Re: Thank you all to Sandie, from Ken(The dumb squarehead)

July 9, 2005

Greetings to you, Sandie!There is something I felt compelled to share with

you....this comes from personal confrontation with the problem you are facing.

You see, some people have this " physclogical deep ly ste need " to be first in

every thing., to be the one who is " noticed " , the centre of everyting.

I know, because my brotheris EXACTLY that way.And you know what I have

discocered? It's because the people who act that way feel insecure, somewhere

deep inside, they feel that they are " lacking " in something, and the only way to

GET that attention is by doing " objectional " things!

Family, that are able to see the situation from a little farther away are

able to recognize the bad behavior, and know it for what it is.

You know what makes you so very special? The fact that you DO recognize what's

going on, so to speak, and you, with this terrible diesease, yet STILL you carry

on.....YoumKNOW that you are what we call an unsung heroe!

I am really so very happy that you do have your husband there to help. And

kids these days? they are a LOT smarter at their age than WE were! You can't

" fool " today's kids for long. I wouldn't worry about them....when they see you,

still doing your best, with R.A., they still look on you with love in their

eyes.....and they are not missing their childhood!

You go, girl! Don't let a person who is inadequate, and insecure get to you!

You know the truth, and those who love you do to....and that includes your

family HERE!! All my love to you, Sandie! love, kenhank you

all for your kind words. They really help.

I try so hard at times not to get depressed about my situation, I know there

are far more people worse off than me and I am thankful for all that I do

have.

It has been especailly hard I think because my hubby has taken over so much

of the load. My job is supposed to be the home and kids and he has been coming

home form long days at work and doing a lot of my jobs. He also has quite a

bit of stress going on at work and for him to have this added pressure makes me

feel bad.

Someone wrote last week that their husband said they were together for better

or for worse. Well just the other night my dear hubby said the same thing. I

know I am lucky to have him.

I think part of my problem comes from my childhood when my own mother was

sick a lot(first debilitating migraines then lupus) and me being the oldest I

was

relied upon quite a bit. I do not want my kids to feel that they are losing

their childhoods or doing some of Mom's jobs. Does that make any sense?

As far as my sister I too analyzed that and found that I do not want my

family to group me in with her and all her fake problems. I say fake because

when I

lived close to her I witnessed first hand her lies and manipulation to get

people to pay attention to her. I feel sorry for her but for her to say she has

RA when she didnt even get her bloodwork back yet really rubs me the wrong

way. This is such a serious disease and so so painful that I would not wish it

on

anyone. If she felt what one of us felt for one day she would never say she

had it.

Well, thank you all again for understanding what I am going through and

letting me vent.

hugs to all,

Sandie

July 9, 2005