Advice--sorry if you have addressed this before

[Guest guest]

Hi everybody. I searched through some past posts and didn't see anything that

specifically

addressed this particular issue so I was hoping you guys could help me with some

advice. I

apologize if I missed a previous post that addressed the same issue.

As some of you may remember, almost exactly a month ago my nada had a breakdown

because of the stress of moving, she was required to take care of herself for

once, and

noone came to her rescue to the standards she was looking for, resulting in a

suicide

attempt, and I went NC. Since then she attempted to contact me by phone, and to

avoid

her nasty messages I changed my cell # and blocked her # on the house phone.

She was

hospitalized for three days post-suicide attempt, after which all these nasty

calls occurred,

asking for forgiveness blah blah blah. How interesting that she could be so

nasty and yet

still expect me to call her back. I guess she thought making me mad and

insulting me

would get me to call her since the sweet apologies didn't work. No bites on

that bait.

Anyway, a week later she was supposed to show up at an Aunt's house but never

did.

Since she didn't answer her phone for two days after being a no show, my Aunt

and my

nada's friend were worried and called the police (she moved a few miles from me

but an

hour from them...they called me first and I told them they were SOL if they

thought I was

going over there to check on her. HA that' exactly what she wanted! NO WAY)

Well my fada (she divorced him last year yet still tries ordering him around)

told me she

was in the mental hospital but it turns out the cops found her in bed supposedly

paralyzed

in one leg and took her to the hospital, where she has now been for two weeks.

I have

never heard of one sided leg paralysis, but she told them she was in bed for

three days

and couldn't move, after a fall. Interesting that the bed was not soiled, so

she had to have

gotten to the bathroom, but she couldn't answer her friend or my aunt's calls,

or answer

the door when the cops knocked? No way, she was waiting for someone to come to

her

rescue and she really thought I would do it since I am so close and everyone

else is far

away. whatever, maybe I am reading into it? LOL Doubtful. Regardless they

put her in

the medical ward supposedly with terrible nerve painin herr leg and she may

never walk

again blah blah blah. (Take all this info with a grain of salt too because it

is coming from

her friends, who get all their info from HER) I hate that I feel this way but

first of all I don't

believe her, and second of all I don't care. I really just DON " T CARE.

My opinion? Let her rot in that hospital, she deserves every ounce of pain she

gets. This

makes me feel terrible about all this anger, but I am still moving through this

process of

healing, and I am still very ANGRY, and again I am finding this difficult to

believe. We all

know the BPs favorite thing to be is the poor victim, the helpless person that

can't take

care of herself. Whatever, I just don't buy it for a minute and I refuse to

give her the

sympathy she is fishing for. Plus the FOG has cleared and I refuse to feel like

I owe her

anything!

Well the advice is in regards to her doctor. She has not been able to get to me

herself, nor

through my fada, nor through other family members. Now her Doctor is calling.

I refuse

to call her back. All the Dr says on the message is that my nada asked her to

call me. She

doesn't say if she is a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a social worker, another

mental patient,

nothing! She doesn't say what she wants to talk to me about or what insight she

hopes I

can offer, no description at all. Just that my nada wanted her to contact me.

When I heard these messages, I wanted to scream, I don't care what she wants!

Is that

unclear? I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to talk to some random

doctor ABOUT

her, I want her to leave me the hell alone!

I am really starting to appreciate this NC. My stress level has PLUMMETED over

the past

month because I am not always worried about her freaking out on me for having my

own

life. I didn't realize until I went NC how much of my life she had invaded and

started to try

to control. I couldn't do anything with my friends b/c she always wanted to

monopolize

my time. And this was BEFORE she moved ive miles away (she had been about 90

miles

away and drove down every weekend because she was " bored " ) Anyway, every day of

NC

is better and better.

I just need to hear it from someone who really gets it. I am not a bad person

if I don't call

this doctor back, am I? Should I call the Doctor and tell her to stop calling

me? Should I

tell her I don't care about nada's physical or mental ailments, that I want my

nada to just

leave me the hell alone? Should I tell her I think my nada is BP (since she is

as of yet

undiagnosed, but I KNOW she is BP-she seriously exhibits ALL the diagnostic

criteria)? Or

should I just ignore the messages like I have been for the past two days?

I so trust you guys' advice. Thanks for being there.

Love,

julie

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I feel for you as i read your post...i just came back from moving my

nada...and am considering NC more and more everyday...

i just want to encourage that you are not a " bad " person (whatever that is

anyway...i think it is a nada invention to keep us in line)...you have worked

really hard to get to the place of being strong enough to go NC and now she is

throwing a tantrum..big shocker...but please please do not have any contact...or

else she wins...

that is just my opinion...but if i ever get to the place where i can be

grounded enough to go nc....i hope i will not be fooled into going back...your

reasons for going nc were justified...stay strong..

warm thoughts and prayers...laurel ecmc

julieag75 wrote:

Hi everybody. I searched through some past posts and didn't see

anything that specifically

addressed this particular issue so I was hoping you guys could help me with some

advice. I

apologize if I missed a previous post that addressed the same issue.

As some of you may remember, almost exactly a month ago my nada had a breakdown

because of the stress of moving, she was required to take care of herself for

once, and

noone came to her rescue to the standards she was looking for, resulting in a

suicide

attempt, and I went NC. Since then she attempted to contact me by phone, and to

avoid

her nasty messages I changed my cell # and blocked her # on the house phone. She

was

hospitalized for three days post-suicide attempt, after which all these nasty

calls occurred,

asking for forgiveness blah blah blah. How interesting that she could be so

nasty and yet

still expect me to call her back. I guess she thought making me mad and

insulting me

would get me to call her since the sweet apologies didn't work. No bites on that

bait.

Anyway, a week later she was supposed to show up at an Aunt's house but never

did.

Since she didn't answer her phone for two days after being a no show, my Aunt

and my

nada's friend were worried and called the police (she moved a few miles from me

but an

hour from them...they called me first and I told them they were SOL if they

thought I was

going over there to check on her. HA that' exactly what she wanted! NO WAY)

Well my fada (she divorced him last year yet still tries ordering him around)

told me she

was in the mental hospital but it turns out the cops found her in bed supposedly

paralyzed

in one leg and took her to the hospital, where she has now been for two weeks. I

have

never heard of one sided leg paralysis, but she told them she was in bed for

three days

and couldn't move, after a fall. Interesting that the bed was not soiled, so she

had to have

gotten to the bathroom, but she couldn't answer her friend or my aunt's calls,

or answer

the door when the cops knocked? No way, she was waiting for someone to come to

her

rescue and she really thought I would do it since I am so close and everyone

else is far

away. whatever, maybe I am reading into it? LOL Doubtful. Regardless they put

her in

the medical ward supposedly with terrible nerve painin herr leg and she may

never walk

again blah blah blah. (Take all this info with a grain of salt too because it is

coming from

her friends, who get all their info from HER) I hate that I feel this way but

first of all I don't

believe her, and second of all I don't care. I really just DON " T CARE.

My opinion? Let her rot in that hospital, she deserves every ounce of pain she

gets. This

makes me feel terrible about all this anger, but I am still moving through this

process of

healing, and I am still very ANGRY, and again I am finding this difficult to

believe. We all

know the BPs favorite thing to be is the poor victim, the helpless person that

can't take

care of herself. Whatever, I just don't buy it for a minute and I refuse to give

her the

sympathy she is fishing for. Plus the FOG has cleared and I refuse to feel like

I owe her

anything!

Well the advice is in regards to her doctor. She has not been able to get to me

herself, nor

through my fada, nor through other family members. Now her Doctor is calling. I

refuse

to call her back. All the Dr says on the message is that my nada asked her to

call me. She

doesn't say if she is a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a social worker, another

mental patient,

nothing! She doesn't say what she wants to talk to me about or what insight she

hopes I

can offer, no description at all. Just that my nada wanted her to contact me.

When I heard these messages, I wanted to scream, I don't care what she wants! Is

that

unclear? I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to talk to some random doctor

ABOUT

her, I want her to leave me the hell alone!

I am really starting to appreciate this NC. My stress level has PLUMMETED over

the past

month because I am not always worried about her freaking out on me for having my

own

life. I didn't realize until I went NC how much of my life she had invaded and

started to try

to control. I couldn't do anything with my friends b/c she always wanted to

monopolize

my time. And this was BEFORE she moved ive miles away (she had been about 90

miles

away and drove down every weekend because she was " bored " ) Anyway, every day of

NC

is better and better.

I just need to hear it from someone who really gets it. I am not a bad person if

I don't call

this doctor back, am I? Should I call the Doctor and tell her to stop calling

me? Should I

tell her I don't care about nada's physical or mental ailments, that I want my

nada to just

leave me the hell alone? Should I tell her I think my nada is BP (since she is

as of yet

undiagnosed, but I KNOW she is BP-she seriously exhibits ALL the diagnostic

criteria)? Or

should I just ignore the messages like I have been for the past two days?

I so trust you guys' advice. Thanks for being there.

Love,

julie

---------------------------------

The best gets better. See why everyone is raving about the All-new Yahoo! Mail.

[Guest guest]

,

your feelings are totally in sync with your thoughts

and I support your decisions and have been there

myself. I could have written what you wrote a year

ago after my nada tried something similar. I wished

her every pain in teh book. And you are right: if she

did have one legged paralysis, she would have stained

the bed with bodily fluids. It is all the BPD

behavior. My intuition is to not call the doctor back

b/c he/she never identified their purpose or their

credentials. And I am even suspicious if she is a doc

b/c they usually don't have that much time to make

three phone calls, that is intrusive.

P.M.!!

Greg.

--- julieag75 wrote:

> Hi everybody. I searched through some past posts

> and didn't see anything that specifically

> addressed this particular issue so I was hoping you

> guys could help me with some advice. I

> apologize if I missed a previous post that addressed

> the same issue.

>

> As some of you may remember, almost exactly a month

> ago my nada had a breakdown

> because of the stress of moving, she was required to

> take care of herself for once, and

> noone came to her rescue to the standards she was

> looking for, resulting in a suicide

> attempt, and I went NC. Since then she attempted to

> contact me by phone, and to avoid

> her nasty messages I changed my cell # and blocked

> her # on the house phone. She was

> hospitalized for three days post-suicide attempt,

> after which all these nasty calls occurred,

> asking for forgiveness blah blah blah. How

> interesting that she could be so nasty and yet

> still expect me to call her back. I guess she

> thought making me mad and insulting me

> would get me to call her since the sweet apologies

> didn't work. No bites on that bait.

>

> Anyway, a week later she was supposed to show up at

> an Aunt's house but never did.

> Since she didn't answer her phone for two days after

> being a no show, my Aunt and my

> nada's friend were worried and called the police

> (she moved a few miles from me but an

> hour from them...they called me first and I told

> them they were SOL if they thought I was

> going over there to check on her. HA that' exactly

> what she wanted! NO WAY)

>

> Well my fada (she divorced him last year yet still

> tries ordering him around) told me she

> was in the mental hospital but it turns out the cops

> found her in bed supposedly paralyzed

> in one leg and took her to the hospital, where she

> has now been for two weeks. I have

> never heard of one sided leg paralysis, but she told

> them she was in bed for three days

> and couldn't move, after a fall. Interesting that

> the bed was not soiled, so she had to have

> gotten to the bathroom, but she couldn't answer her

> friend or my aunt's calls, or answer

> the door when the cops knocked? No way, she was

> waiting for someone to come to her

> rescue and she really thought I would do it since I

> am so close and everyone else is far

> away. whatever, maybe I am reading into it? LOL

> Doubtful. Regardless they put her in

> the medical ward supposedly with terrible nerve

> painin herr leg and she may never walk

> again blah blah blah. (Take all this info with a

> grain of salt too because it is coming from

> her friends, who get all their info from HER) I

> hate that I feel this way but first of all I don't

> believe her, and second of all I don't care. I

> really just DON " T CARE.

>

> My opinion? Let her rot in that hospital, she

> deserves every ounce of pain she gets. This

> makes me feel terrible about all this anger, but I

> am still moving through this process of

> healing, and I am still very ANGRY, and again I am

> finding this difficult to believe. We all

> know the BPs favorite thing to be is the poor

> victim, the helpless person that can't take

> care of herself. Whatever, I just don't buy it for

> a minute and I refuse to give her the

> sympathy she is fishing for. Plus the FOG has

> cleared and I refuse to feel like I owe her

> anything!

>

> Well the advice is in regards to her doctor. She

> has not been able to get to me herself, nor

> through my fada, nor through other family members.

> Now her Doctor is calling. I refuse

> to call her back. All the Dr says on the message is

> that my nada asked her to call me. She

> doesn't say if she is a psychologist, a

> psychiatrist, a social worker, another mental

> patient,

> nothing! She doesn't say what she wants to talk to

> me about or what insight she hopes I

> can offer, no description at all. Just that my nada

> wanted her to contact me.

>

> When I heard these messages, I wanted to scream, I

> don't care what she wants! Is that

> unclear? I don't want to talk to her, I don't want

> to talk to some random doctor ABOUT

> her, I want her to leave me the hell alone!

>

> I am really starting to appreciate this NC. My

> stress level has PLUMMETED over the past

> month because I am not always worried about her

> freaking out on me for having my own

> life. I didn't realize until I went NC how much of

> my life she had invaded and started to try

> to control. I couldn't do anything with my friends

> b/c she always wanted to monopolize

> my time. And this was BEFORE she moved ive miles

> away (she had been about 90 miles

> away and drove down every weekend because she was

> " bored " ) Anyway, every day of NC

> is better and better.

>

> I just need to hear it from someone who really gets

> it. I am not a bad person if I don't call

> this doctor back, am I? Should I call the Doctor

> and tell her to stop calling me? Should I

> tell her I don't care about nada's physical or

> mental ailments, that I want my nada to just

> leave me the hell alone? Should I tell her I think

> my nada is BP (since she is as of yet

> undiagnosed, but I KNOW she is BP-she seriously

> exhibits ALL the diagnostic criteria)? Or

> should I just ignore the messages like I have been

> for the past two days?

>

> I so trust you guys' advice. Thanks for being

> there.

>

> Love,

> julie

>

>

>

__________________________________________________