Re: Husbands and Ebony {{{EBONY}} OT change of subject!

July 8, 2005

> Hey Jan,

>

> I don't know if your comment is directed at me or some of the

> others's comments, but I have learned that the entire story is

never

> going to be told and not so sure if it should.

>

> Most people really want things to work and go through a whole range

> of trials and emotions before they just wake up one day and decide

on

> divorce. Many religions are against divorce and I think that is

> where a lot of the uproar is coming from. My motto is if it makes

> you happy and doesn't hurt anyone else then okay be happy.

>

> Because I knew I would have to defend my post, I posted a message

to

> receive only supportive messages because that is what I needed at

te

> time and mainly just some positive experiences from those who have

> been through divorce or going through divorce. Because I have been

> there, I totally believe these women who say they are not being

> supported through this horrific time of their lives. And believe it

> or not some men because there are mostly women/wives here, some men

> actually lose respect for you and see you as damaged goods when you

> can no longer help provide for the family because of illness, and

you

> have to remember some of these men didn't have good examples even

> though that was all the examples they knew, they saw it as the

norm.

> That's picking good mates for your persoanlity type comes in.

> Personally I have to find a way to make a living, there is no way I

> can do that in the situatiion I am in and yet there is no way I can

> just walk out the door with severe uncontrolled RA immediately

> today. There are steps to be made because I want to leave with as

> little fanfare as possible, and hime with much as he had when I

came

> to the marriage if not more. I am attempting to do the right

thing.

> There is sooo much more to it than just what I am posting here and

by

Ebony, you have a green thumb, don't you? I was thinking about trying

to grow some indoor herbs, have you ever tried that, or are flowers

more your forte? I don't have plant skills AT ALL! They put a plastic

plant by my desk and the leaves fell off....but fresh herbs at the

grocery store are way expensive and not all that fresh IMHO. E me if

you have any suggestions.

Hugs from

Jane

> the reaction to those poor women who posted about not receiving

> support, I think I made the right choice not to reveal too much.

>

> I understand most of you mean well and your posts especially

usually

> bring tears to my very, very dry eyes:) but I don't think you guys

> are anywhere near the ball park with this one and again I know you

> mean well. I think sometimes we can only pull from what we have

> experienced. Kinda like trying to explain to someone perfectly

> healthy what RA feels like or FMS feels like. It cannot be done.

So

> I think this tired horse has been beat to death. We need to let it

> go. I don't think anyone is ever going to reveal anything else

again.

>

> I do thank you all for trying to be helpful.

>

> love/peace, many blessings to you all.

> Ebony

July 8, 2005