Guest guest Posted October 24, 2008 Report Share Posted October 24, 2008 I NEED THEIR APPROVAL is that true? yes it's true can you absolutely know that you need their approval? no i cant how do you react when you believe this belief? i feel smaller than them, inferior, powerless, defensive, tensed, uptight, i can't function, im mad at myself, i try and pretend im not experiencing this, i put on a mask of.. something, i feel weak, not taking any chances, living the movie in my head where everybody around are looking at me and laughing and snub me. who would you be if you didn't believe you need their approval? free, simply free. sky is the limit, i'd be a star, a star in the sky. T.A: i dont need their approval 1.cause i dont have it 2.even their approval doesn't set me free to the degree im dreaming about, it just cause me to look for it even more and live my life to get it's fix. T.A: i need my own approval 1.right, this is the one.. being free no matter what they say, living by my own guidlines and not others. T.A: they need my approval 1.i guess many of them do, have the same problem, it's reasonable to think they might hide it the same way i do .. or some other way. so is that the truth you need their approval? in some degree i still feel i need them to love me. so you need them to love you. is that the truth? yes can you absolutely know this? i think i can, it runs so deep. from 1 to 10, how much do you believe this thought? 10 how do you react the belief you need them to love you when they dont seem to care about you what so ever? i get very.. very frustrated, i lock myself in, feeling ashamed, im mentally being in their business and their world.. where im not exist in. i wanna die. i feel small, i feel i dont exist, i feel inferior, small and less worthy than everybody, i invest energy to cover up how i feel so nobody catch's me being miserable in a party. i lie regarding whats up with me (in case someones asking). im checking none stop who looks at me, who dont, feeling disconnected, separated, fearful, INSECURE, and i just wanna go home and be left alone to cry. who's business is it who do you love? my own. who's business is it who they love? theirs. so in who's business are you when you want them to love you? their business. who would you be if you didn't believe you need them to love you? i wouldn't care what anybody think. i would be self observed on the other hand, and open and friendly on the other hand. i'd be very self secure, powerful, saying whatever i want to who ever i want.. unapologetic, in short... a free man, joyful, and with a much different personality than above. T.A: i dont need them to love me 1.right, i can see now im not nessecarily depended on that.. in hope that my brain's chemical will view this too. T.A: i need myself to love me 1.right. and i need to stay in my own business.. they have a free will, it's their stuff when they dont love me or do love me.. it has nothing to do with me. T.A: they need me to love them that is absolutely correct. and when im in defense more because i need it from them .. i dont give it to them .. and they dont give it back. when i have love for myself, i have love to give.. and then they have it to give. T.A: i need them to hate me 1.yea.. to get this over once and for all. to get free from this needing love curse. to be continue... (maybe) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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