Guest guest Posted August 8, 2005 Report Share Posted August 8, 2005 Hi Barb. We are very much alike in our desire to keep our independence, and we do things we really shouldn't do in order to try keeping our independence. Asking for help is the last thing I do, only after I can't find a way to do it myself. I don't know if it is a fault of mine or if it's a good thing. The times I've hurt myself have made me stop and think how foolish I am. But I've been independent since I was a young girl and there really isn't any changing my personality. Accepting our limitations to protect our health, yet not becoming dependent is a balancing act. We have to learn to do what we can do and graciously enjoy what others are willing to do. If we hurt ourselves more, it only means that we could loose yet another piece of our independence. You have a very wise daughter. a On Aug 8, 2005, at 7:41 AM, Barb wrote: > I don't write much but this time my daughter knew that I needed to talk > to someone that probably goes through the same feelings as I am. > > Am I the only one that gets so frustrated about not being able to do > things around the house. I've had over a dozen surgeries because of my > RA. I am severely limited to what I can do because even though I had > knuckle replacements on both hands, limited fusion on both hands then > a > total fusion on one hand. That doesn't even count the knee and ankle > surgeries I've had. My family doesn't think I know my own limitations > just because a few times I over did things. My problem, so I have > been > told is that I don't ask for help enough. I find it hard to ask for > help because I feel I am losing my independance, but my family doesn't > understand that. My daughter who was diagnosed with Lupus in January > told me that this group would tell me frankly and to the point what to > do and where to go for help. I am 51 and have had Severe RA for 33 > years. My daughter Kris (kukukris82@...) got some needed answers > from the group so I am hoping for the same.  Barb in Illinois > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2005 Report Share Posted August 8, 2005 Hi Barb, This is a great place to come for support,friendship, and information. We all go through the same thing, and its so nice to talk to others that understand. Were always here, Tawny > I don't write much but this time my daughter knew that I needed to talk > to someone that probably goes through the same feelings as I am. > > Am I the only one that gets so frustrated about not being able to do > things around the house. I've had over a dozen surgeries because of my > RA. I am severely limited to what I can do because even though I had > knuckle replacements on both hands, limited fusion on both hands then a > total fusion on one hand. That doesn't even count the knee and ankle > surgeries I've had. My family doesn't think I know my own limitations > just because a few times I over did things. My problem, so I have been > told is that I don't ask for help enough. I find it hard to ask for > help because I feel I am losing my independance, but my family doesn't > understand that. My daughter who was diagnosed with Lupus in January > told me that this group would tell me frankly and to the point what to > do and where to go for help. I am 51 and have had Severe RA for 33 > years. My daughter Kris (kukukris82@y...) got some needed answers > from the group so I am hoping for the same. Barb in Illinois Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2005 Report Share Posted August 8, 2005 Barb, I have had the same problem. I don't give myself to the limitations. I just want to keep doing and keep going just like I did before the RA. Sometimes I just break down and cry and just avoid people all together. Your daughter was right, coming here will help you. This is a great group to get support from. 33 years is a long time to have gone through this. Don't feel that you are weak because you need help at times. It's just being realistic. Do what you can and do no more. You don't want to put yourself into a flare. Anytime you need to talk or vent, please feel free to write on this site or email me privately if you prefer. We are all here for each other. We are like each others life lines. We can be that for you as well.......Marina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.