a question... and a little bit of a vent/update. Long!

[Guest guest]

Hi ALl

Ok first my question.... Do any of you get mouth sores, like

canker sores on your tongue or swollen taste buds? I get them all the

time... And lately I have had a hard time talking and eating becuase

I have had one on the right side of my tonuge for 2 weeks then when

it started to go away one popped up on the left side... and now I

have one on each side... OUCH!!

Now as far as I am doing well honesly horribe... but its cause of

stress and pain. the septic tank has been fixed since mondy. I havnet

really had time to post because I have been busy with trying to find

a specialist for FMS and looking for a new car and packing for my

move. I only have 4 boxes done so far but it is taking a lot out of

me when I pack because I am getting rid of stuff that I dont need

anymore. Then is getting into everything so he keeps me rather

busy... The roomate deal is getting worse... but I am standing up for

myself. I am tired of being treated like I am develop mentally

disabled. I can understand most things and just cause I fortget

things doesnt make me stupid! Jack (my roomie/ land lord) said that

all women are stupid Bitches... I looked at him and said " Im not

stupid! Even though you may think I am, But I am far from stupid! "

Then later that night he had a female visitor over.... I have respect

enough not to get into an argument with him in front of company....

But he glared at me because MY lotion was almost empty.... I said'

dont glare at me! " and he said " why not? " I looked at him and said "

you have company Jack... and believe me you dont want me to go there

right now! " If she wouldnt have been there I would have went off on

him about being a imature little boy for mooching off a single

disables mom and her son because he still hasnt helped out with

anything besides 3 gallons of milk. While I was gone last week I left

the house pretty much clean... the only things that were out was my

laundry which I need help carring up stairs... and boxes cause I am

getting ready to move... When I came home the house was a total

mess... and who had to clean it???? Oh but of cores the house slave,

A.K.A me. I just want to smack him upside the head with a frying pan

and knock some sence into him! I am so fet up with him coming home

and whinging to me about how horrible his life is.... He makes 12-15

dollars an hour has a brand new truck and doesnt pay any bills or for

food... yeah his life is so rough..BoooHoooo... But when ever I say

something he bitches at me... I told him that my mom wanted to know

when he was going to burn the trash and he yelled at me because he

was having a bad day. I just dont know what to do anymore... I am

running my self ragged because I dont have enough hands or energy to

be able to clean and pack and take care of all at the same

time. The good news though is that tomorrow my friend Krissy is

coming over to visit with me while I pack so I wont be so lonely. I

can get a lot done if I have someone to visit with and someone who

wont let me get side tracked lol. I called about my apartment the

other day and fran (the manager..very nice) said it wont be ready for

at least 3 weeks so that is good cause I didnt want to have to rush

pack like I did last time I moved. I dont want my things to get

broken. Oh last night I hurt so bad I couldnt walk up the sairs I had

to crawl... My Pecocet doesnt do anything for me anymore... and I

have had my RX doubled now I take 2 percocets every 8 hours. But it

doesnt help one bit. I did how ever sleep well last night... I took

the magnetic mattress topper off the bed, but besides that I was

exhausted cause wouldnt take a nap for me yesterday so I

missed out on one for me... Today he even fought his nap... but I

knew he was tired. I cant deal with a fussy kid on top of being in

pain and stressed out about moving and getting a new car... Oh yeah

about the car. My son's uncle is going to get my car... His last two

cars were stolen, and he cant afford a car right now... So his

parents are going to buy me a car woohooo an automatic! they have

been looking at Volvos for me cause I like them, or a honda 2 door

but automatic... and I could handle the two door cause soon steven

will be big enough to get in and out of his car seat on his own.

Sorry if I havent been a big part of the family lately I have a lot

on my plate. Tomorrow is the big confrence 0n Fms about 45 minutes

from where I live.... I wanted to go but I didnt sign up in time...

but My father (who I dont like cause he is a jurk) But I called him

and asked if he could split the cost of the convention with my mom

which would be 15 dollars each and he said sure... I got 30 bucks

from him two days ago... I about fell out of my chair. I ended up

using the money for things that I needed for my house but I think

that is the nicest thing my father has done in years becides the 100

bucks I got cause he forgot my birthday. Lets just put it this way...

My father molested me and my half sister when I was little... then

treated me like shit after my mom divorced him... Untill my son was

born he was never a big part of my life. And my father was irate

because I named my son after my Step dad who is passed away in 1999.

My step dad was my Daddy... he was the only man that loved me like I

was his own child. My father has introduced me as his step daughter

and called his step daughter his real daughter. He has done some

serious pshycological dammage to me!!! But as soon as my son was born

my father turned around and was trying to be a good grandpa... I

thought about it and said " maybe I should have been a boy.... maybe

then he would have loved me " No child should ever have to go therw

that hoorible feeling that they must be worthless if even their own

flesh and blood doesnt want to know or love them. Ok enough about

that.

I found out that the doctor I was told I was going to see isnt

taking pacients because for the last 2 years he has been doing FMS

research with a lady named Janice Hoffman (who is a friend of s

Dad's family). And Janice does exercise videos for fibromites. You

all should look into them.... Especially people like Norah and I who

need a low impact with lost of resting work out. She told me to do a

bicept curl then wake 5 minutes and do the same on the other side.

Then do a leg curl and wait 5 minutes then do the same on the other

side... It makes soooooo much sence.if you use your muscles too much

with out taking breaks you are doing nothing but dammaging them. They

are going to be starting another study and I am going to try to get

on as a fibromite for them to use in the study. The doctor that is

doing this is Dr. Bennete. I have head wonderful things about him...

And the woman that took his place in the Fibro clinic is Kim ...

and I guess she is just as great as dr. Bennete.

Ok well I think I have written enough for the day... hehe See you

all the next time I am taking a break from packing.

ka