I just want to cry

[Guest guest]

I went to the RA doc on the 12th. Since I came home, my right

shoulder and my right hip are worse than ever. When I fold the

laundry, it's all I can do to finish it. I went grocery shopping

tonight, and my hip is killing me. My hands, my wrists, my elbows,

it's coming on so fast. I've had it for a long time but just these

last few months it's been getting really and the last few wks have

been worse than it's ever been.

Most of this is " what if " worrying. I'm so afraid she's not going to

give me something other than steroids and this anti-inflammatory

(which does nothing for me). I don't know what to do. I'm going

back on the 29th and it feels like it's taking forever to get here.

I hurt every single day now, all day long, all night. I don't

sleep. I quit talking to my DH about it bc he couldn't care less. I

told him that I think I may need to switch my major in school and he

just told me to just go for nursing and see how it goes. I don't

want to waste time and money on an edu that I won't be able to use.

Even if I waste a year, that's still going to set me back a year in a

psych major, kwim? He doesn't get it.

I had a sitter for the 29th but then the boys' gma cut short the

visit (I knew she was going to do this) and now I have to find a

sitter. My family is not interested in helping. My one sister is 45

mins away and it will be complete back tracking to take the kids to

her. Plus her house has cat pee all over it. I don't want my kids

there, kwim?

I'm so scared and it hurts so bad. I don't want to live like this.

What should I do??

Jen