Guest guest Posted August 31, 2005 Report Share Posted August 31, 2005 I can hear and see so much pain and desperation in your letter. My heart absolutely aches for you. I battle depression so desperately too and wanted to suggest you talk to your doctor about Cymbalta. It has worked really well for me as most anti-depressants make me sleepy and this one actually gives me a little boost instead. The other side effect, which in my opinion is wonderful! is that they have found that this pill is good for diabetic retinopathy (sp)..in other words, as my doctor explained, it calms down the nerve endings and can help dull the pain of shooting/pinched nerves. For me, it's a good start. My prayers are with you...sincerely. Prisicilla snowespi <snowespi@...> wrote: Hi To All! Welcome to all the new members! I have not written as I am still battling depression. I have not done anything but tried to maintain. By that I mean my sanity and my health. It is very depressing to have to deal with all that each and everyone of us here has had to deal with while in pain. Dr. visits,forms. referrals,prodding and probing and questions galore when all....well....speakng formelf I just want to go to sleep and stay asleep. I am so fatigued and seen to never have energy t deal with th drs. anymore. IN Ak. all was so much better than here on the east coast. Here there are so many rules and regulations and so on. Is is so freaking hard to deal with all this here for me. As for the meds....they themselves are frightening. It seems one day they are good and the nexy=t they are being pulled off the market. I hate going to the dr. and yet I feel as if I am at the mercy of the dr's as I have r/a and fibro and add 2 or more, which framkly I think Dr's aren't that great when it comes to these diseases. I think some do the best they can but I have not met a good one here. My r/a Dr. in Ak. that died in a plane crash was wonderful. I'd move back if he was still alive. I do not like it here. I am moving I just don't know where to yet. I have seen what these meds. do to people especially predinisone and I think I read it here that it should be pulled off the market. Something to that effect. MY friend and sister took it and it really hurt them over the years. I refused to take it except during flare-ups as the pain was unbearable. I wanted to be put back on enbrel when I moved her but the mew r/a only allowed celebreax and vioxx. Great,huh? AFter 10 months I found a new r/a Dr. and am still not happy. I am on plaqiunel and it kills my system. So she gives me prilosec. Great again! I hate this life. I am so tired. I think of what we are reading in the news and seeiing on the news and oh yes it makes me grateful thatI am not there and I guess I should not feel sorry for myself but Dear Lord have mercy. How much is one supposed to take. (not a question) I am one of those taking it one minute at a time as I am in alot of pain and realize that Dr's do not have all the answers. I have to be in charge and in control of my mind and body. Of what I will put in my mouth. OF th epositive affirmations I will recite to myself. This to me is a very lonely disabling life. My heart goes out to each and everyone of you as I know you also have your good days and your bad days. God bless you all. I am taking the less possible medication possible and even with the anti-depressants. I think it was the paxill that caused me to be able to attempt the suicide in June. I am living with this depressing afraid to take any anti-depressants as I know they are powerful medicines. I am at a loss with all this since I no longer have my daughter to help me with anything. She was my sunshine, my angel. SHe still is, I just don't see her anymore. WIth all that I have been reading on antibiotic traetment- I am going to see if th Dr. will let me try it again. I have had r/a for over 10 years. Maybe 15. Been on almost every pain drug and refuse totake oxtcontin even though it does help the pain. I was over medicated. 80 mg. several times a day with 15mg roxicodone and so on. Way to much. Also the 75 durasegic patch which I don't want also.Maybe I should consider a lower dosage since that was 5 years ago. I am on vicoprophen hoping it is not hurting my liver and kidneys. I don't fear death but I fear slow suffering and pain and drugs. I know I will always have pain. I just want to take the edge off of it so I can funtion somewhat. With out help I am bedridden as my knees are both sooooo bad and it hurts to walk or stand even. Enough of my ity party. I hope the best for all of you as you continue on this difficult path. May God give you wisdom and strenth and more pain free days. God bless you all again and thank you all for all that you post. Love to you ALL!!!!! Marie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 31, 2005 Report Share Posted August 31, 2005 I can hear and see so much pain and desperation in your letter. My heart absolutely aches for you. I battle depression so desperately too and wanted to suggest you talk to your doctor about Cymbalta. It has worked really well for me as most anti-depressants make me sleepy and this one actually gives me a little boost instead. The other side effect, which in my opinion is wonderful! is that they have found that this pill is good for diabetic retinopathy (sp)..in other words, as my doctor explained, it calms down the nerve endings and can help dull the pain of shooting/pinched nerves. For me, it's a good start. My prayers are with you...sincerely. Prisicilla snowespi <snowespi@...> wrote: Hi To All! Welcome to all the new members! I have not written as I am still battling depression. I have not done anything but tried to maintain. By that I mean my sanity and my health. It is very depressing to have to deal with all that each and everyone of us here has had to deal with while in pain. Dr. visits,forms. referrals,prodding and probing and questions galore when all....well....speakng formelf I just want to go to sleep and stay asleep. I am so fatigued and seen to never have energy t deal with th drs. anymore. IN Ak. all was so much better than here on the east coast. Here there are so many rules and regulations and so on. Is is so freaking hard to deal with all this here for me. As for the meds....they themselves are frightening. It seems one day they are good and the nexy=t they are being pulled off the market. I hate going to the dr. and yet I feel as if I am at the mercy of the dr's as I have r/a and fibro and add 2 or more, which framkly I think Dr's aren't that great when it comes to these diseases. I think some do the best they can but I have not met a good one here. My r/a Dr. in Ak. that died in a plane crash was wonderful. I'd move back if he was still alive. I do not like it here. I am moving I just don't know where to yet. I have seen what these meds. do to people especially predinisone and I think I read it here that it should be pulled off the market. Something to that effect. MY friend and sister took it and it really hurt them over the years. I refused to take it except during flare-ups as the pain was unbearable. I wanted to be put back on enbrel when I moved her but the mew r/a only allowed celebreax and vioxx. Great,huh? AFter 10 months I found a new r/a Dr. and am still not happy. I am on plaqiunel and it kills my system. So she gives me prilosec. Great again! I hate this life. I am so tired. I think of what we are reading in the news and seeiing on the news and oh yes it makes me grateful thatI am not there and I guess I should not feel sorry for myself but Dear Lord have mercy. How much is one supposed to take. (not a question) I am one of those taking it one minute at a time as I am in alot of pain and realize that Dr's do not have all the answers. I have to be in charge and in control of my mind and body. Of what I will put in my mouth. OF th epositive affirmations I will recite to myself. This to me is a very lonely disabling life. My heart goes out to each and everyone of you as I know you also have your good days and your bad days. God bless you all. I am taking the less possible medication possible and even with the anti-depressants. I think it was the paxill that caused me to be able to attempt the suicide in June. I am living with this depressing afraid to take any anti-depressants as I know they are powerful medicines. I am at a loss with all this since I no longer have my daughter to help me with anything. She was my sunshine, my angel. SHe still is, I just don't see her anymore. WIth all that I have been reading on antibiotic traetment- I am going to see if th Dr. will let me try it again. I have had r/a for over 10 years. Maybe 15. Been on almost every pain drug and refuse totake oxtcontin even though it does help the pain. I was over medicated. 80 mg. several times a day with 15mg roxicodone and so on. Way to much. Also the 75 durasegic patch which I don't want also.Maybe I should consider a lower dosage since that was 5 years ago. I am on vicoprophen hoping it is not hurting my liver and kidneys. I don't fear death but I fear slow suffering and pain and drugs. I know I will always have pain. I just want to take the edge off of it so I can funtion somewhat. With out help I am bedridden as my knees are both sooooo bad and it hurts to walk or stand even. Enough of my ity party. I hope the best for all of you as you continue on this difficult path. May God give you wisdom and strenth and more pain free days. God bless you all again and thank you all for all that you post. Love to you ALL!!!!! Marie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 31, 2005 Report Share Posted August 31, 2005 Marie: This is a really tough disease to battle at times and it's made even worse if you're isolated. If there is an RA support group in your area, I would try and attend when you're feeling up to it. If you're unable to get out of your house, then make sure to continue to read and post here so you aren't feeling so lonely. Just like RA, finding the right med for depression can be tricky as well. I've tried many over the 10 years I've battled chronic depression.....and finally found something that works. The problem with meds for depression is that some of them take too long to start working and others don't do enough to help the depression. Some get frustrated waiting for them to kick in and stop taking them all together. As someone who suffers with depression, I think it should be looked at no differently than any other medical problem. If you have a broken arm, you get a cast. If you have diabetes, you take insulin. If you have depression, you need to take your anti-depressants. Please, have faith that the right med will be found. Know that you're not alone - many of us suffer with depression along with RA and other ailments. Speak with your Doc and let him/her know how you're feeling so you can work together to find a solution. Please e-mail me anytime you need to talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 31, 2005 Report Share Posted August 31, 2005 Marie: This is a really tough disease to battle at times and it's made even worse if you're isolated. If there is an RA support group in your area, I would try and attend when you're feeling up to it. If you're unable to get out of your house, then make sure to continue to read and post here so you aren't feeling so lonely. Just like RA, finding the right med for depression can be tricky as well. I've tried many over the 10 years I've battled chronic depression.....and finally found something that works. The problem with meds for depression is that some of them take too long to start working and others don't do enough to help the depression. Some get frustrated waiting for them to kick in and stop taking them all together. As someone who suffers with depression, I think it should be looked at no differently than any other medical problem. If you have a broken arm, you get a cast. If you have diabetes, you take insulin. If you have depression, you need to take your anti-depressants. Please, have faith that the right med will be found. Know that you're not alone - many of us suffer with depression along with RA and other ailments. Speak with your Doc and let him/her know how you're feeling so you can work together to find a solution. Please e-mail me anytime you need to talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2005 Report Share Posted September 2, 2005 Marie, I'm glad that you are a part of our group. You have obviously triumphed over so much adversity in your life, I admire you for that. I wish I had a magic pill for all of us that would cure these awful things that we live with. I know there are days when we all just make it from minute to minute, either from pain, loneliness, depression or frustration. I find that if- big IF- I am able to take my focus off what is going on with me and put it on something else, I am able to cope better. There are sure a lot of times when I can't. But if I make a conscious choice to put my mind on something else, I handle the pain a little better. I try to spend time praying for other people, or reading (which usually involves propping the book open with something cause my hands hurt too bad to hold it.) Sometimes I watch a funny movie (Young enstein rocks!) or something totally useless on TV. My favorite thing is a hot bath, providing I can actually get out of the darn tub after! I hope you are able to find the right doc with the right meds, and I'm so sorry you lost your trusted rheumie such a sad way. Prayers for better days going your way. Jane > Hi To All! Welcome to all the new members! I have not written as I > am still battling depression. I have not done anything but tried to > maintain. By that I mean my sanity and my health. It is very > depressing to have to deal with all that each and everyone of us > here has had to deal with while in pain. Dr. visits,forms. > referrals,prodding and probing and questions galore when > all....well....speakng formelf I just want to go to sleep and stay > asleep. I am so fatigued and seen to never have energy t deal with > th drs. anymore. IN Ak. all was so much better than here on the east > coast. Here there are so many rules and regulations and so on. Is is > so freaking hard to deal with all this here for me. As for the > meds....they themselves are frightening. It seems one day they are > good and the nexy=t they are being pulled off the market. I hate > going to the dr. and yet I feel as if I am at the mercy of the dr's > as I have r/a and fibro and add 2 or more, which framkly I think > Dr's aren't that great when it comes to these diseases. I think some > do the best they can but I have not met a good one here. My r/a Dr. > in Ak. that died in a plane crash was wonderful. I'd move back if he > was still alive. I do not like it here. I am moving I just don't > know where to yet. I have seen what these meds. do to people > especially predinisone and I think I read it here that it should be > pulled off the market. Something to that effect. MY friend and > sister took it and it really hurt them over the years. I refused to > take it except during flare-ups as the pain was unbearable. I wanted > to be put back on enbrel when I moved her but the mew r/a only > allowed celebreax and vioxx. Great,huh? AFter 10 months I found a > new r/a Dr. and am still not happy. I am on plaqiunel and it kills > my system. So she gives me prilosec. Great again! I hate this life. > I am so tired. I think of what we are reading in the news and > seeiing on the news and oh yes it makes me grateful thatI am not > there and I guess I should not feel sorry for myself but Dear Lord > have mercy. How much is one supposed to take. (not a question) I am > one of those taking it one minute at a time as I am in alot of pain > and realize that Dr's do not have all the answers. I have to be in > charge and in control of my mind and body. Of what I will put in my > mouth. OF th epositive affirmations I will recite to myself. This to > me is a very lonely disabling life. My heart goes out to each and > everyone of you as I know you also have your good days and your bad > days. God bless you all. I am taking the less possible medication > possible and even with the anti-depressants. I think it was the > paxill that caused me to be able to attempt the suicide in June. I > am living with this depressing afraid to take any anti-depressants > as I know they are powerful medicines. I am at a loss with all this > since I no longer have my daughter to help me with anything. She was > my sunshine, my angel. SHe still is, I just don't see her anymore. > WIth all that I have been reading on antibiotic traetment- I am > going to see if th Dr. will let me try it again. I have had r/a for > over 10 years. Maybe 15. Been on almost every pain drug and refuse > totake oxtcontin even though it does help the pain. I was over > medicated. 80 mg. several times a day with 15mg roxicodone and so > on. Way to much. Also the 75 durasegic patch which I don't want > also.Maybe I should consider a lower dosage since that was 5 years > ago. I am on vicoprophen hoping it is not hurting my liver and > kidneys. I don't fear death but I fear slow suffering and pain and > drugs. I know I will always have pain. I just want to take the edge > off of it so I can funtion somewhat. With out help I am bedridden as > my knees are both sooooo bad and it hurts to walk or stand > even. Enough of my ity party. I hope the best for all of you as you > continue on this difficult path. May God give you wisdom and strenth > and more pain free days. God bless you all again and thank you all > for all that you post. Love to you ALL!!!!! Marie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2005 Report Share Posted September 2, 2005 Marie, I'm glad that you are a part of our group. You have obviously triumphed over so much adversity in your life, I admire you for that. I wish I had a magic pill for all of us that would cure these awful things that we live with. I know there are days when we all just make it from minute to minute, either from pain, loneliness, depression or frustration. I find that if- big IF- I am able to take my focus off what is going on with me and put it on something else, I am able to cope better. There are sure a lot of times when I can't. But if I make a conscious choice to put my mind on something else, I handle the pain a little better. I try to spend time praying for other people, or reading (which usually involves propping the book open with something cause my hands hurt too bad to hold it.) Sometimes I watch a funny movie (Young enstein rocks!) or something totally useless on TV. My favorite thing is a hot bath, providing I can actually get out of the darn tub after! I hope you are able to find the right doc with the right meds, and I'm so sorry you lost your trusted rheumie such a sad way. Prayers for better days going your way. Jane > Hi To All! Welcome to all the new members! I have not written as I > am still battling depression. I have not done anything but tried to > maintain. By that I mean my sanity and my health. It is very > depressing to have to deal with all that each and everyone of us > here has had to deal with while in pain. Dr. visits,forms. > referrals,prodding and probing and questions galore when > all....well....speakng formelf I just want to go to sleep and stay > asleep. I am so fatigued and seen to never have energy t deal with > th drs. anymore. IN Ak. all was so much better than here on the east > coast. Here there are so many rules and regulations and so on. Is is > so freaking hard to deal with all this here for me. As for the > meds....they themselves are frightening. It seems one day they are > good and the nexy=t they are being pulled off the market. I hate > going to the dr. and yet I feel as if I am at the mercy of the dr's > as I have r/a and fibro and add 2 or more, which framkly I think > Dr's aren't that great when it comes to these diseases. I think some > do the best they can but I have not met a good one here. My r/a Dr. > in Ak. that died in a plane crash was wonderful. I'd move back if he > was still alive. I do not like it here. I am moving I just don't > know where to yet. I have seen what these meds. do to people > especially predinisone and I think I read it here that it should be > pulled off the market. Something to that effect. MY friend and > sister took it and it really hurt them over the years. I refused to > take it except during flare-ups as the pain was unbearable. I wanted > to be put back on enbrel when I moved her but the mew r/a only > allowed celebreax and vioxx. Great,huh? AFter 10 months I found a > new r/a Dr. and am still not happy. I am on plaqiunel and it kills > my system. So she gives me prilosec. Great again! I hate this life. > I am so tired. I think of what we are reading in the news and > seeiing on the news and oh yes it makes me grateful thatI am not > there and I guess I should not feel sorry for myself but Dear Lord > have mercy. How much is one supposed to take. (not a question) I am > one of those taking it one minute at a time as I am in alot of pain > and realize that Dr's do not have all the answers. I have to be in > charge and in control of my mind and body. Of what I will put in my > mouth. OF th epositive affirmations I will recite to myself. This to > me is a very lonely disabling life. My heart goes out to each and > everyone of you as I know you also have your good days and your bad > days. God bless you all. I am taking the less possible medication > possible and even with the anti-depressants. I think it was the > paxill that caused me to be able to attempt the suicide in June. I > am living with this depressing afraid to take any anti-depressants > as I know they are powerful medicines. I am at a loss with all this > since I no longer have my daughter to help me with anything. She was > my sunshine, my angel. SHe still is, I just don't see her anymore. > WIth all that I have been reading on antibiotic traetment- I am > going to see if th Dr. will let me try it again. I have had r/a for > over 10 years. Maybe 15. Been on almost every pain drug and refuse > totake oxtcontin even though it does help the pain. I was over > medicated. 80 mg. several times a day with 15mg roxicodone and so > on. Way to much. Also the 75 durasegic patch which I don't want > also.Maybe I should consider a lower dosage since that was 5 years > ago. I am on vicoprophen hoping it is not hurting my liver and > kidneys. I don't fear death but I fear slow suffering and pain and > drugs. I know I will always have pain. I just want to take the edge > off of it so I can funtion somewhat. With out help I am bedridden as > my knees are both sooooo bad and it hurts to walk or stand > even. Enough of my ity party. I hope the best for all of you as you > continue on this difficult path. May God give you wisdom and strenth > and more pain free days. God bless you all again and thank you all > for all that you post. Love to you ALL!!!!! Marie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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