Re: Behavior Discussion # 4 - Delusions: I steal his money, I'm having an affair wit

[Guest guest]

I was accused of having an affair with any man that stopped to talk to me. When

I had to go grocery shopping and could no longer take him, because he was not

able to walk without support of another person and he lost the ability to figure

out how to use the electric grocery cart, I would have to leave him with an

in-home caregiver to go shopping and because I was leaving on my own meant that

I was leaving to go out and meet my lover. No amount of telling him I was going

grocery shopping and I didn't have a lover would convince him otherwise. It was

hurtful at first, but we had to eat and instead of arguing the fact that I

didn't have a lover, I would give him a kiss and say " see you later " and off I

would go and not look back. It then turned to the neighbors and if I was outside

with my husband and a male neighbor walked up to talk, I was accused of having

an affair with that person, because he was friendly towards me.

My husband in his healthy years would be out there talking to the neighbors. One

of the neighbors I had to explain to him what was going on, because my husband

took such issues with him and he had no clue why my husband was so angry at him.

The neighbor was just being friendly by coming over and asking if I needed help

with anything. He knew my situation with Jim, but didn't know he was being

accused of being my lover. He is a happily married man.

I started hiring male caregivers for my husband, because the females would get

hooked into soap operas and leave my husband to eat lunch by himself in the

kitchen. I found this out coming home early from work a few times. The male

caregivers became suspicion to my husband also.  My husband's thought :    (I

must have hired him because he is my lover and I wanted him near me) When my

husband was admitted into the nursing home, any CNA male that talked to me got

the evil eye, because my husband was suspicious of them also and he was very

angry if I talked to any of them. Of course, I have to talk to the CNA that is

caring for my husband once in awhile and sometimes it is a male, depending on

the shift. I was being accused too of having an affair when I wasn't at the nh

visiting my husband. I must be having an affair when I am not there with him. If

he only knew the amount of energy that would take, not to mention that I love

him dearly and would

never do such a thing to him.

He has been at the nursing home for two years now and I think he got over the

jealousy of me having affairs or he just can't beat it, so he let it go.

Behavior Discussion # 4 - Delusions: I steal his money,

I'm having an affair wit

Behavior Discussion # 4 - Delusions: I steal his money, I'm having an

affair with another man

I personally don't have any direct advice, except in regards to

delusions, they're the same as the hallucinations - they're as real to

them as seeing you & me. The thoughts are as real to them as actual

facts. So validate (as in listen to their false belief and provide them

a reassuring statement) & redirect (try to change the subject after

providing them a lending ear to listen.)

I'm sure others will give far better advice...

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