OT/RE: DOC APPT.

[Guest guest]

Hello again! I went to the doc on Thursday and couldn't remember if

it was the follow-up on my neck or the arthritis visit. It was the

neck but, no matter - it pretty much was the standard bull___! Oddly

enough, the 1st. thing he did is come into the room and b4 saying

anything he walked over and looked into my ears. I was dizzy last

month! I was dizzy the month b4 that! Hello! I can now add

something to my arsenal of meds. Meclazine on top of the tylenol!

Anyhow, I did ask about the shrinkage and he as usual dismissed it.

He stated that b4 someone just must of wrote it down wrong and when I

went to the Rheumy-their measuring must be off. So - that explains

it!!!! 3+ inches by someone elses accord is all my head as well.

Shirley kinda cornered him with " is it all in her head " and the

answer was an astounding, YEP!!! Only he did say it in a kinder

manner, It must be neurological. Went off into head injury babble

and then said, " and there is no magic pill for that either " . I was

floored and replied that I wasn't aware of any magic pill for

anything. He did actually talk for a minute - now, if he actually

listened is another story. I do however go for a CT scan on Monday

of my head and neck. The bone spurs did show up on my plain x-rays

and he said that it isn't anyhing. The report said more but he

wouldn't elaborate. He is doing the CT scan with contrast. I

believe he is looking for head trauma and damage? Don't know. I'm

kinda concerned though - I have bulged disc's, that is nothing, DDD -

nothing, Bone spurs(posterior osteophytes) nothing, It all really

boils down to nothing. Nothing is wrong. I did tell him that I am

considering committing myself and electing to have ECT so I won't

know who I am or that I'm in any kind of pain. He said nothing. So

maybe the it is the next step. Anyhow, I probably will let all of

you know Monday or Tuesday what the CT scan showed - my guess is

nothing. On the tests up to now that show everything is nothing. The

bloodwork that is positive and my climbing ESR is nothing. So, I

guess I'm crazy for nothing? I don't know? I am about to just give

up as I am perfectly okay other than my head. He also stated that it

isn't osteo because the MRI I had 3 1/2 years ago b4 the rapid

shrinkage occured showed nothing other than the spurs and bulged

disc's that amounts to nothing! I have hit the end of the line and I

am now so afraid that Monday is gonna roll around and by the end of

the day I may be in the mental ward. Oh, the muscle deteriation is

all in my head. Maybe he is onto something? B4 I thought he must be

on the crack! LOL Now, I guess he is onto me and my head. So

anyhow, I will probably just post supportive messages for now and

come Monday I guess will we know if I should even be in the group.

I do want to thank each and everyone for all the kind words and

kinship and I HOPE THAT TODAY IS A GOOD DAY FOR YOU!!!! xxx'S kIM