support

[Guest guest]

I appreciate all the ones that have shared what they are going thru and it

helps me knowing I'm not the only one. I sat last night doing a will for my 2

children that are 23 and 30-- both 2 busy to spend time with gritchy ole

Mom. I sort of feel like my life is almost over at almost 48 and sitting here

worrying about being a burden. I'd rather die than have one week where my

kids have to take care of me. I'm single and up to now have been able to " pay "

for help. Between that and my 10% co-pays the savings is almost up.

I do agree that with the pain being the same but honestly I'm not the type

person that is able to put on such a show. Maybe I'm missing that gene but

have always admired the type of person that continues on thru trials without

complaining. I " m missing the spirituality that I hear from some and perhaps

that's the difference. I'm not " as " disabled as some-- and so am blessed but

wonder what is going to come next. I know getting old isn't fun but then I

look at my 69 year old Dad riding his motorcycle . After I got " sick " I did

start a career although I miss being a nurse more than I ever thought. With

this I don't have to punch a time clock so I'm blessed but worry what is

going to happen if I can't continue.

Its so frustrating to look at the condition of the house and then wonder if

its worth the energy.

I hate not being able to take care of my grandson-- or perhaps its my

daughter that won't allow him to stay with me. I hate not being a " normal'

person

that can do shopping like others-- Christmas was the last time I went thru

SuperWalmart. I'm dreading the next knee injections and the thought of the

pain it causes-- but will hope the new joint fluid will help.

Worse is knowing that each Dr's visit so far has not been much help. I'd be

so lost without this computer and the telephone line, and the friends here.