Guest guest Posted July 1, 2005 Report Share Posted July 1, 2005 I ordered some stuff from the internet. I think I have my mind about what I'm going to do, IF the side effects won't kill me in a day. If there's risk of a heart attack, I will not take it. I'd rather die a slow painful death where I get to set my affairs in order, than a quick relatively painless one where I leave my kids wondering what the hell just happened to their mother, their life and themselves. My kids are by 2 marriages, and they would be split up if I die before they reach age of majority. Today has been a very bad day, pain-wise. Swelling in my ankles is getting every day. My husband seems unphased by this. I don't think he believes me (the degree of seriousness) and he's not interested in reading up on anything. His father died from a stroke (a side effect from the drugs) during treatment of cancer - a cancer which they told him he would make a full and complete recovery from. They caught it early, and they weren't really even worried about it. He left behind 6 kids, the oldest being mid-20's, the youngest a senior in high school. He also takes a very non-chalant attitude about my being upset at facing injections for the rest of my life. " Well, do what you gotta do, " as he practically shrugs his shoulders and walks away from me. This hurts most of all, but I should know by now to expect nothing more from him. This is not and will not be a pleasant time in my home. I feel let down by him and pixxed off at myself. C'est la vie. Sara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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