Hello Everyone

[Guest guest]

Just a note to thank you all so much for the kind words and for

letting me know that I am not alone.

I ended up at the hospital on Wednesday morning, unable to move. The

pain in my back and legs was excruciating. As soon as I mentioned RA

and fibro to the doctor, he just said... " it's JUST a flare-up " I'm

going to give you a combination steriod shot and a pain shot. Go rest

2 days at home and see your rheumatologist. So 2 more unpaid days at

home and I'm back at work.

Financially we are sinking and it's all my fault. I missed a week and

a half just 2 weeks ago because my 5 year old had surgery and needed

her Momma. I just don't know what to do anymore. My fiance doesn't

act upset at me, but he is constantly worrying about money and how we

are going to make it. The stress of me knowing that it's my fault I

am missing work (and of course it's unpaid because I've used all my

vacation and sick time already).

I've been reading up on disability. But everything I read just

discourages me more. According to what I've read being that I'm just

34 will count against me. And I must be NOT WORKING to apply, right?

And it will take 3-5 months MINIMUM before approval or denial. So how

can we financially survive??? And that's IF I get approval. A 34

year old with a failed back surgery, rheumatoid arthritis and

fibromyalgia. I'd probably be denied anyway.

I just don't think I can take much more guys. I love my children and

fiance more than words can say and know that my kids needs their

Momma. But right now, I just want to give up. I just don't have

anything left to give.

I just can't.