 months

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Hi Sue!!

It's so nice to hear from you; I'm glad you're in this group. Isn't it great? Yes, I am attending the Conference Saturday. I'll be with 2 blondes my mother and my aunt. Don't laugh I'm serious this is how to spot us: we all have huge hips. Isn't that awful? But it's true. We're short and I may actually bring a picture of to wear around. I read that if you bring a picture they can make you a button to wear. I may even bring a picture of all three of my kids. I will not have my kids either. Is your husband going or does he have kiddy duty? Hee Hee Oh and by the way we are all "pleasantly plump" and that's being nice to ourselves. Tell me how to spot you. I just found out there will be 550 people. Have you been to this conference before? This is my first one. I will be attending #1 in session 1, and #8 in session 2, and #13 in session 3. Thank you for reminding me I did not fill out which numbers I would be attending on my registration form so as soon as I finish e-mailing you I'm going to e-mail the MDSC to let them know I goofed. How are your sons doing? And, this is really bad but what thing did I write about that you want to register for? I've been wracking my brain and have no idea what you mean. Please fill me in and remind me. Thanks Sue and nice hearing from you.

Sherrill

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue!!

It's 10:00 p.m. and I know I should be sleeping since I'm getting up at 5:00 a.m. anyway.....I will absolutely definitely look for you and I hope to see you too.

Have fun and if we don't connect I will surely e-mail you about the conference.

Sherrill

[Guest guest]

Sherrill,

It's kind of late, so you might not get this, but I hope we cand find each

other to say hello. It'll be me and my hubby and we're also both

" pleasantly plump " . He and I are fairly tall and I have long dark brown

hair. We're doing walk in registration, so we'll be around the registration

desk at 8/8:30. I hope I will see you tomorrow!

Sue - mom to (DS) and sarah 5

>From: SETREB@...

>Reply-To: Multiples-DS

>To: Multiples-DS

>Subject: Re: preschool trouble, advice sought

>Date: Thu, 27 Mar 2003 21:34:31 EST

>

>Hi Sue!!

>

>It's so nice to hear from you; I'm glad you're in this group. Isn't it

>great? Yes, I am attending the Conference Saturday. I'll be with 2

>blondes

>my mother and my aunt. Don't laugh I'm serious this is how to spot us: we

>all have huge hips. Isn't that awful? But it's true. We're short and I

>may

>actually bring a picture of to wear around. I read that if you bring

>a

>picture they can make you a button to wear. I may even bring a picture of

>all three of my kids. I will not have my kids either. Is your husband

>going

>or does he have kiddy duty? Hee Hee Oh and by the way we are all

> " pleasantly plump " and that's being nice to ourselves. Tell me how to spot

>you. I just found out there will be 550 people. Have you been to this

>conference before? This is my first one. I will be attending #1 in

>session

>1, and #8 in session 2, and #13 in session 3. Thank you for reminding me I

>did not fill out which numbers I would be attending on my registration form

>so as soon as I finish e-mailing you I'm going to e-mail the MDSC to let

>them

>know I goofed. How are your sons doing? And, this is really bad but what

>thing did I write about that you want to register for? I've been wracking

>my

>brain and have no idea what you mean. Please fill me in and remind me.

>Thanks Sue and nice hearing from you.

>

>Sherrill

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