Returning to Group - Help with IEP's

[Guest guest]

Hello my name is Alice P. and my daughter Dorothy is 7 yrs old. She was

diagnosed at 3 weeks with MDS. We were very active in the group until Dorothy

was 3 years old and then we moved to York, PA. I would love to know if anyone

lives near us in PA. We are looking to meet some families in the area so we can

get to know each other and Dorothy can have more kids to play with.

Let's see where do I start. Dorothy is mainstreamed in 2nd grade at the local

public school. We were in private school for preschool, K and half of 1st grade.

Then we switched to public school to receive the benefit of services they have

to offer. THe private school doesn't offer much in services. We have been

through PT, OT and speech therapy. Currently Dorothy is doing very well with PT,

no OT issues and no speech therapy. WE started math remediation last year and

continued on this year. Each school year from Preschool through 1st grade I

spoke with the teachers before school started that Dorothy has MDS. This year I

took a different approach and wanted to wait until the first Parent teacher

converence to speak with the teacher. I didn't want Dortohy to have a label and

just wanted to give her a chance to see what she could do before I said anything

to the teacher. I am not sure if this was a good idea or not. But can't change

that now at this point and I am trying not to feel bad about that. We were took

by suprise at the parent teacher mtg in Nov. By Dec we were in our first IEP

meeting. We have had one each year prior to this. This year our big issue is

social skills. The gap seems to be widening between Dorothy and the other kids.

She doesn't always understand about how loud to speak or asking other kids to

play but telling them what to do. It's been very hard on her the last few

months. First the school seemed very interested in helping. They started a

social group for 2nd graders but it's just Dorothy and one other child. We were

doing log books going to and from school. She is having problems at recess and

in the lunch room. The classroom teacher seems not sure how to " handle " Dorothy.

We started taking her to play/art therapy. I am enrolling her in special

olympics to be around other kids with special needs. We become involved in a

parent group to help understand what's going on. It's just been very crazy and

everything is happening at once. The teacher said nothing until the parent

teacher meeting that anything was wrong. I feel like we have almost lost a

entire school year in helping Dorothy. Her behavior is getting out of control.

She seems very angry. Easily upset. Yells and cries when you try and correct

her. At the parent teacher conference she overheard what the teacher was saying

about her not getting along with the other kids. And she started crying. Some

days she gets so upset we don't know what to do.

I have mentioned getting a TSS to help out in the classrrom but the school seems

pretty against that idea. They think she is too high functioning for this. But

at the same time she is by herself at recess and the kids run away from her and

don't want to play.

I have so much to say I feel like I am just throwing everything out there! The

last time we went to school I called the principal and asked to meet with her,

we are also having issues on the bus with one little girl. My husband and I went

on the schedule date and there were 6 people from the school in the meeting. We

only thought the principal would be there! They had an entire IEP meeting set

up. We walked in and my heart started pounding. I was so overwhelmed by the

whole meeting. I try so hard to get along with everyone at school and be easy

going and supportive in whatever they suggest. But I couldn't even ask what I

wanted to due to feeling like we were being outnumbered! Can anyone relate?

I am trying to find an advocate but that is so slow. The agencies don't return

calls. I have been trying since December to get help from some agency but get so

tired in always following up that I give up. I really need someone to talk to

about all this. If I had someone to go to school with us on the IEP meetings I

may have a little more backbone. I worked for 25 years before I had my daughter

and have been home for 7 years old. It's just floors me how I can become

intimated by the schools!

Can't wait to hear back from you guys!

Alice Poholsky

York, PA

Dorothy age 7 MDS