Re: Being Aspie is OK : Dealing with frustration

[Guest guest]

My self-diagnosis has been a relief to me, because I never could understand why

I was so odd. Finally, everything makes sense. However, I tell no one about

this. The stereotype of having autism (even a mild form such as AS) is one of

the completely withdrawn person who can not communicate at all or ever pass as

normal. As I have gotton older, I have learned more about myself as to what

work environments are okay. I have also learned about my weaknesses, and worked

hard to improve the ones that were causing me the most severe problems. I enjoy

being able to pass for normal (I have to avoid the people who are very

judgmental), and surround myself with people who do not see being different as a

sickness. I would not be able to cope with the discrimination if I was to

actually tell friends or work acquaintances about my self diagnosis.

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> Date: 2004/07/14 Wed AM 07:12:01 EDT

> To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse

> Subject: Being Aspie is OK : Dealing with frustration

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[Guest guest]

Yes, I see some hesitancy in people grasping that I am claiming

this dx. They deny it. I'm going to be careful who I tell. Just now

I'm using the dx as a way of apologizing for being difficult and a

way to announce that I am pulling back. I think some folks just

cannot come any further with me. I've got places to go, now that I

am not as mystified as I've been for decades. I've got a map!

I shall, however, be clear that I need time to process info, now

that I understand why I get so scrambled when I'm hustled. It is

often possible to ask someone to let me get back to them on a

list of questions, indicating that I am uncertain. I never used to

let myself ask for time to think. I did not know that I could ask.

This dx has given me permission to say that " I need time " and

that " I'll have to think that over " and other stalling devices. -Zer

(whose life just now does not include a job, which might make

all this pacing a bit tricky; I'm just talking casual contacts and biz

interactions that involve me coming up with facts, dates, etc.)

> My self-diagnosis has been a relief to me, because I

never could understand why I was so odd. Finally, everything

makes sense. However, I tell no one about this.... I enjoy being

able to pass for normal.... I would not be able to cope with the

discrimination if I was to actually tell friends or work

acquaintances about my self diagnosis.

[Guest guest]

I do best in jobs in which the people are too busy to train me. I can learn

really well if I have some type of written instructions, not verbal ones.>

>

> Date: 2004/07/15 Thu AM 12:35:17 EDT

> To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse

> Subject: Re: Being Aspie is OK : Dealing with frustration

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, too too true! Isn't it excruciating to have to listen to an inept

describe badly what we see for ourself as needing to be done?

I've been asked by a manager to express what an inept trainer

was telling a group of people to do. He saw me sitting with my

eyes averted as she bumbled through a bad piece of work. I had

decided to perform work at my rate level instead of wasting my

energy by showing off. Just was trying to avoid irking a low-level

manager who was not comfy with her own ignorance. But her

boss saw that I was not going to volunteer to correct her. I did it

for him, because he asked me to. But she hated it. She got me

back for showing her up. Can't say that I blame her. She was in

over her head, in a company that put inept people into jobs to

manage people with ... well, I was working in a low-level job, just

trying to pay the rent. My age and life skills gave me an edge in

reading and comprehending instructions. Happens that way, as

time goes on. I've lived longer, seen more. Not a big deal. My

fault, I guess, that I was doing a job that put me into the hands of

NTs who resented my insights and interpretation skills.

Low credibility seems to have blighted my life, as I look back on

instances where I said what I knew to be true and was judged to

be fabricating. Lists sometimes do that, too. Anyone been taken

to task for commenting on a list, for challenging a list leader <g>

and been gnawed to shreds for daring to have an opinion? -Zer

(who admits that I learn better hands-on than trying to read a

manual; I think I have more brains in my fingers than most folks;

for sure, I learn through my hands, through tactile cooperation

with a computer that feels like an alpha-level thing; it's cool, but it

drives other folks just nutz to see me working well without doing

the page-turning thing)

> I do best in jobs in which the people are too busy to train

me. I can learn really well if I have some type of written

instructions, not verbal ones.>