Guest guest Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 >-----Original Message----- >From: WD Loughman > >Anything else IS an attack, and he doesn't need it. Neither do you. > >- Bill, forever-49, dx AS; ...married 40+ years, with kids > Oh Bill, Do I have to learn how to control myself. See, sometimes I cannot control my impulsivity (ADHD) and end up saying things that I regret the very same second they go out of my mouth. There are days we cannot say anything at home - everything, even a joke, is interpreted as an offense or an attack with me pleading to the contrary. It is just the two of us here, so who is to know what's going on? Is it my ADD or his AS or both? I have made peace with myself and do not feel hurt with his defense attacks when I feel they are unwarranted. I just wish he could learn not to feel offended so often. I feel sorry for him when he feels hurt and it was not my intention, I rarely intend to offend anyhow. I am not an angry person, and it takes a lot to get to my nerves. I apologize to him when he gets hurt but sometimes I just cannot comprehend why something was so offensive. Sometimes I do think he wants me to feel hurt too, because when he notices that I have brushed his comments off he gets angry yelling that I don't even care, which of course is not true. On the other hand, one of the characteristics I always liked about me is my spontaneity, and now I am afraid of loosing it. Sure, sometimes I say things I shouldn't, but here at home almost everything I say is seeing as criticism. I don't want to loose my identity... I will stop now, before I start straying... , 45, ADHD, dx 2 years ago Hubby, 47, AS, self-dx 3 months ago Married 11 years, no kids Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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