RE: BOB/5 days + counting/TGIF

[Guest guest]

Retiring

to the American South? You'll need a dictionary.

Southern slang or

" Hickbonics. " Anyone

proficient in the language woud be a Hickophone. The following are

excerpts from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDE - noun. Greeting

HIRE YEW - Complete

sentence. Remainder of the greeting above. Usage: " Heidi, hire yew? "

BARD - verb. Past

tense of the infinitive " to borrow. " Usage: " My brother bard my

pickup truck. "

JAWJUH - Noun. The

state north of Florida. The capitol is Lanner. Usage: " My brother from

Jawjuh bard my pickup truck. "

BAMMER - Noun. The

state west of Jawjuh. Capital is Berminhayum. Usage: " A tornader jes went

thru Bammer an leff $20M in improvements. "

MUNTS - Noun. A

calendar division Usage: " My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and

I ain't herd from him in munts. "

THANK - verb. Ability

to cognitively process. Usage: " Ah thank ah'll have a bare (see

below) "

BARE - Noun. An

alcoholic beverage make from barley, hops and yeast.

IGNERT - adjective.

Not smart. (see " Arkansas native " ) Usage: " Dem Bammer boys sure

are ignert! "

RANCH - noun. A tool

used for tight'nin bolts. Usage: " I thank I leff my ranch in the back of

that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago. "

ALL - noun. A

petroleum based lubricant. Usage: " I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts

all in my pickup truck. "

FAR - noun. A

conflagration. Usage: " If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in

my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch on far! "

TAR - noun. A rubber

wheel. Usage: " Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a

flat tar in my pickup truck. "

TIRE - noun. A tall

monument. Usage: " Lord willin' and the creek don't rize, I sure do hope to

see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime " .

RETARD - verb. To stop

working. Usage: " My gampaw retard at age 65. "

FAT - voun, verb. 1. A

battle of combat. 2. To engage in battle or combat. Usage: " You younguns

keep fat'n ah'm gonna whup y'un. "

RATS - noun. Entitled

power or privilege. Usgae: " We Southerners are willin' to fat for are

rats. "

FARN - adjective. Not

local. Usage: " I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed....Must be from some

farn country. "

DID - adjective. Not

alive. Usage: " He's did, Jim. "

EAR - noun. A

colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen Usage. " He cain't breathe... give im sum

ear. "

BOB WAR - noun. A

sharp, twisted cable. Usage: " Boy, stay way from the bob war fence! "

JEW HERE - Noun an

verb contraction. Usage: " Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job

with that bob war fence comp'ny? "

HAZE - contraction

Usage: " Is Bubba smart? " " Nah, haze ignert. He ain't thanked but

a minnit'n 'is laf. "

SEED - Verb. Past

tense of " to see " .

VIEW - contraction:

verb and pronounUsage: " I ain't never seed New York City.....view? "

GUMMIT - noun. A

bureaucratic institution. Usage: " Dem gummit boys shore are ignert. "

Barb in Texas

Son Ken (27)

Dx UC 91- Dx PSC 99