Re: clothes fixation...........

[Guest guest]

How far do you live from your mom?

My mom is rather the opposite of yours, as far as childhood. She was the

little curly-haired sweetheart who was always adored by her daddy's friends

(he was a police captain) and could charm any of the men. She was kept

adorable with ribbons and frilly dresses. She has lived her entire life as

arm candy, learning early on to use her beauty and charm to get what she

wanted from men, and has never been truly independent as she's used and

discarded many men since her divorce from my dad (and, he claimed, during

their marriage). She never really developed inner strength or a calm center

to herself; rather, she's lived by manipulation and charm. These sound like

harsh words but I don't mean them thus; it's simply how she was/is. The

only way to have a relationship with her has been to accept who she is.

I've often said that if I were to meet her, I wouldn't choose her as a

friend. She's been the life of the party, the perfect hostess, the

concerned parent and loving grandparent when she had an audience, and we

take what we can get. Just fact.

Where your mom cared about her appearance after her concern for others, my

mom's appearance was a means to an end and her self-absorption has been

lifelong. So that part hasn't changed, although it has intesified. As you

say, I'm sure that the LBD plays a role in that.

I hope that you will have another opportunity to be with your mom soon .

All the best to you!

His,

Sherry

www.owly.net

----- Original Message -----

> My Mom, also, had 'fixations.'

>

> Depending on the day and what area of the house we were clearing, she

> would fixate. It could be hair-rollers, address book, tax papers,

> constipation, scarfs, purses, shoes, etc. etc.

>

> My Mom had some many clothes, shoes, purses........she was poor when

> she was a child, without a decent outfit to wear. I believe that was

> why she over-compensated as an adult. She was VERY particular about

> her appearance and always dressed to the 'nines.' Even today (with

> DLB) she loves to look nice (hair, nails, lipstick, matching outfit).

>

> My mother always thought of others first but with DLB, she is self-

> absorbed and thinks only of herself. With DLB, their world is their-

> self, mainly b/c it takes so much energy and thought to get their

> desires across.

>

> It's been two weeks since I was with Mom. I have tried to call

> several times but she does not answer. My 'crying spells' are less

> frequent and I am looking for full-time employment.

>

> I haven't heard a word from my siblings.....I guess they are glad she

> is 'outta their hair', so to speak. Mom and I, both, wish I lived

> closer........I miss her.