Re: Inquiry: I need to be admired

[Guest guest]

Good work on this! I have explored something very similar in my own Work. It

reminds me of 's LAA: The seemingly endless need for Love, Approval, and

Appreciation.

In fact, it might be time to investigate this one again....

>

>

> 1) Is it true?

> -I need to be admired.

>

> What's the reality of it?

> -Often I'm not.

>

> Whose business is it?

> -Other people's.

>

> 2) Can you absolutely know it's true?

> No.

>

>

> What do you think you would have?

> Happiness.

>

> What's the worst that could happen?

> Lonliness.

>

> What's the should?

> I should be admired if I'm loveable, and I need to be loved to be

> happy.

>

> 3) How do you react when you think that thought?

> (I need to be admired).

> I feel a lot of fear. Fear of being plain. Ugly. Boring. Dumb. Doing

> something else so that I'm missing out on the chance to be admired. I

> wait for other people's responses. I spend inordinate amounts of time

> making myself look good. I compare myself. I'm like people I don't like.

> Kind of creepy. Insecure. Waiting for someone else to make me feel

> secure.

>

> Can you see a reason to drop that thought? (And please don't)

> Oh my god, yes.

>

> 4) Who would you be without that thought?

> (I need to be admired.)

> Relaxed! Confident. Oblivious. In my own business. Spending time on

> other things that I care about more. Letting the universe flow through

> me, instead of trying to control it. Allowing, not resisting. Having fun

> for me. Not worried about what other people think. More about what *I*

> think.

>

>

> Turnaround

>

> to myself: (I need to admire.) omg... so true. See others as source is a

> much better road to happiness. I want to be admired so that I feel

> happy... but admiring is a happier activity.

>

> to the other: (You need to be admired). Others have the need to be

> admired, so perhaps they're too busy with that to be admiring me!

> Hmmm... sounds familiar.

>

> to the opposite: (I don't need to be admired). What would life be like

> without being admired? I can't imagine. Well... this summer at Caswell,

> I didn't worry about admiration. It was freeing in a way. It actually

> left me the space to be able to focus on others more. I wasn't worried

> about me. So I felt happier.

>

> Wow.

>

> I am willing to/ I look forward to... not being admired.

>