Re: Moving on...

[Guest guest]

Please may I have some support and words of wisdom as I am currently trying to

move out of my mothers rented house. I want to do things for myself and do them

on my own with some support which I am getting.

Thing is that I am being stopped in my tracks from my very broken and not at all

close family. I ask for help, they refuse and even when they try they don't

help, they control. As soon as I move out I can finally breath and start living

my own life.

I am going to do this without their help, I am struggling but I know I will do

it. My friends have been very supportive especially my boyfriend . He's the

one who has helped me to believe in myself and believe that I can do things for

myself no matter what.

I think I would benefit from an emancipation but I'm hesitant as it might brake

my family more and they probably wouldn't forgive me, thing is when I move, I

don't want anything to do with them because they don't understand my disability

and they still talk to me like I'm a child. They will never understand me and

I've given up trying to help them. I've had enough.

I'm still looking into different options for me and seeing what else there is

available for me. I'm very upset and just want me life back.

-May Minett

[Guest guest]

Caire-May,

I know it is hard to break ties with your parents but it needs to be done or

how will you ever be an independant, contributing member of society? It

will be hard and you might make some mistakes but they are your mistakes and

you will have to take responsibility for them. You can not go running to

them if you make a mistake - you must do this on your own. Come to us if

you need help... We won't judge you.

I am sure, as a parent, that they love you and want what is best for you.

Once they see that you can be independant on your own, they will embrace

you. It may take a while as their feelings will be hurt.

Just remember - even though you are an adult, you will always be their baby

and it is hard to see you grow up - it reminds them that they are getting

older.

Darlene - Mom to (13) and (11)

On Wed, Feb 24, 2010 at 1:49 PM, clairemayminett

wrote:

>

>

> Please may I have some support and words of wisdom as I am currently trying

> to move out of my mothers rented house. I want to do things for myself and

> do them on my own with some support which I am getting.

>

> Thing is that I am being stopped in my tracks from my very broken and not

> at all close family. I ask for help, they refuse and even when they try they

> don't help, they control. As soon as I move out I can finally breath and

> start living my own life.

>

> I am going to do this without their help, I am struggling but I know I will

> do it. My friends have been very supportive especially my boyfriend .

> He's the one who has helped me to believe in myself and believe that I can

> do things for myself no matter what.

>

> I think I would benefit from an emancipation but I'm hesitant as it might

> brake my family more and they probably wouldn't forgive me, thing is when I

> move, I don't want anything to do with them because they don't understand my

> disability and they still talk to me like I'm a child. They will never

> understand me and I've given up trying to help them. I've had enough.

>

> I'm still looking into different options for me and seeing what else there

> is available for me. I'm very upset and just want me life back.

>

> -May Minett

>

>

>

--

“Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

[Guest guest]

-May, You sound as if you are speaking of my parents! Except they treat

both my older children and I like *babies*. I wish I was in your shoes and

*able* to financially move out from under my mother's *control*. She said she

was going to help us purchase a house (us buying it from her, with her being the

bank), but she made us sign a *rental* contract. We have all sorts of

restrictions on *supposedly* our own house. We cannot have any pets (no cat, no

fish, no nothing); we cannot remodel anything. We are stuck under her control

without credit to do our own thing. And even though I am grateful for her help,

I really feel like it is another one of her was of controlling us.

[Guest guest]

Dear -May,

It sounds like this is going to be a very difficult but ultimately freeing step

for you. I think it's hard to separate from our parents even when we need to and

hard to let go as parents even when we need to do that. Sending lots of courage

and hope your way....

[Guest guest]

-May ~

Sending prayers and hope that your situation works out for you.  I am greatful

for this board and it's support it always gives.  We all are here to support

you! You sound so strong and independant, I think your moving on will be a great

thing for both you and your family.  I am sure you are feeling so frustrated

and sometimes helpless, but take a deep breath, things will work out:)

Ann

________________________________

To: MosaicDS

Sent: Wed, February 24, 2010 12:49:29 PM

Subject: Re: Moving on...

 

Please may I have some support and words of wisdom as I am currently trying to

move out of my mothers rented house. I want to do things for myself and do them

on my own with some support which I am getting.

Thing is that I am being stopped in my tracks from my very broken and not at all

close family. I ask for help, they refuse and even when they try they don't

help, they control. As soon as I move out I can finally breath and start living

my own life.

I am going to do this without their help, I am struggling but I know I will do

it. My friends have been very supportive especially my boyfriend . He's the

one who has helped me to believe in myself and believe that I can do things for

myself no matter what.

I think I would benefit from an emancipation but I'm hesitant as it might brake

my family more and they probably wouldn't forgive me, thing is when I move, I

don't want anything to do with them because they don't understand my disability

and they still talk to me like I'm a child. They will never understand me and

I've given up trying to help them. I've had enough.

I'm still looking into different options for me and seeing what else there is

available for me. I'm very upset and just want me life back.

-May Minett

[Guest guest]

Good Morning, may!

You remind me so much of my own daughter with MDS.  You even look alike.  

One thing that works for us is an outside family counselor.  You know, everyone

can look at the same situation and see things differently.  Hear a conversation

and interpret it differently.  We have found the counselor to be a person that

can help us communicate better how we both see and feel about things. 

If your family is open to it maybe you can find a counselor that is familiar

with MDS and set up a session.  The counslor also helps with her

boyfriend relationships, school, friends and setting realistic goals.  

is a sweet girl and people have taken advantage of her.  Sometimes

her decisions are made without thinking through the consequences.  The

counselor helps talk things out.

Parents are so filled with love they just want to put a bubble around their

children from the things they can see as potential dangers.  This is love.  

The counselor has helped us to compromise with good healthy boundaries.  Maybe

before you move on and everyone's feeling are hurt try some family counseling,

alone and with family members.

I'll pray for you too!

, mother of 16 MDS and 18

________________________________

To: MosaicDS

Sent: Wed, February 24, 2010 12:49:29 PM

Subject: Re: Moving on...

 

Please may I have some support and words of wisdom as I am currently trying to

move out of my mothers rented house. I want to do things for myself and do them

on my own with some support which I am getting.

Thing is that I am being stopped in my tracks from my very broken and not at all

close family. I ask for help, they refuse and even when they try they don't

help, they control. As soon as I move out I can finally breath and start living

my own life.

I am going to do this without their help, I am struggling but I know I will do

it. My friends have been very supportive especially my boyfriend . He's the

one who has helped me to believe in myself and believe that I can do things for

myself no matter what.

I think I would benefit from an emancipation but I'm hesitant as it might brake

my family more and they probably wouldn't forgive me, thing is when I move, I

don't want anything to do with them because they don't understand my disability

and they still talk to me like I'm a child. They will never understand me and

I've given up trying to help them. I've had enough.

I'm still looking into different options for me and seeing what else there is

available for me. I'm very upset and just want me life back.

-May Minett

[Guest guest]

-May, I want to put you in touch with a friend of mine. I e-mailed you

separately, but you will have to respond to my yahoo mail.

Also, it sounds like from what I hear you saying that your family may be like

mine and have auditory processing problems, which is a MAJOR obstacle. I will

talk more to you offlist.

Cheer up!

>

> Good Morning, may!

>

> You remind me so much of my own daughter with MDS.  You even look alike.  

One thing that works for us is an outside family counselor.  You know, everyone

can look at the same situation and see things differently.  Hear a conversation

and interpret it differently.  We have found the counselor to be a person that

can help us communicate better how we both see and feel about things. 

>

> If your family is open to it maybe you can find a counselor that is familiar

with MDS and set up a session.  The counslor also helps with her

boyfriend relationships, school, friends and setting realistic goals.  

is a sweet girl and people have taken advantage of her.  Sometimes

her decisions are made without thinking through the consequences.  The

counselor helps talk things out.

>

> Parents are so filled with love they just want to put a bubble around their

children from the things they can see as potential dangers.  This is love.  

The counselor has helped us to compromise with good healthy boundaries.  Maybe

before you move on and everyone's feeling are hurt try some family counseling,

alone and with family members.

>

> I'll pray for you too!

> , mother of 16 MDS and 18

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: MosaicDS

> Sent: Wed, February 24, 2010 12:49:29 PM

> Subject: Re: Moving on...

>

>  

> Please may I have some support and words of wisdom as I am currently trying to

move out of my mothers rented house. I want to do things for myself and do them

on my own with some support which I am getting.

>

> Thing is that I am being stopped in my tracks from my very broken and not at

all close family. I ask for help, they refuse and even when they try they don't

help, they control. As soon as I move out I can finally breath and start living

my own life.

>

> I am going to do this without their help, I am struggling but I know I will do

it. My friends have been very supportive especially my boyfriend . He's the

one who has helped me to believe in myself and believe that I can do things for

myself no matter what.

>

> I think I would benefit from an emancipation but I'm hesitant as it might

brake my family more and they probably wouldn't forgive me, thing is when I

move, I don't want anything to do with them because they don't understand my

disability and they still talk to me like I'm a child. They will never

understand me and I've given up trying to help them. I've had enough.

>

> I'm still looking into different options for me and seeing what else there is

available for me. I'm very upset and just want me life back.

>

> -May Minett

>

>

>

>

>