Hi , I am new too and I can totally relate,

[Guest guest]

as I am sure every one here can on some level.

I have RA with a " high lupus count " whatever that means. I am

never told I have lupus right out but I feel the so-called high

count makes the RA a little on the extreme and severe side if that

is possible.

I am feeling a little down too and thought I would come here to chat

with the group. It can be a bit much to live this new chronically

ill life. Even though I am married, the condition is not very

marriage friendly, so still seek the company of other RA'ers.

I didn't get as far as you got with the career but had very high

hopes. I was a late bloomer, working in a hospital, training as

EMT, preparing for physician testings at a school in LA. I didn't

get to applying. As soon as I finished the EMT training I got RA.

So, I trained as an medical transcriptionist, so that I would have

something I could do from home and have been trying to complete a

BA's ever since while caring for my daughter who regressed at 2

years (passed away at 5/14/04 - age 11). It has been a long journey

but I am still fighting and hanging in there. It is all any of us

can do, right?

I was turned down for SS employment based 5 times. I had the

assistance of a lawyer. Finally, just started looking for other

ways to survive. I took out student loans, but school actually

brings on more flares. I guess the stress of it, not sure. I won't

give up though.

At this point, I am not all that interested in the SS, just wish

they had a program that at least helped us to retrain for something

we can do with RA. Until then, I will keep working as a

transcriptionist.

love and peace,

Ebony

> Dear RA Group;

> I probably belong here as well as anywhere else...if you all

will

> have me that is! I have Lupus, OA, Osteopenia, Post Thyroid CA,

> Fibromyalgia, severe sleep apnea, ideopathic sinus tachycardia,

and

> of course- Depression! It sounds like a lot when you write it all

> down, but as you all probably know, a lot of this stuff goes

> together, and just makes for one different and difficult life!

> Different from who we used to be, and who we wanted to be.

Difficult

> because it's hard...to give up your career, and vitality, and

> independence in some cases. It's hard to live with chronic pain,

> and " living " the " claim " years: You know- trying to get your due

via

> SS, employer-based insurance, VA comp, etc and constantly having

> to " prove " your disability instead of being able to do

the " healthy "

> thing, and get on with this different and difficult life.

> I was DX was LUPUS in 1994, after years of severe arthralgias,

> a " fetal " demise @ 20 weeks, petechial rashes, and then the big

guns:

> Brain MRI showing multiple lacunar infarcts, and positive lab work-

> once they finally started looking in the right direction. Have had

> Fibromyalgia since 1989- before it was even called " fibro " (it was

> called various forms of 'myositis'). Thyroid Cancer in 1995. Had

to

> finally cease and desist my beloved (and much grieved loss of my)

> Nurse/Manager position in 1999, and have been trying to get SS and

VA

> comp since. Actually, been trying to get VA comp since 1991, when

I

> got out of the AF Nurse Corps during Operation Desert Storm.

Finally

> after 14 years- I am getting evaluated by the VA MD's (5 different

> appointments, no less!)during the next 3 weeks. So I guess I'm a

> little more depressed and anxious, and possibly cynnical,than

usual-

> because I just dont have ANY faith in the VA system doing the

right

> thing, and I just can't deal with that.

> Anyway- thats a little bit about me. I look forward to getting

to

> know you all.