Re: Re: Went to PT.. Why do I waste my time? !

[Guest guest]

,

I love the way tyou put that. Its something to ask yourself alot of us don't

think bout it that way but you are right on.

Terry

Debi Calcutt wrote:

Hi ,

Very well said. I totally agree with you and love the way you put it. You

are a great asset to the group.

Gentle hugs, Debi

-- Re: Went to PT.. Why do I waste my time?

I hope you don't mind my jumping in here, ...twice now...this makes

me really grateful to have an understanding wife. I sould probably

kep my mouth shut, but I'm going to type anyway. It sounds to me

like you have two problems, one you have more control over than the

other. Your pain, as much of a pain as it is, is yours, and while

you may not be finding the relief you need right now, you are pretty

much in control and in charge of treating your pain. As far as your

spouse, you can't control that. So as I see it you have two problems

to deal with, not just one. Now to some, that might seem like twice

the trouble, but I think that is a matter of perspective. Knowing

you have two seperate problems, you might consider trying to work on

these two things seperate. What I mean is if you can seperate some

of this, it might not seem to snowball quite so much. For me, I have

to seperate what I can control or affect a change, and what I can

not. If you know he uses your pain against you, then take it back.

He uses those things...those words that he knows will push the right

buttons. You have control over how you react to a given situation,

be it physical pain, or emotional pain. If you know he's full of

crap, don't buy into it.

Relationships are tough anyway. I came to a discovery recently.

We know another couple, much younger than us, they just had their

first child. When the guy was given the choice between a lie about

why he had been gone a long time from home, or telling the truth, he

chose a lie. When I suggested he try telling the truth, because

that's what worked for me, it never dawned on me that it would cause

him more trouble telling the truth. The lesson I learned, and should

already have known is that it only works when you BOTH WANT to get

along. After 12 years, my wife and I both try to get along, I guess

we just don't like to fight. Now if one of us didn't want to get

along, it wouldn't matter how hard the other one tried, there would

be no peace.

Is he perfect? What kind of shape is he in? I'm not saying go pick

a fight, just consider the source. Would he be nice to you if you

quit smoking, or suddenly got thin? If so, why? If he'd still be a

snot, why would you stay? These are questions I'd be asking myself

if I were you. I'd also be asking myself why I would allow someone

to treat me badly when I was already down. I really hope you feel

better. You gotta take care of YOU before you can take care of

anyone else. TTFN

>

> Thanks Jena,

> At least I can come here and have people that really understand..

Right now

> I wish my husband would drop dead..Or worse, get what I have and

then he can

> see how it feels to be in so much pain every day.. Awful thing to

wish but

> if you knew my husband you would too!

>

> I told him what the PT said, and also about MAY have triggered the

fibro.

> which was a car accident I got into a few years back.. Nothing

serious but I

> remember every part of my body hurting for several days.. ALL my

muscles etc

> .

>

> So he gets all nasty and says I am like this because I am fat, and

the PT

> just wants my money that's why she says not to do anything more

than what

> she tells me.. Then he goes on to say he better get me a wheel

chair and a

> handicap sticker for the car since I am so crippled from an

a " serious

> horrible crash " (sarcastically mind U because it wasn't serious.

>

> He sees me fall onto the bed from pain and crying while I was

changing the

> sheets and he just walked past me not even offering to help.. He

says I am

> lazy and sit in front of the computer smoking all day.. This is

just a flat

> out lie and he knows it. But he says this crap to hurt me..What I

do not

> understand is WHY does he want to hurt me so much?! He might as

well beat me

> cus it feels worse when he says these things.

>

> After 23 years together you would think he would grow up! He acts

like I

> enjoy being in pain.. Heck I don't know what he thinks, this

garbage spews

> like vomit from his mouth way to often! I have left him 2x and even

divorced

> him once over his verbal abuse...But I came back like a lost puppy..

>

> Yeah I have a heating pad and I use it A LOT..lol..I need 2 right

now, one

> for my shoulders and one for my back. I also have a hot tub, and it

does

> help the muscles, but not the disc issues. Matter a fact I was just

out

> there and of course it started to rain again..I really hate the

rain..

>

> Well I think I will go and watch some TV for a bit and wait for Don

to fall

> asleep and then go to bed myself.. I am SO exhausted, I don't

recall ever

> being this exhausted before.

> Thanks again!!

> Hugs

> Karla

>

> -------Original Message-------

> Karla, sorry you had such a hard time. these PT's have to push

their stuff

> so they will have a job. I have been to them 3 different rounds. my

ins.

> does not pay good for PT at all. and not one of the times did they

help me.

> I hope you can find you a good dr. do you have a heating pad? that

is my

> lifesaver. I agree the anti-inflammatory are for the birds all they

do is

> mess with your stomach. Hoping you can settle down and relax some.

> you will be in my prayers. I sure know what pain is all about.

> hugs, Jena

>

>

>