feeling down.

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I am feeling so down right now. I started my methotrexate last week so now

have 2 doses in me and still feel terrible. I am in so much pain right now that

when I shower the water hitting me hurts. I also feel like I am getting a

cold or something like that- Terrible headace and stuffy nose and such but took

my dose this week anyway. I so want this medicine to help me. Of those of you

who take this med- how long before you feel better?

I am also having so much guilt over the fact that I cannot do too much with

my kids. I am in so much pain it is all I can do to get through the day of

everyday care for them(they are 9,3,1) I dont even take them out to play

anyomre.

Ok it has been hot here(florida) but we usually go out after supper but lately

I cant even do that. Hubby works long hours and is a huge help when he is

home but for that I feel bad too. 2 nights ago I had to crawl into bed at 8 pm

and leave him with everything to care for the kids. I couldnt even cook that

night. I feel like I am a failure of a Mom and wife. I wish for the days when I

was my Old self. I want to wake up one day and feel good. I am so tired of

feeling this way.

then to make matters worse, my sister who is a huge hypochondriac now

supposedly has RA (in the past she has " supposedly, had a misscarriage, cancer,

now

also has back problems, stomach problems, sleep problems, bowel problems etc

etc) she has gastric bypass surgery and then was able to have her son but also

not without huge drama. Now I am going up to visit my family in 2 weeks and she

has all this crap going on. she also says she has lupus and plurisy( which I

had 3 times in the past 2 years) and says she has RA in her back. Can you even

get that in your back? I thought RA affected your joints. anyway... I dont

even know why I am mad at her for her lies . I guess it is because this damn

disease is so terrible I dont know why on earth anyone would want to pretend to

have it. ugh

well enough crying over myself I am jsut so tired of feeling sick and tired.

I hope you are all well and pain free.

hugs to all

sandie