when do you say, ENOUGH!

[Guest guest]

I am confused right now.

I had a meeting w/ my T this afternoon (2nd meeting... this is brand

new to me) and she was really focusing on how to set boundaries and

have a relationship in the future with nada, though as of now nada

has essentially burned a bridge w/ me. Who knows when she'll make

contact... a week? Five years??? Do I really give a d* & ! other than

not wanting to anticipate it????

Anyway, my T was trying to say that at some point I'll miss my nada,

and want some sort of relationship, and my husband and I (is DH the

right term? What DOES it stand for???) should figure out our

boundaries and then set them when she makes contact again. I don't

even know if I WANT a future relationship w/ her.

Even if she were to call at some point, I don't know whether or not

I want to reiterate the boundary, " If you want a relationship w/ us,

then you and my stepdad need to sit down w/ my husband and me to

discuss all of this... past, present and future, " or if I want to

say, " You know what? Nevermind. Don't ever contact us again, ever. "

Questions:

1. When is enough considered ENOUGH?

2. Am I a terrible person for not wanting to see her again? Should I

feel guilty for WANTING to just have this OVER????

3. Also, I'm sure it's normal, but gee wiz I just feel so back and

forth... sad, mad, sad, mad. NOT hopeful, but I want to cling to the

idea that maybe I could have SOMETHING w/ her in the future, but IS

THAT TOO BIG A RISK? It's a gamble.

PS, I feel so awful. My nada is sick, I know she is sick, but when

do you draw the line and say, " I have to think of my marriage, my

family, my kid, and my own mental health? How about I just try to

not lose it over this. When do you draw a line and say, " That's

it!!! You have done ENOUGH damage, ENOUGH divisiveness, and ENOUGH

abuse and blame shifting from you to me. I am DONE! "

This is horrible. I HATE HER, HATE HER, HATE HER. How can she do

this? How is she SO hateful and selfish???? She is really ready to

lose relationships w/ me and my family simply b/c she wn't sit down

and talk about the problems that exist. Oh right, she may actually

have to take some responsiblity and stop to examine the possibility

that this might actually have something to do w/ her, not everyone

else.

OH MY GOSH I HATE HER.

Grace