Re: FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

June 15, 2008

Yeah,

and so when is he coming to ST LOUIS MO?

FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public -

Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D.

About the Speakers:

Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome.

Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality.

Harriet Simons, Ph.D., received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year.

ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome.

MMHC Faculty Member:

Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry.

Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax

http://www.faaas. org/doc.php? 34,316

June 15, 2008

Hi, I know you are excited about this workshop, but there is an unfair side to this that makes me want to totally melt down. Instead, I will do something more productive (I hope), and try to reach out to all the NTs on this list, and cry out for understanding. I am AS, and do not want to have to never disclose that, and am not ashamed of it. I have integrity in my relationships, and I care with all my heart how other people feel, even when I cannot discern those feelings quickly, but I am asking you to care about mine and those of other AS. I am not mentally ill, and I am not a liar, and I am not manipulative, and I am not a cheater. I am a team player. If I ever go to court, I want my rights to be respected just as much as everyone else's: the US constitution does not say that AS do not have equal rights. This conference is strongly advocating a prejudice

against AS in the courtroom, when it comes to AS and custody or divorce procedings, or other family court action. That is highly unfair, and really scary. I already have enough trouble with being believed when I tell the truth and do not judge the emotions of others around me adequately. I already have to work doubly hard to make eye contact at all times, so as not to be called a liar. I already have trouble in knowing when it is OK to ask for clarification of directions because I do not understand them ,and when I ask for help, I am judged non-cooperative. If I do not ask, and answer a question other than what was intended because I do not understand the hidden curriculum, I am judged manipulative or worse! My IQ and educational level are too high for me to be called stupid: I am judged to be difficult, just because I am disabled. Why bother with ADA accommodations if I will be judged beforehand in certain Court

actions? I am begging you to consider the other side. In an individual relationship, it is fine with me if someone considers the possiblity of anything. I am not fine with being judged. There are differences between right and wrong, and AS are accountable for their actions. To make this abundantly clear, if someone who cannot walk asks for help, nobody says that he or she is just being manipulative, because they can see the disability. If I ask for help with understanding directions or social situations, I am not being manipulative either. It feels awful not to be brelieved. I lived with this for fifty-one years, till I cuould put a name to my disability: AS. Anyone who has read my earlier posts knows that I am never going to quit growing and learning, and that I welcomd corrections, adn freely admit when I am

wrong. I am delighted to improve, and take great joy in learning more theory of mind- and in understanding the feelings of others. It is a revelation to me! My plea for help. here, is anything but a request to be allowed to be lazy and make an excuse. Anyone who reads my posts will see that I try very hard to be truthful. I do this even if it means I have to do more than I can: and then, I just ask for help in learning how. Many of you have told me about setting boundaries so that NTs do not take advantage of me. I am not trying to get any free ride to be hateful or manipulative here. All I ask is that my rights not be abrogated by prejudice. It is wrong that what an NT says is not believed. It is equally wrong that what an AS says is not believed. I plan to protest this conference any way I can, and would love some assistance: I can

empathize with Cassandra, and feel as though I have walked in her shoes many times. Please help me retain my credibility, and not have to hide being AS to do that. Please tell me how I can make this point effectively: I am not NT, and do not even know if my words are being received in a favorable light. I am not evil. this conference as advertised will take my credibility from me in any relationshhip I enter, expcet perhaps with another AS. I do not want you to be hurt and not believed, either. Can we please find a middle ground that is fair to us, too? Thank you for reading this. Dahlberg wrote: Yeah, and so when is he coming to ST LOUIS MO? FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including

CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public - Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D. About the Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the

subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome. Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality. Harriet Simons, Ph.D., received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice

in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year. ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome. MMHC Faculty Member: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School;

Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry. Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax http://www.faaas. org/doc.php? 34,316

June 15, 2008

You are a remarkable person. I totally believe you. You try very hard to understand different points of view. I think you should get any accomodation you think you need. You strive to be understanding and compassionate. I must have skimmed the info on this workshop. I am only interested in going to a workshop put on by Attwood because he seems to fully be behind people with AS as well as their partners, AS or NT.

If we as NT's are discussing certain AS people in our lives who have been manipulative to us in the past, it is likely that they were AS without an understanding of what AS is.

I am sorry if I have made you believe that I would not support you. I would.

Sandy

[aspires-relationsh ips] FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public -

Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D.

About the Speakers:

Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome.

Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality.

Harriet Simons, Ph.D., received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year.

ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome.

MMHC Faculty Member:

Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry.

Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax

http://www.faaas. org/doc.php? 34,316

June 15, 2008

Sandy, Thanks! I only want to preserve legal rights for AS. In relationships, and in relating to feelings, I think that it is only sensible to believe both sides, because very often, both sides are important, and I have gained a lot from hearing an NT perspective on things. I would hate to be abused, and unable to make it stop because as an AS, I was viewed as uncooperative with my NT abuser by not submitting to (her he would give it another name), which is how this can be played by someone who really wants to manipulate when someone has no credibility. Where does Attwood stand on our credibility?I respected him till I saw that he was a part of this conference. Now, I really want to know if he is safe. I hate having feelings like these. Dahlberg wrote: You are a remarkable person. I totally believe you. You try very hard to understand different points of view. I think you should get any accomodation you think you need. You strive to be understanding and compassionate. I must have skimmed the info on this workshop. I am only interested in going to a workshop put on by Attwood because he seems to fully be behind people with AS as well as their partners, AS or NT. If we as NT's are discussing certain AS people in our lives who have been manipulative to us in the past, it is likely that they were AS without an understanding of what AS is. I am sorry if I have made you believe that I would not support you. I would. Sandy [aspires-relationsh ips] FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard

Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public - Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D. About the

Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome. Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of

expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality. Harriet Simons, Ph.D., received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year. ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate

School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome. MMHC Faculty Member: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry. Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax http://www.faaas. org/doc.php? 34,316

June 15, 2008

Helen, I feel like crying, after reading about what happened to your friend. Will evil never end? Why are these two things in conflict? If people would understand that getting emotional does not mean you are unstable or lying or crazy or any other pejorative thing, then there would be a change. AS get emotional too, and I have been on the receiving end for that reason, too. My ex was the coldly logical one, so to speak- and his attorney was willing to lie to help him (I cannot speak to the reason, but know he did). I faced the challenge of a surprise psych exam, and I passed. I would have been committed had I failed. It was not anything I will ever forget. My ex really wanted to win. I did not even know the hidden curriculum, but answered correctly anyway. In fact, I won that day: my children were interviewed, and what one of them said about

my ex really helped me a lot- but freaked me out because I had not knwn about it. I feel that God really protected me that day. My faith grew as a result. I am AS. It can happen to anyone. I was not depressed, but the prejudice abgainst me was quite high, and I give thanks to God that I was declared sane. My ex tried to get me declared mentally ill repeatedly over the years, and I now have a court order stating that the family court does not find any mental illness. My ex does not know I am AS. I hope he never finds out. I cannot even tell my children yet- and this conference and what it implies make my coming out a less likely occurrence. When and if I marry again, I want to disclose immediately and plan to do so. If I get divorced again, I will have given him a serious weapon. Any single AS on this list or any other should be aware of this. No, it should not be a weapon, but it might

be: what should we do? Helen Foisy wrote: Hi ,I would tend to belive that Tony Attwood is safe. There are a few folks I can think of - self styled "experts" who I consider to be Aspie haters (who shall remain un-named <smile!>) that if they were taking part in the conference I'd be thinking, hmmm, watch out! But all of these folks are legit.There are two sides to a coin, and

certainly I have been where you have feared - I was not listened to because I was AS. The only difference is that no one knew I was AS back then. But I didn't know how to present my side - I was brutally honest - and so people who lied and said what others wanted to hear were listened to, but I wasn't.But I have also witnessed the crazy making effects on an NT spouse who never did recover from a very bitter marriage to an AS. Her spouse was AS through and through, and though I suppose one could argue that his problems were not entirely due to AS, the fact is, he appeared like the cool-headed logical spouse, the "sane" one, in front of counsellors and the divorce lawyers whereas she had been driven around the bend by his utter cruelty.The NT spouse was institutionalized against her will after being psychologically abused and being driven into depression by her spouse. She died way too young and long before

anything about AS or the "Cassandra effect" was known.I am against labelling as a weapon, of course, and NO I do not want to be pathologized and discriminated against like various races were 50 and 60 years ago (and sadly this still goes on today in some places) and just because I have AS I am NOT a narcissist, but for women (and some men) who live with Cassandra effect, they need to know that they aren't alone.- Helen

June 15, 2008

Helen, I feel like crying, after reading about what happened to your friend. Will evil never end? Why are these two things in conflict? If people would understand that getting emotional does not mean you are unstable or lying or crazy or any other pejorative thing, then there would be a change. AS get emotional too, and I have been on the receiving end for that reason, too. My ex was the coldly logical one, so to speak- and his attorney was willing to lie to help him (I cannot speak to the reason, but know he did). I faced the challenge of a surprise psych exam, and I passed. I would have been committed had I failed. It was not anything I will ever forget. My ex really wanted to win. I did not even know the hidden curriculum, but answered correctly anyway. In fact, I won that day: my children were interviewed, and what one of them said about

my ex really helped me a lot- but freaked me out because I had not knwn about it. I feel that God really protected me that day. My faith grew as a result. I am AS. It can happen to anyone. I was not depressed, but the prejudice abgainst me was quite high, and I give thanks to God that I was declared sane. My ex tried to get me declared mentally ill repeatedly over the years, and I now have a court order stating that the family court does not find any mental illness. My ex does not know I am AS. I hope he never finds out. I cannot even tell my children yet- and this conference and what it implies make my coming out a less likely occurrence. When and if I marry again, I want to disclose immediately and plan to do so. If I get divorced again, I will have given him a serious weapon. Any single AS on this list or any other should be aware of this. No, it should not be a weapon, but it might

be: what should we do? Helen Foisy wrote: Hi ,I would tend to belive that Tony Attwood is safe. There are a few folks I can think of - self styled "experts" who I consider to be Aspie haters (who shall remain un-named <smile!>) that if they were taking part in the conference I'd be thinking, hmmm, watch out! But all of these folks are legit.There are two sides to a coin, and

certainly I have been where you have feared - I was not listened to because I was AS. The only difference is that no one knew I was AS back then. But I didn't know how to present my side - I was brutally honest - and so people who lied and said what others wanted to hear were listened to, but I wasn't.But I have also witnessed the crazy making effects on an NT spouse who never did recover from a very bitter marriage to an AS. Her spouse was AS through and through, and though I suppose one could argue that his problems were not entirely due to AS, the fact is, he appeared like the cool-headed logical spouse, the "sane" one, in front of counsellors and the divorce lawyers whereas she had been driven around the bend by his utter cruelty.The NT spouse was institutionalized against her will after being psychologically abused and being driven into depression by her spouse. She died way too young and long before

anything about AS or the "Cassandra effect" was known.I am against labelling as a weapon, of course, and NO I do not want to be pathologized and discriminated against like various races were 50 and 60 years ago (and sadly this still goes on today in some places) and just because I have AS I am NOT a narcissist, but for women (and some men) who live with Cassandra effect, they need to know that they aren't alone.- Helen

June 15, 2008

I'm not sure where he stands. Good question. Maybe knows.

Sandy

[aspires-relationsh ips] FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public -

Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D.

About the Speakers:

Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome.

Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality.

Harriet Simons, Ph.D., received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year.

ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome.

MMHC Faculty Member:

Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry.

Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax

http://www.faaas. org/doc.php? 34,316

June 15, 2008

Good post Helen.

And, I'm glad you are back.

Hope all is "better" for you.

Sandy

FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

,What you describe you had to go through is so terrible, and yet I believe it and I think this happens more often than most people want to accept. When one spouse is vindictive and wants control, there is absolutely no boundary they won't cross, no lie they won't tell, to "win" and get back at you. Thank GOD you are such a strong and credible person. It must have taken such strength not to shrink away and crumble from panic and the pressure of having to prove you were the sane one. It must have taken every bit of strength you had! Good for you . I have always respected you, and even more so, now.I have never really fully disclosed my experiences to this group. Maybe I will someday, but suffice to say I lost everything to a very abusive person (who wasn't AS) and I had nowhere to turn for support, or justice. I'd like to stay the story ended a long time ago, but it didn't.

Recently it reached out and touched me again, forcing me to re-live what I went through, all over again.It seems to me that even today, people still more readily accept lies if they are presented in a way that provides a nice, tidy solution and no one has to work at finding a better resolution. Maybe they can hear a little voice inside that says, "but this is wrong!" but since it's easier to "go with the flow" that's what they do, and though they might feel sorry for hapless victim who is about to go under for the third time, they will shrug their shoulders and say, "oh well, too bad, but she didn't really help herself either...."In the context of what I know today, I can see more clearly why things happened as they did, but even had I known about AS, I'm sure that disclosing it would not have helped me then, either.Like yourself, I wait for the day when I will be able to "come out AS"

but fear that day has not come yet. Yes, AS can be a complicating factor when it comes to some things, eg. it could be like being in a foreign country, and initially not being able to speak the language of the locals. It could temporarily inhibit your ability to do many things, from the most basic such as finding your way around the area you are in. But that should not forever bar you from visiting that country. You can learn to speak a foreign language. Not knowing the language at first does not permanently brand you as an undesirable! Often, visitors and those who chose to reside in a new land, bring fresh new knowledge, insights, new and better ways of doing things (not to mention great new ways to cook food <smile!>) to a new place they travel to, and sometimes decide to live in.Sadly, people of different nationalities are sometimes "profiled." I do not want us to be "profiled" in this

way either. In the same way it would be a gross, gross injustice to tie someone of a certain nationality to being a potential terrorist, it would be wrong to "red flag" all AS as people who are potentially mentally cruel, mindblind narcissists, sociopaths, unfit parents or whatever other negative label they want to stick on us.One time - and I have shared this with ASPIRES, before, I made the mistake of sharing with a friend who belonged to two of the same volunteer organizations that I did - that I have anxiety disorder. Right away, he began to treat me as "less than" and he assumed a very condescending manner towards me. I learned later from other friends that his wife was mentally ill, and her illness had put heavy limitations as to what he could and could not do in his own life. He was a very active person who would travel the world constantly, if he could. My friends told me he was likely

projecting his resentment of his frustrations towards his wife on to me, and assuming that my anxiety disorder would also affect my ability to carry out certain duties.Yes, I have generalized anxiety disorder, but I have over-ridden the agoraphobia. I have also learned to over ride the anxiety attacks. I sought counselling at age 23 as I did NOT want to become a prisoner in my own home. Subsequent doctors and therapists have praised my resolve to fight this, and I have.Unfortunately I have learned that this is something I can not share - like yourself, these things stay hidden. I would love to "come out" and say, hey, look at me, this is what an AS person with GAD looks like. Who knew? I am your neighbour, your friend, an active volunteer and I don't let these things stop me from doing what I want to do!" I also think, , we work harder at many things that people who never had

anything to overcome. So yes, I DO share your concern, !I am sure that "Cassandra effect" doesn't also apply to the plight of the NT spouse of one of our lesser evolved AS brethren. I'm sure it can apply in many situations where you have a very controlling spouse who knows how to turn on and off the cruelty depending on who is watching. An older term for this is called "gaslighting. " I suppose that a major difference with AS is that sometimes the AS spouse doesn't actually realize they are doing this. It is behavior and they unconsciously reinforce it with meltdowns (either silent - as in passive aggressive - or explosive) to get the rest of the family not to "rock the boat" in their presence. They are just needing to control everything about their environment. And their NT spouse senses this too, that it isn't really deliberate. And yet the effect upon them - and their children - is just

the same as if it was deliberate, but they can't talk about it with anyone, and they are slowly becoming isolated and going 'round the bend, but meanwhile everyone else thinks their spouse is such a nice person. Maybe it would be helpful to just broaden the understanding of "Cassandra effect" since it doesn't only happen in the context of NT/AS marriages.- Helen

June 15, 2008

Helen, I read this post and it made me awestruck at what you can relate to about this: you are truly a fighter and an overcomer. You understand completely. I believe that generalizing Cassandra would answer my worries if it isn't still applied to AS without thinking. It would ba a welcome relief to women everywhere, and even some men who get emotional. I wish I could find your would-be abuser and kick him in the Angle Side Side! I hope you gain victory quickly and permanently. I will read your post over a few times: it is a wonderful thing to be understood. It must have taken a lot of thought to write it. Thanks, Helen Foisy wrote: ,What you describe you had to go through is so terrible, and yet I believe it and I think this happens more often than most people want to accept. When one spouse is vindictive and wants control, there is absolutely no boundary they won't cross, no lie they won't tell, to "win" and get back at you. Thank GOD you are such a strong and credible person. It must have taken such strength not to shrink away and crumble from panic and the pressure of having to prove you were the sane one. It must have taken every bit of strength you had! Good for you . I have always respected you, and even more so, now.I

have never really fully disclosed my experiences to this group. Maybe I will someday, but suffice to say I lost everything to a very abusive person (who wasn't AS) and I had nowhere to turn for support, or justice. I'd like to stay the story ended a long time ago, but it didn't. Recently it reached out and touched me again, forcing me to re-live what I went through, all over again.It seems to me that even today, people still more readily accept lies if they are presented in a way that provides a nice, tidy solution and no one has to work at finding a better resolution. Maybe they can hear a little voice inside that says, "but this is wrong!" but since it's easier to "go with the flow" that's what they do, and though they might feel sorry for hapless victim who is about to go under for the third time, they will shrug their shoulders and say, "oh well, too bad, but she didn't really help herself either...."In

the context of what I know today, I can see more clearly why things happened as they did, but even had I known about AS, I'm sure that disclosing it would not have helped me then, either.Like yourself, I wait for the day when I will be able to "come out AS" but fear that day has not come yet. Yes, AS can be a complicating factor when it comes to some things, eg. it could be like being in a foreign country, and initially not being able to speak the language of the locals. It could temporarily inhibit your ability to do many things, from the most basic such as finding your way around the area you are in. But that should not forever bar you from visiting that country. You can learn to speak a foreign language. Not knowing the language at first does not permanently brand you as an undesirable! Often, visitors and those who chose to reside in a new land, bring fresh new knowledge, insights, new and better ways of doing

things (not to mention great new ways to cook food <smile!>) to a new place they travel to, and sometimes decide to live in.Sadly, people of different nationalities are sometimes "profiled." I do not want us to be "profiled" in this way either. In the same way it would be a gross, gross injustice to tie someone of a certain nationality to being a potential terrorist, it would be wrong to "red flag" all AS as people who are potentially mentally cruel, mindblind narcissists, sociopaths, unfit parents or whatever other negative label they want to stick on us.One time - and I have shared this with ASPIRES, before, I made the mistake of sharing with a friend who belonged to two of the same volunteer organizations that I did - that I have anxiety disorder. Right away, he began to treat me as "less than" and he assumed a very condescending manner towards me. I learned later from other friends that his wife

was mentally ill, and her illness had put heavy limitations as to what he could and could not do in his own life. He was a very active person who would travel the world constantly, if he could. My friends told me he was likely projecting his resentment of his frustrations towards his wife on to me, and assuming that my anxiety disorder would also affect my ability to carry out certain duties.Yes, I have generalized anxiety disorder, but I have over-ridden the agoraphobia. I have also learned to over ride the anxiety attacks. I sought counselling at age 23 as I did NOT want to become a prisoner in my own home. Subsequent doctors and therapists have praised my resolve to fight this, and I have.Unfortunately I have learned that this is something I can not share - like yourself, these things stay hidden. I would love to "come out" and say, hey, look at me, this is what an AS person with GAD looks like. Who knew? I

am your neighbour, your friend, an active volunteer and I don't let these things stop me from doing what I want to do!" I also think, , we work harder at many things that people who never had anything to overcome. So yes, I DO share your concern, !I am sure that "Cassandra effect" doesn't also apply to the plight of the NT spouse of one of our lesser evolved AS brethren. I'm sure it can apply in many situations where you have a very controlling spouse who knows how to turn on and off the cruelty depending on who is watching. An older term for this is called "gaslighting." I suppose that a major difference with AS is that sometimes the AS spouse doesn't actually realize they are doing this. It is behavior and they unconsciously reinforce it with meltdowns (either silent - as in passive aggressive - or explosive) to get the rest of the family not to "rock the boat" in their presence. They are just

needing to control everything about their environment. And their NT spouse senses this too, that it isn't really deliberate. And yet the effect upon them - and their children - is just the same as if it was deliberate, but they can't talk about it with anyone, and they are slowly becoming isolated and going 'round the bend, but meanwhile everyone else thinks their spouse is such a nice person. Maybe it would be helpful to just broaden the understanding of "Cassandra effect" since it doesn't only happen in the context of NT/AS marriages.- Helen

June 15, 2008

Hi ,I'm not following the reasons why this particular conference is so upsetting to you. Could you explain?Thanks, Daneka, who's willing not to attend just because you asked Yeah, and so when is he coming to ST LOUIS MO? [aspires-relationsh ips] FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's

Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including

CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public - Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D. About the Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer

workshops around the globe on the

subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome. Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality. Harriet Simons, Ph.D., received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the

Family. She has a private practice

in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year. ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome. MMHC Faculty Member: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard

Medical School;

Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry. Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax http://www.faaas. org/doc.php? 34,316

June 15, 2008

Daneka, Thank you so much for your support, and thank you for asking. It means a lot. I am concerned. There ar AS women who get divorced and might lose cusdody of their children just because they are AS. There are AS men who might get fewer visitation rights just because they are AS. This is one of the thihngs that this conference will discuss. If you check out the websites, the applications of Cassandra being promoted do not just include telling a therapist to take an NT wife's concerns seriously about feelings, and help her husband understand and accept being AS and learn to try hard to show his love for her in many different ways that he never knew before (absolutely wonderful! I think that part is excellent!), but it is also being r ecommended that the idea of Cassandra be expanded to include facts, and emphasize to legal professionals that in an AS/NT relationship, the NT should be given the

benefit of the doubt when the two disagree with regard to facts. It is also stated that if there is any kind of appearance of uncooperation, the AS should get the blame for this, and the NT should be given preference, and custody issues are explicitly mentioned. I went through a custody fight where I was not believed as it was, and my (at the time) poor eye contact did not help. It would have been doubly hard if my ex had known I am AS. I think that we should have the same constitutional rights as anyone else. If the court personnel want to explain the hidden curricula to us better, and help us understand the meanings of certain guidelines so that we do not misinterpret, I would be for that, but to treat us like liars or mentally ill people is completely wrong. To take our credibility away is a terrible thing. There are experts who actually believe that the AS partner should not get custody. I believe that just like any other

situation, it should be evvaluated case by case, and we should not be presumed less competent at child rearing. I cannot open two yahoo pages at the same time, so I will send the links with more of this information in reply to this thread, and you can read them. I wish that someone could ask the organizers to change the agenda in a way, so that we would not face additional discrimination. I would also hate to attend any other meeting and be told that because I disagreed with whatever I was presented with, that my opinion did not count, and that I was just unwilling to cooperate with everyone because I am AS. This is what is being presented, in part, and if it is in a legal arena, it can be used by any unscrupulous authority to ignore my concerns and those of any other AS. Authorities often have too much to do, and are glad of anything that will help them lower the amount of work assigned. It they are

encouraged to do this, and permited, they will be sorely tempted. It feels terrible to have no voice, or not be believed. You know, from your marriage. I know from life. Is there a way to tell people that we need to see communication increased, and not take the viewpoint given here? If you attend the conference, and could communicate my concern to others, that might even be more effective. I am a person, too. Thanks for any help. Daneka Wheeler wrote: Hi ,I'm not following the reasons why this particular conference is so upsetting to you. Could you explain?Thanks, Daneka, who's willing not to attend just because you asked Yeah, and so when is he coming to ST LOUIS MO? [aspires-relationsh ips] FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health

Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public - Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty:

Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D. About the Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome. Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood

and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality. Harriet Simons, Ph.D., received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year. ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia

University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome. MMHC Faculty Member: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry. Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax http://www.faaas. org/doc.php?

34,316

June 15, 2008

Daneka, Here are the websites I promised in my earlier reply to your ost. Please read that one first, if you can find it (computers do not always put things in order!) Thanks again for asking! I can see that Attwood and the other presenters really may not agree with these ideas as presented here, but it is still qite scary to me. http://www.faaas.org/doc.php?34,316http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/workshops2.html#"Asperger's Syndrome in Adults: Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including

CADD =96 A Workshop for Professionals and the Pu=blic"FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts ChapterAtwood is not the only person who has discussed Cassandra: here is another link:http://www.maxineaston.co.uk/cassandraA quote from a friend (CADD is Cassandra Affective Disorder)"From Aston:"Living in a relationship where Asperger syndrome is undiagnosed ordenied will often result in the non-AS partner being blamed. CADD islikely to be at it's height as the non-AS

partner (whether male orfemale) find themselves in a position of not being believed by eitherthe AS person or other people around them.It is these feelings of confusion, aloneness and desperation that haveresulted in the name Cassandra being applied to the condition".Linehan: Among the other writings about CADD (also called CAD) is anarticle by Sheila Jennings Linehan entitled "High Conflict andAsperger's Syndrome."http://www.faaas.org/doc.php?6,61The abstract for that article reads (with my asterisks to highlightthe worst part):"Where there is lengthy conflict related to separation, and where oneparty has Asperger's Syndrome, I submit here that **the source ofpost-separation conflict is likely to be found predominantly in theproblems generated by the

neurological disability. This view is aradical departure from the literature on high conflict separationwhich assumes that both parties are the source of post separationconflict.**"Individuals with Asperger's Syndrome create endless problemsunintentionally for the children and the neuro-typical co-parenteventually eroding the patience and understanding of the co-parent whostruggles constantly to move on, but who remains entrenched in oldproblems".The article can be found on the FAAAS website and was up untilrecently featured on the website of the National Autistic Society(NAS). Enough people protested its inclusion in the "resources"section of the NAS website that it was removed." "(Sorry for not changing double quotes to single quotes in the quotation above). - ] Daneka Wheeler wrote: Hi ,I'm not following the reasons why this particular conference is so upsetting to you. Could you explain?Thanks, Daneka, who's willing not to attend just because you asked--- On

Sun, 6/15/08, Princess <creativelywired> wrote: From: Princess <creativelywired>Subject: Re: FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008To: aspires-relationshipsyahoogroups (DOT) .comDate: Sunday, June 15, 2008, 1:57 AM Hi, I know you are excited about this workshop, but there is an unfair side to this that makes me want to totally melt down. Instead, I will do something more productive (I hope), and try to reach out to all the NTs on this list, and cry out for understanding. I am AS, and do not want to have to never disclose that, and am not ashamed of it. I have integrity in my relationships, and I care with all my heart

how other people feel, even when I cannot discern those feelings quickly, but I am asking you to care about mine and those of other AS. I am not mentally ill, and I am not a liar, and I am not manipulative, and I am not a cheater. I am a team player.. If I ever go to court, I want my rights to be respected just as much as everyone else's: the US constitution does not say that AS do not have equal rights. This conference is strongly advocating a prejudice against AS in the courtroom, when it comes to AS and custody or divorce procedings, or other family court action. That is highly unfair, and really scary. I already have enough trouble with being believed when I tell the truth and do not judge the emotions of others around me adequately.. I already have to work doubly hard to make eye contact at all times, so as not to be called a liar. I already have trouble in knowing when it is OK to ask for

clarification of directions because I do not understand them ,and when I ask for help, I am judged non-cooperative. If I do not ask, and answer a question other than what was intended because I do not understand the hidden curriculum, I am judged manipulative or worse! My IQ and educational level are too high for me to be called stupid: I am judged to be difficult, just because I am disabled. Why bother with ADA accommodations if I will be judged beforehand in certain Court actions? I am begging you to consider the other side. In an individual relationship, it is fine with me if someone considers the possiblity of anything. I am not fine with being judged. There are differences between right and wrong, and AS are accountable for their actions. To make this abundantly clear, if someone who cannot walk asks for help, nobody says that he or she is just being

manipulative, because they can see the disability. If I ask for help with understanding directions or social situations, I am not being manipulative either. It feels awful not to be brelieved. I lived with this for fifty-one years, till I cuould put a name to my disability: AS. Anyone who has read my earlier posts knows that I am never going to quit growing and learning, and that I welcomd corrections, adn freely admit when I am wrong. I am delighted to improve, and take great joy in learning more theory of mind- and in understanding the feelings of others. It is a revelation to me! My plea for help. here, is anything but a request to be allowed to be lazy and make an excuse. Anyone who reads my posts will see that I try very hard to be truthful. I do this even if it means I have to do more than I can: and then, I just ask for help in learning

how. Many of you have told me about setting boundaries so that NTs do not take advantage of me. I am not trying to get any free ride to be hateful or manipulative here. All I ask is that my rights not be abrogated by prejudice. It is wrong that what an NT says is not believed. It is equally wrong that what an AS says is not believed. I plan to protest this conference any way I can, and would love some assistance: I can empathize with Cassandra, and feel as though I have walked in her shoes many times. Please help me retain my credibility, and not have to hide being AS to do that. Please tell me how I can make this point effectively: I am not NT, and do not even know if my words are being received in a favorable light. I am not evil. this conference as advertised will take my credibility from me in any relationshhip I enter, expcet perhaps with another AS. I do not want you to be hurt and not believed, either. Can we please find a middle ground that is fair to us, too? Thank you for reading this. Dahlberg <pandy88sbcglobal (DOT) net> wrote: Yeah, and so when is he coming to ST LOUIS MO? [aspires-relationsh ips] FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public - Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D. About the Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides

being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome. Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality. Harriet Simons, Ph.D.,

received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year. ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome. MMHC Faculty

Member: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry. Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax http://www.faaas. org/doc.php? 34,316

June 15, 2008

It sounds like the kind of conference I would be interested in going to. If any of you go please put a bug in someone's ears to travel to the Midwest...possibly St Louis.

Sandy

FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

I'm not sure where he stands. Good question. Maybe knows.

Sandy

I'm not sure where he stands. Good question. Maybe knows.

Sandy

Hi Sandy:

My humble opinion...

That would be a question for Tony. He sits on the board of FAAAS. This is not the first workshop he has given for them. The transcripts for the first 2 are available online and others are available on audio tapes.

It has been years since he has given one of these workshops and his tone is based on the targeted audience and the questions they ask. That drives any conference and can change the direction of the message.

Autism is political in the USA and he has a handler. My guess is this conference will be driven like the previous ones to spouses and families that have AS in their families from THEIR perspective and needs. He will be addressing questions like what is it like to be in a relationship with someone that has AS? He has always been very respectful to those with AS because of the strong neurodiversity movement in the USA. His sister-in-law, Penny has AS.

If I was in the audience I would ask him 3 questions: (1) what is your reaction to the latest Supreme Court ruling that will now allow jurors to hear the party has AS and what do you think the implications from this decision will be? (2) I would cite the recent article targeting IT companies and why does he think they don't support their own? And last but not least, WHAT do U think is the road block for support and services for families and those with AS in the USA? But that is just me.

June 15, 2008

It sounds like someone should represent your case history to this group. I am not suggesting that you be there to defend yourself or that anyone uses your name or the names of others that were involved. But, it sounds like you have a very meaningful and real situation that this group would find fascinating and could hash out.

It also sounds like you would be the proof that rights should not be taken away from the person with Aspies.

I wonder if (without being too sexist here) that the issue should more closely be that the law should somehow not discredit the woman, whether she is AS or NT. It seems (and I know this may be sexist..and geez I used to try totally to never be) that it is women's (mother's) rights that may be trying to be protected in custody battles etc.

Ahhh. And this is Fathers Day.

Sandy

[aspires-relationsh ips] FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public -

Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D.

About the Speakers:

Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome.

Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality.

Harriet Simons, Ph.D., received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year.

ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome.

MMHC Faculty Member:

Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry.

Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax

http://www.faaas. org/doc.php? 34,316

June 15, 2008

Thanks .I read the article by Linehan, and I understand your concern. She does appear to advocate for a legal presumption that the AS parent is incapable of acting as a proper parent. I don't know how seriously she is taken; people say things in research papers just to be provocative sometimes, just to get a debate going. Having Tony Attwood's notoriety and credibility attached to the position would be the problem. I would guess that he'd challenge the position, though I can't say I've read anything he might have written about Aspergers and parenting. I actually think it will go nowhere. would know better than I do, but I would

guess that the road to establishing a legal presumption, that would apply to all cases, is a very long, thorny one. At least here in the States, it goes

completely against the grain -- the belief that everyone is entitled to their day in court, the belief that everyone has the burden to prove up their case, the disdain for profiling. A legal presumption relieves one side from the burden of proving their case, and instead allowing them to establish just one fact about the person and let the case prove itself. I actually think legal academics would jump all over Linehan's position, even if the psychologists do come to accept it.I once read that, at the moment, the fact that one parent has Aspergers generally is not admissible in family courts because the diagnosis is so recently recognized. It would be a long way to go from inadmissibility to a legal presumption. I do understand, though, how hurtful and insulting such a position can be to someone who is AS and a good loving conscientious parent.My only concern is what happens if people like you don't participate in the

debate,

if they boycott such conferences. Without being challenged, this sort of thinking takes on a life of its own, feeding on itself and increasingly convinced of its own correctness. There certainly are individual cases where the parent with Aspergers has difficulty with the day-to-day of parenting because of AS-related behaviors. We all know of them. The problem is how wide the net is thrown. In my view, the healthy AS community shouldn't keep its head in the sand. I think it should take ownership of the issue, become part of the debate, provide support, and be part of establishing a workable and realistic framework that sets parameters that serves the needs of everyone - before someone else does it for them. (Remember how Clinton determined to solve the health care problems of America without inviting the AMA to the table?) Solve it, or someone else will, maybe not to your liking.

Daneka, getting off her soapbox for now and sending you a big hug Yeah, and so when is he coming to

ST LOUIS MO? [aspires-relationsh ips] FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health

Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public - Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty:

Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D. About the Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome. Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also

associated with Prof. Attwood

and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality. Harriet Simons, Ph.D., received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year. ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level

courses at Columbia

University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome. MMHC Faculty Member: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry. Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax http://www.faaas. org/doc.php?

34,316

June 16, 2008

and Daneka,

Funny you should mention that article. Many moons ago I wrote on Aspires about the issues I too had with that article. I wrote a very lengthy dissection of it. The author was a subscriber to the Aspires list at the time, though didn't participate; I don't know if she still is. But I voiced (and penned) my very strongly felt view that the particular article, in my opinion, was incendiary and dangerous and just plain wrong. I took exception to it professionally for the things it suggested and the impact I worried such a view could have, if people wrongly thought it was an accepted view in the courts. As I recall the author vehemently objected to my rebuttal, in turn. But apparently I wasn't the only one who disagreed with the article if NAS removed it from their website. And as mentioned, Aspires came to be in large part because of divergence of views with the FAAAS folks. So take heart -- the opinions expressed in that article are merely the author's, and thankfully it has so far not reared its ugly head in any courts in which I practice.

[aspires-relationsh ips] FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public -

Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D.

About the Speakers:

Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome.

Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality.

Harriet Simons, Ph.D., received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year.

ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome.

MMHC Faculty Member:

Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry.

Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax

http://www.faaas. org/doc.php? 34,316

June 16, 2008

Sandy, Thanks for rephrasing this. I think that sexism is exactly the point. Women have beed discredited over and over as illogical, and men have been billeted as logical. It isnt always the case, and for who is right, one can be wrong, and act unemotional about it. I do not think that As have any corner on the market here, and in correcting the sexist stereotypes, I really like your idea of saying to stop pre-judging women basd on whether they sound emotional. Your remarks do not sound sexist, but anti-sexist. As for my case history, if you just summarize a few things and share, it is fine, but keep things in the most general terms, and do not tell them that I live in New England. I am not too sure that FAAAS rank and file want to hear a counter-example to what they have a need to believe: what do you think? On this list, FAAAS has been

touted as a place where NT wives can vent forever, and go on hating AS without leaning any facts, if that is what they want to do- or did I take this wrongly? I know that Attwood is on the board: is he an expert who is there for the name and the glory, or does he have enough influence to change the (apparently) negative, pejorative attitude? I have any number of AS friends who ask me for materials to read. I will not recommend any book which states that AS should be discriminated against, legally. What are the best books to recomment for those of us with a very active theory of mind, which may be quite incorrect in places? Dahlberg wrote: It sounds like someone should represent your case history to this group. I am not suggesting that you be there to defend yourself or that anyone uses your name or the names of others that were involved. But, it sounds like you have a very meaningful and real situation that this group would find fascinating and could hash out. It also sounds like you would be the proof that rights should not be taken away from the person with Aspies. I wonder if (without being too sexist here) that the issue should more closely be that the law should somehow not discredit the

woman, whether she is AS or NT. It seems (and I know this may be sexist..and geez I used to try totally to never be) that it is women's (mother's) rights that may be trying to be protected in custody battles etc. Ahhh. And this is Fathers Day. Sandy [aspires-relationsh ips] FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public - Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D. About the Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides

being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome. Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality. Harriet Simons, Ph.D.,

received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year. ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome. MMHC Faculty

Member: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry. Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax http://www.faaas. org/doc.php? 34,316

June 16, 2008

My reply to you is in Blue.

Sandy

Sandy,

Thanks for rephrasing this. I think that sexism is exactly the point. Women have beed discredited over and over as illogical, and men have been billeted as logical. It isnt always the case, and for who is right, one can be wrong, and act unemotional about it. I do not think that As have any corner on the market here, and in correcting the sexist stereotypes, I really like your idea of saying to stop pre-judging women basd on whether they sound emotional. Your remarks do not sound sexist, but anti-sexist. (I agree with you. A man may take my remarks as sexist. It seems to me that each legal case should be taken case by case. This does seem a difficult issue and doesn't seem to be able to be generalized.)

As for my case history, if you just summarize a few things and share, it is fine, but keep things in the most general terms, and do not tell them that I live in New England. I won't be going to the conference . I am not too sure that FAAAS rank and file want to hear a counter-example to what they have a need to believe: what do you think? (Geez I must know nothing of the Rank and File. I would have assumed they would be supportive of getting the word out on Aspergers, making it less invisible to the public, trying to achieve more support and funding for people with aspergers. And if they have children, those children will grow up to possibly become parents. I doubt that this rank and file would want their children to be discriminated against in court when they become adults and parents themselves. My opinion.

On this list, FAAAS has been touted as a place where NT wives can vent forever, and go on hating AS without leaning any facts, if that is what they want to do- or did I take this wrongly? I know that Attwood is on the board: is he an expert who is there for the name and the glory, or does he have enough influence to change the (apparently) negative, pejorative attitude? (, I do not HATE any AS. If it appears so from my venting, I apologize. I am frustrated with my own personal situation. I am frustrated that it took my husband until he was 55 to learn of this. Now it is possible that he can get support, at least mine, but I think it is much tougher to teach an old dog new tricks. I am amazed that the US is so far behind the times. And so far behind the Australians. I think the NT wives on this board are trying to learn. Attwood doesn't

seem to be in it for glory as far as I read. I like the book The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrom. He seems very fair. I like the fact that he gives the person with Aspergers the last word in each chapter. I think every NT or AS on this board would support you.)

I have any number of AS friends who ask me for materials to read. I will not recommend any book which states that AS should be discriminated against, legally. What are the best books to recomment for those of us with a very active theory of mind, which may be quite incorrect in places? I'm not sure .

How old are your kids now ? (sandy)

[aspires-relationsh ips] FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008

FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public -

Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D.

About the Speakers:

Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome.

Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality.

Harriet Simons, Ph.D., received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year.

ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome.

MMHC Faculty Member:

Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry.

Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax

http://www.faaas. org/doc.php? 34,316

June 16, 2008

OK , Thanks for replying. I will email him and see what he says. I hope I can read the reply I get back, and that it is not vague. I certainly take no offense to your request. I was referring to Sheila Linehan, and had no idea of the connection between her father and Lorna Wing. No, I do not think that a group that supports discriminating against all AS is a valid group. I had to learn not to discriminate in my heart against all NTs for one that may have hurt me. My theory of mind grew as a result. I feel badly for anyone who is isolated or freels that way, especially when their primary way to connect in is nono-verbal skills. Hurting all of us for what their husband may have done and the wrong they suffered is not the answer. I tell the same thiing to other AS all the time. I mean it. Collective guilt does not work any better for

AS/NT commujnication than it did for those who killed Jews in the name of Christ (and I am a Jew who believes in Jesus Christ as my Messiah- and lived with both sides of this issue for the first decade I was a believer, or so, till the two sides learned to work together- and that has happened to a large extent tiday, at least in the USA in regards to the State of Israel). It is also completely wrong for a Jew to blame all gentiles for what Hitler and his machine did during WWII. (I have four relatives that I know of who were execured that way.) I think that a group that advocates information that can help relationships is a great thing, but there needs to be a line drawn. I would not want to judge one human being based on being hurt by another. That is a basis for prejudice, and I have been trained by both AS and NT to believe that this is wrong. Wouldn't you agree? I know better than to say that an AS

can't help it and can't do any better, as a general rule. I can see where an un-diagnosed AS may have that issue- I certainly diid- but there rules would not even address that. These rules would be punishing AS for being diagnosed! It is rules like that which made me delay investigating this as long as I did. I was afraid of discrimination. No, I do not want legislation or even training that will discourage AS from coming forward to be tested and explore the idea, and get help. Reducing that stigma will make it easier for us to disclose, ask questions, and grow. I think NTs would like this, as well. Newland wrote: : I know you were addressing Daneka, but allow me to offer my response. ASPIRES jump started because of FAAAS, their tone and the fact that seven of us were thrown off their list for wanting to work on our relationships. Lol Not the message /list owner wanted to hear or venue

or vision she had for FAAAS at that time. Hence the birth of ASPIRES. There is a time and place for everything. I hear your pain in your words and request for NT’s to listen better. This is part of the reason for ASPIRES. WE are listening. We hear your frustration and it is similar to what we face being NT going through the legal system and support agencies. This is one issue that binds us together as the Courts can be blind to us regardless of what side you are on. It should NOT be the label but the behavior in regards to child custody. Having little eye contact

should mean nothing as it has nothing to do with rising healthy kids. Are U referring to Sheila Jennings Linehan, an attorney whose father mentored with Lorna Wing who has written articles on AS/NS custody issues from Canada? Maybe it is not a label but the behavior the courts should look at while providing appropriate supportsto kids? But what do those supports look like as no 2 are alike and who is going to find the funding or training? We just keep running in circles and families have to find their own way at their own expense. AS adults have the neurodiversity movement, why begrudge families for having a similar support system? I know it might sound like a witch hunt to you, but it

is just support for families and trying to empower them to be more accepting or learning when to call it a day and that has nothing to do with a label, just behavior that is harmful for the one on the receiving end regardless if thye are AS or NT. Advocacy/awareness and support go both ways. I say this in love and sisterhood, email Tony @ tonytonyattwood.au with your concerns about this conference. Let your voice be heard. That is being proactive. This is SOMETHING you can do to make a difference. Just me. Light and Love

June 16, 2008

and , My dear friend a who is AS and is an advocate for autistic folk wrote to NAS and protested effectively and eloquently. That is how the artical came to be inspected carefully, and finally removed from the website. When she told me about it, I wrote them a letter thanking them for removing it, and for considering it seriously. We are very much involved, and want to be part of that decision-making process. a has been to washington a number of times to speak to committees and give well-reasoned input- I am trying hard to convince her to join ASPIRES, because she works so hard on her relationships with the NTs in her life, and really cares about all people. I am the one who has not gotten involved as much as I need to. What is the latest on when a court can hear that a party has AS or ASD? Thanks,

" D. Pawliczek" wrote: and Daneka, Funny you should mention that article. Many moons ago I wrote on Aspires about the issues I too had with that article. I wrote a very lengthy dissection of it. The author was a subscriber to the Aspires list at the time, though didn't participate; I don't know if she still is. But I voiced (and penned) my very strongly felt view that the particular article, in my

opinion, was incendiary and dangerous and just plain wrong. I took exception to it professionally for the things it suggested and the impact I worried such a view could have, if people wrongly thought it was an accepted view in the courts. As I recall the author vehemently objected to my rebuttal, in turn. But apparently I wasn't the only one who disagreed with the article if NAS removed it from their website. And as mentioned, Aspires came to be in large part because of divergence of views with the FAAAS folks. So take heart -- the opinions expressed in that article are merely the author's, and thankfully it has so far not reared its ugly head in any courts in which I practice. [aspires-relationsh ips] FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health

Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden" Disorderon Relationships including CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public - Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty:

Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D. About the Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides being a practicing psychologist, he is also a world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome. Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood

and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality. Harriet Simons, Ph.D., received her doctorate from the Heller School at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year. ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia

University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome. MMHC Faculty Member: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry. Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax http://www.faaas. org/doc.php?

34,316

June 16, 2008

Daneka, Thanks for the hug- I am sending you a big one, back. Thanks for reading this article and realizing my concerns. I will email Attwood, and ask. I hope he is not advocating this position, but I guess I will find out. I will have to be as active as I can, but I am asking for NT help, too: after all, this discrimination will apply to yor children and other loved ones with AS. I will try to get involved as creatively as I can, anyway. Many hugs, Daneka Wheeler wrote: Thanks .I read the article by Linehan, and I understand your concern. She does appear to advocate for a legal presumption that the AS parent is incapable of acting as a proper parent. I don't know how seriously she is taken; people say things in research papers just to be provocative sometimes, just to get a debate going. Having Tony Attwood's notoriety and credibility attached to the position would be the problem. I would guess that he'd challenge the position, though I can't say I've read anything he might have written about

Aspergers and parenting. I actually think it will go nowhere. would know better than I do, but I would guess that the road to establishing a legal presumption, that would apply to all cases, is a very long, thorny one. At least here in the States, it goes completely against the grain -- the belief that everyone is entitled to their day in court, the belief that everyone has the burden to prove up their case, the disdain for profiling. A legal presumption relieves one side from the burden of proving their case, and instead allowing them to establish just one fact about the person and let the case prove itself. I actually think legal academics would jump all over Linehan's position, even if the psychologists do come to accept it.I once read that, at the moment, the fact that one parent has Aspergers generally is not admissible in family courts because the diagnosis is so recently recognized. It would be a long way to

go from inadmissibility to a legal presumption. I do understand, though, how hurtful and insulting such a position can be to someone who is AS and a good loving conscientious parent.My only concern is what happens if people like you don't participate in the debate, if they boycott such conferences. Without being challenged, this sort of thinking takes on a life of its own, feeding on itself and increasingly convinced of its own correctness. There certainly are individual cases where the parent with Aspergers has difficulty with the day-to-day of parenting because of AS-related behaviors. We all know of them. The problem is how wide the net is thrown. In my view, the healthy AS community shouldn't keep its head in the sand. I think it should take ownership of the issue, become part of the debate, provide support, and be part of establishing a workable and realistic framework that sets parameters that serves the needs

of everyone - before someone else does it for them. (Remember how Clinton determined to solve the health care problems of America without inviting the AMA to the table?) Solve it, or someone else will, maybe not to your liking. Daneka, getting off her soapbox for now and sending you a big hug Yeah, and so when is he coming to ST LOUIS MO? [aspires-relationsh

ips] FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS/MMHC/NASW; Asperger's Syndrome Workshop for Professionals & Public: Oct 22-23, 2008 FAAAS (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome)with co-sponsorsMMHC (Massachusetts Mental Health Center)Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Harvard Medical SchoolDepartment of Psychiatry at the Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical CenterandNASW/MA (National Association of Social Workers, Massachusetts Chapter)presentAsperger's Syndrome in Adults:Effects of the "Hidden"

Disorderon Relationships including CADD- A Workshop for Professionals and the Public - Keynote Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D. & Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D.Guest Speakers: Harriet Simons, Ph.D. & ita Lovett, Ph.D.Faculty: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D. About the Speakers: Prof. Tony Attwood, Ph.D., is an Adjunct Associate Professor at Griffith University in Queensland, Australia. He has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 25 years, working with over 2000 children and adults with Asperger’s Syndrome at his clinic in Brisbane. Besides being a practicing psychologist, he is also a

world renowned author of articles and books on AS. He lectures and offer workshops around the globe on the subject of AS. He is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals and his latest book, The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome. Isabelle Hénault, Ph.D., is a sexologist and psychologist, in private practice in Montreal. She is also associated with Prof. Attwood and his clinic in Brisbane, Australia. Her area of expertise is sexuality and relationships of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. She has authored sex education curriculum and she has presented at numerous conferences worldwide. She is the author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality. Harriet Simons, Ph.D., received her doctorate from the Heller School

at Brandeis University where she was a trainee in Public Policy and the Family. She has a private practice in Wellesley treating individuals and couples. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor in Research at the College School for Social Work. Dr. Simons has offered three "Listening to Cassandra" workshops in Massachusetts, within the past year. ita Lovett, Ph.D., received her doctorate from Columbia University, She taught graduate level courses at Columbia University, Field Supervisor, Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied Psychology, Rutgers, New Brunswick, N.J. She has been a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice, evaluating and treating adults and adolescents as well as couples and family therapy. Dr. Lovett is the author of Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome. MMHC Faculty Member: Lawrence E. Lifson, M.D., is a lecturer on Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School; Director of Continuing Education, Massachusetts Medical Health Center and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Department of Psychiatry. Location:Boston Marriott Quincy Hotel1000 Marriott Drive, Quincy, Ma. 02169 United StatesPhone Fax http://www.faaas. org/doc.php? 34,316

June 16, 2008