Re: Hi all. Upset at the moment.

[Guest guest]

Dear Ebony,

God love you, girl, you will get through this. My daughter divorced

about a year and a half ago, and is remarried to the kindest, gentlest,

man who makes her feel like a princess. He is 22 years older than she

is, but is being a good father to her children (and that's not easy

with 2-year old triplets and a 5-year old). Her ex has been told

firmly that there will be no arguing, either in front of the kids or

not. He is paying the maximum in child support, and if he has to get a

2nd job to meet it, they are his kids.

I'll keep you in my prayers,

Judi

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Ebony,

God love you, girl, you will get through this. My daughter divorced

about a year and a half ago, and is remarried to the kindest, gentlest,

man who makes her feel like a princess. He is 22 years older than she

is, but is being a good father to her children (and that's not easy

with 2-year old triplets and a 5-year old). Her ex has been told

firmly that there will be no arguing, either in front of the kids or

not. He is paying the maximum in child support, and if he has to get a

2nd job to meet it, they are his kids.

I'll keep you in my prayers,

Judi

>

[Guest guest]

Ebony, I went through legal aid when I got a divorce 15 years ago, we

didn't have a lot of assets or anything but child support was going

to be an issue. He was financially irresponsible at that time in his

life, and was going to pay child support one way or the other. I

already had 3 older kids whose father skipped out on C/S- and them.

I laid down some ground rules- no arguing in front of Chas, and I

never said anything bad in front of her about her dad. She figured

out pretty fast that he was not really dependable at that time in his

life, and learned that she could trust me to always do what I say.

He has since grown up a lot, and really regrets wasting her early

years. He recently told me that he gave me all the credit for how she

turned out, which I told him that was God and not mom. We did without

a lot of material things but my kids and I have a bond between us

that can never be broken. My life has been so much more peaceful

since we divorced- broke, but peaceful! I will be praying for you and

your daughter, e me anytime you need to rant or whatever.

Love in Christ

Jane

- In , " stillbreathing29 "

<stillbreathing29@y...> wrote:

> Hi all,

>

> Very upset at the moment, so may decide to stay away from the RA

> boards because I don't want to project any of it onto you guys or

> get any of it mirrored back to me because of my comments. I visit

2

> of them here.

>

> Any of your comments can be mailed to the personal e-mail.

>

> If any of you have been through divorce and want to share a story

> you think may help, please feel free to send an e-mail.

>

> I am contemplating divorce and really think it's best. However, I

> am not interested in hearing a defense for him or anything like

> that. I have allowed more than I should already based on my

> condition and my daughter's condition. If I am ever to fight this

I

> will have to stand up for myself and attempt to surround myself

with

> people who care about my outcome. I have very little to start over

> but willing to go through the lonliness, emotional distress, and

> basically living without most of the luxuries I have for a chance

at

> peace and happiness, if that's possible. There are many, many who

> already support him in whatever he does. His family consists of

> mostly women and they wait on him constantly more than I ever

> could. No need for a wife, right? It's their way.

>

> I don't blame anyone, except myself and never have. Any negatives

I

> mention are ones to give me the courage and to remind me why this

is

> something I have to do. I have hinted around here often but I

think

> I need to get serious now.

>

> I have decided not to take anything except what he is willing to

> part with. I am mainly interested in things regarding my

daughter.

> I mentioned this to him and he has placed the entire thing with me

> and just flippantly says " you have 30 days, so get started. " ??? I

> want to do this without lawyers. I can't afford them anyway, and

> really want this handled in a civil manner without fussing or

> arguments.

>

> I guess I amm trying to see if anyone has gone through a divorce

and

> come out of it intact without the bickering or belittling each

other

> about it. He has already placed the blame on me which is what got

> me upset. (I just want to end it peacefully.) I guess gearing up

> for a case against me. I am too tired to blame back and can't

> afford to be stressed out.

>

> Thanks for allowing me to talk about this. Talk to you soon.

>

> Ebony

[Guest guest]

Ebony, I went through legal aid when I got a divorce 15 years ago, we

didn't have a lot of assets or anything but child support was going

to be an issue. He was financially irresponsible at that time in his

life, and was going to pay child support one way or the other. I

already had 3 older kids whose father skipped out on C/S- and them.

I laid down some ground rules- no arguing in front of Chas, and I

never said anything bad in front of her about her dad. She figured

out pretty fast that he was not really dependable at that time in his

life, and learned that she could trust me to always do what I say.

He has since grown up a lot, and really regrets wasting her early

years. He recently told me that he gave me all the credit for how she

turned out, which I told him that was God and not mom. We did without

a lot of material things but my kids and I have a bond between us

that can never be broken. My life has been so much more peaceful

since we divorced- broke, but peaceful! I will be praying for you and

your daughter, e me anytime you need to rant or whatever.

Love in Christ

Jane

- In , " stillbreathing29 "

<stillbreathing29@y...> wrote:

> Hi all,

>

> Very upset at the moment, so may decide to stay away from the RA

> boards because I don't want to project any of it onto you guys or

> get any of it mirrored back to me because of my comments. I visit

2

> of them here.

>

> Any of your comments can be mailed to the personal e-mail.

>

> If any of you have been through divorce and want to share a story

> you think may help, please feel free to send an e-mail.

>

> I am contemplating divorce and really think it's best. However, I

> am not interested in hearing a defense for him or anything like

> that. I have allowed more than I should already based on my

> condition and my daughter's condition. If I am ever to fight this

I

> will have to stand up for myself and attempt to surround myself

with

> people who care about my outcome. I have very little to start over

> but willing to go through the lonliness, emotional distress, and

> basically living without most of the luxuries I have for a chance

at

> peace and happiness, if that's possible. There are many, many who

> already support him in whatever he does. His family consists of

> mostly women and they wait on him constantly more than I ever

> could. No need for a wife, right? It's their way.

>

> I don't blame anyone, except myself and never have. Any negatives

I

> mention are ones to give me the courage and to remind me why this

is

> something I have to do. I have hinted around here often but I

think

> I need to get serious now.

>

> I have decided not to take anything except what he is willing to

> part with. I am mainly interested in things regarding my

daughter.

> I mentioned this to him and he has placed the entire thing with me

> and just flippantly says " you have 30 days, so get started. " ??? I

> want to do this without lawyers. I can't afford them anyway, and

> really want this handled in a civil manner without fussing or

> arguments.

>

> I guess I amm trying to see if anyone has gone through a divorce

and

> come out of it intact without the bickering or belittling each

other

> about it. He has already placed the blame on me which is what got

> me upset. (I just want to end it peacefully.) I guess gearing up

> for a case against me. I am too tired to blame back and can't

> afford to be stressed out.

>

> Thanks for allowing me to talk about this. Talk to you soon.

>

> Ebony