Guest guest Posted July 4, 2005 Report Share Posted July 4, 2005 Guys, men are just not wired like we are. They are take tenderness, nurturing and emotion are a sign of weakness...though shalt not be weak. Again when the wife is the foundation in a marriage and she gets sick...they get scared and retreat to the what I call the " little boy corner " of denial. It takes some time and for some that time never comes. For a man with a sick wife..he thinks we need money so I will work harder and things will get better. Now we women know that we would rather had them by out sides...but that is not how they think. Men do not like the ugly details. Men are fixers by nature. You say you have a problem then it should quickly be fixed. RA is not like that...its an on going problem with constant adjustments. The first thing a man thinks is I may loose my mate..how will I care for my kids? What happens to my sex life? if you are working, what will happen to us financially if she can't work anymore? This is the short list...but it goes on and on. Everyone's fear are slightly different. Be patient..keep communicating..keep providing info on your medical condition. I use to leave reading material out for my hubby to read. I found him reading very late one nite when he thought I was asleep. Then I learned he was talking to a female co-worker with RA and Fibro trying to get more info. They will ask and learn...but only in there own time and with out nagging or pushing. Most also prefer to get info from a non involved party..so they may never talk to you about it. but you will find they suddenly know what you need and how to go about meeting that need. Again be patient, keep communicating, and seek professional counsel to help you cope. Toni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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