To my Family, from Squarehead Ken.....a little more clarification,O.K.?

[Guest guest]

Greetings, to all the people I have come to love so much.....YOU ALL!!!!

There are a lot of guys out there, but NOT many men, in comparison: Just as

there are a lot of women, but few Ladies, in comparison.

And, most important...it is NOT your " upbringing , or your " childhood " that

determines who yopu turn out to be, or WHAT you turn out to be! I KNOW. And

because I feel so close to many of you, I am going to share a little known

fact:(you see, I don't share this with just anybody, so you can determine the

impact it had on me)

Both my mother and my " father " were very abusive alcoholics!.......my

" father " , well, he wasn't really my father...you see, my mother cheated on him

two years AFTER they were married, and I was the result. It was only two years

ago, in a drunken state, that my " father " finally let it be known that the name

of my REAL father was " Garbis Crone(or krone) .He was a norwegisan sailor,who

was " seeing my mother.My grandmother, and my grandfather, AND my mother were all

Norwegian. I suffered terribly, growing up, and I see, now, that the reason my

" father " hated me so much(he STILL does, evewn now, at HIS age) is because I was

a constant reminder of the fact that my mother stepped out on him. All thru my

child hood, are pictures in my mind of him brutely beating my mother and myself.

He put me in the hospital before I was seven, and HE is the reason I cannot

father children, whom are " drawn " to me, and whom I love!!!

A true man can be anything he wants! IF he CARES enough!!!!! I don't drink.

And I am not abusive. I don't swear, or go to bars, or laugh at someone else. I

have respect, even for the lonliest street person. I swore, growing up, I would

NEVER grow up to be like him! And I DIDN'T!

Because I WANTED to!!!!!!!I could tell you horrer stories, like the time he

dumped cold water on my head, a whole pot, then hit me over the head with it,

breaking it, a Corning pot, which isn't supposed to break, and then making me

stand out in the falling down snow, ai my pajama's......at age 7.

I have forgiven my parents all that they did...but I will never forget.

And THAT, dear family, is WHY I have NO patience with a person, man or

woman, who would hurt another.....including neglect, when their spouse needs it

so badly. It is ALSO, why, when I say " I love you " , even tho " I might not have

seen you, I MEANI it !!!!!!

Well, now you know a lot more about me than most. And you know what? If I

didn't love you all, I wouldn't tell you what I have just said!

I want to thank all of you who have answered my last post. I want to tell you

that it really DID bring tears to my eyes, and really made me feel good about

myself! It made me realize again, that I am NOT ALONE! Made me realize again,

how much you all really truly care! I thank you, more than I can write about! I

love you! oh....a word about why collecting hats is so important to

me....eventually, my grandfather and grandmother " rescued " me, and brought me

to live with them. My Grand dad was a trucker(as was I ) , and when he was gone,

I would go to the hall closet, and get one of his hats down, and bury my face in

it, when I missed him so badly, and his " scent " was IN the hat! I could smell

him, literally, and made me feel close to him! That's why I collect hats, and to

those of you who have sent me a hat, well, now you know why you are so important

to me, and why I say it means all the world to me that you WOULD send me a hat!

Truly, I loive you!

Well, I didn't mean to go on for so long. Please forgive me....it's just

such a comfort to have you all to talk to, to " get things off my chest " with, so

to speak.You all have become the family I have needed for so long, and I LOVE

YOU ALL!!!!!I pray that each and every one of you has someone to help, and

support you, be you a Lady or a Man(Truly you ARE....NOT just " guys, and Women)

haha! And,if ever I can do something special for you, let me know.....for

instance, give me a few " details " and I will gladly write a special poem, just

for YOU, or for someone you want to send it to( not to " brag " but I'm kind of a

" wordsmith " haha)

Well gotta go. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.I thank you, I

love you, and I hope I haven't offended any of you! You all mean the world to

me!

And, by the way, haha, if any of you want to send me a hat, Pat, and

Marina have my address, hahaha! Love to you all..........ken

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