Re: Re: Using siblings to gang up (to Kristi)

[Guest guest]

OMG Walking it is like it's the same family!!! I sang throughout middle and

high school, and I was pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. But I

wasn't " good enough, " apparently. I remember asking Nada once why it seems

other

girls get breaks, how did they get them and such (I was thinking about

teenage singers at the time), and I remember her saying, " Well, honey, they

have

*talent. " * I'll never forget that as long as I live. Later on, when I wanted

to major in music and maybe teach at a high school level, I wasn't " allowed. "

Teaching was " dangerous " (right after the school shootings started) and,

besides, I'd never make any money in music. I joined the military instead.

Best decision I ever made. Then, though, I started smoking, and 10 years of

neglect later and a chronic illness later, my voice isn't what it used to be,

and never will be again. My time's passed, and I missed it b/c I had Nada in

my ear telling me I was good, but not good enough. Never good enough.

It's so sad. Nada talks about Grandnada a lot lately. Grandnada is really

acting horrible. It's sad. You can see the hurt through Nada's eyes, and

the abuse Grandnada put her though. I think my Nada loves me in her own way,

but how do you show love when you've never gotten it, you know? " Honesty " and

a tough skin were always much more desirable in Grandnada's, and then Nada's

eyes, then compassion and caring. Part of me wants to help Nada, I'm

completely done with Grandnada. Don't even care anymore. Part of me wants to

run

away and hide from them all...

Kristi