Listening to joys is more enjoyable than listening to concerns

October 24, 2008

When I am around people who seem to bitch a lot, I don't enjoy being

around them.

I realize instead of saying they 'bitch' a lot, I could say 'who

express a lot of concerns with how their life is going,' but either

way I seem to let it affect my mood

I have one ex-friend who lives where I'm moving to, and we once used

to get together frequently and have a good time. But the last few

times we got together, seems like she just bitched and bitched. I am

clearer now that she was just caught up in her stories. Then I guess

I let myself get caught up in mine; including that being around

people who gripe isn't enjoyable, but being around people who enjoy

their life is.

I spoke up to her, saying I was finding it hard to be around her, as

she was complaining so much. She got teary eyed, apologized, and said

next time we got together she would be more positive. It got better

for awhile, but one time she called me and just started bitching.

After awhile, I just gently hung up the phone. She called back, I

didn't answer. I wrote her a letter explaining why I hung up. Now I

find myself thinking of asking if she'd like to get together. Hmm,

not sure why I'd do that, and wondering if I do, will I again put

limitations on how she can be around me? God, that sounds crappy,

that I won't just let a friend be how they are.

I should enjoy being around people who complain. Is that true?

Well, no, as usually I don't.

How do I feel when I think this thought?

Well, another thought follows, that I wish I had more friends. But

then again I just like being around people I like being around. Okay,

I 'feel' my chest tighten, throat and face tighten. Feels like I'm

withdrawing/closing up.

Who would I be without this thought? Ahhh, my eyes relax, a smile

comes to my face. It IS okay, it IS reality, that I don't enjoy it.

Yeah that's okay.

Hey, now I don't feel like complaining about those who complain too

much.

And now, I find I enjoy being with me.

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