Re: Re: supportive husbands

July 5, 2005

Hi Tracie!

I know from talking with you that you also have a wonderful husband. We

are both so lucky!

I really don't know how I would cope without the support at home. I am

sure we could do it because

we do what we have to, but I really appreciate my husbands support,

love, and understanding...

How are the kids? I bet they are happy to be on summer holidays....*S*

Gentle hugs especially to you tracie.

Corinne

tracierae143 wrote:

> Toni,

>

> Just had to write in and let you know that not all husbands or men

> are alike. There are still a few gems out there. My hubby has been

> soooo supportive of me. He has grocery shopped, done all the

> carpooling for our three younger children, cooked dinner, worked and

> even taken off work to take care of me and the younger children on

> my bad days. He is my best friend and has been great about the

> decline in our sex life. It is still there, just much different.

> He has been patient and researched the issue like you would not

> believe. He goes with me to the doctor now and speaks up for me and

> I am so grateful because sometimes I am too sick to care and to

> fight for myself. He is a sensitive man even cutting my toenails

> since one got infected as I was too embarrassed to tell him I needed

> help. He does them all the time for me. He installed a handheld

> showerhead so I could wash my own hair because I wanted to do it

> myself being stubborn which I can be. He has given up so much and I

> feel so bad about it sometimes, but as he says in sickness and in

> health and he knows I would do the same for him. We are still young

> but things could be much worse. Don't give up. As Dr. Phil would

> say, they may be wired the same as you said, but some of them are

> trainable:o) Really he is the best. I know Corinne's hubby is good

> to her also. I have chatted with her a few times. Just thought you

> should know.

>

> Hugs,

>

> Tracie in Maine

>

> > > >

> > > > > Guys,

> > > > > men are just not wired like we are. They are take

> > > > tenderness,

> > > > > nurturing and

> > > > > emotion are a sign of weakness...though shalt not

> > > > be weak.

> > > > >

> > > > > Again when the wife is the foundation in a

> > > > marriage and she gets

> > > > > sick...they

> > > > > get scared and retreat to the what I call the

> > > > " little boy corner " of

> > > > > denial.

> > > > > It takes some time and for some that time never

> > > > comes.

> > > > >

> > > > > For a man with a sick wife..he thinks we need

> > > > money so I will work

> > > > > harder

> > > > > and things will get better. Now we women know

> > > > that we would rather

> > > > > had them by

> > > > > out sides...but that is not how they think.

> > > > >

> > > > > Men do not like the ugly details. Men are fixers

> > > > by nature. You say

> > > > > you

> > > > > have a problem then it should quickly be fixed.

> > > > RA is not like

> > > > > that...its an

> > > > > on going problem with constant adjustments.

> > > > >

> > > > > The first thing a man thinks is I may loose my

> > > > mate..how will I care

> > > > > for my

> > > > > kids? What happens to my sex life? if you are

> > > > working, what will

> > > > > happen to

> > > > > us financially if she can't work anymore? This is

> > > > the short

> > > > > list...but it

> > > > > goes on and on. Everyone's fear are slightly

> > > > different.

> > > > >

> > > > > Be patient..keep communicating..keep providing

> > > > info on your medical

> > > > > condition. I use to leave reading material out

> > > > for my hubby to

> > > > > read. I found him

> > > > > reading very late one nite when he thought I was

> > > > asleep. Then I

> > > > > learned he was

> > > > > talking to a female co-worker with RA and Fibro

> > > > trying to get more

> > > > > info.

> > > > > They will ask and learn...but only in there own

> > > > time and with out

> > > > > nagging or

> > > > > pushing. Most also prefer to get info from a non

> > > > involved party..so

> > > > > they may

> > > > > never talk to you about it. but you will find

> > > > they suddenly know

> > > > > what you

> > > > > need and how to go about meeting that need.

> > > > >

> > > > > Again be patient, keep communicating, and seek

> > > > professional counsel to

> > > > > help

> > > > > you cope.

> > > > >

> > > > > Toni

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > > removed]

> > > > >

July 5, 2005