hi everyone

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I just signed up for the group and have been reading the postings now for a

few days. It's been such a relief to hear that there are so many people out

there who have had such similar experiences to mine. My fiance is wonderful, and

has helped me to heal so much from my BP mom, but I think that even with an

understanding partner, it's not the same as talking to people who have

experienced these things firsthand. So...thank you already. When I realized that

there was a support group for KO's, I actually started crying. I had no idea

that there were so many of us out there.

Up until a few months ago, things had been going relatively smoothly. I had

really been working on setting boundaries with my nada and limiting contact, and

it was actually working. Then I got engaged. I'm so excited about getting

married, but it's caused a ton of stress with my nada who is now calling every

day to talk about the wedding and wanting much more contact than usual. When I

try to set boundaries with her about the wedding, she (1) calls back over and

over again, (2) talks to other extended family members who then call and throw a

big guilt trip about how she just wants to be involved and how if I could build

enough inner strength, her insults wouldn't effect me, and (3) tells me I'm

ungrateful, unfriendly, weird, bad daughter, etc. I'm not sure I'm ready to make

the decision to go NC, especially before the wedding. I think the fallout with

her and other family members would be way too much at this point. So...any

suggestions on how to keep my sanity? The other

thing is that it's just making me sad to not have all of the typical

mother-daughter wedding stuff, like shopping for the dress and all of that. It's

hard to let go of all of that, and she is really pushing for it, even though I

don't want her to be involved so much.

Thanks, and hope you all are having a good weekend.

Bec

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